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OWN YOUR STORY, CHANGE YOUR LIFE – WORKBOOK
I truly believe that owning your story is the stepping stone to self-knowledge and
self-awareness which you need to embrace change, make peace with your past and
rewrite your future. If you are struggling with confidence, self-doubt, feeling
unfulfilled or perhaps you are just questioning the meaning of live or wanting to be
happier, I would really encourage and challenge you to try the following 5 steps to
Own Your Story and Change Your Life
STEP 1: GET A PEN AND A FEW SHEETS OF PAPER AND WRITE YOUR STORY
Have you ever sat down to write about the events of your life leading up to where
you are now? You don't have to overthink it, but just sit back and allow yourself to
write intuitively about your journey. Try to do this in a quiet place, with no noise or
distractions and spend time connecting with your inner thoughts and feelings.
Think about your childhood and past experiences.
Pay attention to the thoughts and memories that come up. Also pay attention to how
you react to those thoughts and feelings. Just allow yourself to be open and let your
story unveil as you write.
Your story is strictly for your eyes only, so if you are uncomfortable with doing this
because you do not want to share it with others, you can keep it under lock and key
or if you are typing on your laptop you can password protect it. Well except of
course, you actually want to share it with people who know you well and you trust. It
can be useful to gain perspective from people close to us about ourselves.
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If you are experiencing a block or feeling lost about this process, take some time out
to breath, relax and just write down the thoughts that come to mind. Again, try not to
overthink it, it may not make sense, but just go with your feelings or your intuition.
Story writing is something I encourage my clients to do, hence I can generally
envisage the reactions people will have about doing this. Some people will
automatically respond with a “No thank you.” This is not for me or it’s just a waste of
my time.” If that is you, I would say no sweat, this is not for everyone and you
possibly are not ready for the work involved, which is fine. Seeking self-awareness
is not an easy journey and there are no short cuts unfortunately.
Some of you will attempt this exercise and your story will read like it was written by
someone else. You will probably use words like ‘you’ instead of ‘I’ and your
description of events might seem like it happened to someone else. I would
encourage you to own your story and write in the first person using ‘I’ and ‘me’. Now
remember this is your story, no one has to read it and you can hide it under lock and
key.
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STEP 2 - NOW YOU HAVE WRITTEN YOUR STORY, SLOWLY READ THROUGH IT AND
MAKE NOTES ABOUT ANYTHING THAT JUMPS OUT AT YOU.
Is there a theme? A message or anything you feel really strongly about as you
read? When I started to write my story I learned so much about me. Writing about
my teenage years I realised that unconsciously I held this belief that my happiness
was tied to my future when I would get married and met the love of my life. That was
as far my purpose went. Looking back, it finally made sense as to why I was very
apathetic most of the time and spent a lot of my days fantasising about my future. So,
I would encourage you to really look for a theme, or message or insights about
yourself as you read through you story.
STEP 3 - PAY ATTENTION AND MAKE A NOTE ABOUT HOW YOU ARE FEELING AS
YOU READ YOUR STORY.
Write down the feelings you are experiencing. Is it joy or sadness? Pain? Or are you
laughing out loud!! Just try and make a note of your immediate feelings about your
story.
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STEP 4. NOW ASK YOURSELF THESE QUESTIONS
What does my story tell me about me?
What have l learned about me, having read my story?
What are you proud of reading through your story and what are you not so
proud of?
What bothers you, reading through your story?
What do I need right now?
What do I want right now?
One of things I learnt in my counselling journey and through writing my story was
that I never actually asked myself what I wanted or needed in my life. It was as if I
had accepted that life was something that happened to me rather than me making
my life happen. Now, every day I ask myself what I need or want and that helps to
align me back to where I need to be. So, do not be afraid to stop and ask yourself
what you need having read your story.
Step 5. I recently came up with a term which I used with a client called “the Ouch
factor”. The simplest way to describe it is: feelings of shame, hurt, embarrassment
or “I just wanna crawl under a rock and hide”
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FOR STEP 5, TRY TO THINK ABOUT THOSE MEMORIES OR EXPERIENCES
YOU WOULD RATHER NOT RECALL BECAUSE THEY BRING UP RAW
UNRESOLVED EMOTIONS THAT STILL MAKE YOU GO “OUCH”.
Write them down as they come to mind, and make a note of your reaction to these
emotions. If we are willing and able to open up to our ‘ouch’ feelings, we can truly
gain powerful insights into areas of opportunities for growth and change which may
very well be holding us back or keeping us from moving forward.
I will state that some memories and experiences might be too difficult to
acknowledge or face on your own. Writing your story is useful in highlighting areas
or issues in your life which remain unresolved. Building the courage to write about
painful experiences can be quite cathartic and healing. However, some
experiences may be too painful to deal with on your own. And for these I would
recommend seeking counselling or talking to someone you trust.
So there are my 5 steps
I truly believe that following these steps, will help you to gain powerful insights and
awareness into you, who you are, the keys to your purpose, the answers to your
‘why’s’ and help you know what you need to get what you want out of life.
In order to really know who you are and what you are about, you have to bring your
life story into your full awareness, which is why writing and owning your story is
important. Before we can own our story (with its warts and all) we have to
acknowledge it first and accept it. Then a lot of the missing pieces will start to fall
into place.
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About Me
I am a Transformational Coach and I help professional women who are fed up with
feeling miserable, anxious, fearful and depressed about the state of their lives. They
know they have it within them to do great things but are stuck in a rut of confusion,
demoralisation and chaos, that they feel unable to do anything about it.
If you resonate with these feelings, here are a few results my clients achieve through
working with me.
Motivation to break out of your rut to face and overcome your problems
Strong sense of self - awareness. Know who you are and why on earth you are
here!
Clarity and focus to discover and pursue your purpose, dreams and passions
Know and recognise your opportunities and grab hold of them!
Become your true and authentic self and refuse to conform to what is not you
or yours anymore
Learn to trust your own voice and intuition
Ability to spot self-sabotaging ways, inner critical voice and learn to manage
them rather than be ruled by them
My purpose and mission is helping women own their story, make peace with their
past, find healing and rewrite their future. A life of purpose, worthiness and
authenticity! Get in touch for a free 40 minute consultation.
Email: oby@obybamidele.com
Website: obybamidele.com
Facebook: fb.com/obyobamidele
