1. There is an uneasy calm, except, for the occasional crackling of haphazardly strewn, auburn leaves under my heel. The once
pruned bushes on either sides of the drive-in are now an overgrown mass of scrub. In complete disarray, the thick
undergrowth and winter branches supply all the requisite ambience of the disturbed.
Even the tarmac that often served as an excellent cycling ramp is broken in several places displaying years of neglect.
Abandoned and deserted, it was dying, slowly in time.
However, the one thing that remained the same that wintry November morning twenty years later was the acrid smell of dried
leaves and the refreshing chill of that winter air. I trudged ahead fully immersed in memories barely able to believe the sight
that spread before me. I never thought I would see it in such a deplorable condition. Nevertheless, I walked on guided by the
footfalls of the caretaker.
CHAPTER: 1 THE IRON GATE
My mind is now a kaleidoscope of the past, a whirl of colors and emotions. Each step bringing back a flood of memories from
the past, exciting yet intimidating. Twenty years have passed since I stepped foot on the manor, I still recall vividly those
countless moments fighting over who would open the gate when father came home. Here I was on the other side of the gate
wishfully thinking I was a little boy once again.
The gate had been shut for years .This was evident from the fact that vines and creepers intertwined with the now weak iron
bars .It was impossible to open it without first getting rid of the foliage. Nevertheless, after a little slash and cut, the vines gave
way. The passage of time and the constant corrosion of rust bore on the metallic frame. The iron bars had become brittle
braving the ravages of time, and taking on years of rain, hail and storm. Still, what struck me was that it stood proud and
imposing as ever, though on the verge of collapse. I felt a lump in my throat, an uneasy knot in my stomach. A trip down
memory lane was not very comforting and I had yet to see what lay beyond this Iron Gate. I was certain that the whole place
was in shambles, dilapidated, but the difficulty was dealing with the barrage of emotions and unpleasant memories that
brought along with it. Twenty years and this had to be it! There was no turning back. I had come too far to back out.
While I was absorbed in thoughts, I saw the caretaker reach for his pockets and after fumbling for a moment, he produced a
rusty looking key ring filled with odd-looking keys. He seemed to know which one for which because it did not take him long to
find the right key. The decisive moment had finally come. If I was ever a bundle of nerves this had to be it. With a heavy heart
and a deep breath, I told him to go ahead.
It took a moment to get the chains off the lock; it took even longer to turn the key. Obviously, no one had passed through
them for years. There was a click and the key turned much to my surprise. The caretaker swung open the gate and the rusty
hinges squeaked to life.
I was right after all. Nothing quite prepared me for the sight that caught my eye. The whole estate was in disorder. It was a
jungle out there because I had to wade through the tall grasses and undergrowth to move ahead. Flashes of images swept past
me and brought back faded recollections of growing up running around the estate and enjoying the freedom of youth. A numb
sensation surged through my body. Time had taken a toll on the estate. The house was never like this. There were better times,
better moments and certainly better memories associated with it. The distant voice echoed in my head as I heard mother
calling out for lunch on the greens just outside the house. I thought I heard mothers’ voice or did I? Every glimpse was
torturous, as each fragment of the past juxtaposed itself with the present.
A decaying stack of wood jutting amid the grasses caught my attention. Insects scurried out as I dug my cane into the wood
trying to recognize the familiar pieces of wood. It was one of the many benches dotted across the estate. I had often sat on one
of them daydreaming, just staring into the clouds, and wondering what lay beyond them. Did God really live up there? I
remember mother tell me so. For a moment, I had thought I was alone. All this time I had not really noticed the caretaker. He
looked at me and saw the pain in my eyes; Old Jo knew what was going through me. Kindly he advised that we should go on.
It had been twenty long years and each step faltered as I tried to put things together in my mind. It could not have been so long
ago I reasoned. All the same, from what I had seen, it was enough to convince my stubborn self that so much had changed.
Time had effaced everything. We walked on ducking under overgrown bushes and brushing aside tall grasses. It was getting
more and more difficult to advance. Every now and then old Jo would help free myself from the thorns tugging at my
shirtsleeves and trousers. After much struggle and cutting our way through the near impenetrable fortress of shrubbery,
things started to look a little better. The path got much thinner, vision clearer and eventually just ahead over the grasses, I
could see the dark broken silhouette of the manor overlooking the entire estate. I made my way slowly and retrospectively.
In another period, there used to be a beautiful garden and particularly in this part of the year, poinsettias sprinkled the manor
prettily in full bloom. Much of the estate bathed in a stunning crimson backdrop, a spectacle that has long been lost in time. Old
and badly in need of repairs, the manor stood like a weary soldier waiting for the end to come. Much of the walls were falling
apart and plants had grown into the bricks. Ferns and shrubs adorned the stony facade obliterating all evidence of its former
glory. There were neither windows nor doors. Large irregular holes in the walls suggested the same. A great deal of the roof
had come apart, whatever little remained looked as if it would not hold for too long. It was just a matter of time. Everything
was in ruins. I was not quite sure if I made the right decision to come back for there was nothing now except, rekindling
memories of a bygone era.

2. Still I could not bear but to see it one last time. There were far too many bittersweet memories associated with it. I walked
over to the crumbling edifice and stood on the paved courtyard; the pungent stench of decay filled the air. The place was
reeking of bird droppings and years of accumulated filth. It was just nauseating.
By now I had been in the manor for quite a while, it would soon be dark. Already the retreating sunrays cast long and dark
shadows on the walls. As if, the place was not already disturbing enough. Not that I was scared but it was, I must agree, eerie
and unnatural. A moment passed as my eyes tried to get used to the darkness. I strained to see ahead to avoid stumbling on
any obstacle. From the faint light of the setting sun, I noticed the entrance to the house, dark and illuminated in places. I got a
weird feeling of some unnatural energy beckoning me in. A slight breeze blew outside, stirring leaves and scattering them
around. Far into the distance, a soft cacophony of birds broke the silence. Night was fast approaching.
The inside of the manor was a wreck. It was difficult to see or move without brushing off the thick layer of cobwebs that were
all around us. Teeming with spiders, weaving intricate designs, the abandoned place seemed a perfect breeding ground. It was
disgusting to pass through, with the webs getting in your face, and hair and all over. Once having got rid of the webs, visibility
was much improved.
There was nothing much to see of the house. Like an archaeologist examining the remnants of a lost civilization, I delved into
the past, in thoughts long forgotten; trying to remember what was this place. I could not venture into the other rooms. Years
had made the place unstable. It was dangerous to explore the area. The rotting planks were too weak to support the weight.
One wrong move could prove fatal. Besides I was not to keen to look around. This place was giving me the creeps. From where
I stood, I noticed that the stairway was broken in places, and that there were no railings at all. It must have come apart a long
time ago.
I stood for a long moment allowing my tired mind to sink in, whatever I had absorbed. Everything seemed to be a figment of
my imagination. It felt only yesterday that I had been here.