Halloween is a scary and fun time for SEOs...until they realize their site is invaded by dangerous monsters. Get to know all of them here: http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
2. While you are getting ready for Halloween, a dozen
nasty monsters do evil stuff to your web-site.
Meet the monsters
Let’s see who they are and how to fight them!
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
3. TOTAL KAPUT
(BLACKOUT MONSTER)
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page not available (Error 4xx or 5xx)
What it does:
This monster loves apocalypses and
prophecies about the end of the world.
It is often found frolicking on websites
with major server response code errors
(4xx or 5xx).
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
4. TOTAL KAPUT
(BLACKOUT MONSTER)
What to do:
Make sure your web host has high
uptime rates and your website is
available most of the time (having a
200 HTTP response code would be
ideal).
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
5. REDIRECT
FOODIE
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page uses a redirect other than 301
What it does:
What looks confusing to the search
engines is paradise to this monster.
Redirect Foodie is sick and tired of
conscientious webmasters who always
use search engine-friendly redirects
(301s). “Give me variety!” it cries, and
preys on sites with something different
such as 302, 303 or 304 redirects.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
6. REDIRECT
FOODIE
What to do:
If you need to move a page to a new
location, be sure to use a 301 (moved
permanently) redirect. This way you
won’t see Redirect Foodie on your site.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
7. ANGRY BOUNCER
(MACHINE KILLER)
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page restricted from indexing
What it does:
Angry Bouncer displays rage against
search machines. It normally infects
websites that match its life philosophy
and restrict search engines from
indexing their webpages.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
8. ANGRY BOUNCER
(MACHINE KILLER)
What to do:
If you have a robots.txt file, make sure
the pages you want to appear in search
are open for indexing. Plus, ensure that
the code of your pages is free of
noindex meta tags.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
9. CENTIPEDE
MONSTROSITY
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page title is over 65 characters long
What it does:
This monster is naturally attracted to
webpages with titles as long as its
never-ending body. Indeed, birds of
feather flock together.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
10. CENTIPEDE
MONSTROSITY
What to do:
Keep the titles of your pages under 65
characters long (with spaces). This way
not only will you get rid of Centipede
Monstrosity, but also ensure your titles
are displayed in full in search results.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
11. BULLSHIT
SPINNER
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Too many external outgoing links
What it does:
This monster is an unconventional type
of arachnid that uses Internet links to
make its web. It is often found on
webpages with many outgoing links to
other sites which it can use as building
material.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
12. BULLSHIT
SPINNER
What to do:
Thing is, webpages with a large number
of external outgoing links don’t look too
good to search engines either. So, to
ward off the monster and to please
search engines, keep the number of
links to other domains to a minimum.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
13. INSANE
CHATTERBOX
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page meta description is over 165
characters long
What it does:
Don’t get this monster started, she is
insane! Chatterbox thinks meta
descriptions are people and you can
have conversations with them. And, the
longer a meta description is, the more
interesting it must be to converse with.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
14. INSANE
CHATTERBOX
What to do:
If your meta description is less than 165
characters long, it’s likely to present
little to no interest for Insane
Chatterbox. So keeping it short will help
you deal with this monster.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
15. META
PRETENDER
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page is missing meta title/description
What it does:
This monster thinks the shape of its
body resembles the letter “M”. Besides,
it has a secret dream of acting as meta
data one day. So, whenever it sees that
a webpage has no meta title or
description, it fills in the gap – hoping
you won’t notice.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
16. META
PRETENDER
What to do:
Be sure to create compelling, original
meta titles and meta descriptions for all
of your site’s pages. This will rob Meta
Pretender of its chance.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
17. INCOHERENT
JOE
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
No H1-H5 tags found on page
What it does:
Incoherent Joe hates clarity – that’s
how it got its name. And, not only does
it like being incomprehensible itself, but
also feels at home on websites that
make little sense because they lack
headings or subheadings (H1-H5 tags).
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
18. INCOHERENT
JOE
What to do:
The recipe to fighting this monster lies
in specifying H1-H5 tags on your
webpages. If Joe sees those in your
code, it will consider your site as boring
as Metropolitan Transportation usage
rules, and will stay away from it.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
19. FAT
MATT
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Page size overly large (>100 KB)
What it does:
Fat Matt’s motto in regards to cyber
food is “the more the better”. This
monster doesn’t really care what you
have on your site, as long as there is
plenty of stuff on it!
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
20. FAT
MATT
What to do:
Even though having a content-rich site
is a great thing in most cases, make
sure the size of your individual pages
doesn’t go over the top!
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
21. ONE-EYED
MONSTER
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Images missing alt text attributes
What it does:
One-Eyed Monster lost an eye in a street
fight years ago. So, what really irritates
this creature is when people specify
alternative text for their images, which
reminds it about its poor eye-sight.
Hence, it mostly dwells on sites with no
image alt texts where it can pretend to
see images perfectly with its one eye.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
22. ONE-EYED
HOW TO FIX
MONSTER
What to do:
A sure-fire way to get rid of One-Eyed
monster is to have alternative text
attributes specified for all your images.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
23. SKINNY
BONES
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Very few words on page
What it does:
Skinny Bones is an anorexic monster
that thinks dieting and losing weight are
the only two things worth doing in life.
So, it often starts living on sites that
don’t have many words on them.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
24. SKINNY
HOW TO FIX
BONES
What to do:
Rich textual content is a big turn-off for
this monster. If you have a lot of textual
information in the body of your page,
Skinny Bones isn’t likely to make
permanent residence there.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
25. Anti-SOCIAL
SUE
Stinkiness index:
Known as:
Very few social signals to page
What it does:
Anti-Social Sue is extremely shy. So, she
prefers to occupy websites that haven’t
been “liked” or shared on social media
that much (so that nobody ever finds
her).
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html
26. ANTI-SOCIAL
SUE
What to do:
Getting your webpages shared on such
websites as Facebook, Twitter and
Google+ will make your resource
unattractive for Anti-Social Sue.
http://webmeup.com/page-monsters.html