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- 143. Like they didn't even really know how So now let me tell you about flow according to they were Christ. really feeling... if they were hungry, if Christ came, he said, "I did not, to be served, they were but to serve." tired. is cause I was so overchallenging myself. It was And He Poured his life out for many. such a struggle to overcome and to overcome mentally and overcome physically It was like the entire bandwidthh of their And he said that those who would be his human followers... and all the rest the all the rest of the other one capacity time out of ten was climbing That the defining characteristic of their lives is that they would also be known as servants. something so easy... it was.. well you know... itso focused on something outside of was was what it was... a walk in the park themselves, they were actually forgetting As people who put themselves last and they live But this one day was different. I started working about to pour themselves out into others. And in fact, themselves in that moment he went on to say my way up this climb. that then and only then is the time when you And I noticed that unlike the normal attempt at was that moment that they would And it would be experiencing life to its fullest measure. climbing, I found myself just kind of almost describe moving effortlessly. One of the things I get to see in church is people as the happiest, most ecstatic moment of rise up and decide to kind of throw away the me- their Placing the gear, clipping the rope, and making centric approach to living. my way up. And I don't know how else to lives. describe this, And instead to roll up their sleeved and search to A moment of living completely beyond At some point, it felt like all of time had stood still. Everyone wants to be happy. But research has been showing that we have been very wrong about how to find happiness. Picture yourself as a container. We tend to think that if the container of self gets a little low on happiness, then, discover their unique giftingproblem is we think we gotta fill it up with stuff outside of ourselves and so we try to throw some money into the container of self… and then we try to throw a bigger house, a faster of course you've got to fill it up. The and wiring and then car, some new experiences... heck, maybe some Like I could have been doing this for hours, it just themselves begin to serve. To pour out and build into others new friends. felt like a single moment in the church. If you think about this is just like normal In fact, I forgot about everything that was happening in before And this works, right? Well, kind of... I mean if In fact, I just got an e-mail from a good friend of you stepped into your car this morning and the world except this one single activity. life I was mine. You know God is uniquely gifted every single one inhaled some new car scent completely focused, and it was an incredible experience of you with a special ability to make an impact I mean, we would all say that our He was e-mailing me because four years ago, he and a difference in the lives of your fellow believers. I bet that would have felt at least a little bit like later I found out that that is called flow. And happiest accepted the challenge to be a house group Do you know that? happiness. according CSIKSZENTIMIHALYI, extreme adventure leader in our high school ministry. And when you're not using that gift sports are moments in life are moments we're to an appropriate challenge level, you kind of get Or if you were boarding a cruise ship today... focusing And although it took him rearranging his life, and disengaged from your faith. Most of you would say yea yea... I am confident one of the primary placeswhere it's easy outside of ourselves. to You get a little apathetic about it all. that that would increase my levels of happiness starting to give so many hours pouring into these You get a observe flow. students. little bored with the whole thing. You see, a climber doesn't really You see it does work. The problem is it just When we're hanging out with people 'Cause that is where people are pushing their Four years later he was e-mailing me to thank experience flow when they sit down and compose music. Instead doesn't work for very long. You see we're like a strainer. mind, and their body to the limits of human we that me. they experience frustration. capacity. love, or when we're playing And a composer, on the other hand, they don't experience flow when they try to As soon as stuff goes in it goes right back out. Because he was reflecting on the last four years climb. But that's not the only place he found flow. and how God had used his contribution in order It's like day four of the cruise and I'm like, "I hate a sport or engaged in an activity or to pour into students They're going to experience frustration as well. What are you experiencing? Is it boats, I just want to go home." discovering or In fact, he found floating in some composers. But flow? Or is it frustration? learning. Those are happy experiences. not just any composers. Highly trained, highly and they were reaching four times as many You see frustration comes from when You see this "pouring stuff from outside of skilled composers, would tell him about moments students we are either over-challenged or we're ourselves into us" approach to finding happiness under-challenged just doesn't really work. Conversely the times that don't rank in their life where they sat down to create in the high school that he was overseeing as the or we are serving completely outside the gifting something new is almost like their handshighly on were ministry was four years ago. that God has given to us. But flow comes Heres a great way to test your view on happiness. Answer this question just moving effortlessly people's happiness list, is times when whenever the right challenge level meets the across the keyboard. They experienced almost they're and he could not have been more grateful to right skill level. If you won the lottery... would it make you focused on themselves. have been used by God. I love hearing stories And then, and only then, we can see happier? an out of body experience as they watched like that. God moving though us in an incredible way, themselves have an amazing impact on the I know what you're thinking You're thinking, "Uh, Looking in the mirror. Soul searching. I think about the first time that I decided to serve people around us and have the highest levels the right answer is to say, 'no' I think," cause you creating something new... One of the best at church. I showed up and I just found a way to fullfillment you ever experienced before. know you can't buy happiness, experiences they ever had in their lives. serve and it was great Navel gazing. Listening to their own And what would it look like for you? To find an opportunity to serve in the but deep down, you're thinking, "Uh, YES! Well, of heartbeat. He also found this in ice skaters who would I wasn't focused on myself. church, pour yourself out how things are others course! Millions of dollars flying into my life? reflect on certain moments else about listening aaren't the happiest moments of Those out of a place that God has uniquely Who wouldn't be happy with that? skier who defy concern moments life. It was an incredible experience. And so I went enabled and wired you to be able to do. But instead, research of those who actually won back a second time and a third time and beware You know, according to the when they were gliding across the ice, having an you're going to discover this whole serving thing scriptures, not only would your life have the greatest the lottery shows that their happiness curve almost translike, utopic experience... Computer analysis was done on suicidal level of impact, looks just like that, flat poets It's addictive. It feels so liberating by serving out of your unique gifting. so much happiness, so much peace... in this one and was found to be distinctive writings but also experience the highest level of fulfillment particular moment. And he would find this in To be focused on something outside of you, And that you ever experienced. CEOs and snowboarders in everything in about In fact, I can't find a single piece of research that I don't know about you, shows any correlation between increased wealth as great as that felt for me, it's still wasn't flow. and increased happiness. their but I imagine how amazing it would be if between that when someone was highly gifted In fact, I didn't encounter the flow though serving all of us began to live that way. Let me introduce you to one psychologist. His and highly skilled in some particular area, works that they have a significant serving until someone came along and said, So I say that as a people name is CSIKSZENTIMIHALYI. The toughest increased "Hey, here's a ministry ministry. You lead it." we become those who completely name to spell. I dare you to try it. and they were able to engage in that activity at a reject this idea that the way to become happy as a high level. Not to where it was too challenging, of the personal pronouns I, me and usage And once was given the mantle of leadership, person is by just pouring more and more stuff Well, CSIKSZENTIMIHALYI devoted his life my. into us. studying human happiness. If it was too challenging, they would be scared I started to notice things flowing out of me that I And, instead, accept the truth, that the way to happiness is by had no idea were there. If it was under challenging, they would get bored, the problem seat, with typical You see pouring ourselves And through his extensive studies, he found the out into others. greatest moments of happiness for human or apathetic. approach I found myself casting vision, building teams and What might God do through us as a community? beings, come not when to happiness is that it's very motivating people and aligning people and I can only imagine But when challenge met skill level they uniting them in a common direction. So, let's find out. they're trying to pour stuff from the from the encountered what the psychologist outside in but actually, when they are pouring CSIKSZENTIMIHALYI calls flow. me-centric. It's all about what I need. And it was it was so far beyond me. And I started from inside out. to see God doing a work though me, Whenever a person was pouring themselves into The problem is that happiness isn't found And in those moments what he observed from a an activity in which they had an area of expertise. psychologist perspective is that they temporarily by into other's lives. doing the work threw me into Let me explain. forgot about themselves other's lives in ways I had never encountered focusing before Whenever a person engages in an activity at the I can only imagine apex of their skill level, on me at all. You know God is uniquely gifted every single one So, let's find out. of you with a special ability to make an impact and they are fully challenged in that moment. They would encounter a state that he labeled, Instead, happiness is found when we and a difference in the lives of your fellow believers. Do you know that? Flow. completely Let me tell you about the first time I experienced forget about ourselves. That is when we And when you're not using that gift to an flow. encounter flow. appropriate challenge level, you kind of get disengaged from your faith. I was a college student and me and my friends, we had gotten into rock climbing. According to CSIKSZENTIMIHALYI... You get a little apathetic about it all. You get a little bored with the whole thing. And so for years, been climbing multiple days of the week. And I loved climbing, It's intense, You see, a climber doesn't really experience flow it's physically challenging when they sit down and compose music. Instead they experience frustration. mentally challenging. I loved everything about it. and nine times out of ten, whenever I was And a composer, on the other hand, they don't climbing, part of the reason I loved it experience flow when they try to climb. They're going to experience frustration as well. What are you experiencing? Is it flow? Or is it frustration? You see frustration comes from when we are either over-challenged or we're under-challenged or we are serving completely outside the gifting that God has given to us. But flow comes whenever the right challenge level meets the right skill level.