15. For e.g. instead of, The National Toy Manufacturers project is going well. I’ve made an appointment to see Grace Peters about working with us on the marketing survey, and Henry Iona told me yesterday he would be willing to pay for part of the research. Say, The National Toy Manufacturers project is going well. I’ve made an appointment to see Grace Peters about working with us on the marketing survey. Yesterday, …..
16.
17. For e.g. We attended the housewares show in Rockford on May 12 and 13. Over 120 dealers displayed their products and gave demonstrations. We talked with two kitchen ware dealers interested in our packaging ideas. I will follow up these leads when I return to the office on Monday. Can be changed to : On May 12 and 13 we attended the housewares show in Rockford. Over 120 dealers displayed their products and gave demonstrations. We talked with two kitchen ware dealers who seemed interested in our packaging ideas. When I return to the office on Monday, I’ll follow up these leads.