1. Six Steps to Relationship Recovery-Get it Out Girl <br />Step 1Get It Out!!Plan of Action* Share your Story* Create “What I will NOT Forget List”* Write “Dear Narc Letter”* Write “Dear Me Letter”Step 2Understanding Narcissism* Knowledge is Power!Step 3Establishing NO CONTACT* What is No Contact?* Why is it Important?* Coping StrategiesStep 4Accepting It* Create “What I Can Control List”* Create “What I Can Not Control List”* Saying Goodbye by writing the Narcissists EulogyStep 5Find an Outlet * Choose and Outlet for your Feelings* Create/Give expression to your Feelings* Release Anger, Fear and Pain<br />Step 6Live in the Now* Understanding the Power of the Present * Create a Gratitude List<br />Stages Of Recovery<br />1. The Last Straw<br />This is the stage when you have hit your rock bottom due to your experience with the Narcissist. You are in a state of duress. You may suffer from severe depression and anxiety. May feel exhausted and lethargic. You become withdrawn and begin spending your days hours and minutes obsessing over the loss of the relationship you thought you had and trying to come to grips with the fact that it was all a false charade in the end anyway.<br />2. The Awakening.<br />This is your first realization that you were in an abusive relationship. You go on a quest for the answers that have plagued you and caused so much mental anguish.You come across the topic of personality disorders and low and behold you find the topic of Narcissism.You look and the list of symptoms and realized that the person you adored and revered matches every one!You spend exhaustive amounts of time educating yourself and researching everything you can find on Narcissism. The pieces of the puzzle begin to fit. You have some relief in the knowledge you have attained yet you are grief stricken by the fact that it is non curable and progressive. Deep inside you understand the finality of it all. This is the beginning of recovery. Your senses are keen and you analyze every action, every word and every tactical games they play. If you have not already been discarded by the Narcissist himself, you may not quite be ready to let go physically, but the process has begun psychologically in the subconscious. <br />3. The Rage Stage;<br />Now your consumed by anger and rage. You have a basic concept and understanding of the disorder but you are furious that he could be so callous, uncaring manipulative, and destructive. Your playing volleyball in your mind with the rage that he has power and control over his behaviors and therefore he should make it right, anger directed at yourself for tolerating the abuse for so long, anger at those around that are involved with him/her and supporting their abusive behaviors, Anger at family and friends for their lack of support. Your anger may cause you to take actions you may have not otherwise taken. Your in a state of euphoria.Unable to control your obsessive and intrusive thoughts. Difficulty with sleeping, eating and otherwise normal daily activities. <br />4. Taking my life back stage:<br />Now you are on a mission. You know that you must take action in order to combat the force of the Narcissist. You begin taking a look at all the information you have attained and formulate a game plan. You understand that the ultimate plan is no contact and are reaching the level of comfort needed to achieve this. Once you cross over and make that life changing commitment to remain No Contact. the fear that you once had of not pleasing the Narcissist and him leaving you or devaluing you, turns to fear of him affecting or destroying your new found freedom in recovery. You realize that in No Contact stage you are slowly shifting the focus from quot;
Himquot;
to quot;
youquot;
. Your moments of emotional freedom become greater and greater. You are at the beginning of seeing new found happiness and joy in life. Those obsessive and intrusive thoughts begin to lessen. You are starting to feel comfortable again in your own skin. You May take on new venture, hobbies or projects that you might otherwise not undertaken.<br />5. The Im Alive Stage:<br />Now you have the wings of an eagle to sore with, Your awareness has launched you into another dimension that has profoundly made an impact on your life. You engage in activity's that build your self esteem and self awareness. You are sharing your knowledge and wisdom with others in order to help them find this place of peace that you have found. You no longer waste your brain power on trivial matters such as the exN. No more hours of obsessing on who he is with, does he love me, did he ever love me, will he love me again, on and on and on...Its over now. You wake up, start your day refreshed and ready to tackle the world. You realize that the most important person in your life is you. You take full responsibly for your happiness and your recovery. You have gratitude that you found a plan that works, have empathy for those still suffering and pay forward the gift you have been given.Now you are fully alive.<br />