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Coaching your-imaginary-friend
1. 1
Glenn Livingston, Ph.D.
Coaching and Your
Imaginary Friend
This is a Transcript of a FREE Full Length
Audio Which You Can Download Here:
http://www.coachcertificationacademy.com/SendToI.htm?n=1
Sharon Livingston, Ph.D.
Glenn and Sharon Livingston have sold over
$20,000,000 in consulting and/or coaching
services. Glenn has worked with over 1,000
coaching clients and directly supervised many
coaches and psychotherapists. (And Sharon has
worked with over 60,000 people in a group
format!) The Livingston's previous work and
theories have also appeared in dozens of major
media like those listed here. And Glenn was
raised in a family of over a dozen helping
professionals (psychologists, social workers,
counselors, therapists, etc)… it's in his blood!
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2. Coaching-Your-Imaginary-Friend
Sharon: Hey, Dr. Glenn.
Glenn: Hello.
Sharon: This is so exciting. I am so excited to help you talk to potential coaches
about what they're going to be accomplishing and how we can help them.
It's really, really exciting to me to help people realize their dreams.
Glenn: Well, I'm excited to be here talking about it also. I'm always happy to
provide more valuable and free information that helps people to move closer
to becoming a real coach or to bring in their coaching to the next level.
Sharon: I was thinking about the kind of people who will be coming to us and the
kinds of questions they might ask. I was hoping that I could role play that
and maybe you could help with the answers.
Glenn: Yeah, sure.
Sharon: How do I know I'm going to be a good coach?
Glenn: Well, that's a $50,000.00 question, isn't it?
Sharon: At least.
Glenn: Why don't you put yourself fully in that character, if that person is really
wondering how they know if they could be a good coach. Talk to me a little
bit more about what's behind the question. Why don't you give this
character a name that's not you so we can actually role play this?
Sharon: Okay. My name is Jill.
Glenn: Hi, Jill.
Sharon: Hi.
Glenn: When you say, Jill that you're wondering how to know you're going to be a
good coach, whenever you can ask a question that's like half an answer in
there, I would imagine that there's a part of you that says, "Yes, I could
definitely be a good coach. This is what I'm meant to do." Then, there's
another part that is terrified of things, "No, this is wrong." Could you tell me
a little bit more about both of those parts before we try to answer that?
2
3. [0:01:28.1]
Sharon: I'm thinking about being sort of a -- you know what? I'm not exactly sure
what to call myself. I've had a lot of success helping kids to get through
some of their school problems. Not necessarily by working with them with
Math or English or Spanish or Literature whatever, but by helping them to
kind of almost like play therapy in a way. Like, humoring them out of it then
helping them define what the issues are and talking it through and making a
plan for getting through it.
Glenn: It's almost like a paradoxical academic coach. You to help them get better
3
grades without…
Sharon: Without ever talking about…
Glenn: Study habits and…
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Interesting.
Sharon: I help them bring in some positive amulets that make their life easier.
Glenn: Interesting. You've had this experience a few times in your life?
Sharon: Yeah. I've been doing that with kids and young adults. As an example, I
worked with this young woman who was really having trouble with learning
because she couldn't sleep well at night so she was always tired. I asked
her where she felt most confident. She felt most confident and comfortable
and relaxed on a yoga mat. I asked her if she ever like would just kind of
relaxed on the mat, close your eyes and almost go to sleep. She said,
"Yes." I said, "What would happen if you took your yoga mat into bed?" She
giggled about it. She thought it was kind of silly and she started doing that.
She started getting good night sleep. It made a real difference because then
she was able to be present and alert when she was studying. It's sort of
like, I don't know, kind of a paradoxical intervention. I mean, how many
people would tell you to sleep with your yoga mat?
Glenn: So, it’s not really academic coaching. It's like wackademic coaching.
Sharon: Yes. Oh, I love that.
Glenn: But you're not getting paid for this yet.
4. [0:03:19.0]
Sharon: Well, I did get paid for that actually but, you know, not a lot. It was almost
like a favor but that's an example of the kind of stuff that I've done. I will tell
you about another one. This young woman was totally terrified of tests. I
asked her what kind of things made her feel happy. She loves animals and
she has this thing for stiletto heels. I said, "What would happen if you wear
your stiletto heels to the tests?" She said she'd feel really hot and so she did
that. That made a big difference because she thought she was really hot.
She's only 13 years old but…
Glenn: That's great. That's really great.
Sharon: Yeah. Things like that.
Glenn: You sound like a coach to me. What's the ambivalence?Why do you think
4
maybe you're not?
Sharon: First of all, can I always come up with some kind of cool thing like that?
Glenn: I see.
Sharon: People who know me think of me as very creative and pretty silly and able
to come up with wackademic. I love that. Wackademic counseling. I think
that is a riot.
Glenn: Coaching.
Sharon: Yeah. Wackademic coaching, but they work. Those crazy interventions
work.
Glenn: I still don't know what your ambivalence is.
Sharon: They'll sound crazy.
Glenn: You're worried that it's going to sound crazy. You're worried you're not
going to be able to continue to come up with interventions that are going to
work for these people.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Okay. Those are two separate objections. Why don’t we talk with each one
separately for a second?
Sharon: Okay.
5. [0:04:28.7]
Glenn: The first one has to do with evolving your creative inspiration into a
coaching system that has a method to the madness so that you know how
to interact with the client in a professional way that keeps them engaged
until the inspiration hits you, until you really see what the problem solving
moving inspiration might be. That's part of what can be taught. That's part
of what's been studied for hundreds of years in the human sciences. It's
part of what it means to become a coach is to learn how to take those
moments of brilliance and be with people until you can engineer them again
and again.
Very frequently in the early sessions, you may have one or two of those
moments of brilliance because there's a lot that's going on on those early
sessions. By the time they actually get themselves to come for a coach to
ask for help to get over any reluctances they have inside to connecting with
you and asking for help and be open to that, they've actually marshaled a lot
of their constructive energy already. They're bringing that to you. It's
almost like you're kind of taking that energy and letting it flow through you
emphatically and presenting this flower to them.
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: Right?
Sharon: Yeah.
Glenn: But then, when they come back for the second session or the third session
or the 30th, where does that come from? There are lulls in that roller
coaster. You need to learn how to manage those lulls and what to do to get
people through them and keep them involved in the relationship.
I would say to you that it's perfectly normal that you'd have that question
because you haven't been coaching professionally and doing 12, 20, 30, 50
sessions with people. But over the course of having those experiences,
there'll be some awkward moments. Over the course of training with us at
the academy, you'll learn a system for interacting and engaging with people
when they're kind of in their more destructive modes as opposed to bringing
you all that creativity so you have the opportunity to do it again and again
and again.
The real answer is rather than thinking of it as a well that you have to have
full all the time, you need to think of it as a river that you learn to step into
with the client when they're ready. It has to be okay to be with the client
when that river isn't really there, when they're not ready to step in the river.
5
6. [0:06:47.5]
Sharon: That reminds me of a couple of things. One of them is, as you know I'm
giving a speech next week on archetypal branding. This is Sharon talking,
not Jill. You're not going to believe this but I entitled it "Warrior,Wizard or
Wacky Pack", and you came up with wackademics.
Glenn: Right.
Sharon: It's really weird when we're in sync like that.
Glenn: Can I just say something that's really important to me?
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: It's really important to me that people understand that our academy is about
encouraging your creative coaching style, right?
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: I've got a system that we developed over the last 24 years. I've worked with
over 1000 clients. I really want to give people a system to rely on so that
they don't have to have so many awkward moments. They know they're
going to be able to know what to do when they don't have that ingenious
creativity. But what's most exciting to me as a teacher and a supervisor is
when I can see a coach flower like that. When I can see a coach come up
with those wackademic interventions, I can say, "Oh my God. You mean I
could get paid for this?" "Oh my God, this is really helpful to people. I don't
have to follow this rule like I was in school. I can actually be myself with the
client and look what happened." That's what's most exciting to me.
Sharon: I love that. What we're talking about right now, with the wacky pack,
wackademic thing is that's something that gives me, Jill, personally joy but it
might be something totally different for a different kind of coach. It might be
a much more detail oriented or something that's more in the moment and…
Glenn: I've had coaches who have gone back to their spreadsheets and put in
these agonizing decisions that their clients are trying to make and actually
created a mathematical model and then presented that mathematical model
back to the client. That's what the client got.
Sharon: Yeah. It could be a detail or a fact. It could be more fact. I mean I like the
intuitive aspect. That's what you just picked up on. I love having that being
able to be intuitive with people that I work with. When I'm doing my
interviewing, I have these moments all the time but that's because Sharon,
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7. 7
[0:08:37.2]
not Jill, is unrelaxed and my ability to do that whereas Jill thinks that she's
had these just fortuitous moments and doesn't know yet that when she's
relaxed, those will happen all the time.
Glenn: Right. What I would say to Jill is that she's right to understand there's a little
bit of a mountain to climb to get used to that and develop that confidence.
But I would also say that most Jill thinks that mountain is much bigger than it
is.
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: The other side of that mountain is a lot closer than you think it is.
Sharon: Right. The next mountain even though it might look higher is easier to
climb.
Glenn: Cool. That had to do with your first objection or concern is like how can you
turn these moments of inspiration into a full-fledged coaching relationship
that fosters ongoing change and solve problem. The next concern was
whether you had enough expertise to present yourself like this? Was that it?
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: When I was in college, before I was a professor, before I even had a
bachelors degree, I used to gather these groups of people who would have
paid me for this. They didn't but I could have charged for this in retrospect.
I would say, "Are you worried about passing the Chemistry test?Why don't
you come study with me for two days and I promise you, you'll pass it?" My
motivation for doing that was that I wanted to get an A. I knew that if I can
get them all to pass, that I was going to get an A.
Sharon: That makes perfect sense.
Glenn: Because they would have fired all the questions at me. I knew that I was
more expert than they were because I was going to get a B anyway. But I
knew that if I presented myself as the teacher without a degree, without
formally saying I'm a teacher or breaking any laws or anything like that, I
knew that they were going to get me an A. There was tremendous value in
me standing up and doing that. I didn't cheat them in any way. They were
happy that they had that. It benefitted everybody around. It was a win-win
relationship.
Sharon: It's cool.
8. [0:10:16.6]
Glenn: I forgot the organization that did the research but there's a large public
speaking organization that researched the various levels of expertise. They
came up with six different levels of expertise. What they found was that
most people think that before you got up and spoke about something, you
really had to have the utmost level of expertise but you don't really have to
do that. This is one of the reasons you're presenting yourself as a coach
and not a counselor, a coach and not a therapist, a coach and not a
psychiatrist is because you don't want that legal responsibility of saying, "I'm
going to do surgery on you. I want you to give me the responsibility of a
doctor."
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: No. Leave that for the doctors but you can be the guy who stands up and
calls and says, "Come on. Let's go study Chemistry. I'll teach you how to
do it. Don't worry. You're going to pass." Then, the next level of that is,
"Well, I did this for everybody last semester and now, I'm going to do it for
you this semester but you got to pay me", right?
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: There's nothing wrong with that. If you want to be the person that integrates
the knowledge and experience and comes up with a palatable way to
present it to people and wants to be paid for that value, God bless. That's
what our society is about. I think that that concern about not having the
right level of expertise, it's not misplaced but it's exaggerated. It's more of a
concern when there really needs to be.
Sharon: I, 100%, agree with you. There are areas of expertise that I've gotten in the
workforce and just by life experience that college didn't touch.
Glenn: Right.
Sharon: Just because you have a college degree or even a PhD doesn't mean that
you're an expert in this, that and the other thing.
Glenn: I got my PhD when I was 25 years old. At that time, I was doing couples
therapy. People would come in and look at me and say, "Well, what you do
know, you pimply-faced PhD?" [chuckle]
8
Sharon: You didn't have pimples.
9. Glenn: Well, as a metaphor. I would have a very young face. I had a baby face. I
used to try to color my beard a little bit gray and my hair a little bit gray so I'd
9
[0:11:58.0]
look a little bit older. I actually did know a lot that could help them but they
didn't quite trust me. But that's not really the point in this context. In this
context, the point is compare me at 25 years old as a pimply-faced PhD to
someone who's 55 years old, maybe has been through a divorce and now
has a satisfactory marriage, has worked on communication skills, has a lot
more experience in actual relationships, has raised some children.
There's a really good argument that that person was better than me at that
time even though I had more book knowledge. I had more supervision. But
I think that's a good argument that person was better than me at that time. I
think that one of the phrases I got from you, which I think is a really strong
motivation in coaching, is the desire to share and spare, to share your
experience and spare others the pain that you've been through in
accomplishing your own personal goals and your own personal journey. It's
really just a matter of harnessing that passion and being willing to package it
up in a way that's marketable and professionally deliverable to the public.
Sharon: Coaching is like mentoring in a very related kind of way. It's not just talking
at people. It's listening. It's using active listening skills and helping people
to get where they need to go on your specific thing. There are so many
different areas of coaching that we, as a couple, could use. Wouldn't it be
great if we could get coached by someone who really knows about
handyman-type stuff?
Glenn: Yeah. Managing the house, sure.
Sharon: Yeah. I mean there are things like we have a piece of rotten wood now on
the deck.
Glenn: Like a house maintenance coach. I was brought up by two psychologists.
You were brought up by two caterers. Neither one of us knows all that
much about what the heck to do with the house.
Sharon: Honestly, my dad would have known what to do but he didn't teach me that.
He taught my brothers that but not me.
Glenn: Right.
Sharon: I learned how to clean the house but I didn't learn how to even notice what
was wrong like if there was something crooked. Now, I might see
something but it might take me a while to notice it. Like, Helena pointed out
that rotten piece of wood outside and I was like, "What?"
10. [0:13:57.9]
Glenn: Jill.
Sharon: Yes.
Glenn: You seem really excited about all the different possibilities of coaching. I
thought you're supposed to talk to me about all your ambivalence and
whether it was really possible for you to be a coach.
Sharon: It's all about am I good enough? Do I really know what I'm talking about?
10
Can I charge for my experience?
Glenn: Okay. Let's take those.
Sharon: Okay.
Glenn: Am I good enough? I look at coaching as the willingness to pour your heart
and soul into creating an environment where another person can feel held
and listened to and focused on with expertise about a specific problem
towards a specific goal. There is a great deal of life energy that goes into
that. To me, the question for the coach isn't, "Am I good enough?" The
question is, "Is the client good enough for me? Is the client worthy of being
coached by me?"
Sharon: Wow. Because you put in so much time and effort and caring.
Glenn: There's only so many people you can coach. You're going to go through a
very intense experience with them when you do coach them. You're going
to give selflessly in many ways. The only compensation you get is financial
which is good. It's nice to be able to make a living doing what you want and
working from anywhere and all that. But in comparison to what you give
them, the compensation, it's really not enough.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Even if you're getting paid $400 a session, it's really…
Sharon: What went into that $400 was a lot.
Glenn: Right. Your heart and soul goes into that. The question to ask yourself is
not, "Am I good enough to do this?" but "If I'm willing to step up and
dedicate my life to this person for an hour, are they worthy?" I mean that
very, very seriously. I know that everybody is when they're approaching a
11. coaching practice, they're nervous. They don’t' really believe they're going
to be able to get clients. They don't really know how to market. They don't
11
[0:15:35.4]
like marketing, kind of seems like used sales car people to them. They think
of marketing as trickery. Coaches, generally, don't like to do the marketing
so they're really worried about getting clients. They can have some trouble.
But when you get really, really good at what you do, first of all, your clients
become your best marketers.
Sharon: Right. They refer.
Glenn: You'll develop some sneezers.
Sharon: Sneezers?
Glenn: That's a Seth Godin term from a book called The IdeaVirus where he said
what you want to do to introduce virality into a market is focused on the
sneezers. I don’t know if you remember when I was building my practice. I
saw lots of people. A lot of them were from paid advertising which I got very
good at but a lot of them were from a core group of maybe a half a dozen to
a dozen referrers. Like, there were clients you do really well with but they
want to keep it private and there are clients you do mediocre with who you
kind of wished would keep it private. Then, there are clients who you do
really well with, they just tell everyone. When you get those people, those
are the people you call sneezers and they…
Sharon: That's very cool.
Glenn: Right. The reason I'm saying that is from where you're sitting right now, Jill.
This might seem impossible to you to think that there's going to come a time
when you have too many clients knocking at your door and you have to
make choices. But if you work really hard at it and you embrace both the
coaching abilities and training and development that we teach. You
embrace the marketing side, that's one of our real points of difference is that
we have an extensive experience in both coaching and marketing. There
are a lot of people out there that'll talk to you about marketing. There are a
lot of people that'll talk to you about the abilities. There's not many people
who can really talk to you about both who've seen over 1000 clients and got
all this experience in business at the same time. It really is a more
important attitude to protect your practice, ask yourself is the client worthy of
working with you rather than are you worthy of working with the client.
Sharon: By focusing on that, it takes the pressure of, "Am I good enough?"
Glenn: That was one. Did you have any other questions on your paper?
12. [0:17:27.0]
Sharon: I have lots of questions on my paper.
Glenn: By the way, as a coach, it's all right if you have notes. It's okay if you wrote
down a couple of things to remember to ask people.
Sharon: I was wondering. How do I evaluate, me, Jill, what my strengths are and
then, the parts that I need to improve?
Glenn: Most of the people on this list will have taken a little test which is modestly
accurate. It's not the most scientifically, rigorous test that we've ever put
together but it's kind of aimed at getting you to do that. If you haven't taken
that, if you go to, becomearealcoach.com and then you go to the homepage
and click on, Take the test, you can get there and that will…
Sharon: becomearealcoach.com?
Glenn: becomearealcoach.com.
Sharon: Okay.
Glenn: Go to the homepage and click on the test and you'll get to the test. But
behind that question is half an answer because you must have some inkling
with regards to what you think your strengths and weaknesses are. The
real way you'll discover them is in the course of the training having the
opportunity to do practice sessions with master coach supervision available
to both of your strengths and help you compensate for your weaknesses.
But I think it would be more meaningful if you talk to me, Jill, about your
perception of your strengths and weaknesses.
Sharon: In terms of my strengths, I think that I am creative and intuitive. People
have been telling me that my whole life. I'm a good listener. I'm playful. I
think that's really important with kids. I'm willing to do something different if
it means sitting on the floor and throwing a ball back and forth, if it means
going for a walk, if it means dressing up silly. I'm willing to play. I'm willing
to meet them where they are, meet them at their level. I'm willing to sit in
the same chair with them or sit all the way across the room. I'm willing to
pretend we're talking on the phone to make you more comfortable, you
know, having to go sit on the other side and pick up the telephone,
imaginary telephone and let's talk on the phone. I think that that's the major
strength.
12
13. In terms of weakness, I think my biggest weakness is a lack of confidence.
I'm embarrassed to say that out loud because why shouldn't I have
confidence but I don't. I don't. I'm always afraid I'm not good enough.
[0:19:25.3]
Glenn: Right. Okay. Let's just talk about the weakness first. First of all, I prefer to
work with coaches who start out with a lack of confidence.
Sharon: Really?
Glenn: I do. Because it's easier to teach someone who's feeling insecure in the
beginning than someone who thinks they know everything already.
Sharon: Yeah. I'm not a know-it-all.
Glenn: One of the marks of a good coach is someone who's willing to tolerate those
uncomfortable feelings, feelings of insecurity, feelings of inadequacy. When
someone comes in and presents a problem to you, they're going to want a
solution instantaneously. It's only natural. Any human being in that
situation faced with someone representing a problem who wants an
instantaneous solution is going to feel inadequate because generally, there
aren't instantaneous solutions. Sometimes there are. One of the benefits of
choosing a niche in coaching is you come to know a particular problem very
well. You can instantaneously recognize what the solution is. But even in
that situation, you might not want to give them the solution instantaneously
because you’ll lose out on the opportunity to figure out how else you might
be able to help them. You won’t be able to engage in a deeper relationship
and help them with all the areas and all the goals they might want to
achieve because they don’t really know your abilities yet. When people
present to you, they’re going to want instantaneous relief. You’re going to
have to put them off a little bit. The feelings that go along with that are
feelings of inadequacy, at least at first.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Until you've done it a few dozen times and you see the results and you
know that by doing that you’re leading them to a better place than they
could have imagined and then you feel confident you have the knowledge
that you’re doing the right thing, the feelings can still be feelings of
inadequacy. It can still be uncomfortable.
Sharon: Right, right.
Glenn: It’s a good thing that you feel inadequate to start with. It’s normal.
13
14. Sharon: I think your point is so well taken that no matter what it is you’re coaching,
people come to you imagining that you’re going to solve it right away.
That’s the hard part to manage because you want to please them. You
14
[0:21:27.7]
want them to be happy. But sometimes they have to be unhappy for a while
in order to do what needs to be done.
Glenn: Right.
Sharon: Whatever that is. There really is no magic mommy or daddy. It’s different
than taking a course where you’re learning little things piece by piece and
then integrating it. Lots of times, when someone comes to you as a coach,
they just want to inhale it and exhale it once they got it.
Glenn: One of the things that bothers me about the way some of my competitors'
market is that they’ll tell you that their certification is really about getting the
right questions to ask. I think it’s good to know a number of questions and
structure. But if being a coach was only about knowing the right questions,
there are books you can buy for the Kindle for $2 that'll give you the right
questions.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: I really believe in my heart that being a coach is more about the person you
become and can you place yourself in the situation to be present with the
client. Take the pressure off yourself to perform while you’re having all
these thoughts and feelings and all the expectations and hopes and dreams
that the client is pouring in to you. How do you sort out those feelings from
your own internal insecurities and confidences and maybe over
confidences. If you have a head tragic, you might be, you’re dealing with. I
think that that’s what being a coach is much more about and that’s -- the
truth is the academy is much more about -- one of the reasons that we
provide so much free information is because I don’t really think that
becoming a great coach is so much about the information, it’s really much
more about the experience.
Sharon: And the relationship.
Glenn: And the relationship. I think Jill, like for you to really know that you can
become a coach, you kind of have to get in and have the practice sessions
and listen to and watch other people having practice sessions and see what
they struggle with and what they go through and see what it’s like to work
with their client for a free session, see what it’s like to work for a client for a -
- even a low paying session and how that’s different. Get the feedback from
the professionals and…
15. Sharon: Yeah, find out what you did well. Like what they would have liked to have
heard more of and maybe what they would have liked to have heard less of.
15
[0:23:33.9]
There’s so many wonderful ways of getting feedback that are confidence
building.
Glenn: The other thing is that the insecurities you’re talking about kind of fester in
an isolated environment.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: You’re sitting out there Jill and you’re wondering. “Am I good enough to be a
coach?” “Can I really do this?” “Do I have enough expertise?” The negative
voice inside of you has a chance to fester much more when you’re isolated
and alone. When you’re part of a community of people who are crossing
this threshold themselves and are dedicated to building confidence as
coaches themselves, now all of a sudden you have all these people to
support you. A lot of these people can become friends and peers really for
the rest of your life. It’s really miraculous what can happen.
Sharon: That’s part of the process that I really love that that happens, that’s Sharon
talking and Jill’s going, “Cool, very cool.”
Glenn: What else is Jill worried about?
Sharon: Well, how do I find out what I need to improve?
Glenn: By doing, by practicing in front of other people and getting feedback, by
soul-searching, by thinking about the conversations that you’ve had which
had been successful, where you’ve seen results in other people and the
conversations which didn’t go the way that you wanted to, by journaling
about that and thinking what went well and what didn’t. That’s how you do
it.
Sharon: I love my wackademics name. Why would parents choose me for their kids
instead of somebody else?
Glenn: Well, there are many reasons that would happen. One is if you had
amassed more proof of solving that particular problem than anyone else
and client started talking to you about it. Some of the ways you do that is
we teach you how to develop a workshop that you give at community
centers or hospitals or churches or schools or adult education centers. You
kind of get out and you demonstrate it and you -- nowadays, taking a little
video is not a big deal at all. Now they have all these videos of you in
16. action. After these free workshops, you have one of your friends interview
all the participants about how did it go and they follow up in the interview
and about the results. Now you’ve got more proof than anybody else does.
16
[0:25:32.9]
Then we work on studying the market language. There are all these
opportunities on the Internet now to observe market language for free,
Twitter and Facebook.
Sharon: To help people talk about their need and…
Glenn: So you’ll know the language of the problems in this market more so than
anybody else if you’ve taken the time to study more than anybody else.
You’ll get on a mission. We'll tell you how to get the word out. We’ll teach
you how to market, that’s how. Proof is a big deal. Gathering real people
that you’ve done demonstrations with who report back with the results is a
really big deal. You upload them all to You Tube or you can send people
over to that to see what you’ve done. That’s kind of a really big deal.
Sharon: You know, I was just thinking as you’re talking that there are some really
cool movies that show like, you know, wacky adults helping kids to get over
their fear of performance on tests and stuff with wacky interventions.
Glenn: I think what you’re talking about is an extraordinary marketable coaching
niche. I hope someone doesn’t steal it from you. It actually doesn’t really
matter if they do because there’s…
Sharon: Because I’m Jill, I’m imaginary.
Glenn: Well, because you’re Jill and you’re imaginary. That’s funny. Because
there’s room for a few dozen people that do this kind of thing. But I think
that you could stage press events where you…
Sharon: For wacademia?
Glenn: For wacademia, yeah.
Sharon: I love wacademia.
Glenn: When pervasive problem that parents are having trouble with their kid with
grades, they feel crazy because of it. It seems like traditional interventions
are not working. I think you’ve actually got a natural carved out niche there
for yourself. People by the way shouldn’t worry at all if any of the marketing
that we’re talking about doesn’t make sense. We’re really kind of jumping
17. to the end of the ladder. In the academy, we have to take you through it
step by step so you build it up slowly.
Sharon: Right.
[0:27:17.4]
Glenn: That’s how we will teach you how to market. We will build the story for you
17
that put you front and center.
Sharon: I feel better already. I'm not even real. Oh my God. How did that
happen?
Glenn: Is there anything else you’re concerned about, Jill?
Sharon: What can I authentically promise these people with my wacademia?
Glenn: Well that, we'll have to do with the typical result that you achieve. There’s a
legal answer to that, there’s an ethical answer to that and there’s a
marketing answer to that.
Sharon: What about ethically? That’s what I’m most concerned about.
Glenn: Ethically you can promise what you can deliver.
Sharon: I can promise that their kids will have a fun experience and be less anxious
when they have to take tests.
Glenn: Okay. I think you could promise that for sure. If I were your marketing
coach, I would push you further than that.
Sharon: Okay.
Glenn: I believe that consumers don’t want to know that they got A good solution. I
believe that consumers want to know they got the best solution. I believe
the consumers are exceptionally nervous with regards to parting with their
money, coaching clients in this case. I believe that our willingness to
guarantee, the strongest promise you can make without lying really sets
coaches apart in the market and makes it possible for them to…
Sharon: I guarantee that your kid is going to enjoy learning more.
Glenn: In this case, after you had done a number of sessions and you had some
proofs, so you have to get to the point that Jill feel confident that all you
need to do is get the people in the program and you’re going to get them
results. Once you really have that believed that if they just come in and do
this that they’re going to get results or at least 80% of them are, then I
18. would actually push you to guarantee them better grades or their money
back. I would. That’s very controversial for coaches. You’re not really
suppose to you know, if you look at some of the more standard
organization, you are not supposed to guarantee that.
18
[0:29:05.6]
I can’t tell the people listening to do that for sure because I don’t know
specifically what they’re promoting. I don’t know what results they’re
getting. But once you’re getting results, guaranteeing to get people’s
money back if they don’t get those results is a win-win for everyone. The
reason for that is you’ll probably get two or three times as many clients to
come in. You will have people that rip you off. You’ll have some people
you have to give their money back to. But at the end of the day, you get so
much more experience, you get so many more people on your practice.
Your practice fills with people that you’re actually getting results for so much
more quickly. I think it’s only fair if you’re not really getting the results for
people that you give them their money back. I would actually push you to
guarantee the parents that their kids are going to get better grades or their
money back. Once you really know that the system worked. Now, I know
most coaches are not going to take me up on that.
Sharon: I could guarantee less whining during study time.
Glenn: We’re getting into marketing a little more. I want to teach you now but let
me just say one more thing about this.
Sharon: Sure.
Glenn: The guarantee is a matter of who takes the risk. When you don’t guarantee
those results…
Sharon: They’re taking the risk.
Glenn: You're saying, “I want you to risk your money and your time on me. I’m
really, really good but I’m going to get your money anyway. It doesn’t matter
if you get the results or not."
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Saying you’re willing to guarantee the results makes you more emphatic. It
makes a stronger connection with the prospect. You have to think it
through very, very carefully and nobody can take these risks but you. I
don’t want anybody coming back to me and say, “I guaranteed this and this
happened blah blah blah", because there’s a lot of diagnostics that have to
go on before you do that. But it’s the ultimate way of being emphatic with
your prospect because when you get to the point that you know your
19. process so well and you’re able -- you’re so confident the results you can
get, then you don’t want to put any barriers whatsoever between the right
people getting into your program. You can put conditions on it. You can
say, “As long as you do 75…”
[0:30:54.2]
Sharon: The ten steps that I told you to.
Glenn: Yeah. Then it’s absolutely guaranteed. You can do that. It’s a little less
strong than guaranteeing it no matter what but sometimes you have to do
that.
Sharon: No matter what business you’re in, and we know this from being in business
for 25 years, there are some people out there who will take advantage but
not that many, not that many.
Glenn: Let’s say there’s a sugar addiction coach, think about the sugar addiction
coach that comes to you and says, “I promise to end your sugar addiction in
30 days or less in three easy steps or your money back.”
Sharon: As long as they follow the steps.
Glenn: As long as you follow these steps.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: As compared to a sugar addiction coach that says, “I’m a really great sugar
addiction coach because all these people that I helped, you can watch them
on You Tube, why don’t you come and give me a try.” Which one do you
think has more clients?
Sharon: Absolutely, the one who guaranteed it.
Glenn: Which one do you think is more financially successful?
Sharon: The one who guaranteed it, makes sense. Because it shows confidence.
That was the one of the things I came to you for. I said I didn’t have
confidence.
Glenn: Yeah.
Sharon: You have to demonstrate confidence to feel the confidence.
Glenn: That’s right.
19
20. Sharon: I hadn’t thought of it that way before. I learned something every time we do
an interview, you know that? I honestly do.
Glenn: You’re not even real.
[0:31:54.2]
Sharon: Well, Sharon learned it.
Glenn: Sharon learned it, not Jill.
Sharon: But Jill learned it too.
Glenn: Does Jill have any other concerns?
Sharon: Did Jill have any other concerns, how long should I coach someone for?
Glenn: The short answer is until they achieve what they set out to achieve.
Possibly longer if they want to if that's their desire and they have other
goals they want to achieve. A longer answer is that I think most coaches
these days make the mistake of trying to get clients into long term coaching
too quickly.
Sharon: I got it.
Glenn: I think people should be a lot more careful. In the early days, they were
eager to have clients and they were eager to have the economics in their
business. They will sign them up for monthly program after one session or
maybe they'll sign them up at a workshop for a monthly program. It might
be better for your economics but it doesn’t give you the opportunity to really
assess the client and assess the fit.
Sharon: What would you do? You start them out with a consultation and maybe a
couple of sessions and then decide what to do after that?
Glenn: I usually do consultation by consultation for a while especially if it’s a non-urgent
coaching problem. I like to do consultation by consultation for a
month or two until I’m really sure that I have a good relationship with the
client that I know that I can help them.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: I think it’s a really big responsibility of a coach to assess whether they can
help this particular client before they start taking them into a regular
relationship.
20
21. Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Once you have the client in a regular relationship, there’s a whole set of
feelings and expectations that grow and intimacy that’s harder to disconnect
from than it is if you’re having irregular consultations upfront.
[0:33:25.2]
Sharon: Got it.
Glenn: Like if you’ve had two or three get-to-know-you assessment interviews
upfront and you need to say, “Well, you know what? I don’t really have the
expertise to help you with what you’re talking about. I like to refer you to
this person." Or maybe the person is a little -- they’re not really coachable
yet, maybe they’re struggling with something deeper that requires a
therapist or…
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Maybe they additionally requires a therapist and you don’t know -- you can
work as a coach and there can also be a therapist. The therapist has to
know about it.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: The client has to know that. You’re requiring the therapy as part of the…
Sharon: The coaching.
Glenn: So that they know that the coaching is not psychotherapy.
Sharon: Right, that makes sense.
Glenn: There’re a lot of other disclosures and things we can talk about in the
academy. But the session by session get-to-know-you slowly routine gives
you the opportunity to really mold your practice exactly the way you want it
to be. Because before you know it, you wind up filled up.
Sharon: There’s nothing worse than having to work with a group of people that drain
all your energy and make you feel bad.
Glenn: Because here's what most clients do. They’re horrific clients. They’re
hungry to make money. They take on anybody that knocks on the door.
Sharon: Not most clients but most coaches.
21
22. Glenn: Most coaches, they take anybody that knocks on the door, they get them at
a regular sessions really quickly…
22
Sharon: Then they’re stuck with them.
[0:34:29.7]
Glenn: Then before they know it, they’ve got a practice full of people that aren’t
really making progress. It’s a little depressing to get up and meet with
people hour after hour who are not making progress.
Sharon: Right.
Glenn: Then you burn out you say, “Well, coaching doesn’t really work or you can’t
really make a living at it.” But you haven’t really committed to that initial
foundation.
Sharon: You haven’t had the experience of a fresh start with someone you’d like
better.
Glenn: Right.
Sharon: It’s almost like people go around with a group of acquaintances that they
call friends and don’t recognize that they could have a good friend.
Glenn: Yeah, with the good interfere with the great. Or the mediocre interfere with
the good.
Sharon: Yeah, exactly.
Glenn: Any other fears, Jill or have we convinced you?
Sharon: I’m feeling a lot better. I’m definitely feeling a lot better. I appreciate it.
Glenn: It was very nice to meet you.
Sharon: Yeah, you too.
Glenn: Sharon, thank you very much.
Sharon: Thank you, Glenn.
Glenn: Bye.
Sharon: Bye.
23. 23
[00:35:19]
In just 12 weeks, you can become a certified professional coach, confident
in your ability and fully equipped to grow a thriving practice from anywhere
or your money back. My name is Dr. Glenn Livingston. I'd like to talk you
for a few minutes about taking your coaching dreams a lot more seriously,
about getting the right certification and training, and about developing the
confidence to deliver stellar results time after time so your clients will
accomplish their goals, others will notice and get referred back to you.
I hope you will forgive my honesty when we talk because my wife and I have
more combined experience in both coaching and business development in
virtually any other program on the market. I've personally worked with over
a thousand clients and supervised dozens of coaches and therapists.
Sharon had literally thousands of groups and team building workshops and
particularly sold more than $20,000,000 in consulting. We’ve had a
previous work research and theories covered in major media like the New
York Times, The Los Angeles Times, The Chicago Sun-Times, ABC and
CBS radio, TheWall Street Journal, New York Daily News and many more.
We have the confidence in our ability to train and certify you as a coach and
give you the know-how to build the practice of your dreams. In fact, we're
so confident we're willing to guarantee it right through the end of the very
last class. If you don’t feel our training was your best choice for any reason,
just show us you attended at least three-quarters of the classes and did at
least 75% of the assignments, we will refund every penny that you paid.
When you compare our experience, guarantee and more affordable than
most pricing, we think your choice will be clear. But if you're like most
coaches, you're probably a little skeptical, maybe a lot. You see a lot of
limitations and obstacles. I'd like to talk about them with you because of
them are self-imposed.
For example, you might think it's not really possible to earn a living as a
professional coach, maybe you think there's too much competition. But did
you know that as of this recording, there were only about 20,000 active
coaches in North America? That’s less than one coach for every 15,000
people. Of course, not every one of those 15,000 people is in the market for
a coach.
Coaching is become ever more acceptable and interesting thanks to reality
shows like The Biggest Loser, The Voice, dancing shows, singing shows,
etcetera, etcetera. Every one of the contestants gets a coach and the
audience gets to see the value first hand as they progress.
24. More importantly, most coaches ignore the immense value of niching.
There’s literally hundreds of coaching niches to choose from. When you do
niche, you dramatically lower your competition and raise your odds of
success. For example, where there maybe 20,000 active coaches overall in
North America, how many adoption coaches do you think there are?What
about coaches specialized in chocolate addiction? By the way, I could use
one of those. Family business, academic achievement. You don’t have to
marry any of these niches either. You just try one on for size, learn the
skills and transfer them to whatever suits your fancy later on.
Here’s another self-imposed limitation. Many people think it simply not
possible to earn a living as a coach or you can visit becomearealcoach.com
to see details that suggests the average active coach earns about $55,000
per year. Of course, there are coaches who make a lot more and coaches
who make a lot less. It would be unreasonable to assume just getting
certified will automatically give you this income. Your income as a coach
will depend upon many things including the niche you choose.
For example, working with affluent couples to help them adopt is likely to be
more lucrative than helping disable veterans adjust to life at home. Not
anymore meaningful, fulfilling or soulful but definitely more profitable. The
environment you work in will also influence your income, private practice
versus a salaried employee, etcetera. The number of hours you choose to
fill, nobody says you have to work fulltime. The fees that you're comfortable
charging, there are a lot of coaches out there that don’t want to charge as
much as they really could charge. The business model that you choose, in
other words, individual coaching versus selling books, tapes, seminars,
groups and events from leverage and passive income. The seriousness of
the problem that you specialized in, how desperate are your clients to solve
it, how meaningful and valuable is the solution.
For example, it's easier to earn more as an adoption coach than a yoga
coach for this very reason. Your income also depends upon how much
effort you put into attracting clients. But most importantly, in our experience,
your income is related to your coaching confidence and ability to produce
stellar results for your clients. Or maybe the obstacle stopping you from
taking your coaching dreams to the next level is wondering whether you
need a professional background in therapy or counseling - but you don’t
because coaching isn’t therapy. You won’t get involved in diagnosing,
treating, or curing any type of mental illness. We'll teach you how to clearly
draw the line and skillfully refer clients who require a license professional.
When in doubt, refer it out, is our motto.
Coincidentally, many of these professionals who you refer to can become a
good resource referrals back into your network. Maybe you're not sure if
you're worthy of coaching. Maybe you think you don’t have enough
24
25. experience or you just not credible enough to coach people professionally or
that you don’t have the expertise. When people tell me this, I tell them that
they're asking the wrong question. See, if you're willing to put your heart
and soul into helping someone, if you're willing to give them your undivided
attention on a regular or semi-regular basis until they reach their goal, if
you're willing to make them a priority in your life in exchange for a
reasonable payment then the real question is, you should be asking, “Are
these clients worthy of me?” Because you see, you've only got a limited
amount of time, energy and love to give these people so you've got to
protect your practice. The real question is, “Are they worthy of you?"
Maybe you don’t think you have the time to become a certified professional
coach but if you can make four or five hours a week which is under an hour
a day for just a few months, you can definitely become a certified
professional coach in our program. There are many, many ways to start a
coaching practice on a part-time schedule. We know most coaches have
very busy lives even before they begin. Because we actually like coaches
who are out there living real lives, we work hard to accommodate them.
Coaching is more about the experience and the desire to share and spare
than it is about book of knowledge.
Maybe you think you can’t afford it. But our program is much more
affordable than most of the live interactive certification programs. We've got
financing options to suit any budget. Besides, coaching is one of the least
expensive businesses to start because you can work with people all over
the world via telephone, Skype and the Internet. There's really no need for
office space, rent or other overhead. We'll show how to make a safe
transition plan so you can carefully plan your move from another job with a
great deal of confidence when the time is right. Because you are the
product, this is another reason why coaching is easier to get into and less
expensive because you are the product. Many of the traditional costs
associated with starting a business like inventory or research and
development, production cost, they just simply disappear. At the risk of
appearing self-serving, a better question then, can you really afford to do
this is, can you really afford not to do?
Finally, perhaps you think you’re going to be a great coach but you're too
allergic to marketing to do anything about it. If you feel this way, it’s likely
because you've been taught the wrong things about marketing. You're
probably thinking of used car salesman, cold calling, constant rejection and
constant lies. Nobody's taking the time to find out what marketing methods
really suit your personality. Remember, Sharon and I have more combined
experience in both coaching and business development and virtually any
other certification program on the market. That means we’ve got the
flexibility to help virtually any coach who wants it bad enough.
25
26. You can check out our website at becomearealcoach.com for more details
about our personal biographies. But for now, just trust me when I say if you
don’t like public speaking, there's no problem. If you hate making cold calls,
there's no problem. If you can’t even stand the idea of making a website,
there's no problem because we'll show how to market in a way that’s
comfortable for you.
Now, by this point, you may actually be wondering what happens in the
certification program itself. Again, you can visit becomearealcoach.com to
read the details but in a nutshell, our program is largely about the
experience of being a coach and not the academic.
Each week, you'll meet live with your instructor and your peers and have the
experience of practicing that week's coaching or business development
lesson with everybody in the group. You'll get detailed feedback from your
master coach instructor. You'll get additional feedback from your peers.
Here's an important benefit most people don’t think of. You'll get a chance
to observe and learn from the other coaches in training. Then after each
event, you'll download a brief set of materials which prepare for you for the
following week and include an action challenge.
In short, first, you practice with your peers then you watch, read or listen to
what's described, what you just experienced. Finally, you do it on your own
outside of class so you can integrate the learning, practice, study then do.
It’s really that simple in less than an hour a day. There’s a quite a bit more
to know, so you want to visit becomearealcoach.com as soon as you can
but the most important thing to remember is that in just 12 weeks, you really
can become a certified professional coach, confident in your ability and fully
equipped to grow a thriving practice from anywhere or your money back.
Head on over to www.becomearealcoach.com now. Classes fill quickly so
please book your slot today if you're at all interested. Thanks!
In Just 12 Weeks You Can Become a Certified Professional
Coach, Confident in Your Ability, and Fully Equipped to Grow a
Thriving Practice from Anywhere, or Your Money Back!
Because the ICCA certification program was developed by over the course of more than 24 years with
literally thousands of clients, we're convinced it will give you MORE skills and confidence to start a
successful practice than any other program on the market. By the time you've earned your credentials
we know you'll be secure in your ability to work with clients, produce results, and to build a thriving
practice...
Therefore, if you feel it wasn't the BEST CHOICE for your training and certification for any reason—
right up until the last day of class—just show us you've actually completed 75% of the assignments and
let us know you'd like your money back.We'll promptly return every penny!
26
