2. WEDDINGS
Weddings are of enormous cultural significant in
the Kingdom of Tonga. A traditional Tongan
wedding is a major family event. A wedding
ceremony lasts at least 3 days and comprises
many steps both leading to the event and after.
For the Chinese people, the purpose of
marriage is to continue the ancestral line and to
create alliances between two families. There are
certainly a lot of rituals.
4. 1. FRIENDSHIP/COURTSHIP
(FAI KAUME’A) 求爱
This is the first step. When a young man meets a girl he
likes, he will take a chance in asking her for friendship. If
the girl accepts, a relationship is started. Usually most of
them met at “faikava” where the girl served as a “tou’a”.
CHINESE : In contrast, the Chinese people, women were
not allowed to choose the person they married. Instead,
the family of the bride picked the prospective husband.
Marriages were chosen based upon the needs of
reproduction and honor, as well as the need of the father
and husband.
5. 1. DATING
(‘A’A) 约会
The guy must always go to the girl’s home and ask
permission from her parent to talk in her house. If the
parents agree, the couple may chat inside the girl’s
house. To develop up their relationship, this stage is very
important.
CHINESE : they don’t experience this process. There is no
such thing as “dating”.
6. 1. PROPOSAl (FAITOHI) 求婚
At this stage they got to know each other very well and
the man has to make his proposal to the girl’s dad or her
uncle which is known as the ‘Ulumotu’a – the Head of the
Extended Family. If it is accepted then the two families
will decide on the date of the wedding. Then each family
will start preparing for that day.
7. CHINESE : this is the first stage of the process. The important
parties in this process were the parents of the prospective
bride and groom, rather than the pride and groom
themselves.
When the boy’s parents identified a likely bride-to-be, they
would send the matchmaker to present gifts to the girl’s
parents and to sound out their feelings about the match. If
the proposal was well-received, the matchmaker would
obtain the date and hour of the girl’s birth recorded, which
have to go through a ritual, also the boy’s. Only after both
outcomes were favorable, would the two families arrange
to meet. Finally face-to-face, each family evaluated the
other in terms of appearance, education, character, and
social position. If both were satisfied they would proceed on.
8. • CElEBRATION BEFORE THE WEDDING
(FAKAlElEA)
To show happiness of two families uniting, they have to
celebrate on the night before the wedding on the next day.
The groom’s family will take gifts such as ngatu (tapa), kie
(fine mats) and food to the bride’s home to show that they
are happy with the impending marriage. A kava party will
be held as well as women’s dancing exchanging of goods
between the two families.
9. BETROTHAl
CHINESE : The boy’s family presented betrothal gifts of
money and significant items such as tea, bridal cakes, pairs
of male and female poultry, sweetmeats and sugar, wine
and tobacco, accompanied by an itemized statement of
these gifts.
The boy’s family gifts acknowledged the parents’ efforts in
raising the girl, and by accepting the gifts, the girl’s family
pledged her to the boy’s. In which the bride was given to
the family rather than the groom alone.
10. WEDDING DAy (‘AHO MAlI) 婚礼
On the day of the ceremony, the bride and groom “wear their wealth.”
They are wrapped in their best ta’ovala or mats, their bodies shine
with precious oils and they wear flower necklaces.
The groom will come to the bride’s house and escort her to the
wedding place. There they will make oath to love, respect and obey
each other and sign their marriage certificate. Usually a Registrar will
be present to witness the signing of the certificate. From there the
couple will then attend a church ceremony to seal their marriage
before God. No wedding in the Kingdom of Tonga is LEGAL until the
couple are married by both the government and the church.
Dancing and Feasting will follow after the wedding ceremony. A kava
ceremony will also be held to honor the bride and groom. The wedding
day is the only time that a woman is honored at a kava ritual where
she is allowed to sit in the place of honor.
12. CHINESE : Wedding Ceremony consists of many elaborate
parts;
Wedding Procession : The wedding procession from the bride’s home to
the groom’s home consists of a traditional band, the bride’s sedan, and
the bride’s dowry in the forms other than money.
Welcoming the Bride : The wedding procession of the bride’s family stops
at the door of the groom’s home. There are ceremonies to be followed to
welcome the bride and her wedding procession in to the groom’s home.
Actual Wedding Ceremonies : Exchanging vows, the couple would pay
respect to the Jade Emperor, the family deities, paying respect to
deceased ancestors, the bride and groom’s parents and other elders, and
paying respect to each other.
Wedding Banquet : there are few ceremonies such as bride presenting
wines or tea to parents, spouse, and guests.
13.
14. WEDDING NIGHT
The first night for the newly wed to sleep together, high-
born women were expected to ‘demonstrate’ their virginity
by bleeding heavily on their wedding night. The groom’s
aunts would display the stained white sheet, after bathing
the bride. The groom’s family will express their enthusiasm
and appreciation by hosting another banquet to honor the
bride, who never knew no other man.
15. CHINESE : The bride had to get ready for the next day, in
which she should wake up early to honor her ancestors. On
this day. The bride is formally introduced to the groom’s
family, relatives and friends. Older relatives will be giving
her small tokens.
After three days of the wedding the bride will visit her
family where she is welcomed and received as a guest. A
whole “roast pig with tail” is given to the bride’s family to
declared that she was a virgin before marriage.
16. FIRST SUNDAy
Then finally, on the first Sunday after their wedding, the
couple will attend church and will again wear their best
“ta’ovala.” Feasting will follow after the service when both
families will celebrate for the last time.
