Welcome to Fresh Off the Synapse! My weekly wrap up of my favorite jokes and commentary! Sometimes the jokes write themselves and when they don't I do. @LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

1. February 10-14, 2014

2. Inspired by Michael Sam,
I would like to come out as an
educated, heterosexual
black woman.
We're not very popular
but please be tolerant.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

3. A new biography
is being written about
NJ Governor Chris Christie. Will it
be called Bridge Over Troubled
Water?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

4. Former iconic child star,
Shirley Temple, has died at 85;
reminding us that
Honey Boo Boo has been
a very poor substitute.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

5. Happy Darwin Day!
Let's try not to
embarrass our species.
Oh wait … too late.
#earnyourthumbs
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

6. Comcast will acquire
Time Warner Cable in $45B deal.
Bottom line: is this going to
make it easier or harder
to steal cable?
(I’m asking for a friend.)
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

7. McDonald's restaurants in Florida
are taking Valentine's Day
dinner reservations
for table service.
Because side chicks need love too?
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com

8. The LA Times reports
that Stocks lift 401(k)s,
but many Americans are still
unprepared for retirement.
We’re unprepared for Tuesday.
Fresh Off the Synapse
@LeighannLord || VeryFunnyLady.com