1. We'll start with the adorable: The Multnomah County
Animal Service’s VDay adoption special encourages
animal lovers to “adopt the love of your life” for just
the cost of a license. Awww…..

2. On the other side of the animal lover equation comes
The Bronx Zoo's "Name a Roach" campaign. (We
assume this one is strictly for the "biology is my life"
set, but what do we know?)

3. Not grossed out yet? Consider a free Valentine's Day
tour of New York's Newtown Creek Wastewater
Treatment Plant and see how your sewage gets
treated! (It really does look pretty cool, but we can't
vouch for the smell...)

4. Speaking of smells, if you really love someone you
may be comfortable sending him or her a “Fart by
Mail". Yes, this is a real thing--but it's sadly not quite
as funny as we'd like it to be.

5. On the sexy side, UK streaming service Blinkbox and
French popcorn maker Cheeky Frog created this
“aphrodisiac popcorn.”

6. …and Scottish retailer Foul Fashion launched a “Get
Laid or Your Money Back” campaign promising full
refunds to anyone who doesn’t “get lucky” within a
month of buying its clothes. (With a shirt like that?)

7. On a more romantic note, ecommerce site
Uncommon Goods sent out marketing emails
reminding last-minute shoppers that it’s not too late
and directing them to lists like “Top Ten Gifts for
Girlfriends.”

8. If you're still single and you hate yourself, you could
always check out the not-at-all-awkward IKEA
Valentine's Day event with free sodas and cakes, and,
if you manage to find someone dumb enough to give
you their phone number, 50% off a two-seater! Eww...

9. If you're married, you live in Las Vegas and you really
want to keep things classy, you could always go for
The Guns and Ammo Garage’s romantic one day “vow
renewal” offer (“pistol packing preacher” not
pictured).

10. ...and if you haven't popped the question yet, you can
charm her by taking her to enjoy the Hooters "buy 10
rings, get 10 free" VDay special. (We love the "no
ring" tagline, BTW. Great branding!)

11. Pizza Hut’s cheesy $10,010 “Proposal in a Box” offer
isn’t cheap at all: it’s instant romance! (The $10 is for
a classy dinner.)

12. Not a pizza person? You could always follow this
McDonald’s France spot’s suggestion and propose
with a Big Mac.

13. White Castle’s “Love Is in the Castle” Valentine’s Day
Reservations promo comes complete with customized
VDay “SliderGram” app: because nothing says love
like morning-after nausea!

14. Filled with regret this Valentine’s Day? Tell Vanish
Laser Tattoo Removal why your loved one wants to
lose her tat and they might do it for free!

15. If you’ve just gone through a breakup, online privacy
brand McAfee wants to remind you to change all your
passwords. Oof.

16. And if you haven’t broken up yet, online language
instruction site Babbel will teach you to do it in four
different languages!

17. You know who doesn’t do Valentine’s Day promos?
Dating sites, according to this iAcquire infographic.
We can see why. The following week is another story,
though…

18. And to end on a PR-centric note, firms like H+K
Strategies often remind clients and media contacts
why we love them so much with quick, themed
messages like this one. We can’t snark on this…