it's all about anger management, how to keep your cool, importance of proper communication

1. How to keep your cool… Importance of proper communication Dr. BabanDolas, M.S. Nityaseva Hospital & Global Vision Eye Bank, Pune.

2. Words are windowsor They are wall…choice is yours…

3. Principles of Effective Communication

4. 2 most important ingredients of communication ‘I’ ‘YOU’

5. Effective communication is a process of Creating bridge between ‘I’ and ‘You” Creating understanding Creating connection Creating a safe space to express oneself and receive others Creating a WIN-WIN relationship.

6. Communication is about creating a WIN-WIN relationship

7. We all want WIN-WIN relationship. Then WHY… We have conflicts We feel upset We feel annoyed We feel angry. We feel disconnected with each other

8. Obstacles to Effective Communication Judgments Right / Wrong / Good / Bad Blame and Fault Opinions Evaluation Criticism Labels Demand and Threat

9. DO NOT JUDGE, AND YOU WILL NOT BE JUDGED. FOR AS YOU JUDGE OTHERS, SO YOU WILL YOURSELVES BE JUDGED…. HOLY BIBLE, MATTHEW 7:1

10. Judging, blaming and criticizing are HABITS

11. Moving beyond these HABITS

12. Beyond ‘Right’ and ‘Wrong’ there is a field I will meet you there… -Rumi

13. What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And Conversely, What allows some people to stay Connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?

14. 4 Principles of Effective Communication

16. Principle one- OBSERVATION Observing without judging is the highest form of human intelligence. -J Kirshnamurthy Indian Philosopher OBSERVATION’s are: Facts What you see What you hear Expressing and receiving without judging and blaming.

17. Principle two- Feelings Connecting with the feeling of self and others. Feelings are emotions Bodily sensations Example: Angry, upset, lonely, low, guilty, fearful, sad Happy, excited, joy, satisfied, inspired

18. Principle three- Needs Connecting with the universal needs. Example; Respect, support, care, understanding, to be heard, truth, help, confidence, gentleness, Harmony, togetherness, unity. Our feeling arise due to our met or unmet needs.

19. Principle four- Request In order to fulfill your unmet needs we make a request. Request is an action which will fulfill your need. One concrete step which will help you move your relationship forward.

20. Fortunate is the oneWho has learned to admire,But not to envy..

21. Never miss the opportunity to compliment or say something encouraging to someone

22. Refuse to talk negatively about others; don't gossip and don't listen to gossip

23. Have a forgiving view of people. Believe that most people are doing the best they can

24. Keep an open mind; discuss, but don't argue. (It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable.)

25. If someone criticizes you, see if there is any TRUTH to what he is saying; if so, make changes. If there is no truth to the criticism, ignore it and live so that no one will believe the negative remark

26. Cultivate your sense of humor; laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Do not seek so much to be consoled, as to console; do not seek so much to be understood, as to understand; do not seek so much to be loved as to love

27. “ What I want in my Life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the Heart.” - MBR

28. Tolerance empowers us to not let irritating circumstances steal our peace of mind. Lack of tolerance makes us a victim of our circumstances – VERY difficult to practice........ but practice makes "it" perfect !!

29. “KINDNESS IS A LANGUAGE, WE ALL UNDERSTAND… EVEN THE BLIND CAN SEE AND DEAF CAN HEAR.”

31. From today Let’s follow DIVINE DIET….. “Zero on Bitterness, Add on Patience, Less on Worry, More on Hope , Slow on Anger & Fast on Forgiveness.”

32. THANKS…… ANIRUDDHA….A certified NVC trainer Who taught me NVC & helped me to make this presentation References: Nonviolent Communication, A Language of Compassion Marshal B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. For further details: www.cnvc.org www.invci.org www.nvcindia.org