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DEVELOPING AND
MAINTAINING RELATIONSHIPS
REAL COMMUNICATIONS
by Dan O’Hair AND Mary Wiemann

Wednesday, October 16, 13
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Two individuals
interconnect and are
interdependent
through relationships.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Interpersonal
communication is the
exchange of verbal and
nonverbal messages
between people who
have a relationship and
are influenced by a
partner’s message.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Your relational network
is a web of
relationships that
connect individuals.
family
friendship
love
online friendship

Wednesday, October 16, 13
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Friendship is a close
and caring relationship
between two people
that is mutually
beneficial and
satisfying.
available
caring
honest
confidential
loyal
empathic
Wednesday, October 16, 13
INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS
Love is a relationship
which you have deep
affection, passion, and
commitment.
eros
ludus
storge
pragma
mania
agape
Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
To satisfy basic human
needs...
We have a need for
companionship, to
involve others in our
lives, and to be
involved in other’s
lives, or inclusion.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
To satisfy basic human
needs...
We have an innate
need for intellectual,
emotional, and
physical stimulation.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
To satisfy basic human
needs...
We might enter into
relationships in order
to fulfill a goal,
whether emotional or
practical.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??

Proximity
Physical attractiveness
Similarity

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
Attraction-similarity
hypothesis
The extent to
which we project
ourselves to others
is a direct result of
the attraction we
feel toward them.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
Matching hypothesis
We seek
relationships with
those that have
comparable levels
of attractiveness.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIPS...WHY??
Genetic-similarity
hypothesis
We tend to form
relationships with
those of the same
ethnic group due to
greater genetic
similarity.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
Social exchange of costs
and benefits means that
you accept the good
with the bad.
Rewards are the things
that benefit you.
Costs are the things
that upset you.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
Uncertainty reduction
theory says that when two
people meet, they try to
decrease the uncertainty
between them.
monitoring
proactive strategies

indirect strategies

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
Relational dialectics
theory is experiencing
contradicting or
opposing feelings
about your partner
and about the
relationship.
Dialectical tensions

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS
Dialectical tensions
when you have
conflicting goals.
autonomy vs.
connection
openness vs.
closedness
predictability vs.
novelty
Wednesday, October 16, 13
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION
Social penetration theory
When people move
from a superficial
level in a
relationship to a
more intimate level.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION
Communication privacy
management theory
Describes how you
perceive
information about
yourself and how
you disclose or
protect it.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
WITHHOLDING INFORMATION
Strategic topic avoidance
is used to maneuver the
conversation away from
undesirable topics.

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
Initiating stage
Exploratory stage
Intensification stage
Stable stage
partners are
integrating and
bonding
Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
Declining stage when
things fall apart.
uncertainty events
interference
unmet
expectations

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
Repair tactics
improving
communication
focus on the
positive
reinterpreting
behaviors with a
more balanced
view
Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
Termination stage
fading of the
relationship
death

Wednesday, October 16, 13
RELATIONSHIP STAGES
Reconciliation
spend more time
together
mediation
civil resolution
don’t give up
mutual interaction
miss each other
Wednesday, October 16, 13

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Book review ch6