2. SACRED SPACE a conversation for those who companion the grieving
May 14th, 2012
Janna Copeland,B.A., M.Div., NSMPCN Simcoe Funeral Home
Amy Pritzker, B.A./B.S.W., Hospice Orillia 38 James St. Orillia
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
3. When we honestly ask ourselves which persons in our
lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those
who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have
chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds
with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be
silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who
can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement,
who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing
and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is
a friend who cares...
henri nouwen
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
4. LOSS
is the empty chair
grief is the emotion we feel as a result of loss
❀ involves the process that helps us adapt to the changes
involved with that loss
❀ involves the perceptions of our loss
mourning is what we do to express our grief...
❀ external expressions/actions
❀ involves rituals, acts of remembrance
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
6. The Tasks of Mourning
To accept the reality of the loss.
To experience the pain of grief.
To adjust to the ‘new reality’.
To withdraw emotional energy from the ‘old reality’ and reinvest
that energy in other relationships and activities.
William Worden, Ph.D. - Grief Counsel & Grief Therapy, 2nd Edition, Springer, 1991
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
7. The Mourner’s 6 Reconciliation Needs
Receiving Ongoing support Acknowledging the reality of
from others the loss
Embracing the pain of the
Searching for meaning
loss
Remembering the person
Developing a New Self-identity
who died (or talking about
the loss), or reflecting on
memories
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
9. characteristics of grief
FORGETFULNESS- Missed appointments, keys locked in car,
leaving things behind
DISORGANIZATION - It may longer to perform tasks, you may
misplace things, not manage time well
INABILITY TO CONCENTRATE/RETAIN INFORMATION - difficulty
focusing on a task, reading a book, watching tv.
PREOCCUPATION WITH THE LOSS - wandering thoughts,
distracted.
LACK OF INTEREST/MOTIVATION - things don’t matter as much.
LOWERED TOLERANCE LEVEL - lack of patience, may have more
conflict with others, may be irritable.
CHRONIC FATIGUE - grief is exhausting, stressful & hard work
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
10. things to remember...
Grief isn’t just emotional - it also affects us physically, spiritually, relationally
and mentally, and it is exhausting.
❀
Oftentimes physicians will prescribe medications to help relieve the
symptoms of anxiety, panic and sleeplessness. This is common.
❀
There is no timeline for grief. It takes as long as it takes
❀
Grief can cloud our judgment and our ability to make decisions.
It is best not to make any important decisions for at least a year following a
dramatic loss.
❀
Lots of rest, exercise, proper nutrition are essential while one is grieving.
❀
Take care of yourself, and try to avoid drugs/alcohol as they only mask the
pain...it is still there to be dealt with.
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
11. "When a person is born we rejoice,
and when they're married
we jubilate,
but when they die,we try to pretend
nothing has happened.."
Margaret Mead
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
12. CHALLENGES TO
CREATING A
SACRED SPACE
Wednesday, 16 May, 12
