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Marriage ( 1 )
Staying Married ≄ Staying In Love
        Slides by: Timothy Chan, based on
     John Piper’s “This Momentary Marriage”
    & Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”
Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖   Today’s culture devalues or misunderstands marriage
    ❖ “Marriage is just a piece of paper”
    ❖ “Marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution”
    ❖ “Do you want to be single and lonely, or married
      and bored?” (Chris Rock, comedian) Many people
      believe these are indeed the only two options.
    ❖ Many say living together before marriage improves
      your chances of making a good marriage choice.
    ❖ Comment on a Yahoo forum: “I'm getting married
      next year because I love my fiancé. However, if
      things change, I won't hesitate to divorce him.”
Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖   New York Times: “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’
    Marriage” (Dec 2010)
    ❖ “... in modern relationships, people are looking for
      a partnership, and they want partners who make
      their lives more interesting ... help each of them
      attain valued goals.” (Tara Parker-Hope)
Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖   Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage:
    Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012)
    ❖ “Nothing in life is permanent. Yet with marriage,
      we expect ourselves to defy the laws of nature ...
      Wouldn't it be more meaningful if when entering a
      relationship, we accept the truth that it's going to
      end some day. Then we can attach with fewer
      expectations and value and learn from what is real”
Marriage In Today’s Culture
❖   Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage:
    Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012)
    ❖ “As an alternative to marriage, serial relationships
      and casual encounters constantly create new and
      unexpected challenges calling on us to reach more
      deeply in order to navigate the demands of
      different experiences.” (Stanley Siegel)
Marriage In “Entertainment” News
Your View Of Marriage
❖ (Q) Pick one of the above quotes/articles/images
  from today’s culture that devalues or misunderstands
  marriage. What is your response to it?
❖ (Q) Why did you decide to get married?
God’s View Of Marriage
❖ When Jesus gave a glimpse of the magnificent view
  of marriage that God designed for mankind, the
  disciples said to him: (Matt 19:10) “If such is the case
  of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
  ❖ In other words, God’s view of marriage is so
    different from ours, that the disciples could not
    even imagine it to be a good thing.
❖ Jesus answered them: (Matt 19:11) “Not everyone
  can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is
  given.”
God’s View Of Marriage
❖ “The  greatness and glory of marriage is beyond our
  ability to think or feel without divine revelation and
  without the illumining and awakening work of the
  Holy Spirit.” (John Piper)
❖ Two things we can say about marriage:
  1. The most foundational thing about marriage:
            Marriage is God’s invention
  2. The most ultimate thing about marriage:
            Marriage is for God’s glory
Foundation Of Marriage
❖   Marriage is God’s idea.
    ❖ The Bible begins with a marriage of Adam & Eve,
      and ends with a marriage of Christ and the church.
    ❖ (Gen 2:18) Then the LORD God said, “It is not
      good that the man should be alone; I will make
      him a helper fit for him.”
    ❖ (Gen 2:22) And the rib that the LORD God had
      taken from the man he made into a woman and
      brought her to the man.
    ❖ (Gen 2:24) Therefore a man shall leave his father
      and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they
      shall become one flesh.
Foundation Of Marriage
❖ Therefore, marriage is from God and through God.
  ❖ (Mark 10:9) What therefore God has joined
    together, let not man separate.
❖ “What God institutes he also regulates. If God
  invented marriage, then those who enter it should
  make every effort to understand and submit to his
  purposes for it.” (Tim Keller)
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ God designed marriage to be a temporary gift.
  Marriage only lasts in this life, and we will not be
  married to our spouses in heaven.
  ❖ (Mark 12:25) For when they rise from the dead,
    they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but
    are like angels in heaven.
❖ (Q) There is no human marriage after death. How
  does this shape your view of earthly marriage?
❖ The blessings we may receive in marriage – precious
  children, sexual intimacy, high romance – are to be
  held loosely, for they are not part of the next life.
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ Therefore, marriage is not an ends but a means. It is
  meant to be a “momentary” means that points
  toward an ends with “permanence.”
❖ Marriage is not just from God and through God, but
  it is ultimately for the glory of God.
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖   How is marriage being used to glorify God?
    ❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel.
    ❖ (Eph 5:31-32) “Therefore a man shall leave his
      father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and
      the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is
      profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ
      and the church.
    ❖ “The highest meaning and the most ultimate
      purpose of marriage is to put the covenant
      relationship of Christ and his church on
      display.” (John Piper)
Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage
❖ “Marriage    is not mainly about being or staying in
  love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our
  lives. It’s about portraying something true about
  Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It
  is about showing in real life the glory of the
  gospel.” (John Piper)
❖ (Q) What kind of picture is your marriage currently
  portraying to other people? How is Jesus and/or the
  gospel being displayed by the way you relate to your
  spouse?
Marriage Is A Covenant
❖ “Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about
  staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till
  death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is
  a sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus
  made with his bride when he died for her.” (John
  Piper)
Marriage Is A Covenant
❖ “Therefore,  what makes divorce and remarriage so
  horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves
  covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves
  misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will
  never leave his wife. Ever.” (John Piper)
  ❖ (Prov 2:17) [She] forsakes the companion of her
    youth and forgets the covenant of her God.
  ❖ “To break faith with your spouse is to break faith
    with God at the same time.” (Tim Keller)
❖ (Q) If Christ wants our marriages to reflect his
  loving union with us, his church, what changes
  might this inspire you to make in your marriage?
Summary of Study #1
❖ It’s impossible to understand the greatness of
  marriage without divine intervention.
❖ Marriage is God’s idea – it is from God and through
  God.
❖ There will not be human marriage in heaven –
  marriage is a momentary gift.
❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel, to display the
  loving union between Christ and his bride, the
  church.
❖ Staying married is not mainly about staying in love.
  It’s about keeping covenant.

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Marriage 1: Staying Married != Staying In Love

  • 1. Marriage ( 1 ) Staying Married ≄ Staying In Love Slides by: Timothy Chan, based on John Piper’s “This Momentary Marriage” & Tim Keller’s “The Meaning of Marriage”
  • 2. Marriage In Today’s Culture ❖ Today’s culture devalues or misunderstands marriage ❖ “Marriage is just a piece of paper” ❖ “Marriage is an archaic and oppressive institution” ❖ “Do you want to be single and lonely, or married and bored?” (Chris Rock, comedian) Many people believe these are indeed the only two options. ❖ Many say living together before marriage improves your chances of making a good marriage choice. ❖ Comment on a Yahoo forum: “I'm getting married next year because I love my fiancé. However, if things change, I won't hesitate to divorce him.”
  • 3. Marriage In Today’s Culture ❖ New York Times: “The Happy Marriage Is the ‘Me’ Marriage” (Dec 2010) ❖ “... in modern relationships, people are looking for a partnership, and they want partners who make their lives more interesting ... help each of them attain valued goals.” (Tara Parker-Hope)
  • 4. Marriage In Today’s Culture ❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage: Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012) ❖ “Nothing in life is permanent. Yet with marriage, we expect ourselves to defy the laws of nature ... Wouldn't it be more meaningful if when entering a relationship, we accept the truth that it's going to end some day. Then we can attach with fewer expectations and value and learn from what is real”
  • 5. Marriage In Today’s Culture ❖ Psychology Today: “The Case Against Marriage: Marriage Does More Harm Than Good” (Jan 2012) ❖ “As an alternative to marriage, serial relationships and casual encounters constantly create new and unexpected challenges calling on us to reach more deeply in order to navigate the demands of different experiences.” (Stanley Siegel)
  • 7. Your View Of Marriage ❖ (Q) Pick one of the above quotes/articles/images from today’s culture that devalues or misunderstands marriage. What is your response to it? ❖ (Q) Why did you decide to get married?
  • 8. God’s View Of Marriage ❖ When Jesus gave a glimpse of the magnificent view of marriage that God designed for mankind, the disciples said to him: (Matt 19:10) “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.” ❖ In other words, God’s view of marriage is so different from ours, that the disciples could not even imagine it to be a good thing. ❖ Jesus answered them: (Matt 19:11) “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.”
  • 9. God’s View Of Marriage ❖ “The greatness and glory of marriage is beyond our ability to think or feel without divine revelation and without the illumining and awakening work of the Holy Spirit.” (John Piper) ❖ Two things we can say about marriage: 1. The most foundational thing about marriage: Marriage is God’s invention 2. The most ultimate thing about marriage: Marriage is for God’s glory
  • 10. Foundation Of Marriage ❖ Marriage is God’s idea. ❖ The Bible begins with a marriage of Adam & Eve, and ends with a marriage of Christ and the church. ❖ (Gen 2:18) Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ❖ (Gen 2:22) And the rib that the LORD God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. ❖ (Gen 2:24) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
  • 11. Foundation Of Marriage ❖ Therefore, marriage is from God and through God. ❖ (Mark 10:9) What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate. ❖ “What God institutes he also regulates. If God invented marriage, then those who enter it should make every effort to understand and submit to his purposes for it.” (Tim Keller)
  • 12. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage ❖ God designed marriage to be a temporary gift. Marriage only lasts in this life, and we will not be married to our spouses in heaven. ❖ (Mark 12:25) For when they rise from the dead, they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. ❖ (Q) There is no human marriage after death. How does this shape your view of earthly marriage? ❖ The blessings we may receive in marriage – precious children, sexual intimacy, high romance – are to be held loosely, for they are not part of the next life.
  • 13. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage ❖ Therefore, marriage is not an ends but a means. It is meant to be a “momentary” means that points toward an ends with “permanence.” ❖ Marriage is not just from God and through God, but it is ultimately for the glory of God.
  • 14. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage ❖ How is marriage being used to glorify God? ❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel. ❖ (Eph 5:31-32) “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. ❖ “The highest meaning and the most ultimate purpose of marriage is to put the covenant relationship of Christ and his church on display.” (John Piper)
  • 15. Ultimate Purpose Of Marriage ❖ “Marriage is not mainly about being or staying in love. It’s mainly about telling the truth with our lives. It’s about portraying something true about Jesus Christ and the way he relates to his people. It is about showing in real life the glory of the gospel.” (John Piper) ❖ (Q) What kind of picture is your marriage currently portraying to other people? How is Jesus and/or the gospel being displayed by the way you relate to your spouse?
  • 16. Marriage Is A Covenant ❖ “Staying married, therefore, is not mainly about staying in love. It is about keeping covenant. “Till death do us part” or “As long as we both shall live” is a sacred covenant promise – the same kind Jesus made with his bride when he died for her.” (John Piper)
  • 17. Marriage Is A Covenant ❖ “Therefore, what makes divorce and remarriage so horrific in God’s eyes is not merely that it involves covenant-breaking to the spouse, but that it involves misrepresenting Christ and his covenant. Christ will never leave his wife. Ever.” (John Piper) ❖ (Prov 2:17) [She] forsakes the companion of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. ❖ “To break faith with your spouse is to break faith with God at the same time.” (Tim Keller) ❖ (Q) If Christ wants our marriages to reflect his loving union with us, his church, what changes might this inspire you to make in your marriage?
  • 18. Summary of Study #1 ❖ It’s impossible to understand the greatness of marriage without divine intervention. ❖ Marriage is God’s idea – it is from God and through God. ❖ There will not be human marriage in heaven – marriage is a momentary gift. ❖ Marriage exists to re-enact the gospel, to display the loving union between Christ and his bride, the church. ❖ Staying married is not mainly about staying in love. It’s about keeping covenant.

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