The A-Z of Everything That’s Wrong With B2B Advertising is an un-learning book. Un-learn the following atrocities and help us make the world a better place for B2B buyers, B2B businesses, and everyone with eyes.

2. Not unfairly, B2B advertising doesn’t have the best reputation.
This compendium is a shameless attempt to distance ourselves
from the creative atrocities committed in B2B on a daily basis.

3. merican
stock shots of American business people
with their giant American grins. You think your buyers
won’t notice you’ve cheaped out? They’re on to you.

4. Intrinsicly build resource sucking mindshare without multidisciplinary ROI. Appropriately underwhelm sticky data with client-centered technology. Progressively parallel task future-proof action items with
compelling total linkage.Objectively build functionalized users via an expanded array of e-business. Distinctively supply business e-business via principle-centered action items. Professionally utilize cross-
platform e-business via intuitive leadership skills.Competently harness prospective scenarios with vertical systems. Professionally visualize quality functionalities whereas principle-centered partnerships.
Credibly negotiate synergistic processes without error-free metrics.Compellingly promote one-to-one partnerships and extensible growth strategies. Seamlessly leverage other’s backend customer service
without impactful intellectual capital. Interactively optimize ethical platforms through cutting-edge platforms.Globally scale market-driven internal or “organic” sources for parallel total linkage. Enthusiastically
reconceptualize effective process improvements through enterprise-wide testing procedures. Dynamically expedite holistic applications and functionalized intellectual capital.Dynamically develop wireless
architectures with ethical experiences. Globally actualize cross-media technology before granular e-commerce. Completely synthesize best-of-breed infomediaries before web-enabled niches. Intrinsicly
harness intuitive e-markets via e-business opportunities. Monotonectally incubate strategic growth strategies and reliable sources. Energistically evisculate sticky intellectual capital through integrated users.
Monotonectally restore team driven products with compelling alignments. Professionally disseminate future-proof meta-services vis-a-vis sticky web-readiness. Energistically innovate frictionless content
rather than diverse catalysts for change.Progressively negotiate ubiquitous functionalities through customized total linkage. Continually simplify accurate users with client-focused products. Seamlessly
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network empowered content and integrated niche markets.Authoritatively architect customer directed catalysts for change whereas interactive portals. Phosfluorescently orchestrate innovative growth
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strategies vis-a-vis real-time channels. Uniquely formulate bricks-and-clicks initiatives and corporate infomediaries.Conveniently enable mission-critical meta-services through maintainable supply chains.
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with client-centered technology. Progressively parallel task future-proof action items with compelling total linkage.Objectively build functionalized users via an expanded array of e-business. Distinctively
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supply business e-business via principle-centered action items. Professionally utilize cross-platform e-business via intuitive leadership skills.Competently harness prospective scenarios with vertical systems.
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extensible growth strategies. Seamlessly leverage other’s backend customer service without impactful intellectual capital. Interactively optimize ethical platforms through cutting-edge platforms.Globally scale
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market-driven internal or “organic” sources for parallel total linkage. Enthusiastically reconceptualize effective process improvements through enterprise-wide testing procedures. Dynamically expedite holistic
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applications and functionalized intellectual capital.Dynamically develop wireless architectures with ethical experiences. Globally actualize cross-media technology before granular e-commerce. Completely
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synthesize best-of-breed infomediaries before web-enabled niches. Intrinsicly harness intuitive e-markets via e-business opportunities. Monotonectally incubate strategic growth strategies and reliable
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sources. Energistically evisculate sticky intellectual capital through integrated users.Monotonectally restore team driven products with compelling alignments. Professionally disseminate future-proof meta-
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services vis-a-vis sticky web-readiness. Energistically innovate frictionless content rather than diverse catalysts for change.Progressively negotiate ubiquitous functionalities through customized total linkage.
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enable mission-critical meta-services through maintainable supply chains. Continually drive transparent internal or “organic” sources for market positioning resources. Intrinsicly build resource sucking
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mindshare without multidisciplinary ROI. Appropriately underwhelm sticky data with client-centered technology. Progressively parallel task future-proof action items with compelling total linkage.Objectively
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build functionalized users via an expanded array of e-business. Distinctively supply business e-business via principle-centered action items. Professionally utilize cross-platform e-business via intuitive
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leadership skills.Competently harness prospective scenarios with vertical systems. Professionally visualize quality functionalities whereas principle-centered partnerships. Credibly negotiate synergistic
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processes without error-free metrics.Compellingly promote one-to-one partnerships and extensible growth strategies. Seamlessly leverage other’s backend customer service without impactful intellectual
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capital. Interactively optimize ethical platforms through cutting-edge platforms.Globally scale market-driven internal or “organic” sources for parallel total linkage. Enthusiastically reconceptualize effective
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process improvements through enterprise-wide testing procedures. Dynamically expedite holistic applications and functionalized intellectual capital.Dynamically develop wireless architectures with ethical
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experiences. Globally actualize cross-media technology before granular e-commerce. Completely synthesize best-of-breed infomediaries before web-enabled niches. Intrinsicly harness intuitive e-markets
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driven products with compelling alignments. Professionally disseminate future-proof meta-services vis-a-vis sticky web-readiness. Energistically innovate frictionless content rather than diverse catalysts for
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change.Progressively negotiate ubiquitous functionalities through customized total linkage. Continually simplify accurate users with client-focused products. Seamlessly network empowered content and
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integrated niche markets.Authoritatively architect customer directed catalysts for change whereas interactive portals. Phosfluorescently orchestrate innovative growth strategies vis-a-vis real-time channels.
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Uniquely formulate bricks-and-clicks initiatives and corporate infomediaries.Conveniently enable mission-critical meta-services through maintainable supply chains. Continually drive transparent internal or
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“organic” sources for market positioning resources. Intrinsicly build resource sucking mindshare without multidisciplinary ROI. Appropriately underwhelm sticky data with client-centered technology.
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Progressively parallel task future-proof action items with compelling total linkage.Objectively build functionalized users via an expanded array of e-business. Distinctively supply business e-business via
principle-centered action items. Professionally utilize cross-platform e-business via intuitive leadership skills.Competently harness prospective scenarios with vertical systems. Professionally visualize quality
Buzzwords
functionalities whereas principle-centered partnerships. Credibly negotiate synergistic processes without error-free metrics.Compellingly
promote one-to-one partnerships and extensible growth strategies. Seamlessly leverage other’s backend customer service without impactful
intellectual capital. Interactively optimize ethical platforms through cutting- edge platforms.Globally scale market-driven internal or “organic” sources
for parallel total linkage. Enthusiastically reconceptualize effective process improvements through enterprise-wide testing procedures. Dynamically
expedite holistic applications and functionalized intellectual capital. Dynamically develop wireless architectures with ethical experiences.
Globally actualize cross-media technology before granular e-commerce.
niches. Intrinsicly harness intuitive e-markets via e-business opportunities.
i.e. Customer-focused, cutting-edge, Completely synthesize best-of-breed infomediaries before web-enabled
Monotonectally incubate strategic growth strategies and reliable sources.
Energistically evisculate sticky intellectual capital through integrated
alignments. Professionally disseminate future-proof meta-services vis-a-
exclusive, best-in-class, win-win, users.Monotonectally restore team driven products with compelling
vis sticky web-readiness. Energistically innovate frictionless content rather
than diverse catalysts for change.Progressively negotiate ubiquitous
accurate users with client-focused products. Seamlessly network
user-friendly. Or as Seth Godin functionalities through customized total linkage. Continually simplify
empowered content and integrated niche markets.Authoritatively architect
customer directed catalysts for change whereas interactive portals.
time channels. Uniquely formulate bricks-and-clicks initiatives and
wisely puts it, “The vast majority Phosfluorescently orchestrate innovative growth strategies vis-a-vis real-
corporate infomediaries.Conveniently enable mission-critical meta-services
through maintainable supply chains. Continually drive transparent
build resource sucking mindshare without multidisciplinary ROI.
of buzzwords exist for one reason: internal or “organic” sources for market positioning resources. Intrinsicly
Appropriately underwhelm sticky data with client-centered technology.
Progressively parallel task future-proof action items with compelling total
e-business via principle-centered action items. Professionally utilize
to hide.” linkage.Objectively build functionalized users via an expanded array of e-business. Distinctively supply business
cross-platform e-business via intuitive leadership skills.Competently harness prospective scenarios with vertical
systems. Professionally visualize quality functionalities whereas principle-centered partnerships. Credibly negotiate synergistic processes without error-free metrics.Compellingly promote one-to-one
partnerships and extensible growth strategies. Seamlessly leverage other’s backend customer service without impactful intellectual capital. Interactively optimize ethical platforms through cutting-edge
platforms.Globally scale market-driven internal or “organic” sources for parallel total linkage. Enthusiastically reconceptualize effective process improvements through enterprise-wide testing procedures.
Dynamically expedite holistic applications and functionalized intellectual capital.Dynamically develop wireless architectures with ethical experiences. Globally actualize cross-media technology before
granular e-commerce. Completely synthesize best-of-breed infomediaries before web-enabled niches. Intrinsicly harness intuitive e-markets via e-business opportunities. Monotonectally incubate strategic
growth strategies and reliable sources. Energistically evisculate sticky intellectual capital through integrated users.Monotonectally restore team driven products with compelling alignments. Professionally
disseminate future-proof meta-services vis-a-vis sticky web-readiness. Energistically innovate frictionless content rather than diverse catalysts for change.Progressively negotiate ubiquitous functionalities
through customized total linkage. Continually simplify accurate users with client-focused products. Seamlessly network empowered content and integrated niche markets.Authoritatively architect customer
directed catalysts for change whereas interactive portals. Phosfluorescently orchestrate innovative growth strategies vis-a-vis real-time channels. Uniquely formulate bricks-and-clicks initiatives and corporate
infomediaries.Conveniently enable mission-critical meta-services through maintainable supply chains. Continually drive transparent internal or “organic” sources for market positioning resources. directed
catalysts for change whereas interactive portals. Phosfluorescently orchestrate innovative growth strategies vis-a-vis real-time channels. Uniquely formulate bricks-and-clicks initiatives and corporate

5. ringe-factor
Evoking an emotional response is good.
Just not this one.

6. DMP
Double Digit Minded Propositions. Why does B2B have such a tough time
sticking to an SMP? They seem to think the more messages they can cram
into one poor little ad, the better value they’re getting. But where there’s
more than one message, it’s rare for any to be remembered.

7. mpty claims
Better, faster, cheaper, easier may have been believable
in the 1950s, but they’re now meaningless filler without
facts or guarantees.

8. ear Innovative advertising
requires imagination
and guts. If you’re not
prepared to be brave, it’s
time to get a new job.

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10. H H yperanalytical
Many a good idea has been killed because a
client takes it too literally. Then, after a little
tweak here and little tweak there, whatever
was clever about the concept is long gone.

11. I litys.
A security blanket for B2B brands,
the ilitys say a whole lot of nothing very
professionally: versatility, sustainability,
compatibility, usability, flexibility. Verility
annoyility.

12. zle
uz ce
p ie
s a w p
ea
n ds
tuck
ig
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agina
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e
eric h oth
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y t
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ay t
e al w we’re
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13. Yet another cliché
chained to the past.

14. agency syndrome
a zy
This is the leading cause of clichéd ideas and stockshots.

15. to organisations,
not humans
Don’t forget, organisations
can’t sign checks or contracts.

16. o insight
To communicate effectively, first do your research.
Don’t bother lifting a marketing finger until you understand who your buyers are,
and what they think and feel.

17. ffer-less
People love free stuff. Not only does an offer increase the chance of engaging a potential buyer,
it also allows you to measure the results of your advertising. You don’t have to spend an arm
and a leg, an offer can be as simple as a whitepaper.

18. The hapless pun is just a grammatical fluke,
a play on words devoid of insight. If you want
to connect to your buyers in an authentic,
memorable way, the pun is not it.

19. uick & dirty

20. obots, buyers are not.
They sing in the shower, cheat
on their wives, cry at the movies.
If you want buyers to care about
your brand, treat them like
real people, not emotionless
automatons.

21. Stock shots, starbursts, shouting and the over-used buzzword “solution”.

22. oo loud
You may think you have to shout to stand out, but there’s no
faster way of getting ignored. The less something looks like
advertising, the longer people will spend looking at it.

23. nloved
Whether creating art direction or copy, care
and craftsmanship show and reflect on the
brand behind it.

24. Words don’t sell, research and knowledge does. Don’t blur the point, get
down to it. If you can’t back up a claim, don’t use it. If a word is unnecessary,
can it. Buyers are busy people, respect their time and keep it short .
ni doleceate
Perrum illuptae
ni doleceate e officipsust
Perrum illuptae ofPerrum illuptae
ni doleceate ficipsust
ni doleceate ni doleceate
Perrum illup
Perrum illuptae
Perrum illuptae
ni doleceate

25. W
The marketing manager’s wife
the very act of analysing
in particular.
an ad is the
bring it on!
ives
Good ideas can easily be tested to death, because
opposite of a gut reaction, which is what
occurs in a real audience. That’s why it isn’t helpful to ask your husband, girlfriend, pedicurist, or the
office cleaner to play critic.

26. If your competition has done something great, it’s
because it’s unique and they can own it, and that’s what
makes it great. As soon you as you copy them, it’s not
only not great, you’re paying to advertise someone else.

27. You. You. You. Stop focusing on the features
of your products and services, and focus on
your buyers’ needs instead.

28. Z Z ZZ...

29. Steve Ballantyne is a B2B marketing specialist
and managing director of BallantyneTaylor.
Email: steve@ballantynetaylor.co.nz