This document is a presentation about relating the reality TV show Toddlers & Tiaras to college student advising. It discusses concepts from the show like glitz, music/dancing, respecting different cultures, dealing with temper tantrums and crying students, hyper-parenting, social comparison, being judged, encouragement, and making all students feel like winners. It provides advising strategies and tips for addressing these issues when working with students. The presentation aims to help advisors entertain, inform and make new connections in their work.
2. Purpose of this workshop
Entertain you
Inform you
Help you make new connections
3. Background
What is Toddlers & Tiaras?
What is “Ultimate Grand Supreme?”
Highest honor
4. Relating T & T to our work
Glitz
Music/dancing
Respect the culture
Temper tantrums
Crying
Hyper-Parenting
Social comparison
Being judged/criticized
Encouragement
Everybody‟s a winner
5. What is glitz?
Glamour pageants
Opposite of natural pageants
Make-up
Fake eyelashes/hair/
teeth (flippers)
Fancy dresses
(rhinestones)
Spray tans
6. Adding glitz to our work
Personal
Appearance
Office decorations/lighting
○ Sit in student‟s seat
Materials/resources you use
○ Handouts/websites
○ Social media
Your college center
Reading materials/snacks
Themes
Reception staff – uniform, theme
7. Music/dancing
Role in T & T
Benefits of music:
“Music has the power to
energize, soothe, change emotional
outlook, boost immunity, reduce pain, speed
recovery, lower blood pressure, improve focus
and IQ as well as aid weight loss.” (Ambroziak, 2003)
Benefits of dance:
Confidence, self-esteem, creative
expression, imagination, intellectual
stimulation, fitness, coordination. (Dascomb, 2011)
8. Music/dance in your office
Playing softly in background
iTunes, Pandora, headphones
Watching music videos (during lunch of
course)
Dance by yourself (shades down/in
bathroom) or with coworkers (with their
permission)
Use it to pump self up before tough
student, meeting, presentation, evaluation, e
tc.
Organize flash mob
9. Respect the culture
In T & T
One wouldn‟t dress in glitz for natural
pageant or wear a swimsuit for crowning.
In our work with students
Cultural sensitivity:
“… capacity to appropriately respond to the
attitudes, feelings, circumstances of clients
and others of a different
ethnic, racial, religious, or cultural heritage.”
(Sperry, 2010)
10. Respect the culture
Advising:
Work from the student‟s belief system
Don‟t assume that culture is a factor for the
student (it may not be)
Don‟t act like you know everything about that
culture (student is the expert)
Students from same culture may not have the
same beliefs (Sperry, 2010)
Examples: female advisor/second opinion, not
expressing problems or seeking
help, medication, strong attachment to family
(obligations may be more important than
school), has to choose specific major
11. Temper tantrums
Common in T & T
In our work with students
“Events do not make a person angry, but
the interpretation of these provoke anger”
(Bhave & Saini, 2009)
Getting through a temper tantrum:
Be sensitive and patient
Listen to student‟s concerns; let student voice
him/herself
Set appropriate limits
May need “time out” (Cohen, 2011)
12. Anger management techniques
Admit anger (pay attention to body
language/facial expressions)
Analyze/identify source of anger
Address the emotions behind the anger
Is anger justified or reasonable? (Bhave & Saini,
2009)
Apply this info when students/coworkers
anger you.
13. Crying
Happens often in T & T
Your reactions to crying?
Obviously, people treat it differently
Gusher
Suppressor
Cultural differences
Social media instead of face-to-face
Benefits of emotional sharing (not only crying):
Recognition and validation of suffering
Development of pro-social behaviors (i.e. social
support) (Schwarzer & Frensch, 2010)
14. My student is crying … what do
I do?
Don‟t be afraid to acknowledge it (ex: “Your eyes
got watery when I asked about your family.”)
Not necessarily a bad thing
Let the student cry if time permits (have tissues
available)
Tell them it‟s okay to cry (many will apologize)
LISTEN (don‟t try to “fix” it)
Empathize (“I would be sad, too”)
Outlets/relief (campus resources & personal
outlets)
Do your best - being genuine goes a long way.
15. Hyper-Parenting
Who/what are they?
Pageant parents
Helicopter parents
Blackhawk parents – aggressive attack units that will
do whatever it takes to ensure a favorable position
for their child.
Lawnmower parents – smooth down and mow over
obstacles in child‟s path
Curling parents (Scandinavia) – sweeping away
everything that gets in the way of their child
Others: the Bodyguard, the Consumer Advocate, the
White Knight, the Rescuer, the Banker, the
Agent, the Safety Expert. (Positive-Parenting-Ally.com)
16. Why are some parents
overinvolved?
Millennial generation - born after 1982
Most child-centric time in our history
"They have been the most protected and
programmed children ever -- car seats and
safety helmets, play groups and soccer
leagues, cellphones and e-mail. The parents of
this generation are used to close and constant
contact with their children and vice versa.”
(Strauss, 2006)
Child is a reflection of the parents‟
abilities/worthiness (Education.com)
Competition among parents
17. If overprotective parents
abruptly “sever the umbilical
cord” …
Students may feel lost and not know
how to proceed, including not knowing
how to make life choices
May be thrilled with newfound freedom
and act out
Letting go gradually may be best
(Positive-Parenting-Ally.com)
18. Putting parents in
perspective
Keep in mind:
College advisors have it easy
Most are well intentioned
What if it was your kid?
Big investment
They know their children better than we do
Ways to help “turn off the lawnmower”:
FERPA
Advisor-parent-student meeting
Summer orientation (skits, scenarios, expectations)
Parental policy/guidelines/tips
Address their concerns/fears
Encourage student through actions/your example/role
plays (Strauss, 2006)
19. Social comparison
Obvious in T&T
Winners
Various categories (beauty, talent, swimsuit, smile, etc.)
How does it relate to college students?
Class average
Friends‟ performance
Family/siblings
Choosing:
○ Classes/number of hours
○ Instructors
○ Majors/careers
○ Extracurriculars
How does it relate to us?
Promotions
Job titles
Work responsibilities
Office dynamics
Family/friends
(Elliot, 2005)
20. Taking a Strength-Based
Approach
a.k.a. Solution-Focused Approach:
“… explores current resources and future hopes
rather than present problems and past causes
…” (Iveson, 2002)
“It's not about what's missing and causes
woe, but what's present and can lead to
happiness” (PsychPage.com)
In what areas/ways does the student (or you)
excel?
Don‟t want to ignore problems, but shift focus to
self and what is being done to lead person to
goal
Campus/peer resources
21. Being judged/criticized
Obvious in T&T – they know what
they‟re getting into.
Not as obvious in college
Do students know what they‟re getting into?
Do we?
22. Judging students
In what ways are students judged? Who
judges them?
Competition from other students
Instructor‟s (perceived) opinion of them
Advisor‟s (perceived) opinion of them
Familial/cultural pressures
23. Judging advisors
In what ways are advisors judged? Who
judges them?
Co-workers‟ opinions
Supervisor‟s opinion
Students‟ opinions/feedback
○ Spring 08: “It would have been better to have more
accurate suggestions other than „up to you.‟”
○ Fall 09: “Just pointed to websites I had already
seen, awkward to talk to. Not very polite, needs work on
communication skills.”
Judged before school begins
24. Dealing with criticism
“When we are praised and
appreciated, we feel good about it. By
the same token, it is not unusual for us
to feel a bit
upset, annoyed, irritated, hurt or angry
for being criticized, rightly or wrongly.
These feelings are both normal and
appropriate.” (Lam, 2008)
25. Dealing with criticism
Things to keep in mind:
Criticism is a fact of life and is unavoidable.
Criticism is not an indication of one‟s self worth.
The benefits of being criticized far outweigh the
costs in terms of personal and professional
development and growth.
Refusing to accept it as a fact of life is a case of
wasting emotional energy and can damage
emotional and mental health.
We criticize other people; there is no logical reason
why they can‟t criticize us. (Lam, 2008)
26. Ways to help students … and
yourself
Look at situation from the judge‟s point of
view (any basis for criticism?)
Compare criticism to other things to gain
sense of perspective
Address the feelings that result from the
criticism
Remember - We can‟t please everyone
(Lam, 2008)
27. Encouragement
T&T – parents behind judges
Why is encouragement important?
Social support (don‟t feel as alone)
Gives us strength
Makes us feel valued
Where would you be today if you hadn‟t
been encouraged at some point in your
life?
28. Ways to encourage our
students
Touch (w/caution)
Look/smile
Positive words (examples help)
Follow up
Let them be themselves
29. Everybody‟s a winner
T & T - trophies, sashes, tiaras (various categories)
Make each of your students feel like a winner:
Greet them personally w/a smile
Don‟t keep them waiting (or explain yourself if you do)
LISTEN! (Stop talking, don‟t interrupt)
Don‟t rush
Eye contact (turn away from computer)
Open posture
Follow up when appropriate (email, phone call)
Advising notes (personal references)
Prizes (first 10 ppl to respond to FB post; 100th student to
our office today, etc.)
30. Why are your interactions with
students important?
“Most (college students) begin with a
combination of
enthusiasm, uncertainty, and a paradoxical
desire to be unique and to fit in. Without
strong coping skills to face these internal
and external pressures, today's college
students are walking combustibles, and
the competitive college environment is
often the igniting match.”
(Kadison & DiGeronimo, 2004)
31. Conclusion
Apply the info given today and you‟ll be
on your way to becoming an “Ultimate
Grand Supreme” Advisor!
Questions/comments?
Thank you for your attention and
participation!
32. Works Cited
Ambroziak, P. (2003, September/October). Tune in the Use of Music to Improve
Health and Performance. American Fitness, 21(5), 29-31.
Are You an Overly Involved Parent? [Interview with Dr. Alexandra Barzvi, Clinical
Director of the Anxiety and Mood Disorders Institute at the NYU Child Study
Center]. (n.d.). Retrieved February 3, 2012, from Education.com website:
http://www.education.com/reference/article/Ref_You_Overly_Involved/
Bhave, S. Y., & Saini, S. (2009). Anger Management (p. 112).
Birgitte. (n.d.). Helicopter Parents and Overprotective Parents: The Truth and
Sharp Essence of the Modern Phenomenon of Overparenting [Positive-
Parenting-Ally.com]. Retrieved December 16, 2011, from http://
www.positive-parenting-ally.com/helicopter-parents.html
Cohen, L. J. (2011). The Handy Psychology Answer Book. Retrieved from http://
www.lib.utexas.edu/
Dascomb, A., RDE. (n.d.). The Benefits of Dance [Informational chart]. Retrieved
December 16, 2011, from http://www.nrde.org/benefitsofdance.html
Iveson, C. (2002). Solution-focused brief therapy. Advances in Psychiatric
Treatment, 8, 149-156. Retrieved from http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/
8/2/149.full
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33. Works Cited
Kadison, R., & DiGeronimo, T. F. (2004). College of the Overwhelmed: The
Campus Mental Health Crisis and What to Do About It (p. 36).
Lam, D. C. (2008). Cognitive Behaviour Therapy: A Practical Guide to Helping
People Take Control.
Schrock, K. (2009, July/August). Why Music Moves Us. Scientific American Mind,
20(4), 32-37.
Schwarzer, R., & Frensch, P. A. (2010). Personality, Human Development, and
Culture (Vol. 2).
Shoenaker, T. (2011). Introduction. In R. J. Huber, J. Street, & S. Lose (Trans.),
Encouragement Makes Good Things Happen.
Solution Focused Therapy. (n.d.). Retrieved December 13, 2011, from http://
www.psychpage.com/family/library/sft.htm
Sperry, L. (2010). Core Competencies in Counseling and Psychotherapy:
Becoming a Highly Competent and Effective Therapist (p. 197).
Strauss, V. (2006, March 21). Putting Parents In Their Place: Outside Class.
Washington Post, p. A8. Retrieved from http://www.washingtonpost.com/
wp-dyn/content/article/2006/03/20/AR2006032001167.html
Wheeler, L., & Suls, J. (2005). Chapter 30: Social Comparision and Self-
Evaluations of Competence. In A. J. Elliot & C. S. Dweck (Eds.), Hanbook
of Competence and Motivation (p. 566). Retrieved from http://
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