1) The session discusses the difference between white-knuckle change and real change in terms of sexual sobriety, emphasizing the need to understand physiology and structure one's life with meaningful relationships. 2) An example is given of confession and accountability, referring to self-differentiation from those who love us conditionally. 3) The next three sessions will focus on the physiology of sexual addiction in the brain. Participants are assigned to identify someone to confess to and seek accountability from.

1. Session 4: X3pure Men’s Series
Confession & Accountability

2. Review

3. Review
Unwanted Sexual Behavior
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4. Review
Unwanted Sexual Behavior
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White-Knuckle Change Real Change
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Abstinence Understanding of Physiology
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Relapse Abstinence
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Acceptance of Conditional Love
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Pursuit of Unconditional Love

5. Confession and Accountability

6. Confession and Accountability
• White Knuckle Change vs. Real Change

7. Confession and Accountability
• White Knuckle Change vs. Real Change
- We need to be on the real change side of the Sexual Sobriety Map.

8. Confession and Accountability
• White Knuckle Change vs. Real Change
- We need to be on the real change side of the Sexual Sobriety Map.
- We need to be looking at how our lives are structured.

9. Confession and Accountability
• White Knuckle Change vs. Real Change
- We need to be on the real change side of the Sexual Sobriety Map.
- We need to be looking at how our lives are structured.
- Who is in them?

10. Confession and Accountability
• White Knuckle Change vs. Real Change
- We need to be on the real change side of the Sexual Sobriety Map.
- We need to be looking at how our lives are structured.
- Who is in them?
- What meaning life ultimately has for us, not just physical ways of stopping
the behavior.

11. Confession and Accountability

12. Confession and Accountability
• Terry’s Example

13. Confession and Accountability

14. Confession and Accountability
• Someone you trust with the hard truths,
realities and struggles of your recovery

15. Confession and Accountability
• Someone you trust with the hard truths,
realities and struggles of your recovery
• Self-differentiation

16. Confession and Accountability
• Someone you trust with the hard truths,
realities and struggles of your recovery
• Self-differentiation
- Why did Terry want to use pornography in the first place?

17. Next 3 Sessions

18. Next 3 Sessions
• Focus on the physiology of sexual addiction

19. Next 3 Sessions
• Focus on the physiology of sexual addiction
- What happens in the brain when we use, or want to use, the object of
our addiction?

20. Self Differentiation

21. Self Differentiation
• An ability to see yourself as separate from
those people or groups of people in your life
who love you conditionally, which means that
they don’t just love you for who you are (warts
and all), but love you only if you act or behave
in a certain way.

22. Confession & Accountability

23. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.

24. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...

25. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister

26. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister
- An uncle or aunt

27. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister
- An uncle or aunt
- A close friend

28. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister
- An uncle or aunt
- A close friend
- Your wife

29. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister
- An uncle or aunt
- A close friend
- Your wife
- A church friend or church leader

30. Confession & Accountability
• Understand that to begin on your journey of
real change you need to have the beginnings
of unconditional support.
• This could be...
- A mother, father, brother or sister
- An uncle or aunt
- A close friend
- Your wife
- A church friend or church leader
- A counselor or therapist.

31. Assignment

32. Assignment
• Figure out whom you can confess to and from
from whom to seek accountability.

33. Assignment
• Figure out whom you can confess to and from
from whom to seek accountability.
• Remember that God created us for community
and it is when we are in a community of
unconditional love that we begin to thrive and
become the best we can be.