Victim is not a dirty word BACCHUS 2015 presentation
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Victim is not a dirty word BACCHUS 2015 presentation
- 1. Victim Is Not A Dirty Word Pittsburg State University Students for Violence Prevention
- 2. Students for Violence Prevention • Introduction • Who we are • Training • Ali’s role on campus
- 3. How do you prepare? • How have we been educated by family, friends and peers to NOT be victims of sexual assault? • How have we been educated to NOT sexually assault someone else?
- 4. Victim is not a dirty word • Victims of sexual violence are often pushed by those around them to move on and identify as a “SURVIVOR” • In forcing a victim to identify as a survivor, we are putting pressure on them to “move on”, “forget”, “feel better” and maybe that just isn’t the case
- 6. Meeting Victims Where They are • There is no shame in being a victim of sexual violence • Denial of victim-hood brings with it a denial of being human • If we fail to acknowledge the wounds inflicted upon us, we may never get around to examining them
- 7. So, how was it for you? • What was your immediate reaction to having to share your latest experience? • Fear • Disgust/embarrassment • Would you be open to sharing your experience? Would you choose to leave out details? Would you remember all of the details? • What if you had to tell your parents about that experience? • Would that change what you would choose to share?
- 8. Overloaded What a victim carries • How difficult was it to hold on those different things? • Would it be difficult to function with all of those things weighing you down?
- 9. How to respond to and support a victim • Let the victim have control • Listen actively • Never force them to talk • Remind them that it is NOT their fault • Do not force a victim to get medical help, but encourage them to follow up with a forensic exam • I BELIEVE YOU • Strong Responses are important. You may be the first one they tell. You may be the only one they tell.
- 10. Questions? Pittsburg State University’s Students for Violence Prevention • pittstatesvp@gmail.com • Facebook.com/PSUSVP • Twitter: @PSUSVP • Pinterest.com/PSUSVP • Instagram: @PSUSVP • Ali Smith • alisonclark@gus.pittstate.edu
Notes de l'éditeur
- Welcome! We are Students for Violence Prevention at Pittsburg State University in Pittsburg, KS (GORILLAS!) We are a group of peer educators who raise awareness and educate others about the issues of domestic violence, dating violence, sexual assault, stalking, and bystander intervention. We also discuss healthy vs. unhealthy relationships and sexual consent. All of our members go through training – there are two options for training – a semester course (1 credit hour) or an accelerated day training. Ali is the Coordinator of Violence Prevention and Victim Advocacy – Half of her hours are through Safehouse Crisis Center and half are through PSU. I am not a mandatory reporter. Anything a student tells me is completely confidential.
- VICTIM BLAMING tips A majority of these tips are condescending; they blame the victim instead of the perpetrator. No one asks to be sexually assaulted, no one asks for it. This is the only crime where we do this – if you think of a burglary or theft – no one questions the victim in those cases as if they were being interrogated. We as a group want to focus on prevention rather than victim blaming tips
- “Victim is not a dirty word” is something we’ve been infusing into our regular programming in order to create an environment for victims to feel safe – whether they identify as being a victim or survivor. Victims of sexual violence – or any type of violence are often pushed by those around them to move on and identify as a survivor. In forcing a victim to identify as a survivor, we are putting pressure on them to “move on”, “forget”, “feel better” and maybe that is just not the case.
- MORE OFTEN THAN NOT, THE WORD “VICTIM” IS USED DESPAIRINGLY, A NEGATIVE SENSE – VICTIMS ARE VIEWED AS WEAK AND HELPLESS. People will say “I’m not saying I’m a victim, but…” or “Don’t victimize yourself” or “don’t play the victim” Why is there so much shame around the word “victim?” Changing the ideas in our culture into realizing there is nothing wrong, inadequate, shameful, or weak about identifying as a “victim.” Is it because WE don’t want to hear it? We want to hear that the person who was a victim of sexual violence is okay. They are moving on. They are a survivor. Do we not want to hear about their pain and suffering because we don’t want to feel bad? This would remind us that we are all vulnerable. We could all be victims at any given time. We are critical of displays of emotion. We are supposed to say things like “everything happens for a reason” or “It could have been worse”
- Grief is brutally painful. If you have faced tragedy in any shape or form – it did not happen for a reason or to make you a better person. Some things in life cannot be fixed, they can only be carried (Megan Devine). Being a victim of sexual violence cannot be “fixed”. Some people think that “fixing” is reporting or seeing that perpetrator go to jail. In forcing victims to identify as a “survivor” we deny them the right to be human. We steal a little bit of their freedom when they’re standing at the intersection of their greatest fragility and despair. Change the idea around the word “victim” If there is shame around the word there will be a multitude of other problems: they won’t want to identify themselves as a victim – so they will belittle what happened to them, which means they won’t come forward, they won’t get the help and resources they need, perpetrators will get away with their crimes. “I acknowledge your pain. I am here with you”
- Homework Classes Friends Family Midterms Grief Pain Embarrassment Shame Blame Safety Depression Anxiety Job Bills Rent Roommate problems Lack of sleep
- Turn to the person next to you or around you and say “I BELIEVE YOU”