A slide show highlighting key points from my blog posts on publication and citation
Please note, this is a replacement for my original version in which I neglected to provide full citations for some ideas. My bad.
http://nickhop.wordpress.com/2013/05/19/10-easy-ways-to-make-sure-you-have-no-publication-record-when-you-finish-your-phd-and-forever-after/
http://nickhop.wordpress.com/2013/05/26/10-ways-to-make-sure-your-journal-article-never-gets-cited/
2. Good papers that are never
read may be found here
Never submit your work to
anyone for review
Why?
Fear of rejection / criticism
Perfectionism
Other excuses
100% safe
ZERO chance of getting published in journals
3. You can be your own worst
enemy
Perfect your work first
Anyway…
Perfectionism is often other
excuses in disguise
You will never write a perfect text
Accept this, get over it, and move on
4. Get E.O.S.
Causes
Not re-drafting
Not seeking critical feedback
Avoiding the hard questions
Being in a hurry: ‘quick & dirty’
is really just ‘dirty’
Early Onset Satisfaction
Mem Fox‟s idea
via @ThomsonPat‟s blog „patter‟
http://wp.me/p1GJk8-xE
You are not as good as you
think you are
5. Collapse under harsh
critique
Certainties in research:
Death, taxes, nasty reviews
This is a rather dull re-hash of very familiar
ground… as a piece of policy analysis this is
derivative and lacking in insight and
originality. It would merit a ‘B’ as an M.Ed.
Essay (in Walford 2001 Doing qualitative
educational research)
6. Flog the wrong paper
Method
Write one title / abstract, and
then a completely different
paper, ensuring you fail to
deliver on your promise
Effective way to frustrate and disappoint
reviewers
Does exactly what it says on
the tin
7. Oops!
You‟re actually going to submit something
to a journal. Eek! It might get accepted :-0
Better make sure no-one ever reads or,
worse, cites it!
8. Give it a truly dreadful title
Choice elements
No connection to ongoing conversation
No sense of what is new
Jargon
Puns
Stop people even reading the abstract!
= “A dull and irrelevant waste
of time”
9. Match your title with an
equally poor abstract
Poor abstracts (tiny texts) fail to:
LOCATE paper in bigger picture
Give a clear, specific FOCUS for study
REPORT what was done and found
ARGUE what is new, and why anyone should care
(Kamler & Thomson 2006 Helping doctoral students
write, London: Routledge); see also:
http://www.slideshare.net/AndreDaniels/writing-
an-abstract-presentation
Good abstracts (tiny texts) are hard to write
but worth the effort (Kamler & Thomson 2006)
Leave readers with no sense
of where the paper is going
10. Hide your arguments in
waffle
Avoid
Starting paras by announcing key idea
Reminding readers of key points
Being explicit: “What is new here is…”
Did I mention reinforcement?
Your readers need it S-P-E-L-L-I-N-G O-U-T
for them
Argument & contribution under
here somewhere
11. Make no worthwhile
argument at all
BORRRRR-ING!
Fear of over-claiming leads to too much
caution – saying nothing of value
Time taken to read your ‘nothing’ paper
is time your readers can never get back
Therefore it can be seen that to a certain
extent the statement is true
Not only will readers FORGET
your paper, they‟ll be really
ANNOYED with you too!
12. Over claim
Unsubstantiated
conclusions & rampant
speculation
A paper isn’t worth its salt unless you
Change the face of health services
Undo all the wrongs of history
Find a cure for cancer
Eliminate all global injustice
“I humbly accept the Nobel
Prize for my contribution to …
based on one journal paper”
