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1© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
2© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRING ME THE DEV AND THE OPS
TEAMS. THEY WILL ALL SUFFER
FOR THIS OUTAGE.
3© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY
I KNOW WHERE THE LOGS ARE
LOCATED, AND I WILL USE THEM
AGAINST YOU.
4© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDE, WHERE’S MY
CONFIG FILE?
5© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND I THOUGHT,
OH LORD! THEY
STILL DEPLOY
MANUALLY.
6© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’LL DO THAT POST-MORDEM
RIGHT AFTER I CHANGE MY SHOES
7© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM…
DEVOPS 3.6 ISN’T COVERED IN
OUR ENTERPRISE ELA.
8© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
60% OF THE TIME
DEPLOYMENTS WORK
EVERYTIME!
9© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FEATURES FALL OUT ALL THE TIME.
SOFTWARE IS AN IMPERFECT PLACE.
10© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
11© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANY OF YOU DEVS
TOUCH MY NETWORK…
…AND I’LL KILL YOU
12© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ANDY CRAWLED THRU 300 PAGES
OF THE FILTHIEST DOCS…
THE LIKES OF WHICH I CAN ONLY
IMAGINE
13© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KNOW CONTAINERS
AREN’T NEW
JUST THOUGHT I’D MENTION IT
14© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THAT RIGHT THERE IS MUCK!
THERE IS A TREMENDOUS
BUILD UP OF TECHNICAL DEBT
15© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH
HERE IS A COMPLETE LACK OF
RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY
16© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU’RE GOING INTO PRODUCTION
WITH A TOOL CALLED PIG?
17© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU CAN CENTRALIZE MY CONFIGS
BUT DON’T TAKE MY STAPLER
18© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HUGOPS IS UNCOMFORTABLE?
YOU MAD BRO?
19© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BEEROPS, EH?
20© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
READY FOR THE
STANDUP
21© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BRO, THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE
FOR A DAILY STANDUP
22© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
APPS ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES
YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT OPS IS
GONNA GET
23© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY FROM SCRIPT, VERY BAD. GO
TO THE BOX, 2 MINUTES, YOU FEEL
SHAME. THEN YOU FREE.
24© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
COME TO THE
DARK SIDE
WE HAVE
GANTT CHARTS
25© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE GREATEST
TRICK THE DEVIL
EVER PULLED, WAS
MAKING US
BELIEVE THAT
DEPLOYING APPS
WAS EASY
26© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
27© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I SHOULD LEARN DEVOPS
28© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I HAVE NO IDEA
WHAT I’M DOING
29© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO ME, ANDREW CLAY SHAFER
AND PATRICK DEBOIS…
…WERE SITTING AROUND
INVENTING DEVOPS
30© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OH, WE’VE GOT BOTH KINDS…
DEVS AND OPS
WHAT KIND OF “IT” DO WE HAVE
HERE?
31© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD
TALKED TO ME ABOUT DEVOPS
32© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
HOW OLD ARE YOU McLOVIN?
OLD ENOUGH TO DEVOPS
33© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T DO DEVOPS, KID.
YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT.
34© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO SECURITY IN
YOUR DEVOPS?
35© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG
DAY TO STOP DEVOPS’ING
36© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
37© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE THE DEVOPS SCARY?
38© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS…
I LOVE YOU,
YOU LOVE ME,
WE’RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY
39© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THERE’S NO CRYING IN
DEVOPS!
40© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ARE YOU INHIBITED ABOUT
DEPLOYING IN PUBLIC?
41© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IF YOU’VE
EVER DUCT
TAPED
SCRIPTS
TOGETHER
YOU MIGHT BE A
DEVOPS
REDNECK
42© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT
JOHN WILLIS?
43© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EPHEMERALS INSTANCES. DEVS AND OPS
LIVING TOGETHER. MASS HYSTERIA!!
44© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
AND CALL THE VIDEO…
“JIMMY KIMMEL, I TOLD MY BOSS
THAT WE’RE STARTING A DEVOPS
TEAM”
45© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE 1ST RULE OF DEVOPS CLUB
IS TO CONTINOUSLY DEPLOY
INTO PRODUCTION
46© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
USE CONFIG MANAGEMENT
AND AVOID MAYHEM…
LIKE ME!
47© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
OVER? THE DEPLOYMENT’S OVER?
NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL
WE SAY IT IS!
48© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SHOW ME, VAGRANT UP
49© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEPLOY EARLY AND OFTEN
PUSH IT, PUSH IT REAL GOOD!!
50© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FELLAS, COME ON. THE DEVOPS
NEEDS MORE COWBELL!
51© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS CULTURE – BE NICE TO
TEAMMATES
52© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DO YOU HAVE A PAY PHONE
NEARBY? PAGERDUTY JUST
CALLED.
53© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME UNLESS
IT’S ON SLACK!
54© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
55© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
IS COMING
BRACE YOURSELF
56© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IT’S CALLED THE
TEST AND SHIP
WORKS
EVERY TIME
57© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
BYE GOLDEN IMAGE!
58© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS
DEVOPS EVERYWHERE
59© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
• DIP
• DUCK
• DODGE
• DEVOPS
• DIVE
60© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THE DEVOPS IS NICE! YES?
61© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LEARN TO DEVOPS AND
BE SOMEBODY!
62© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LOVE
BEARDED
PEOPLE!!
63© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS – SO HOT RIGHT NOW!
64© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I CAN’T HELP
THAT PEOPLE
ARE JEALOUS
OF ME BECAUSE
I AUTOMATE
ALL OF THE
THINGS
65© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN BUSINESS IS
SLOW, I SPRINKLE
DEVOPS ON IT AND
BE AWESOME INSTEAD
TRUE STORY…
66© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
10 DEPLOYS A DAY!!
67© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU USING
CHEF?
CHEF, PUPPET,
WHATEVER IT TAKES
68© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DUDEOPS
69© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DIESELOPS
70© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD
I DON’T THINK IT MEANS WHAT
YOU THINK IT MEANS
71© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY
GO FULL DEVOPS
72© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FINALLY,
DEVOPS IS
ABOVE THE
LAW
73© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY IT 3
TIMES!
DEVOPS
DEVOPS
….
DEVOPS!
74© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SAY DEVOPS
ONE MORE TIME
75© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
76© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
RED, I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN
GET DEVOPS DONE.
DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT?
77© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPS? TRUST ME, I’M A
PROFESSIONAL.
78© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DEVOPPULENCE?
I HAS IT
79© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
IMMORTALITY JUST 6 LETTERS
AWAY
D-E-V-O-P-S
80© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I WANT TO ANNOUNCE MY DEVOPS
PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY!!
81© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
EVERY SERVER DIES. BUT NOT EVERY
SERVER TRULY LIVES. APPS HAVE
BEEN GIVEN NOTHING. DEVOPS
MAKES THEM WHAT THEY TRULY ARE.
82© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WE’RE GONNA MAKE THE OPS TEAM AN
OFFER THEY CAN’T REFUSE
83© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WORKED FINE IN DEV
OPS PROBLEM NOW
84© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
LET’S JUST DROP A TINY LITTLE
LOAD BALANCER IN THERE. JUST
LIKE THAT.
85© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
THEY WANTED MORE AGILITY,
SO WE SOLD THEM $2M IN TOOLS
86© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
CHAIRS! GOTTA GET CHAIRS IN
THE NEXT DEVOPS TOOLS ELA!
87© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DEVOPS,
NAPOLEAN?
WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT! GOSH!
88© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I DON’T ALWAYS DEPLOY TO
PRODUCTION
BUT WHEN I DO… LMAO, WHO AM
I KIDDING, I ALWAYS DO
89© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I LIKE TO PARTY AND I
WANT MY DEVOPS TO PARTY
90© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
91© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IF
WE HAVE TO WAIT
92© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
WEBSCALE?
WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE
DEVOPS
93© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
FIRED YOUR EXISTING TEAM AND
REPLACED THEM WITH A DEVOPS
TOOL?
THAT MUST BE GOING WELL
94© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
YO DAWG I HEARD YOU
LIKE DEVOPS
SO I PUT DEV IN YOUR OPS SO YOU
CAN DEV WHEN YOU OPS
95© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
JUMP THIS DEVOPS HATERS!
96© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
NO DEVOPS IN THE 1960’s
SO HOW ABOUT A SCOTCH?
97© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
SO WHAT?
SO LET’S DEVOPS!
98© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
I GOT 99 PROBLEMS
BUT DEVOPS AIN’T ONE
99© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A
DEVOPS
100© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.

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DevOps Memes @ EMCworld 2015

  • 1. 1© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 2. 2© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. BRING ME THE DEV AND THE OPS TEAMS. THEY WILL ALL SUFFER FOR THIS OUTAGE.
  • 3. 3© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. LISTEN TO ME VERY CAREFULLY I KNOW WHERE THE LOGS ARE LOCATED, AND I WILL USE THEM AGAINST YOU.
  • 4. 4© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DUDE, WHERE’S MY CONFIG FILE?
  • 5. 5© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. AND I THOUGHT, OH LORD! THEY STILL DEPLOY MANUALLY.
  • 6. 6© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WE’LL DO THAT POST-MORDEM RIGHT AFTER I CHANGE MY SHOES
  • 7. 7© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM… DEVOPS 3.6 ISN’T COVERED IN OUR ENTERPRISE ELA.
  • 8. 8© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. 60% OF THE TIME DEPLOYMENTS WORK EVERYTIME!
  • 9. 9© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. FEATURES FALL OUT ALL THE TIME. SOFTWARE IS AN IMPERFECT PLACE.
  • 10. 10© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 11. 11© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. ANY OF YOU DEVS TOUCH MY NETWORK… …AND I’LL KILL YOU
  • 12. 12© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. ANDY CRAWLED THRU 300 PAGES OF THE FILTHIEST DOCS… THE LIKES OF WHICH I CAN ONLY IMAGINE
  • 13. 13© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YOU KNOW CONTAINERS AREN’T NEW JUST THOUGHT I’D MENTION IT
  • 14. 14© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THAT RIGHT THERE IS MUCK! THERE IS A TREMENDOUS BUILD UP OF TECHNICAL DEBT
  • 15. 15© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WHAT WE’RE DEALING WITH HERE IS A COMPLETE LACK OF RESPECT FOR AUTHORITY
  • 16. 16© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YOU’RE GOING INTO PRODUCTION WITH A TOOL CALLED PIG?
  • 17. 17© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YOU CAN CENTRALIZE MY CONFIGS BUT DON’T TAKE MY STAPLER
  • 18. 18© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. HUGOPS IS UNCOMFORTABLE? YOU MAD BRO?
  • 19. 19© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. BEEROPS, EH?
  • 20. 20© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. READY FOR THE STANDUP
  • 21. 21© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. BRO, THAT’S NOT APPROPRIATE FOR A DAILY STANDUP
  • 22. 22© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. APPS ARE LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT OPS IS GONNA GET
  • 23. 23© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEPLOY FROM SCRIPT, VERY BAD. GO TO THE BOX, 2 MINUTES, YOU FEEL SHAME. THEN YOU FREE.
  • 24. 24© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. COME TO THE DARK SIDE WE HAVE GANTT CHARTS
  • 25. 25© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THE GREATEST TRICK THE DEVIL EVER PULLED, WAS MAKING US BELIEVE THAT DEPLOYING APPS WAS EASY
  • 26. 26© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 27. 27© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I SHOULD LEARN DEVOPS
  • 28. 28© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’M DOING
  • 29. 29© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. SO ME, ANDREW CLAY SHAFER AND PATRICK DEBOIS… …WERE SITTING AROUND INVENTING DEVOPS
  • 30. 30© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. OH, WE’VE GOT BOTH KINDS… DEVS AND OPS WHAT KIND OF “IT” DO WE HAVE HERE?
  • 31. 31© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I REMEMBER WHEN MY DAD TALKED TO ME ABOUT DEVOPS
  • 32. 32© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. HOW OLD ARE YOU McLOVIN? OLD ENOUGH TO DEVOPS
  • 33. 33© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DON’T DO DEVOPS, KID. YOU’LL SHOOT YOUR EYE OUT.
  • 34. 34© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. NO SECURITY IN YOUR DEVOPS?
  • 35. 35© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. LOOKS LIKE I PICKED THE WRONG DAY TO STOP DEVOPS’ING
  • 36. 36© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 37. 37© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. ARE THE DEVOPS SCARY?
  • 38. 38© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS… I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME, WE’RE A GREAT BIG FAMILY
  • 39. 39© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THERE’S NO CRYING IN DEVOPS!
  • 40. 40© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. ARE YOU INHIBITED ABOUT DEPLOYING IN PUBLIC?
  • 41. 41© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. IF YOU’VE EVER DUCT TAPED SCRIPTS TOGETHER YOU MIGHT BE A DEVOPS REDNECK
  • 42. 42© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WHAT YOU TALKING BOUT JOHN WILLIS?
  • 43. 43© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. EPHEMERALS INSTANCES. DEVS AND OPS LIVING TOGETHER. MASS HYSTERIA!!
  • 44. 44© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. AND CALL THE VIDEO… “JIMMY KIMMEL, I TOLD MY BOSS THAT WE’RE STARTING A DEVOPS TEAM”
  • 45. 45© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THE 1ST RULE OF DEVOPS CLUB IS TO CONTINOUSLY DEPLOY INTO PRODUCTION
  • 46. 46© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. USE CONFIG MANAGEMENT AND AVOID MAYHEM… LIKE ME!
  • 47. 47© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. OVER? THE DEPLOYMENT’S OVER? NOTHING IS OVER UNTIL WE SAY IT IS!
  • 48. 48© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. SHOW ME, VAGRANT UP
  • 49. 49© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEPLOY EARLY AND OFTEN PUSH IT, PUSH IT REAL GOOD!!
  • 50. 50© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. FELLAS, COME ON. THE DEVOPS NEEDS MORE COWBELL!
  • 51. 51© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS CULTURE – BE NICE TO TEAMMATES
  • 52. 52© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DO YOU HAVE A PAY PHONE NEARBY? PAGERDUTY JUST CALLED.
  • 53. 53© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME UNLESS IT’S ON SLACK!
  • 54. 54© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 55. 55© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS IS COMING BRACE YOURSELF
  • 56. 56© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. IT’S CALLED THE TEST AND SHIP WORKS EVERY TIME
  • 57. 57© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. BYE GOLDEN IMAGE!
  • 58. 58© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS DEVOPS EVERYWHERE
  • 59. 59© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. • DIP • DUCK • DODGE • DEVOPS • DIVE
  • 60. 60© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THE DEVOPS IS NICE! YES?
  • 61. 61© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. LEARN TO DEVOPS AND BE SOMEBODY!
  • 62. 62© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I LOVE BEARDED PEOPLE!!
  • 63. 63© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS – SO HOT RIGHT NOW!
  • 64. 64© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I CAN’T HELP THAT PEOPLE ARE JEALOUS OF ME BECAUSE I AUTOMATE ALL OF THE THINGS
  • 65. 65© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WHEN BUSINESS IS SLOW, I SPRINKLE DEVOPS ON IT AND BE AWESOME INSTEAD TRUE STORY…
  • 66. 66© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. 10 DEPLOYS A DAY!!
  • 67. 67© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YOU USING CHEF? CHEF, PUPPET, WHATEVER IT TAKES
  • 68. 68© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DUDEOPS
  • 69. 69© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DIESELOPS
  • 70. 70© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YOU KEEP USING THAT WORD I DON’T THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS
  • 71. 71© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. ONE DOES NOT SIMPLY GO FULL DEVOPS
  • 72. 72© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. FINALLY, DEVOPS IS ABOVE THE LAW
  • 73. 73© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. SAY IT 3 TIMES! DEVOPS DEVOPS …. DEVOPS!
  • 74. 74© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. SAY DEVOPS ONE MORE TIME
  • 75. 75© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 76. 76© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. RED, I NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN GET DEVOPS DONE. DO YOU KNOW ANYONE LIKE THAT?
  • 77. 77© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPS? TRUST ME, I’M A PROFESSIONAL.
  • 78. 78© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DEVOPPULENCE? I HAS IT
  • 79. 79© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. IMMORTALITY JUST 6 LETTERS AWAY D-E-V-O-P-S
  • 80. 80© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I WANT TO ANNOUNCE MY DEVOPS PRESENCE WITH AUTHORITY!!
  • 81. 81© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. EVERY SERVER DIES. BUT NOT EVERY SERVER TRULY LIVES. APPS HAVE BEEN GIVEN NOTHING. DEVOPS MAKES THEM WHAT THEY TRULY ARE.
  • 82. 82© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WE’RE GONNA MAKE THE OPS TEAM AN OFFER THEY CAN’T REFUSE
  • 83. 83© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WORKED FINE IN DEV OPS PROBLEM NOW
  • 84. 84© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. LET’S JUST DROP A TINY LITTLE LOAD BALANCER IN THERE. JUST LIKE THAT.
  • 85. 85© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. THEY WANTED MORE AGILITY, SO WE SOLD THEM $2M IN TOOLS
  • 86. 86© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. CHAIRS! GOTTA GET CHAIRS IN THE NEXT DEVOPS TOOLS ELA!
  • 87. 87© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WHEN ARE YOU GONNA DEVOPS, NAPOLEAN? WHENEVER I FEEL LIKE IT! GOSH!
  • 88. 88© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I DON’T ALWAYS DEPLOY TO PRODUCTION BUT WHEN I DO… LMAO, WHO AM I KIDDING, I ALWAYS DO
  • 89. 89© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I LIKE TO PARTY AND I WANT MY DEVOPS TO PARTY
  • 90. 90© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.
  • 91. 91© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. NOTHING GOOD HAPPENS IF WE HAVE TO WAIT
  • 92. 92© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. WEBSCALE? WE’RE GONNA NEED MORE DEVOPS
  • 93. 93© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. FIRED YOUR EXISTING TEAM AND REPLACED THEM WITH A DEVOPS TOOL? THAT MUST BE GOING WELL
  • 94. 94© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. YO DAWG I HEARD YOU LIKE DEVOPS SO I PUT DEV IN YOUR OPS SO YOU CAN DEV WHEN YOU OPS
  • 95. 95© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. JUMP THIS DEVOPS HATERS!
  • 96. 96© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. NO DEVOPS IN THE 1960’s SO HOW ABOUT A SCOTCH?
  • 97. 97© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. SO WHAT? SO LET’S DEVOPS!
  • 98. 98© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. I GOT 99 PROBLEMS BUT DEVOPS AIN’T ONE
  • 99. 99© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved. DAMN IT FEELS GOOD TO BE A DEVOPS
  • 100. 100© Copyright 2015 EMC Corporation. All rights reserved.