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In#macy	
  &	
  Social	
  Media	
  	
  
The	
  rela#onship	
  between	
  digital	
  
   technology	
  and	
  roman#c	
  
 rela#onships	
  of	
  today’s	
  youth	
  




                                          Sarah	
  Boucher	
  
"Young	
  people	
  are	
  at	
  the	
  forefront	
  of	
  
developing,	
  using,	
  reworking,	
  and	
  
incorpora8ng	
  new	
  media	
  into	
  their	
  da8ng	
  
prac8ces	
  in	
  ways	
  that	
  might	
  be	
  unknown,	
  
unfamiliar,	
  and	
  some8mes	
  scary	
  to	
  
adults"	
  (p.	
  117).	
  
History	
  of	
  Contemporary	
  Da#ng	
  
•  Contemporary	
  da#ng	
  and	
  
   courtship	
  prac#ces	
  are	
  a	
  
   20th	
  century	
  development	
  
•  Emerged	
  out	
  of	
  working-­‐
   class	
  "calling"	
  prac#ces	
  
•  Supported	
  by	
  "the	
  
   movement	
  of	
  youth	
  from	
  
   work-­‐places	
  to	
  public	
  
   schools,	
  the	
  development	
  of	
  
   school	
  dances,	
  and	
  the	
  
   independence	
  afforded	
  by	
  
   the	
  spread	
  of	
  automobile	
  
•  Current	
  rituals	
  are	
  less	
  
   formal	
  and	
  uniform	
  than	
  
   those	
  of	
  their	
  historical	
  
   counterparts	
  
Modern-­‐day	
  Rela#onships	
  
•    Romance	
  is	
  a	
  salient	
  feature	
  of	
  social	
  
     development	
  in	
  adolescence	
  
•    Teens	
  learn	
  about	
  da#ng,	
  in#macy,	
  and	
  
     romance	
  from	
  their	
  friends	
  and	
  social	
  circles	
  
•    Teen	
  romance	
  and	
  rituals	
  take	
  place	
  both	
  
     publicly	
  and	
  collec#vely	
  
•    Da#ng	
  and	
  romance	
  prac#ces	
  and	
  themes	
  are	
  
     a	
  central	
  part	
  of	
  teens'	
  new	
  media	
  prac#ces	
  
•    "Using	
  social	
  media,	
  contemporary	
  teens	
  
     con#nue	
  to	
  craM	
  and	
  reshape	
  da#ng	
  and	
  
     romance	
  norms	
  and	
  rituals	
  that	
  are	
  now	
  
     deeply	
  #ed	
  to	
  the	
  development	
  of	
  new	
  media	
  
     literacies"	
  (p.	
  120)	
  
•    Youth	
  u#lize	
  3	
  primary	
  technologies	
  in	
  their	
  
     in#macy	
  prac#ces:	
  mobile	
  phones,	
  instant	
  
     messaging,	
  and	
  social	
  network	
  sites	
  
“Controlled	
  Casualness”	
  of	
  Digital	
  Communica#on	
  

  •  New	
  media	
  allows	
  teens	
  to	
  meet	
  and/or	
  
     further	
  poten#al	
  roman#c	
  interests	
  in	
  a	
  way	
  
     that	
  might	
  feel	
  less	
  vulnerable	
  then	
  face-­‐to-­‐
     face	
  communica#on	
  
  •  The	
  asynchronous	
  nature	
  of	
  technologies	
  
     provides	
  teens	
  with	
  the	
  ability	
  to	
  deliberate	
  
     and	
  carefully	
  construct	
  messages	
  that	
  appear	
  
     to	
  be	
  casual	
  
Language	
  of	
  “Controlled	
  Casualness”	
  
•  Online	
  communica#on	
  supports	
  the	
  “whatever	
  theory	
  of	
  
   language”,	
  in	
  which	
  people	
  are	
  increasingly	
  using	
  more	
  informal	
  
   linguis#c	
  forms	
  to	
  write	
  and	
  communicate	
  
•  Casual	
  online	
  language	
  is	
  used	
  to	
  create	
  an	
  inten#onal	
  ambiguity	
  
•  Such	
  communica#on	
  is	
  a	
  “contextually	
  specific	
  literary	
  prac#ce,	
  
   acutely	
  tuned	
  to	
  the	
  par#culars	
  of	
  given	
  social	
  situa#ons	
  and	
  
   cultural	
  norms”	
  (p.	
  125)	
  
•  The	
  text	
  cites	
  Bob,	
  a	
  white	
  19	
  year	
  old,	
  who	
  reported	
  carefully	
  
   edi#ng	
  his	
  grammar	
  and	
  spelling	
  to	
  give	
  the	
  appearance	
  of	
  an	
  “off-­‐
   the-­‐cuff”	
  comment	
  
•  Public	
  venues	
  afforded	
  by	
  social	
  network	
  sites	
  (such	
  as	
  “walls”	
  on	
  
   Facebook)	
  provide	
  yet	
  another	
  layer	
  of	
  casualness	
  and	
  protec#on	
  
New	
  Media’s	
  Role	
  in	
  Mee#ng/Flir#ng	
  
•  Flir#ng	
  via	
  the	
  online	
  networks	
  of	
  “controlled	
  
   casualness”	
  promotes	
  offline	
  mee#ngs	
  and	
  
   deepens	
  casual	
  #es	
  to	
  online	
  friends	
  
•  Networks	
  are	
  relied	
  upon	
  to	
  do	
  some	
  of	
  the	
  
   verifica#on	
  work	
  in	
  online	
  secngs	
  
Con#nuous	
  Contact	
  
           •  Technology	
  mediates	
  teens’	
  long-­‐
              term,	
  steady,	
  and	
  commided	
  
              rela#onships	
  
           •  The	
  “always	
  on”	
  possibili#es	
  of	
  new	
  
              media	
  intensify	
  teens’	
  high	
  
              expecta#ons	
  of	
  contact	
  with	
  and	
  
              availability	
  of	
  their	
  significant	
  others	
  
           •  Much	
  of	
  rela#onship	
  and	
  emo#onal	
  
              work	
  is	
  done	
  through	
  the	
  usage	
  of	
  
              new	
  media	
  
           •  Affec#on	
  is	
  demonstrated	
  through	
  
              private	
  and	
  public	
  media	
  channels;	
  
              such	
  as	
  intensified	
  reciprocity	
  in	
  
              online	
  communica#ons,	
  exchanging	
  
              digitalized	
  symbols	
  via	
  text	
  or	
  
              instant	
  messenger,	
  and	
  affirming	
  
              their	
  rela#onship	
  publicly	
  via	
  social	
  
              network	
  sites	
  
Social	
  Network	
  Sites	
  &	
  Rela#onships	
  
•  Social	
  network	
  sites	
  are	
  the	
  embodiment	
  of	
  
   teens’	
  rela#onships	
  
•  Friends	
  are	
  ranked	
  to	
  according	
  to	
  strength	
  
   and	
  seriousness	
  of	
  their	
  rela#onship	
  and	
  
   commitment	
  
•  Rela#onship	
  status	
  indicates	
  dedica#on	
  to	
  
   their	
  significant	
  other	
  
•  Public	
  messages	
  and	
  posted	
  “couple”	
  pictures	
  
   further	
  convey	
  the	
  nature	
  of	
  the	
  rela#onship	
  
Breaking	
  Up	
  Online	
  

“New	
  communica#on	
  
prac#ces	
  oMen	
  require	
  that	
  
teens	
  take	
  a	
  variety	
  of	
  steps	
  
to	
  sweep	
  up	
  the	
  digital	
  
remnant	
  of	
  a	
  given	
  
rela#onship	
  and	
  to	
  deal	
  with	
  
access	
  to	
  and	
  the	
  con#nuing	
  
digital	
  presence	
  of	
  their	
  
former	
  significant	
  others”	
  (p.	
  
132).	
  
Breaking	
  Up	
  Online	
  
•  Breaking	
  up	
  online—whether	
  through	
  tex#ng,	
  
   IM’s,	
  or	
  a	
  SNS—is	
  generally	
  viewed	
  as	
  
   disrespecjul	
  
•  The	
  consensus	
  views	
  face-­‐to-­‐face	
  interac#on	
  
   as	
  the	
  preferable,	
  more	
  respecjul	
  course	
  of	
  
   ac#on	
  when	
  ending	
  a	
  rela#onship	
  
Breaking	
  Up	
  Online	
  
•  For	
  teens	
  today,	
  changing	
  a	
  public	
  representa#on	
  of	
  a	
  
   rela#onship	
  is	
  a	
  normal	
  part	
  of	
  the	
  now-­‐mediated	
  
   rela#onships	
  
•  Digital	
  representa#ons	
  of	
  rela#onships	
  on	
  public	
  
   venues	
  ensues	
  a	
  public	
  performance	
  of	
  breakups,	
  
   showcasing	
  individuals’	
  emo#onal	
  reac#on	
  to	
  the	
  
   situa#on	
  
•  Public	
  documenta#on	
  of	
  rela#onships	
  and	
  breakups	
  
   indicate	
  the	
  need	
  for	
  valida#on	
  and	
  support	
  from	
  
   one’s	
  peers	
  
•  Breakups	
  can	
  be	
  reflected	
  passively,	
  or	
  displayed	
  
   ac#vely	
  
Passive	
  Communica#on	
  
•  Despite	
  the	
  demise	
  of	
  a	
  rela#onship,	
  teens	
  
   oMen	
  s#ll	
  inhabit	
  the	
  same	
  networked	
  publics,	
  
   and	
  thus	
  retain	
  an	
  indirect	
  channel	
  to	
  monitor	
  
   each	
  other	
  and	
  communicate	
  aMer	
  breaking	
  
   up	
  
•  Teens	
  can	
  passively	
  communicate	
  through	
  
   their	
  online	
  profiles	
  and	
  presence	
  
Privacy	
  &	
  Boundaries	
  
•  Digital	
  communica#on	
  circumvents	
  
   geographic	
  and	
  ins#tu#onal	
  constraints,	
  
   providing	
  teens	
  with	
  a	
  sphere	
  of	
  privacy	
  to	
  
   communicate	
  with	
  their	
  significant	
  others	
  
•  However,	
  it	
  requires	
  a	
  nego#a#on	
  of	
  new	
  
   boundaries	
  and	
  spheres	
  of	
  privacy	
  in	
  one’s	
  
   in#mate	
  rela#onships	
  due	
  to	
  the	
  expecta#ons	
  
   of	
  high	
  contact	
  it	
  creates	
  and	
  the	
  amount	
  of	
  
   personal	
  informa#on	
  shared	
  	
  
Vulnerability	
  
•  New	
  media	
  allows	
  teens	
  to	
  manage	
  their	
  
   emo#onal	
  vulnerability	
  (i.e.	
  controlled	
  
   casualness)	
  	
  
•  However,	
  new	
  media	
  also	
  makes	
  youth	
  more	
  
   suscep#ble	
  to	
  the	
  sharing	
  of	
  informa#on	
  
   about	
  them	
  outside	
  of	
  their	
  control	
  
Conclusion	
  
•  For	
  teenagers	
  today,	
  par#cipa#ng	
  in	
  the	
  
   mediated	
  world	
  of	
  technology	
  is	
  essen#al	
  to	
  
   being	
  part	
  of	
  an	
  offline	
  social	
  world	
  
•  Youth	
  are	
  developing	
  new	
  kinds	
  of	
  social	
  norms	
  
   and	
  literacies	
  through	
  the	
  rela#onal	
  and	
  
   emo#onal	
  prac#ces	
  of	
  digital	
  technologies	
  
•  This	
  peer-­‐based	
  learning	
  is	
  significantly	
  changing	
  
   how	
  in#mate	
  communica#on	
  and	
  rela#onships	
  
   are	
  structured,	
  expressed,	
  and	
  publicized	
  
Conclusion	
  
•  Short	
  video	
  highligh#ng	
  the	
  role	
  of	
  Facebook	
  
   in	
  today’s	
  world	
  of	
  da#ng	
  
•  Facebook	
  Manners	
  &	
  You:
   hdp://www.youtube.com/watch?
   v=iROYzrm5SBM	
  

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Presentation1

  • 1. In#macy  &  Social  Media     The  rela#onship  between  digital   technology  and  roman#c   rela#onships  of  today’s  youth   Sarah  Boucher  
  • 2. "Young  people  are  at  the  forefront  of   developing,  using,  reworking,  and   incorpora8ng  new  media  into  their  da8ng   prac8ces  in  ways  that  might  be  unknown,   unfamiliar,  and  some8mes  scary  to   adults"  (p.  117).  
  • 3. History  of  Contemporary  Da#ng   •  Contemporary  da#ng  and   courtship  prac#ces  are  a   20th  century  development   •  Emerged  out  of  working-­‐ class  "calling"  prac#ces   •  Supported  by  "the   movement  of  youth  from   work-­‐places  to  public   schools,  the  development  of   school  dances,  and  the   independence  afforded  by   the  spread  of  automobile   •  Current  rituals  are  less   formal  and  uniform  than   those  of  their  historical   counterparts  
  • 4. Modern-­‐day  Rela#onships   •  Romance  is  a  salient  feature  of  social   development  in  adolescence   •  Teens  learn  about  da#ng,  in#macy,  and   romance  from  their  friends  and  social  circles   •  Teen  romance  and  rituals  take  place  both   publicly  and  collec#vely   •  Da#ng  and  romance  prac#ces  and  themes  are   a  central  part  of  teens'  new  media  prac#ces   •  "Using  social  media,  contemporary  teens   con#nue  to  craM  and  reshape  da#ng  and   romance  norms  and  rituals  that  are  now   deeply  #ed  to  the  development  of  new  media   literacies"  (p.  120)   •  Youth  u#lize  3  primary  technologies  in  their   in#macy  prac#ces:  mobile  phones,  instant   messaging,  and  social  network  sites  
  • 5. “Controlled  Casualness”  of  Digital  Communica#on   •  New  media  allows  teens  to  meet  and/or   further  poten#al  roman#c  interests  in  a  way   that  might  feel  less  vulnerable  then  face-­‐to-­‐ face  communica#on   •  The  asynchronous  nature  of  technologies   provides  teens  with  the  ability  to  deliberate   and  carefully  construct  messages  that  appear   to  be  casual  
  • 6. Language  of  “Controlled  Casualness”   •  Online  communica#on  supports  the  “whatever  theory  of   language”,  in  which  people  are  increasingly  using  more  informal   linguis#c  forms  to  write  and  communicate   •  Casual  online  language  is  used  to  create  an  inten#onal  ambiguity   •  Such  communica#on  is  a  “contextually  specific  literary  prac#ce,   acutely  tuned  to  the  par#culars  of  given  social  situa#ons  and   cultural  norms”  (p.  125)   •  The  text  cites  Bob,  a  white  19  year  old,  who  reported  carefully   edi#ng  his  grammar  and  spelling  to  give  the  appearance  of  an  “off-­‐ the-­‐cuff”  comment   •  Public  venues  afforded  by  social  network  sites  (such  as  “walls”  on   Facebook)  provide  yet  another  layer  of  casualness  and  protec#on  
  • 7. New  Media’s  Role  in  Mee#ng/Flir#ng   •  Flir#ng  via  the  online  networks  of  “controlled   casualness”  promotes  offline  mee#ngs  and   deepens  casual  #es  to  online  friends   •  Networks  are  relied  upon  to  do  some  of  the   verifica#on  work  in  online  secngs  
  • 8. Con#nuous  Contact   •  Technology  mediates  teens’  long-­‐ term,  steady,  and  commided   rela#onships   •  The  “always  on”  possibili#es  of  new   media  intensify  teens’  high   expecta#ons  of  contact  with  and   availability  of  their  significant  others   •  Much  of  rela#onship  and  emo#onal   work  is  done  through  the  usage  of   new  media   •  Affec#on  is  demonstrated  through   private  and  public  media  channels;   such  as  intensified  reciprocity  in   online  communica#ons,  exchanging   digitalized  symbols  via  text  or   instant  messenger,  and  affirming   their  rela#onship  publicly  via  social   network  sites  
  • 9. Social  Network  Sites  &  Rela#onships   •  Social  network  sites  are  the  embodiment  of   teens’  rela#onships   •  Friends  are  ranked  to  according  to  strength   and  seriousness  of  their  rela#onship  and   commitment   •  Rela#onship  status  indicates  dedica#on  to   their  significant  other   •  Public  messages  and  posted  “couple”  pictures   further  convey  the  nature  of  the  rela#onship  
  • 10. Breaking  Up  Online   “New  communica#on   prac#ces  oMen  require  that   teens  take  a  variety  of  steps   to  sweep  up  the  digital   remnant  of  a  given   rela#onship  and  to  deal  with   access  to  and  the  con#nuing   digital  presence  of  their   former  significant  others”  (p.   132).  
  • 11. Breaking  Up  Online   •  Breaking  up  online—whether  through  tex#ng,   IM’s,  or  a  SNS—is  generally  viewed  as   disrespecjul   •  The  consensus  views  face-­‐to-­‐face  interac#on   as  the  preferable,  more  respecjul  course  of   ac#on  when  ending  a  rela#onship  
  • 12. Breaking  Up  Online   •  For  teens  today,  changing  a  public  representa#on  of  a   rela#onship  is  a  normal  part  of  the  now-­‐mediated   rela#onships   •  Digital  representa#ons  of  rela#onships  on  public   venues  ensues  a  public  performance  of  breakups,   showcasing  individuals’  emo#onal  reac#on  to  the   situa#on   •  Public  documenta#on  of  rela#onships  and  breakups   indicate  the  need  for  valida#on  and  support  from   one’s  peers   •  Breakups  can  be  reflected  passively,  or  displayed   ac#vely  
  • 13. Passive  Communica#on   •  Despite  the  demise  of  a  rela#onship,  teens   oMen  s#ll  inhabit  the  same  networked  publics,   and  thus  retain  an  indirect  channel  to  monitor   each  other  and  communicate  aMer  breaking   up   •  Teens  can  passively  communicate  through   their  online  profiles  and  presence  
  • 14. Privacy  &  Boundaries   •  Digital  communica#on  circumvents   geographic  and  ins#tu#onal  constraints,   providing  teens  with  a  sphere  of  privacy  to   communicate  with  their  significant  others   •  However,  it  requires  a  nego#a#on  of  new   boundaries  and  spheres  of  privacy  in  one’s   in#mate  rela#onships  due  to  the  expecta#ons   of  high  contact  it  creates  and  the  amount  of   personal  informa#on  shared    
  • 15. Vulnerability   •  New  media  allows  teens  to  manage  their   emo#onal  vulnerability  (i.e.  controlled   casualness)     •  However,  new  media  also  makes  youth  more   suscep#ble  to  the  sharing  of  informa#on   about  them  outside  of  their  control  
  • 16. Conclusion   •  For  teenagers  today,  par#cipa#ng  in  the   mediated  world  of  technology  is  essen#al  to   being  part  of  an  offline  social  world   •  Youth  are  developing  new  kinds  of  social  norms   and  literacies  through  the  rela#onal  and   emo#onal  prac#ces  of  digital  technologies   •  This  peer-­‐based  learning  is  significantly  changing   how  in#mate  communica#on  and  rela#onships   are  structured,  expressed,  and  publicized  
  • 17. Conclusion   •  Short  video  highligh#ng  the  role  of  Facebook   in  today’s  world  of  da#ng   •  Facebook  Manners  &  You: hdp://www.youtube.com/watch? v=iROYzrm5SBM