1. For Parents
By Brenda McCreight Ph.D.
Hazardous Parenting
http://www.hazardousparenting.com

2. What is Parental CF?
• Has replaced the term “parenting burn out” but
can be confused with, and can co-exist with,
depression and with primary trauma
• Is a physical, emotional, and spiritual fatigue that
takes over a parent and causes a decline in his
or her ability to experience joy at home or to feel
and care for her child and herself
• The parent is giving far more than s/he is
receiving from family life ---- way more

3. Reasons for Parental CF
• Your child doesn’t meet any of your normal
emotional needs and takes all of your attention
and time an energy.
• You picked up negative attitudes from others
parents who are in the same situation and from
your child’s never ending hostility.
• You don’t see an end to this.
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

4. Who Gets CF?
• Parents who don’t get a break or respite
• Parents who don’t have other children who are
rewarding, at least some of the time
• Parents whose marriage is unstable or unhappy
• Parents who have too much to do in too many
places
• Parents who feel isolated and
not understood or supported
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

5. Compassion Fatigue
• Compassion fatigue is the result of caring for your child
without caring for yourself
• When parents focus on everyone else without practicing
self care, then destructive emotions,
destructive feelings, and
destructive behaviours
can result
• Compassion fatigue does not
occur overnight, it develops
over time
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

6. Symptoms of Compassion Fatigue
• Blaming others, complains about too much, too often
• Not expressing emotions in a healthy manner
• Isolating from other friends or family
• Using substances to sleep or shut off feelings
• Compulsive behaviours such as overeating, over
spending, over exercising, gambling, sex
• Nightmares, flashbacks to old traumas
• Chronic physical ailments
• Apathy, no fun in life
• Tired all the time
• Pre-occupied
• In denial
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

7. Bruised doesn’t mean broken!

8. First Steps to Overcoming
Parental CF
• Acknowledge that you have it
• Tell others whom you trust that you are
experiencing CF
• Take time to think about how you
developed CF and how you can grow
beyond it
• Start thinking about who/what/where you
can turn for help
• Develop a self care plan
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

9. Self Care
• Be kind to yourself, it’s okay to put yourself first
• Increase your knowledge in parenting a child with your
child’s specific needs
• Get yourself into situations where at lest some of your
needs are met
• Exchange feelings with others who can validate you
without enabling you
• Exercise
• Clarify and set firm personal boundaries
• Express your needs strongly with an expectation that
they will be met
• Make a realistic self care plan and stick with it
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

10. Self Care Plan
• Health building activities such as exercise, meditation,
biofeedback
• Eating healthier
• Drink lots of water
• Learn to say “no”, using boundaries
• Create a healthy support team – who can go for a walk
with you at lunch?
• Choose your battles and choose who you battle with
• Focus your time and energy on the parts of your life that
are rewarding and fulfilling
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

11. CF Prevention
• Use fundamental self care skills
• Find and experience positive, fulfilling activities outside
of the home and family
• Work on your adult personal relationships – keep them
positive and growth filled
• Look for joy points in every day life
• Be open to change
• Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

12. 1. _____ I am happy
2. _____ I get satisfaction from being able to help
other people
3. _____ I feel connected to others
4. _____ I jump or am startled by unexpected
sounds Self Test
5. _____I have more energy after working with
those I help
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

13. More…
6. _____I find it difficult to separate my
overall life from my life as a parent
7._____ I am losing sleep over my child
8._____ I think I have been “infected” by my
child’s trauma
9. _____I feel trapped by my role as this
child’s parent
10.____I like my life as this child’s parent
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

14. More…
11. ____I feel depressed as a result of being
this child’s parent
12.____ I have beliefs that sustain me
13.____ I feel pleased with how I am able to
keep up with knowledge about my child’s
special needs
14. ____ I am the person I always wanted to
be
15.____My family life makes me satisfied
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

15. More…
16. ____I am exhausted from being a parent
17.____ I have happy thoughts and feelings about
those I help and how I could help them
18. I feel overwhelmed by the amount of
expectations everyone places on me
19. I believe I can make a difference through my
parenting
20. I avoid certain situations or activities because
they remind me of my life at home
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

16. More…
21. ____ I plan to be actively parenting for a long
time
22. ____ As a result of my parenting I have
sudden, unwanted thoughts
23.____I feel “bogged down” by the system
24.____ I have thoughts that I am a success as a
parent
25.____I can’t remember good parts of my day at
the end of the day
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

17. More…
26. _____ I am an overly sensitive person
27. I m happy that I chose to parent this
child
Add up yours and see if you have more
positive or negative
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

18. Take care of yourself!
Remember, no one can take better care of
you than…..you.
You deserve the best of yourself and you
deserve to have joy in your life.
You are entitled to a better day…now and
forever.
Brenda McCreight Ph.D. workshop series

19. Thank you for sharing this time with me
• You can check out other services and products at these sites:
• http://www.lifespancounselling.com
• http://www.theadoptioncounselor.com
• http://www.hazardousparenting.com
• The Hazardous Parenting facebook site
• Udemy.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
• Slideshare.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
• Amazon.com (search under Brenda McCreight)
• brendamccreight@gmail.com
• Brenda provides counselling and parent coaching worldwide via skype, telephone,
and email – please contact her by email if you would like to book an appointment.