How to ensure that you create the most stress possible for yourself over the Christmas season

1. Dr. Santa Presents
How to Have a
Perfectly Dreadful
Christmas

2. Santa’s List
In order to have THE
Perfectly Dreadful
Christmas you will
have to pay
attention to 3 time
periods:
 The days leading
up to Christmas
 Christmas day
 The week after
Christmas

3. The DAYS BEFORE CHRISTMAS
The following activities
will guarantee that you
generate as much stress
as possible, not only for
you but for your entire
family!

4. Put them up on
the coldest day
Argue with in December..
partner about
what colours
to have; blow
the fuses 6
times
Outdoor Decorating
Light up your
entire
house, roof, deck,
and trees with
coloured
lights, manger, ass
orted animals, and
Santa.

5. Give them
what they
gave you last
Leave the year. Pretend
actual buying it’s a new
tradition.
until a week
before
Christmas
Gift Buying
Focus on
buying gifts
that will take
you 12 months
to pay for.

6. Fry up a tofu
burger for the
vegetarians
Run out of in the crowd
shortbread
cookies and
force fruitcake
on people
Christmas Baking
Bake dozens of different
kinds of cookies in all
different shapes; order
turkey, ham, goose, and
duck to cook for Christmas
dinner, and a Christmas
pudding for dessert along
with mince meat tarts, and
apple pie

7. Listen to
“Grandma got run
over by a
Reindeer”, and
Plan to watch “Alvin and the
Miracle on 45 St. Chipmunks” every
day during
together as a family Advent.
after dinner; realize
the new neighbours
are Jewish
Holiday Traditions
Plan to incorporate
the holiday
traditions of both
sides of the
family, plus those of
the 15 other guests
you’ve invited; sing
carols at the
neighbours.

8. Christmas Day Tips
If you want to ensure
that the actual day itself
is perfectly
dreadful, then you
could consider the
following:

9. Break up fights
between kids; try
to locate missing
pieces of the 1000
Spend the piece jig saw
puzzle
next 2 hours
trying to
match gifts
with gift cards.
Christmas
Morning
Have the kids
dive in, find
and open their
gifts all at
once.

10. Fry up a tofu
burger for the
vegetarians, a
nd clean up
Insist that dog barf from
everyone try a pet getting into
little of everything, turkey bones.
including squash,
because how will
they know whether
or not they like it if
they don’t try it?
Christmas
Dinner
Between football
games on t.v. and
electronic
games, try to get
everyone to sit down
together, at one
table, for a lovely
Christmas dinner.

11. Hide the
liquor
Keep sharp
instruments out of
the hands of those
who are arguing
over whose fault it
was that Izzy had to
Relationships
get married
Invite estranged
members of the
family in hopes
that the season
will effect a
reconciliation

12. Explain to the
kids that Uncle
George had a
late night
Referee
working and
arguments over needs to rest
who gets how
much time on the
computer
Christmas Day
Activities
Plan for
everyone in the
family to enjoy a
common activity
together.

13. Go through all
the garbage
bags looking for
Have everyone missing pieces
of gifts.
press and neatly
fold the
wrapping paper
for reuse
Cleaning Up
Wash your good
china by hand so it
doesn’t get broken;
vacuum the living
room while asking
people politely to lift
their feet.

14. Christmas Week Tips
Christmas stress does not have to
end just because the day is
finished.
With careful planning, you can
ensure that the perfectly dreadful
day will last for an entire week, up
to and including New Year’s.
Here are the 5 major stressors

15. You blow your
entire next year
gift budget on
things that you
You and 3000 will put away
other people and forget about
flood electronic
stores for 2 i-
pads that are
marked down to
$450 from $499 Boxing Day
Plan to hit the
malls early so that
you can snap up
wrapping paper
and gifts for next
year.

16. Take dog to
the vet for
tinsel
Awake to kids extraction
fighting, major
blizzard, and
power failure
Change in Routine
Make plans to sleep
in, have leisurely
breakfast with
family, go on family
outings and
appreciate the glory
that is winter.

17. Agree to 5
times the
going rate for
All baby sitters a sitter from
the local
booked since
homeless
September. shelter.
Hunt frantically
for relative
Planning for New
Year`s Eve
Plan to attend
fancy New Year`s
Eve Ball. Purchase
new formal wear.
Plan to book baby-
sitter.