Relationships Find Peace After a Bad Relationship

Copyright © Elsabe Smit 2010 www.TheIntuitionCoach.com

Relationships: Find Peace After a Bad Relationship

By Elsabe Smit, Author of
It’s Over! Move On And Feel Good About Yourself

Are you in a violent, controlling, co-dependent or abusive relationship, or recovering
from such a relationship? Read this story and discover that it is possible to get your life
back.

“Do you really love him?” she asked.
“Yes, Mom, I do.”
“How do you know that? How can you be so sure?”
“I just know. He makes me feel . . . you know?”
“No, I don’t. That's why I am asking. You cry about him so often.”

She shrugged her shoulders. “OK, I admit, at times I feel exasperated and
I want to shake him, because I can't always predict his behaviour, but
that's part of what I love about him. He's unpredictable.”

Anna frowned and looked away. She remembered her own first love, many
years ago. She could still feel the glow, but she also remembered that it
was always followed by a dull thud in her stomach. It just wasn't right. And
now the pattern is repeating with her lovely daughter. It just wasn't right,
and she felt so powerless.

“My darling ,think carefully about this, then do what is right for you. I want
to see you happy.”

“Thanks, Mom,” the girl responded and gave her mother a hug. She was
still a girl, a very naïve twenty-two years young.

Anna’s eyes shot full of tears, but she turned her head away and occupied
herself with some flowers.

“I’m off. See you later,” the girl called and the front door slammed.

While Anna was arranging the flowers, her mind wandered again to a time
long ago when she was also naïve.



First there were just looks, and both pretended not to see the other. Then
they started exchanging notes. Anna remembered how difficult it was to
write those notes, and she smiled. How she agonized over the words! What
to write, what not to write, and rewriting it again and again.

Then, those first tentative, tender touches. How did it grow from such
innocence into such unbearable agony? Many scenes flashed before her
eyes. She had sat up late, waiting. If she had gone to sleep, there would
be a scene because she wasn't waiting and therefore not caring. If she
waited, there would be a scene because she was waiting and not trusting.
Until one night when she waited. And waited. She waited until the day
broke, and she was still awake when there was a knock on the door.

She welcomed the knock. At least the knock meant strangers. No scene.
No recriminations. No violence. Just news.

Not good news. How could it be good news to hear you will now be alone?

Not bad news. How could it be bad news to know the violence had
stopped?

Just news. Dull news.

People moving in and out of her vision. People saying words they didn't
mean, because they didn't know what they meant, and therefore couldn't
say it. People bringing food. People patting her little girl’s head. People
who told her how she felt. Then they moved on and she was left alone.

Left to pay the bills. To answer questions. To roll around at night and ask
why, why, why. To see others through new eyes.

People started to look different. There were the innocents. Those who had
the glow of youth and happiness.

There were the wounded. Like her. Comparing scabs. Exchanging stories.
Wearing their experiences like badges. For a while she had her own badge.
Widow. Or rather, widow with no regrets.


Slowly, over time, she got tired of defining herself like this. That was when
she started to see the light people. People who no longer wore badges.
They were shining, as if from an inner light. She started listening to what
they said.

They said the same as those who wore the badges. Move on. Build a new
life. Stop looking back. Find peace within yourself.

Anna realized that yes, they said the same things, but the light people also
had an inner conviction. She only heard it then, when she was ready to
listen.

Anna wanted the same peace. She struggled. She could no longer speak to
the badge wearers. She had broken ranks. They had nothing more to say
to her.

She wanted so much to be a light person. Such agony, because she could
not succeed. There was always something going wrong to disturb her. The
peace was elusive for a long time. All that time she spent in no-man's land.
Somewhere between the badge wearers and the light people.

Until one day when her daughter made a comment and she realized that
she had become a light person. The realization flooded her with happiness.
And an indescribable peace. A peace that cannot be disturbed.

Anna stood back and looked at the flower arrangement. Beautiful. Like
God. She thought about her daughter again. Her beautiful, innocent
daughter. Slowly the thought formed that her daughter is earning her own
badge. Anna could see it happening as if in slow motion. She could see her
daughter’s happiness turn into sorrow, and she realized how powerless she
was to prevent it.

Anna also realized that her daughter, like her, would earn her badge, shed
it, and find her own peace. This brought a sad smile to her lips. She felt
her own peace again.

Anna decided not to wait up for her daughter, but to rather treat herself


with a good book. Her turn to wait up for her daughter would come, and
she would be ready with her Light.

If you are struggling to put a violent relationship behind you, click on the
links below to obtain your

FREE e-book How Do I Get Out Of This Relationship? worth £6.97

AND

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Do you want to put a destructive relationship behind you and get on with
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It’s Over! Move On And Feel Good About Yourself.


Relationships Find Peace After a Bad Relationship

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