For RMT users only

1. Michael’s theory on love/lust

2. Intro
While watching the dvd “Laugh your way to a better marriage” By Mark Gungor I
happened to notice some key principles that kept on ‘haunting’ me.
These principles were on how the origin of a relationship will determine what the rest of
the relationship would be about. Though I originally heard the idea off a fellow RMT
member, I happened to get really curious when it was mentioned in a marriage seminar.
So I delved into my mind and looked for answers, using RMT principles to help me back it
up. I would love feed back since I have ZERO experience of being in a relationship and all
of this would be based of theory notes and observation.

3. What is love?
No, not the song from Haddaway, I mean what is real love? The deepest of deep love?
The love that is written of in books and even in the bible. When I talk about it to Gen Y
they describe being attracted to a person. When I talk about it to a baby boomer, they talk
of an eternal love. When I talk about it to a middle aged single person they say it doesn’t
exist...
After some deep thought I have composed a model of love, which may be wrong or it may
have some serious truth behind it. The model is based on what people in a relationship or
what they think it is all about.

4. The Model
Physical
Emotional
Spiritual

5. It may look simple but hang in there... I’ll explain it

6. Physical
Many people who fall in love, were often “physically attracted” to each
other, hormones are released and oxytocin flows especially after sex. I tend to think of
this as the biological urge to mate, where people are attracted by tell tale signs of
fertility such as health and vitality, large breasts, and big hips in woman and large
muscles, ability to fight, health and vitality as well as height in men.
It is quite powerful as it is wired into our brains to look for these things in our
potential “mates”.

7. Emotional
This aspect of love has more to do with fulfilling each others six human needs rather than
anything physical. The more needs each partner associates to each other the more
connected they will be. Though some emotional qualities are favoured and these are
nurture, vulnerability, sensitivity, and caring in females. While in males it is social
dominance, competitive, authority, and leadership.

8. Spiritual
This is my grey area, though a few notes on it would be, that this kind of love is eternal.
Where men become worshippers of the feminine spirit and seek to protect it, and woman
seek to be vulnerable and open within a masculine presence. Where two worlds become
one, where love is sacrifice, a true gift to humanity and it’s creator, a level 3 kind of
relationship.

9. Lust and love
I believe lust is about a physical
and emotional desires
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
And a love is about an
emotional and spiritual desire

10. Primary needs of lust and love
Certainty
Lust Variety
Signficance
In short, lust is about feeding
the ego, getting the quick hit
and feeling on top of the
Love and
world
connection
Growth
Love
Contribution
While love is about the real
thing, more about fulfilment and
heart

11. Where things come together

12. Where things come together
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual

13. Problems with western culture
In movies, media and definitely advertising lust is glorified, masturbation, porn
and sex is made to look exciting, fun and liberating. To the extent where many
people believe lust is love.
They want us to go for lust, because you can buy products to make yourself more
physically attractive.

14. The devil is in the details
Most people get into trouble because they preframed
their marriage with lust and try to recreate the same lust
in a married envionrment.
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
Where as if they preframed with love they would have no
trouble at all in their marriages.

15. Hypothetical solution
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
Many people believe that you start with physical
attraction and work your way to spiritual.

16. Hypothetical solution
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
But I believe there must be a way to start with emotional
or spiritual.

17. Hypothetical solution
“Lust isn’t wrong, so long as it is in a moral context.”
Mark Gungor.
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
So perhaps the solution is to reverse it

18. Hypothetical solution
Physical
Lust
Emotional
Love
Spiritual
If people could start with spiritual and emotional so to have a strong anchor and centre for the
relationship then diving into lust at that point would be safe.