Description of the kind of romantic relationships popular in American Culture. The aspects are Dating, Cohabitation, Marriage (Ceremony and Meaning), Same-sex marriage, and Divorce.

1. Culture is an important aspect when considering communication. Different cultures have
different types of communication patterns, owing to their social norms and societal structure.
What is respectful in one culture may be considered rude in another. For instance, the
practice of pre-marital sex or being a ‘single mother’ is not considered derogatory in the
American culture, but is looked down upon in the Indian culture. While American culture is
liberal and individualistic, the Indian culture is more conservative and communistic.
Likewise, Romantic relationships are seen in different ways in different cultures, and
Americans are the most open-minded regarding them.
***
Teenage dating among Americans is quite common. Dating is a tricky subject, especially
when it comes to teenagers, as good advice is needed for the young teens. However, in the
American society, dating is supposed to be fun and memorable. Americans do not consider
dating as a crucial issue. They believe that teenagers, being young, are still evolving as a
person, and need to go through different kinds of experiences in life on their own.
Dating is considered to be a healthy social norm in the American society because they believe
that through numerous different dates, a person will be able to get more insight into the
opposite sex, and it will help in their self-development as well. For example, a person who is
dating will have to learn about what he/she wants and needs as an individual. For Americans,
dating is good for young teens to experience but of course taking a slow and easy course is
important. According to the American culture, it is good for young teens to date, because
when they are getting older, they will eventually evolve into serious relationships. They
believe that teens shouldn’t burden themselves when they are young due to the kind of
commitment they’ll need as a grown up once they are in a serious relationship.
Furthermore, the concept of “one night stand” is very common and widely ‘accepted’ among
young teens in America. When people are upset or stressed about something, they tend to go
to a pub and drink alcohol just to put off things behind their minds. Well, alcohol leads to
risky behaviour and that’s what makes them even more prone and vulnerable to a one night
stand (sex) with a stranger or a friend. Most young teens experience this, and while “one
night stand” is so popular in America, the American society accepts this act with safety
precautions.

2. Besides, most teens in America tend to ‘show off’ by drinking alcohol and getting drunk.
They like to prove that they are more ‘cool’ and dominant in the society, especially in a
college or university environment. In America, the advancement of birth control programmes
laid down by organizations may be another factor for the popularity of dating and sex.
Dating process is so lenient in the American society because of the many television
programs, dating sites, and other widespread exposure to the sexual content on media. “In
today’s television programming, sexual content is commonplace, from daytime soap operas
(which are quite popular with adolescents) to primetime broadcast. (Turner 2003, p.32). This
media culture cultivates the mind-sets of teenagers and causes them to have premarital sex
during their dating period.
Also, when American teenagers attain the age sixteen, they are expected to be more
independent and they are seen to have less parental control over their activities. This makes
dating easier for them as they do not have to get permissions from their parents. Moreover,
America being a free country, freedom of speech and free sex is practiced widely making
dating more lenient for the American teenagers with less punishment sentencing in the
country’s laws.
***
One of the popular aspects of romantic relationships in the American culture is ‘living
together’ or Cohabitation. Cohabitation is as an intimate relationship between two unmarried
individuals who share the same living space. Traditionally, the circle of relationship for an
American is Dating, Engagement, and then Marriage. However, in the recent years, the
pattern has increasingly changed to Dating, Cohabitation, and then Marriage. Overtime, the
culture in America has experienced many changes at various stages such as in 1920s – the
development of industry and women’s education, 1950s – the development becoming
inverse, and 1970s – the new civil rights laws and affirmative action policies. Till today, with
a very dynamic culture, social norms in America have transformed from what used to be
prohibited to what is now acceptable.
Today, cohabitation is widely accepted in America. Americans view cohabitation as a
relationship of convenience, especially in economic terms. For instance, typically the white
collar classes work from 9.00 to 5.00 pm while their partners may work in a different
environment such as a nurse who works from 3.00 to 9.00 pm, making it an extremely

3. difficult and frustrating task for them to make time for each other. Thus, by moving in
together and sharing a house, they resolve this challenge and save costs. Besides that,
cohabitation is also viewed by Americans as a way to reduce the rate of divorce, especially
for those individuals who have no confidence in commitment and tying the knot.
Furthermore, behavior of partners in cohabiting relationships is inclined towards trust as they
commit mentally and physically to their partners without assurance, and thus usually try to be
understanding towards their partners. However, the behavior of partners in cohabiting
relationships is quite different from that of married couples. “Studies have shown that
cohabitation is a less integrated union than marriage” (Zhang 2007, p.01). The level of
responsibility is also different in cohabitation and marriage. “While cohabiting men and
married men spend similar time on housework, cohabiting women spend significantly less
time on housework than married women” (Zhang, p.2).
The main reason that leads Americans to cohabitation is the want and desire for their partner.
They prefer cohabitation over marriage because many Americans perceive the loss of
freedom after marriage. To them, marriage certificate is just a piece of paper or just a
lifestyle. They feel that by living together, the commitment of love to each other can also be
proved, without any potential burden such as merging of financial assets. Moreover,
American children are usually required to move out from their parents’ home at the age of 18
as parents want their children to be independent and live their own life, which also causes the
children to cohabitate with their love interest. American media also plays a role in this type of
thinking – for both the parents and children. There are a lot of American TV shows and
movies that promote living together before marriage, and similarly many that show parents
ushering children to move away, such as in the drama series Desperate Housewives.
***
American weddings are usually simple and classy yet they can also be unique to the marrying
couple. Traditional American marriages take place in a church where the family and friends
of the bride and the groom attend the ceremony to celebrate their union. However, some
couples also conduct their ceremony on beaches, chapels, or even gardens, to make their big
day special and memorable. Whatever location the couples choose, some of the customs and
traditions stay with them despite the exclusive way in which they plan their wedding
ceremony.

4. According to American tradition, the bride’s family usually pays for the wedding ceremony,
chooses or makes the cake, houses the wedding, designs the dress, creates a good trousseau,
and decorates the venue. However, changes in economy have now forced couples to share the
cost of weddings (Ingram, 1999). Many studies have shown that women are more heavily
involved in every arrangement of the wedding, often referred to as “kin work”, while the
males handle other important tasks such as ensuring a home for the new bride, and enough
finances to keep her safe and happy.
Traditionally, there are rituals such as ‘giving the bride away’ since she is considered the
property of her parents, and her ‘ownership’ is passed on to the groom and his family when
the officiator asks “Who gives this woman away.” There are several other rituals in the
wedding as well, such as the ring exchange between the couple, their first kiss, their first
dance together at the reception, and the attendant throwing rice at the couple in hopes of a life
full of happiness and prosperity for them.
The ideal American wedding is the Judeo-Christian “White Wedding” in which everything is
generally white – from the bride’s dress to the venue decoration. One of the most important
rituals in an American wedding is the white wedding dress of the bride, usually purchased by
the bride’s family or the bride herself. The wedding cake is also is usually white and
symbolizes caring and nurturance between the couple. The groom and the bride cut the cake
together during the reception and exchange bites of the cake which is the first act of them as a
married couple.
Superstition is a basis for most rituals in an American wedding. The most common
superstition is that exposure between the bride and groom before the wedding, and the groom
seeing the bride’s wedding dress, would cause bad luck in their life. Also, Americans believe
that the bridal veil and the bridesmaids surrounding the bride protect the bride from evil
spirits.
In the American culture, marriage is an agreement between the couple and God for a happier
life together, and the priest is only the medium through which the agreement takes place.
Whether it takes place on a beach or in a garden with very few numbers of people, it is not
odd for Americans as they believe that the couple has all the power they need to make their
marriage last through their love for each other and not a lavish wedding ceremony.
***

5. The American culture believes marriage to be a social institution that defines the relationship
between a man and a woman. Nonetheless, over the past few decades, this has changed as
marriage has undergone a process of deinstitutionalization – a weakening of the social norms
that define the partners’ behaviors (Cherlin 2004, p.848). Previously, the role of the woman
as the homemaker and the man as the breadwinner in a marriage had been quite clear.
However, since the late twentieth century, these roles have diminished as more women
entered paid employment. Unlike the time when married women in America used to be
housewives, the current American society supports the viewpoint that both genders are equal
and should have equal opportunities at work and home. Thus, women get educated and build
a career, but in the process they may also be neglecting their family life.
Besides, marriage used to be a major premise to bear children and carry on the family lineage
initially in the American culture. This has changed now though, as childbearing outside of
marriage has risen to 1 out of 3 births in the United States (U.S. National Center for Health
Statistics, 2003) showing that marriage has lost its significance as a setting for childbearing in
the American culture. This may have been due to the fact that couples are now cohabitating
rather than getting married, or because the idea that a woman needs a man to support a child
is fading, as women become more independent in America.
Also, this deinstitutionalization of marriage has caused a transition from a companionate to
individualized marriage in the American society. When Americans evaluate their satisfaction
with their marriages, they focus on individualized rewards such as personal choice and self-
development rather than the satisfaction gained through being a spouse and a parent. Their
partner’s satisfaction is not central in their marriage anymore, but their own emotions are.
The main gain to marriage for them is the public commitment to a long-term relationship
which provides them with security and stability, and reduces their fear of abandonment.
Even though the practical importance of marriage to Americans has declined, marriage still
holds a symbolic significance for them. They carry on the tradition of marriage as it has been
established by their ancestors, and yet it has evolved from a marker of conformity to a marker
of prestige (Cherlin 2004, p.858). However, as opposed to the past where marriage was an
alliance between two kinship groups in America, it has now become an event centered around
and controlled by the couple, having little to do with familial approval. A huge number of
Americans are willing to spend a lot on their wedding ceremonies to make a statement to the
society that they have passed a milestone in their life. The wedding has almost become a

6. ‘proof’ of the partners’ personal achievements and of a stage in their self-development. They
now see marriage as a status symbol, hoping to display their attainment of a stable, secure,
and respectable life through their wedding.
***
The controversial issue of same-sex relationships has been around for years. Cultures around
the world react differently towards same-sex relationships. There are many who support them
and many who oppose them as well. The American society is one that is quite liberal when it
comes to this issue.
Same-sex marriage is not something new in the American society, as since the 1970’s there
had been quite a few same-sex couples who tried to legalize their marriages, but during that
time they were refused and banned. Until now, only a total of six states – Connecticut, Iowa,
Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York and Vermont – allow and legalize same-sex
unions, though same-sex dating is unofficially accepted all over the United States. In today’s
American society, people have become more lenient towards same-sex couples and as a
result, these couples have now become bolder to reveal their identity as a homosexual. In
fact, there are quite a number of gay and lesbian festivals each year in America, and
movements and organizations to support gay and lesbian rights have also increased there.
These are the proof of the level of tolerance American society has towards same-sex couples.
However, culture is greatly affected by religion as well, and many religions prohibit same-sex
unions, as same-sex marriages are considered a sin by them. American culture is largely
populated by the Christian religion, which does not really support homosexuality. Example of
a commonly quoted piece of scripture to argue against homosexuality and same-sex marriage
is found in 1 Corinthians 6: 9-10,
“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be
deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers not male
prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor
slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God (1988, 1300).”
In mid-70’s, states in the USA only recognized marriage between a man and a woman, based
on the Bible, although today the American culture has modernized. The American society has
grown and become much more tolerant and accepting towards the same-sex couples.

7. Nevertheless, there are still only a few numbers of liberal and progressive religions that allow
and accept same-sex marriages.
So, the majorities of the states in the USA do not allow same-sex marriages, though the
unmarried same-sex couples are not unusual and are not considered derogatory by the
American society. Movements that support same-sex marriage legalization are increasing and
growing gradually, and they are fighting for the marriage equality of straight-couples and
same-sex couples by law. However, no significant research has directly investigated the
effects of marriage equality on the well-being of lesbians and gay men in the United States,
and marriage equality itself is a relatively new concept (Wolfson 2004). Many Americans
also think that homosexuality is a part of human rights, and many petitions are recently
undergoing review by law in the United States. Ultimately, it cannot be denied that America
is one of the most accepting cultures towards homosexuality in the world.
***
As seen, different types of romantic relationships – dating, cohabitation, marriage, same-sex
couples –are very common among Americans. However, America also tends to record a very
high divorce rate. According to American Psychological Association (2012), about 40 to 50
per cent of married couples in the United States go through divorce. There are several factors
which have the potential to cause divorce such as young age, less education, less income,
premarital cohabitation, no religious affiliation, divorced parents, premarital childbearing and
insecurity, which has been clarified by Dr. William H. Doherty. These factors are only the
basic ones to affect the divorce rates which are still at their peak.
The general perspective towards Divorce in American society is quite indifferent. As opposed
to some other more conservative cultures, a divorced man or woman is not looked down upon
in the American culture. Just like in marriage, people believe in individualism – focusing on
self-satisfaction. So, if a partner is not satisfied with their marriage, they are free to file for
Divorce, and the American society does not regard them with aversion.
According to Paul R. Amato from The Pennsylvania State University (2003), former
husbands and wives are more likely to blame their ex-spouses than themselves for the
problems that lead to the divorce. On the other hand, Porterfield (1996, p.6) believes that
marriages end for many reasons. Sometimes two people change and grow apart over time.
Their goals, values, and interests simply aren’t the same as they were when they got married.

8. While some couples might agree to work through their differences and remain together,
others decide compromise isn’t possible. They feel they would be more content either living
on their own or in a relationship with another person. This is clearly something rather
afflicting because divorce doesn’t only affect husbands and wives but also their children and
the whole family institution. For children and teenagers, the emotions involved in a divorce
can be complex and confusing. They are likely to feel both sadness about and anger towards
their parents (Presma and Edelson 1999, p.45). Hence, they have the tendency to suffer a loss
of confidence. This shows that divorce causes rather adverse effects in the American society,
especially on the concept of family, similar to many other cultures around the world.
However, the exclusiveness of the American culture is that the divorce couples in the
American society deal with this issue with a rather open mind instead of holding grudges
towards each other. Moreover, they are more interested in focusing on building a new life
after the divorce such as getting remarried. They believe in leaving behind the past and
moving forward. According to Eshleman (1998, p. 558) the United States has the highest
remarriage rate in the world. According to studies, over 40 per cent of marriages in the
United States are remarriages for one or both partners. Thus, it can be said that American
society is less conservative and their culture does not practice traditionalism, as compared to
the rest of the world.
***
In conclusion, American culture is a very liberal culture and it has experienced many changes
through time. Traditionalism has slowly faded away for the American society over the years,
and it has accepted different kinds and aspects of romantic relationships faster than any other
cultures in the world. One can even call the American society to be the most modernized
today. However, despite their liberal nature, they haven’t completely let go of their traditional
values which can be seen in the fact that only six states in the US legalize same-sex marriage
still, or that they still follow certain ancestral rituals in their wedding ceremony.
***

9. Reference List:
Amato, PR 2003, ‘People’s Reasons for Divorcing: Gender, Social Class, the Life Course,
and Adjustment’, Journal of Family Issues, vol. 24, no. 5, pp. 602-626.
Baker, B 2010, ‘Same-Sex Marriage and Religion: An Inappropriate Relationship’, e-
Research: A Journal of Undergraduate Work, vol. 1, no. 3, p.189-205.
Buckley, E 2006, A Cross-Culture Study of Wedding through Media and Ritual: Analyzing
Indian and North American Weddings, viewed 1 October 2012,
<http://scholarworks.gvsu.edu/mcnair/vol10/iss1/3>.
Cherlin, AJ 2004, ‘The Deinstitutionalization of American Marriage’, Journal of Marriage
and Family, vol. 66, no. 4, pp. 848-861.
Coast, E 2009, Currently Cohabitating: Relationship Attitudes, Expectations and Outcomes,
viewed 4 October 2012,
<http://eprints.lse.ac.uk/23986/1/Currently_cohabiting_(LSERO).pdf>.
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Cooperative Extension, viewed 5 October 2012,
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10. Presma, F & Edelson, P 1999, Straight talk about today’s families, Facts On File Inc, New
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