This document provides guidance on having difficult conversations effectively and respectfully. It emphasizes getting clear on the key issues and one's own perspective, considering the other person's viewpoint, and focusing on understanding each other and resolving conflicts together through open-ended questions, active listening, and validating each other's perspectives rather than blaming. The goal is to have a respectful discussion and work toward an mutually agreeable outcome.
3. 3
What is the issue?
Why is it bothering you?
What are your assumptions?
What emotions are present?
What is your purpose?
What is the ideal outcome?
What will happen?
CONSIDER
4. Don’t blurt,
converse
I have a list of problems to
discuss with you.
Let’s go.
Develop your
skills
Visualize your
outcome
5. Make it Safe
Show respect
Listen sincerely
Thank you for
meeting
with me today.
Be sincere.
Be real.
open and engaged
8. You’re right. I
hadn’t really thought
of it like that.
What are you
telling yourself?
He won’t
want to talk
to me.
I won’t be
able to
explain what
I want.
RECOGNIZE
FOCUS
on
OUTCOME
RESPECT
10. I’m sorry I
made such a big
deal out of
something so
unimportant.
It was
thoughtless for
me to assume
you didn’t care.
Take
for
AVOID BLAME
responsibility
your actions
be aware and open
12. You’re not
seeing my point.
What do you have
to say about this?
May I offer you a
different
perspective?
I’d like to hear
your thinking on
this.
Everyone says you
dominate every
conversation you’re in.
I’ve noticed that some
people stop talking when
you are in the
conversation.
You seem quite
adamant.
This sounds really
important to you.
A
better
way This video features the song “Si Tu Savais” by Arsen, available
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Human Resources
Notes de l'éditeur
Everyone experiences the need to have an awkward, uncomfortable or difficult conversation at some time. Nothing can these make these situations go away but we do have some control over how we prepare for and have these conversations. In this video we’ll present some simple, proven techniques to make having difficult conversations less stressful and more effective.
Sometimes you may have to have a difficult conversation “in the moment” but if at all possible spend even a few minutes considering the following points:What is the issue?Why is it bothering you? What gets you hooked about this conversation, person or issue?What are your assumptions about what’s going on?What emotions are attached to the situation?What is your purpose in having the conversation?What is the ideal outcome?What will happen if you have the conversation? What will happen if you don’t?
Once you are in touch with the issue and the desired outcome, you’re ready to get in to the conversation. But don’t just jump in and lay everything on the table. Here are some guidelines to develop a set of skills that are sure to make even the most difficult conversation go a little better.