5. The following is an accurate (somewhat) account of the highlights of Brian’s life so far. Long ago in a land that time forgot, (well the clocks don’t change in spring and fall anyway), a perfect little baby boy was born. It was December 11, 1979, somewhere in Saskatchewan, perhaps a hospital or stable, Mr. & Mrs. Giesbrecht welcomed their little baby and named him Brian. There was no doubt that he was the most perfect baby ever born – everyone said so. Of course, Mrs. Giesbrecht loved all of her children, but she knew this one was special: 100 % perfect. The doctors said there might be a slight possibility that a genetic abnormality might appear later in life, but other than that he was indeed perfect.
6. Mr. Giesbrecht noted that Brian seemed to have unusually expressive eyebrows for a newborn.
7. By all accounts, Brian was quite a normal child. He was born in the age of technology, and thus it became an integral part of his life. His hobbies included disassembling all of his parent’s belongings for parts to build rockets and motorized carts, developing alternative fuels, and splitting the atom. He also liked to help out in the kitchen. It was a time when microwave cooking was becoming more popular, although the Giesbrechts gave up on owning a microwave because Brian was constantly baking Ivory soap and melting holes in the top of the oven with Thermite. Whenever Brian’s Mom wanted to clean out the fridge, she would open jars and containers and young Brian would smell them to see if they were okay. Interestingly enough, this is the same way he determines whether or not lab chemicals are still useable.
9. Cursed with significantly more than the average number of brain cells, Brian had to work hard to overcome his geeky image. As he was approaching adulthood, his Mother became increasingly worried about what the doctors had said at his birth. A lock of Brian’s hair and DNA testing confirmed those fears. Although the doctors assured her that Brian would quite likely lead a productive life.....
10. ..but he would never be capable of washing dishes like a normal person. Sadly, Mrs. G.’s dreams of having a 100% perfect child were dashed. At best, Brian would only ever be 99% perfect.
11. Teenage years may also bring negative influences such as drugs and alcohol. Instead, Brian chose the path of leadership, becoming Commander of Starfleet Warman, - the official chapter of the Star Trek Fan Club in Warman, Sask.
12. In the next few years, Brian did some interesting things like going to the University of Saskatchewan and obtaining his degree in Teachery I guess. He also got some award in Astronomy, or maybe it was Astrology, whatever. He worked at exciting jobs, such as producing Western Producers and frolicking in the forest with Robin Hood. Finally after years of hard work he achieved the lifelong dream of all young Saskatchewan men – moving to Alberta. He was lucky enough to land a job right in the center of the universe in Youngstown. At first we were a little unsure of Brian. I thought it was odd that they give teaching certificates to 12 year olds. He was very quiet –and we hoped that he would loosen up – or run screaming for his life. There were those initial moments of panic among the staff: What if he can’t fix a laminator?, What if he doesn’t know how to keep all the tech stuff going? What if he doesn’t like older, scattered female teachers that shriek and snort Diet Coke? What if he can’t handle a psychotic janitor?
13. Brian quickly became one of the staff. I’d like to think we had a good influence on him, but likely it was a horrendous work load that would crack most terrorists. All of the late nights were taking its toll on him. At this time, there were wild rumours swirling around the Kral Apartments regarding the new young tenant. Strange stories about some machine running at night - it sounded like a mixer but goodness knows no one would bake in the middle of the night.
14. It was also reported that Brian was seen carrying various lengths of black sewer pipe into his apartment, as well as cases of Right Guard deodorant. (He would emerge several days later with a weapon of mash destruction.)
15. He soon developed a close and somewhat destructive relationship with Dr. Pepper. Brian knew that he must find time to relax in his busy schedule. At the end of October 2007, he attended a Beginning Teacher Conference in Edmonton. It was here that Brian rediscovered one of his favourite hobbies – watching movies. One of the greatest cinematic classics of our time became the focus of his attention - Bambi. You know, this is the tale of a young golden-haired creature, and Brian intently studied it for some time. I think he is really into cinematography.
16. At first the staff felt sorry for Brian, poor thing , hardly any time to eat, probably doesn’t even know how to make desserts. Little did we know that he was hiding secret cheesecake baking powers, and he even owned the perfect cheesecake pan. Just something he neglected to tell his friends for the first six months he was here
17. Brian was always open to new experiences, and was eager to begin his modelling career by posing for the print ads for the newest ATA Initiative – Date A Teacher – It’s Magic!!!! This program was soon cancelled due to lack of interest in dating teachers.
18. Brian’s next major challenge as a teacher was to attend the annual Teacher’s Convention in Calgary in February 2008. As luck would have it, our Principal Michael Benoit graciously took Brian under his wing and showed him the ropes. Brian attended every possible session he could, eager to drink in knowledge and experience.
19. He even attended an extra Physics session where he personally volunteered for an experiment. I am not totally familiar with the physics equation here but it’s something like: force of fist + alcohol = significant soft tissue damage.
20. Just as Brian was finally becoming more adept at handling his workload, we noticed that he seemed to be suffering from some strange malady. I noticed that he was becoming absent minded, delirious, and more goofy than normal.. I knew that he had recently been exposed to a nut,(I can’t recall the name of it) and I suspected he could have an allergy. Brian denied having an allergy at first, but following an intense intervention by myself and the Principal, Brian finally realized that he must distance himself from this toxic allergen.
21. As his friends and family know, Brian always turns a negative into a positive. He became an advocate for people with all kinds of nut allergies.
22. Another adventure awaited as Brian accompanied a group of students to Europe. Here he is seen preparing for his upcoming excursion
23. May of 2008 brought Brian’s first Grad experience. Brian assumed the job of slide presentations for the ceremonies. Too bad he forgot his laptop on the big night. (the one time in history where he was actually physically separated from his laptop)
24. No one was surprised when Brian was nominated for the Edwin Parr Excellence in Teaching thing. What a perfect way to top off a great first year of teaching!!!
25. Brian’s talents are limitless. Unfortunately he is not aware that in Alberta it is illegal to take a perfectly good Eskimos’ helmet and deface it with Roughrider graffiti. If anybody wonders why the school has no white-out...
26. Other Noteworthy Brian Events in the Youngstown Years April 08 – Leads first group of students to Europe. July 08 – Goes back to Europe to see more stuff and buy chocolates in Switzerland Fall 08 –Personally experiences Big Bang Theory after beating a foil packet of chemicals with a rock. Also discovers that this leads to dislocation of a finger and ringing in the ears. Note: dislocation doesn’t require doctor's attention. Just roll over in bed & jam your finger into the wall and it pops right back into place. Spring 09 – Second Grad experience and produces even bigger and better slide show. Date Unknown – Gives student lesson in gravity, rather student gives him lesson in gravity. Canon digital cameras don’t work after they fall off the roof of the school. Moral of the story: Never loan your personal camera to a student. Dates Unknown – Brian, already an accomplished photographer supposedly takes more photography courses in of all places, Vulcan. Sure like people really go there to learn photography. Beam me up, Scotty!
27. Originally started out in the V.C. Room. Expanded into the Science Lab. Then took over the Computer Lab. If he had stayed longer he eventually would have stuff in every classroom. Summer 09 – Goes back to Greece to lay on the beach and work on the yearbook. Resumes modelling career in Turkey. November 09 – Off to Australia to volunteer in foreign exchange program as beer tester. Spring 10 – Back to Europe , because goodness knows he just hasn’t been there enough. May 10 – Final Grad ceremony – the biggest so far complete with a speech. May 10 – Launches spectacular 3- stage rocket into the stratosphere, never to be seen again (or so I’m told because I have no memory of this)
29. Issi - This is the girl Brian has waited for all his life. She’s very beautiful , easy to handle. On the other hand she is high maintenance – what with the expensive gas and all. Have noticed a few temper tantrums too.(2 year olds can be difficult)
30. Maccine Although Brian is totally enamoured with her, I think she is a little condescending. She really doesn’t seem very compatible with others.
31. Rebecca – Somewhat of a rebel, and really quite flashy. Has a tendency to snap at people.
32. Brian’s very old and very tiny SmartBoard. I am told that the size doesn’t matter it’s how you use it.
33. The Girl that got away...notice how much larger Jackie’s SmartBoard is
68. The very thought of you not being right down the hall is unbearable!!!!
69. Brian – we wish you all the luck and happiness this lucky hat can bring. You have been a great friend, role model, and all around good sport - such a brilliant, shining light in our little world
