Strategies to Prevent False Allegations

SECTION III

A FAMILY SAFETY PLAN

STRATEGIES TO PREVENT
FALSE ALLEGATIONS

Online Training "Safeguarding"
Foster Parents Society of Ontario

Anything that is capable of great

good
is also capable of great
Harm

Abuse occurs more frequently in the caring profession
(churches, CAS, foster families, teachers, coaches,
counsellors) than in the general population as this is
where abusers find ready access to their prey.


STRATEGIES TO PREVENT FALSE ALLEGATIONS

 Gather Background Information PRIOR to
Placement:
In order for foster parents to protect themselves
from allegations of abuse it is important to
understand the background of young people so
that they can be helped to the best of individual
foster parents ability. Understanding the child’s
background can also help to avoid situations which
may be perceived as abusive.



Background Information: (cont’d)

You need to know if the child was previously abused
sexually, physically or emotionally. What was the
sequence or process leading to the abuse? Was it
tied into having a bath, being hit with a specific
instrument? etc. You need to know what happened
and “with what" it happened.




Information on the previous life experiences of the
foster child will help you to be able to decide whether
this child will fit into your current family constellation.
When you have a victim of child sexual abuse, do you
want to put an adolescent offender in the same home?
If the child was sexually abused, and is sexually
active, -how well protected, or aware are your own
children or other foster children?



Has the child made previous allegations; physical or
sexual or neglect? (frequency important).
Has the biological family made past allegations against
foster families? (frequency important).
Is child physically aggressive and has he/she ever
required restraints, psychotropic drugs?



Background Information (cont’d)

Know medical issues and is your family comfortable
with these issues.
What is the child’s personality and does their
personality mix well with your family?
How many admissions has the child experienced?




Are there attachment difficulties with the child?
How does the child feel about being in care?
Is the child indiscriminate with their affection towards
males?
Does the child flinch/cringe when reprimanded?
School difficulties i.e. supervision
Frequency of access




 Read child’s Society file thoroughly.
 Get as much information about the child before he/she
comes into the home from previous worker, previous and
current foster parents.
 Arrange a preplacement visit if possible.
 Continue to acquire ongoing information regarding child
(i.e. from worker, teachers, the child’s file, cub
leaders, therapists, etc.)



 The Decision to Foster:
 Are you able to say “NO” or can you be convinced to
take “just one more”;
 Are you able to say no, because the child doesn't fit
into your current mix of kids - or because you are not
going to put your own kids at risk?
 Are you able to say no because your skills cannot
meet the needs of the child?
 Solicit other family members’ opinions;



The Decision to Foster: (cont’d)
 Ask yourself if this placement can truly work;
 Can I manage/help this child;
 Do I have or can I access the required training. Have
you had specialized training to prepare you to work
with the type of children that you have agreed to
foster? If you have not, then you are potentially
setting yourself up. You need background information
and concrete ideas on bow to help the children you
are caring for. Love is not enough.



 The Setting
The physical layout of your home, and the space
you have for extra children should be
considered.
 Do you have the space or are you making space?
 Have you got an agreement on the number of children
you will/can take?
 Do you stick to your agreement or do you allow
yourself to be convinced to take "just one more"?



The Setting (cont’d)

 Look at the sleeping arrangements in
particular, e.g., who is sleeping in what
rooms, what are their backgrounds, what is the
attitude toward sharing?

 How important is your child(ren)’s personal space?



 Training & Education:
Foster parents need a general understanding of
children's behaviours and the reasons for behaviours.
While certain behaviours may not always be
understood, knowing what children may be seeking
from the various behaviours can be helpful.



Training & Education (cont’d)
 Take training courses/parenting courses; Participate
in any training that is available on working with
children and youth who have been physically or
sexually abused. It is important that both parents
participate in the training sessions, not just one.
Make time to read books or pamphlets that will
increase your awareness of abuse of children and
offer specific ideas on how you can help those who
have suffered abuse.




 Specialized courses may be required to work with
specific children;
 Attend cluster and FPA meetings
 Use CYW support system, your worker and
Resource worker whenever available.




 Access the mentors and Foster Parent Peer Support
person.
 Obtain a copy of your Society 's procedures for
handling allegations of abuse, particularly those
related to foster care. If your foster family
association has developed procedures in conjunction
with your Society then get a copy. If you have any
questions, then seek answers. It is better to have the
procedures before it is too late



 Get training in Crisis Prevention Intervention (CPI)
 Know your Society’s discipline policy
 Know your Society’s position on use of restraints.



 Respite
 Have an agreement with your Society as to relief for
this child; You should not live 24 hours a day/365
days a year without some breaks from fostering.
 Foster children require a lot of emotional support.
You need to be rejuvenated, and you also need
time to be alone with your own family.
 Respite should be considered mandatory and be
available a minimum of once a month.



Respite (cont’d)

 Do not assume relief, get it in the Plan of Care;
 Ask for extra relief and support during the
“difficult” times;
 Take recuperation time after a particularly difficult
incident has occurred.



 Support
 Build and maintain a support system. As a foster
family you need better support systems than most
people. You have many additional pressures caused
by the problems of the children you may
have, disrupted family dynamics, and difficulties that
may arise in dealing with the social worker or the
Society.



Support (cont’d)

 Support can come to you from attending meetings
of your local foster family association, through close
friends, or from your own extended family. It is very
important that you have someone to turn to in time
of crisis. Make sure you have an up-to-date list of
your foster family association's emergency contact
people.



Support (cont’d)

 Have a plan at the beginning outlining the amount
and type of support that will be required to meet the
needs of the child, e.g., CYW, group and individual
counselling;
 Revise the support plan regularly, particularly after
the “honeymoon” period;



Support (cont’d)
 Know your limits, ask for assistance when you
reach them (Mentor, Foster Parent Peer
Support Person, CYW & Resource Workers);
 Don’t be afraid to say you are in over your
head.



 Discipline & Treatment:
 Know and use appropriate discipline and treatment
procedures;
 Do not hesitate to ask for concrete ideas from
Society staff and other professionals regarding
strategies for particular behaviour problems;
 Know your Society’s discipline & use of restraints
policy.
 Have CPI Training.



 Social Isolation:
 Take the time for your personal relationships, e.g.
spouse, family and friends; Don’t sacrifice your
personal relationships for the “sake of the kids”.
 Build up a strong support system.



Reporting:
 You must report serious occurrences;
 Know what serious occurrences are and the
procedure for reporting them;



Reporting: (cont’d)

 Report any event which can be interpreted as an
abusive situation or inappropriate behaviour;
 Make sure that you keep your social worker
informed of significant events such as all
illness, self-injury, or injuries due to fights or falls.
 If there are changing dynamics in the foster family
such as illness of one foster parent or behaviour
changes in the foster child, inform your worker.




 If your foster child has a problem, let the child's
worker know as soon as possible. Make sure you
keep a record in your daily log of what you talked
about with your worker (times, days, topics, etc.).
Check to see that your worker correctly interpreted
what you said.




 Keep a copy of all annual assessments and
documentation pertaining to your home.
 If possible, report serious misbehaviours with the
child present;
 Voice mail and emails are considered reporting.



 Record Keeping:

 Maintain recording/logs of each and every foster child in
your home. Keeping daily records:
Allows you to review situations;
Provides your child's social worker with additional information
that can help in decision-making;
Maintains a record of accidents, fights or disagreements;
Allows you to maintain a record of how you handled these
situations.



Record Keeping: (cont’d)
 Recording should include both positive and negative
situations that your children have encountered each
day.
 Your log should also keep a list of all people who visit
you during a given day.
 Your log should be in a type of journal where pages
cannot be removed or added. This will add credibility
to your notes should they be required in court. i.e.
nothing added or altered after the fact.



 Encourage your children to keep diaries. Another
interesting idea, utilized by a number of foster
parents, is to have your foster children make monthly
written comments on the home. This is like an
evaluation, but is an informal way of opening
communication and catching issues of concern that
may be developing.




 Personal notes/logs should be kept by you in a locked
file;
 Society reports must be returned when the child moves
or upon request of the Society – it is a legal
responsibility;
 Share all records/logs with worker(s).


 Don’t Set Yourself Up:
 It is strongly recommended that you not leave your
children alone without an appropriate and authorized
adult present. Make sure you know your Society 's
regulation on who constitutes an authorized adult.
 Be aware and/or limit one-on-one time with children
who have been sexually abused, particularly, if you are
of the opposite sex;
 It is strongly suggested that teen or adult males NOT
be alone in the home or car with female children/teens.
 Be aware of jokes or sarcasm which can be
misconstrued;


Don’t Set Yourself Up: (cont’d)
 Know your foster child's personal space in relation to
touching, and hugging;
 Look at who does what and if it is appropriate.
e.g., baths, dressing the child, time spent in the
bedroom or bathroom.
 Have house rules for everyone about privacy, night
dress, etc. particularly when dealing with foster
children who are sexually aware, or have been known
to have been sexually abused.
 Give the child be given a copy of these rules to keep.



Don’t Set Yourself Up: (cont’d)
 Be Aware of Self and Family Limits. Do you know what
your limits are? Can you define the types of problems that
you are able to cope with and those that you are not? Do
you know when you are getting to the 'end of your rope’?
Can you tell when your family, as a unit, is being affected
and having difficulty? Are you able to take a break
between placements of children and young people? Are
you taking care of your own needs?



 Pre-placement visits:
 Planning for a new foster child for your family should
include, wherever possible, a pre-placement visit. It is
also important that your natural children and any
significant others be present.
 Pre-placement visits can be advantageous for several
reasons. This visit allows you and your family a chance
to get to know the child. If you involve your whole
family in the decision-making around a new foster
child, then this will give all of you a chance to discuss
and arrive at a decision.



 Alternate Caregivers:
In order to decrease the potential for an allegation of
abuse in the foster family setting, it is important that you
take some protective steps when you obtain an alternate
caregiver.
You should:
 Obtain a substitute caregiver from a pool of trained
and approved foster parents.
 Utilize a substitute caregiver that has been
approved by the Society .



Alternate Caregivers: (cont’d)

 Utilize a caregiver who knows your children and
their backgrounds.
 Try to have a substitute caregiver stay in your
home, rather than moving your foster children to
another home.
 Do not utilize, for any reason, an untrained
caregiver or any other caregiver without
permission of your Society.

 Consult your children about who they would prefer
as an alternative caregiver.


 Sensible Caregiving & Prudent Fostering
 Foster parents need to have clear rules of what is
acceptable in their home. These house rules need to
take into account specific ways of protecting the
entire foster family from abuse or possible
allegations of abuse.



Sensible Caregiving & Prudent Fostering (cont’d)

 Foster parents should establish "house rules" based on
the history and the special needs of the child accepted for
foster placement. They should be documented and
attached to the plan of care. It is important for the social
worker to understand the rules. This can help stop a child
from getting accidental permission from the worker to
break a rule.
 Usually it is helpful to establish and follow "house rules"
which cover the following areas: privacy, reasonable
dress code, physical contact and exchange of
affection, communication, no secrets, and third party
presence.


Basic House Rules:
 Bathroom door closed unless you have to assist a child with
personal hygiene. In this case, it would be advisable to leave
the bathroom door open, or have another adult present if
possible.
 Only one child at a time in the bathroom.
 Do not allow children to go into each other's bedrooms. (or no
door closed)
 Everyone should be properly clothed when in public areas of
the house. Wear a housecoat or robe.




Basic House Rules (cont’d)
 Beach clothes are for beach and pool only.
 Develop consequences with all the children in your home.
 A closed bathroom and bedroom door are to be respected.
 Always knock, or ask permission, before entering another
person's bedroom.
 Beds are for sleeping ONLY!
 Rules should be age appropriate.




Basic House Rules (cont’d)

 Never permit the child to see you without clothes on.
 Never permit the child to walk around wearing inappropriate
clothing, i.e. black nighties, or too little clothing.
 Avoid bathing, even young children, without other adults in
the home and present in the bathing area.




GUIDELINES TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE ALLEGATIONS

 Understand child’s boundary issues
 Hugging is a boundary issue
 Wear discreet clothing Mom, Dad & Kids
 Gestures- watch body language
 Use safe language. –suggestive language is risky.




GUIDELINES TO AVOID SEXUAL ABUSE ALLEGATIONS

 Physical activities/games – be cautious, Twister, tickling etc.
 Lights on – whenever with child
 Who can talk about sex – decide what is prudent
 Watch for the come-on/the crush
 Who is left alone with whom?
 Traveling alone with whom?



GUIDELINES TO AVOID PHYSICAL ABUSE ALLEGATIONS

KNOW YOURSELF!
 Know your own triggers

 Check your emotional balance.




Discipline
Discipline is a part of the parent-child relationship that
can often get foster parents in trouble. Many allegations
of physical abuse revolve around the use of discipline. It
is important that you know your Society's policy on
discipline and that you follow those policies. The
consequences of not following your Society's policy or
procedures is that you may be charged with abuse.



Discipline (cont’d)

Discipline is a necessary part of the parent-child
relationship and of a child's maturation. Through the
sensitive and judicious use of discipline, a child learns to
become self-disciplined and self-confident. Therefore, it
is an expectation that social workers and foster parents
approach the issue of discipline with
knowledge, patience and consistency.



Discipline is used for the purpose of teaching and
guiding a child towards desirable and acceptable
behaviours, rather than retribution for wrongdoing.
The basis for all successful work with children is creating
and sustaining a good relationship with the child.
Cultivate relationships employing positive measures
which build self-esteem and cooperation.



UNACCEPTABLE DISCIPLINARY PRACTICES
 deliberately harsh or degrading responses that could result in
the humiliation of a child or the undermining of a child's self-
respect
 deprivation of basic needs including food, shelter, clothing,
bedding or sleep
 extensive and prolonged withholding of emotional response or
stimulation after the undesirable behaviour of the child has
stopped
 placing or keeping a child in a locked room



UNACCEPTABLE DISCIPLINARY PRACTICES
 threatening removal of the foster child from the foster home in an
attempt to control behaviour. It is recognized that foster
parents, with older children or teens, may well have some
behaviours that they will not tolerate in their home. They may
discuss these matters with a child, recognizing that removal could
be a consequence, of such behaviours. Plans for serious
consequences are best discussed with the child, foster
parent, and social worker together.
 corporal punishment
 punching, shaking, shoving, pinching, slapping or other forms of
aggressive physical contact





ACCEPTABLE DISCIPLINARY PRACTICES
 Positive reinforcement and praise, use of rewards
 Modelling
 Routines and Limits
 Clear Expectations and follow-through
 Prompting
 Redirecting/distraction
 Verbal Disapproval




ACCEPTABLE DISCIPLINARY PRACTICES
 Withholding or granting privileges
 Grounding
 Time-outs
 Logical Consequences
 Chores, Assignment, Restitution
 Negotiating, Problem Solving, Choices
 Ignoring
 Motion Detectors



 Prudence is Your Protection
 Report immediately, any inappropriate behaviour.
 Seek immediate medical attention for any medical
concerns, i.e. urinary infections for it could grow into
allegations.
 Don't try to resolve trauma all by yourself.
 Report to the worker, any unlawful behaviour, either in
the home or community, i.e. substance abuse.
 Minimize discussion with the child of a sexual nature, as
this could become their fantasy.
 Report problems in school.



 FAMILY MEETINGS

Family meetings give a chance for everyone in the
foster family to be heard on issues arising in the
family. They encourage open communication within
the family and may help to keep potentially abusive
situations or "secrets" from developing. If everyone in
the family has the right to participate and have input,
then the likelihood of an allegation due to feelings of
not being heard or listened to, is less likely.



FAMILY MEETINGS (cont’d)

Purpose of family meetings:
 Being heard.
 Expressing positive feelings about one another and
giving encouragement.
 Distributing chores fairly among members
 Expressing concerns, feelings and complaints.
 Settling conflicts and dealing with recurring issues.
 Planning family recreation




Guidelines for Family Meetings:
 Meet at a regularly scheduled time so that family
members can make their plans accordingly and can
count on a time to discuss the issues important to
them.
 Share the responsibilities of the meeting itself by
rotating who chairs the meeting.
 Keep minutes of family meetings so that you have
a record of issues, plans and decisions.



 Together, plan the amount of time you will reserve for
family meetings.
 In deciding who will do the household chores, parents
and children together make a list of necessary chores
and then decide how to distribute them.
 Any agreements made in the family meeting are to be
in effect until the next meeting.




 Any complaint about decisions from a meeting should
be deferred until the next session.
 All family members have opportunity to bring up
matters important to them.
 Make sure your meetings are more than job
distribution and problem solving sessions.


This concludes the second portion of
the Safeguarding training session.

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Strategies to Prevent False Allegations

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