1. MINISTRY OF EDUCATION, RESEARCH, YOUTH AND SPORTS
DOLJ COUNTY SCHOOL INSPECTORATE
“TUDOR ARGHEZI ” THEORETICAL HIGHSCHOOL LTTA
No. 5, Bucovina Street, Postal Code 200026, Craiova, Dolj
tel/fax:0040 251 433 227; E-mail: arghezicv2004@yahoo.com
Grundtvig Learning Partnership
“No more tears”
nr. GRU-10-P-LP-25-DJ-TR
CURRICULA AND TRAINING MATERIAL
“NO MORE TEARS”

2. CURRICULA
1. Title of training: ” NO MORE TEARS”
2. Type of training: continuous formation
3. Number of hours:12
4. Schedule: Mondays between 11.30 and 15.30
5. Place of training: “Tudor Arghezi” Theoretical Highschool
6. Trainers: Florenta Avram, Oana Popescu, Georgeta Manafu
Crt. Topic Hours Activity Specific Resulting abilities
No. objectives
1 Peer counselling Course - To acquire - To mention the
1.1. Principles in peer various characteristics of
counselling principles the idea of peer
1.2. Qualities for peer 1 Seminar/ needed for peer counselling
counselling Practical conselling; - To give examples
1.3. Characteristics of activities - To promote the of counselling
youth counsellors qualities and programmes aimed
1.4. Attitudes, abilities, 1 characteristics of at teenagers and
expertise; youth young people
1.5. Role plays counsellors; - To become aware
- To develop of the importance
attitudes, of respecting
abilities and ethical priniples
expertise - To identify the
necessary for abilities and
peer counselling; attitudes a peer
counsellor would
require
- To analyze
different strategies
in order to favor
the development of
these abilities and
attitudes in an
efficient counsellor
2. Working with a group of 1 Course -To acquire - To identify the
young people various abilities various means
2.1. Preparing to work needed when needed for
with a group of young Seminar/ working with preparing to work
people; Practical young people with a group of
2.2.Interaction rules within 1 activities (organization, young people
a group of young people interaction) - To mention the
2.3. Role plays rules that must be
applied when
interacting with a
group of young
people
3. Mediation 1 Course - To acquire the - To apply conflict
Mediation – what and necessary mediation
why? 1 abilities to techniques;

3. Conflict mediation Seminar/ mediate conflicts - To respect the
techniques. Practical mediators‟ code
Organizing a mediation 1 activities and the five
system in a school. mediation keys;
Potential problems. - To evaluate peers
Evaluation within the 1 within the
mediation system mediation
programme.
4. Assertiveness 1 Course - To promote - To identify the
Social skills 1 assertiveness, benefits of an
Tolerance social skills, assertive type of
Stereotypes 1 Seminar/ tolerance and the behaviour;
Measures taken in order to Practical measures that - To practice
reduce school violence activities need to be taken various techniques
in order to in order to favour
reduce school assertive
violence communication;
- To explain the
reason for which
stereotypes are
dangerous;
- To take an active
part in social life;
- To respect the
measures that have
been taken in order
to reduce school
violence;
5 Final assessment 1 Seminar To present and - To make a
make analytical realistic analysis of
comments the activities
regarding the
evaluation
portfolios

4. Peer counsellors
A peer counsellor is a person who was specially trained to work with people their own age,
or of close ages in order to educate them and to make them become aware of the numerous
challenges they face, in this case conflict mediation.
Thus people of the same age, sharing the same values, tend to be better listeners. Research
shows that teenagers and young people think that their colleagues have got much more credibility
than their adult educators and that interventions such as peer counselling or ‟‟young people with/
for young people” develop their self confidence and their assertiveness when confronted with group
pressure.
Although counselling programmes for young people require a significant amount of
commitment regarding support, time and resources, they altogether bring a considerable
improvement to the personal and professional development of the students who get involved in such
activities.
o Principles in peer counselling
Peer counselling is an essential activity for young people to have successful results. In this
sense, in order to reach their objectives, youth counsellors must respect the following principles in
their activities:
Confidentiality
Acceptance
Independence
Openness
Respect
Warmth
Equality
Co participation
Teamwork
Positive attitude
...

5. o Qualities of a peer counsellor
open
informed
responsible
trustworthy, serious
committed – who respects commitments
supportive
flexible
empathic
original
non- labelling
o Characteristics of youth counsellors:
The others see them as leaders, their opinions are important, they are popular and
influential;
They have the ability to listen to the others without judging them;
They provide information;
They trust themselves and those they work with;
They know how to ask questions and provide feedback;
They are reliable and honest in their relationships;
Their colleagues like them;
They display a certain degree of ‟‟welfare” and balance, and they like what they do;
They work in boys and girls teams, whatever age, grade or educational level they are;
They are not necessarily the best in their class, but they may be extremely active outside
the school, with a responsible social behaviour;
They want to volunteer in different activities;

6. Who IS a peer counsellor? Who IS NOT a peer counsellor?
o A colleague of the same age o A parent
o A leader o A judge (no labelling)
o A trained person o A doctor
o An informing person o A critic
o An encouraging person o An advisor
o A person who develops a trust- o A distant expert
based relationship o A dictator
o A helping person o A superior
o A reliable person o ...
o A flexible person
o A supportive person
o ...
A peer counsellor has the following:
Attitudes
Self confidence
Love for working with young people
Respect for the young people and the conviction that they have the right to make choices
regarding their own lives
Faith in each person‟s potential for personal development
Openness towards the participants‟ contrasting opinions
Willingness to help solve problems/conflicts
Courage to communicate in an honest way
Flexibility in making rules, schedules
Calm and patience
Sense of humour

7. Abilities
Communication abilities (presenting, active listening, observing, asking questions,
providing feedback, summarizing, reflecting)
Organization abilities
Group work abilities (methods, techniques)
Resource management (time, space, materials)
Self assessment abilities
Expertise in
Promoting conflict mediation
Preventing violence
Applying various principles in peer counselling
Taking chances
Communicating
Making decisions
Managing support: resources, community, counsellors in the specialized net, school,
teachers, mediators, parents, colleagues, trainers
 Working with a group of young people
Preparing to work with a group of young people
1. Preparing a working session: the location must be set up beforehand with photos, posters
from previous activities, video projector, etc.
2. Preparing the atmosphere: begin the session by having chairs disposed in a circle to get
the participants involved in the session, use volunteers, use energizing exercises;
3. Getting to know each participant: having each participant present themselves is useful to
create a positive learning atmosphere
4. Possible exercises:
- Give coloured cards to each participant and have them write their first name and a
personal quality;
- Give cards for the participants to fill in with a proper ending for some sentences:
1. What I like most about myself is ......
2. What the others like most about me is....
3. My favourite place is......
4. I rely on myself when .....
5. I want ...... for myself.

8. Group rules
Each participant will have the opportunity to speak.
Each participant will speak whenever they feel ready to.
Each participant has the right to say ‟‟pass” to any question that they want not to answer
for being too personal.
We speak in turns and avoid interruptions.
We do not insult, nor make negative comments.
We speak about the topic at hand.
We respect the given schedule and are punctual in solving our tasks.
We keep all talks confidential.
Examples of solving peer counselling difficulties
When you meet several young people, you could suggest to them to attend group
meetings that you will lead yourself or along with another colleague of yours.
Set the group rules. From the very first sequence of working with the young people,
have each of them write a rule on a post-it, then, in small groups, have the participants
discuss and negotiate these rules and select two of them, the most important ones. Write
the proposals of each group on a flip-chart sheet and remind them if necessary during the
working sessions.
If heated debates arise during a certain activity, explain the participants that that topic
will be addressed or that problem will be solved at the right moment.
Frontally approach a troublesome participant and try to find out what causes their
behaviour. If necessary, explain to them how their behaviour may influence the group as
a whole and how they can assist you in further tasks.
When someone interrupts your presentation or explanation, say “Excuse me…”. Each
participant has the right to speak without being interrupted. If they notice the fact that
you respect this right yourself, they will no longer interrupt you. Or you could say “ I‟m
sorry, could you please allow me to finish expressing my idea and then you can express
yours …”.
When someone‟s behaviour can no longer be ignores, you can address them within the
group. You can give a counterexample to what they have been saying or doing, and
under no circumstances will you make person-related remarks. A recommendation as to
how to provide feedback to someone is: criticize the behaviour, not the person!

9. You can end a group session with a debate on working in groups. Try to avoid making
anyone feel offended.
SCHOOL AND FAMILY VIOLENCE
Family violence is any kind of physical, psychological or sexual aggression, sexual
infliction or any criminal action committed purposefully by one family member against another
member of the same family, who lives or used to live in the same location as the injured person.
Women are submitted to up to six times more frequent acts of violence by their partners or
former partners as compared to the acts of violence a normal stranger would commit. Violence may
also occur in friendly relationships. One reason for it could be the consumption of alcohol.
Forms of family violence:
Physical abuse: pushing, hustling, hitting, assaulting the victim with a weapon,
immobilizing, tying the victim, abandoning the victim in a dangerous place, refusing to help
a sick or wounded victim;
Psychological abuse: intimidating, degrading and humiliating, criticizing, insulting,
denigrating the victim, making false accusations, blaming, ignoring, ridiculing the victim
and their needs, lying, extreme jealousy, physical and social isolation.
Sexual abuse: any form of forced sex or sexual degradation.
The most important family-generated factors which lead to the students being violent are:
A. The social and affective climate of the family (parents‟ relationship, their attitude
towards the child and vice versa)
B. The type of family (organized, disarranged as a result of a divorce, a separation or death,
or reorganized. )
C. The economical status of the family (neighbourhoods with a high unemployment rate,
with many under-qualified workers, with many foreign residents having slight chances of finding a
job, are generally associated with an as high criminal rate, including a more frequent occurrence of
school violence.)
D. The size of the family (imposing discipline and authority – equal or preferential – to all
children)

10. E. The parents‟ education (the social, professional and cultural status of the family plays an
important part in the children‟s school adaptation and in the appearance or prevention of any forms
of violence)
Within a human activity, violence occurs when the forms and means someone uses cause
major distress to one or several people:
In their physical integrity (by bullying, abusing, hurting, crippling, killing);
In their psychological integrity ( by altering the victim‟s spiritual and intellectual state);
In their moral integrity (by gossip, defamation, blasphemies, unjust accusations and
convictions, any kind of unfair actions);
In their ethnic, religious, cultural and social identity (by prohibiting the use of someone‟s
native language, religious faith, own values etc.)
Violence may be divided into several categories:
a) – physical violence (battles, wars);
- moral violence (injustice, swearing);
b) – material violence (burning a book, destroying an asset);
- symbolic violence (banning a book);
c) - direct violence (shooting someone);
- indirect violence (having someone shot at);
The causes which lead to violence depend on the person‟s living environment: family,
school, friends, the media.
Reducing violence within a society depends on solving its causes, on the efficiency of the
control mechanisms of various institutions, as well as on everyone‟s ability to understand the fact
that aggression is not the solution to our problems.
Specialists identify two types of school violence:
Objective violence, of a penal nature (crimes and delinquency), which can be approached
directly
Subjective violence, of a more subtle, attitude nature, affecting school environment:
contempt, humiliation, defiance, antisocial attitudes.
A very common type of violence is the verbal one. Verbal violence is perceived differently by
teachers and students. Teachers tend to overrate it, while students tend to minimize its importance.
School violence must be determined according to the school environment and context.
Violence seriously disturbs the learning environment in school and affects the relationships
between teachers and students. School violence is a wide spread phenomenon, with verbal violence
at one end (many forms of manifestation, potentially harmful to school environment) and physical
violence at the other en, with serious forms of manifestation.

11. School violence
The factors which can lead to violent incidents in schools are:
The influence of PC games and action movies;
Patterns of behaviour acquired at home;
Patterns of behaviour promoted among the students, which emphasize the importance of
imposing one‟s authority towards the others;
Defying, noisy attitudes, meant to draw people‟s attention;
The stress related to school tasks and requirements;
Different ways of teachers relating to students, which can lead to conflicts and aggression;
The most frequent violent incidents occur among the students themselves. The second most
frequent violent incidents occur between students and people outside the school
The most frequent types of aggression are: swearing, threatening, intimidating (psychologically
pressuring) and moderately aggressive gestures (pushing, giving feet, humiliating pushes etc.).
There have also been reports about conflicts close to the school areas.
In every institution there are certain regulations stating everyone‟s rights and obligations and the
sanctions that must be applied to those who break these rules, each aggressive behaviour being
sanctioned according to these regulations. Therefore, if a young person is subjected to any of the
previously mentioned types of aggression, they must ask one of the habilitated people to help them.
If the incident happens inside the school, the class manager, one of the teachers or one of the school
managers must be notified. If the incident happens on the street, we must enlist the help of a police
officer, if there is one nearby, or dial 112, the emergency number. A child can ask other adults to
help them, or call their relatives on the phone.
Supporting
When taking on the role of peer mediator, it is important to prove supportive, that is to give them
support in exercising an assertive kind of behaviour. In order to become assertive, we must go
through an essential step: learn how to communicate.

12. A passive person An assertive person An aggressive person
Lets the other decide Tells people what he Expresses his emotions,
and guess what he wants, without hurting opinions or wishes in a
wants. them. threatening or punishing
Speaks a lot about his States his own rights, way.
rights, but does nothing without disregarding the His own rights count
about it. others‟. more than the others‟.
The others come first. Respects himself as Always comes first.
Other people‟s wishes much as anyone else. Is authoritarian towards
count more. Listens and talks. the others.
Keeps quiet, even when Expresses both positive Reaches his goals to other
annoyed by something. and negative emotions. people‟s detriment.
Apologises frequently. Is confident, without Dominant behaviour:
Has a submissive forcing the others. yells, shouts, does not
behaviour: low tone, listen to other people
frequent shrouding, talking, patronises them,
avoids disagreements, points his finger at them,
covers his face with his threatens, gives orders,
hands. places blame on the
others.
Measures for the reduction of school violence
Within the Managing Board meeting on the 11th of October 2010 the participants adopted a
set of rules to ensure the students‟ security inside and outside the school area, in view of the
potential support school can provide to the students‟ security outside the school area.
Thus, the following decisions were made:
- the need for both students and school staff to permanently wear specific badges, as a distinctive
sign of the school;
- the prohibition of smuggling or consuming cigarettes, alcohol, drugs, pornographic materials. This
also applies to the area outside the school;
- restraining from displaying provocative behaviour in peer relationships, wherever they are. Any
potentially conflictive situation must be reported to the learning manager, other teachers or to the
school managers;
- the prohibition of exiting the school area during classes;
- the teachers on duty will be present among the students at all times during breaks;
- the genitors and the maintenance workers will also constantly supervise the school hallways;

13. - the teachers on duty, along with the leaning managers, will organise and train the students on duty
about their duties and the obligatory nature of fulfilling them;
- the learning managers will send a written notification to the school managers and to the secretary
staff concerning the students on duty;
- the secretary staff will provide a day-to-day plan of the students on duty;
- the Westside door will only be open during that specific break during which the bread and milk
are distributed to primary students;
- in order to ensure the students‟ security around the sports area, sports teachers must monitor all
activities inside and around the gymnasiums and take all necessary measures should any
misconduct occur;
- commuting students who, according to the learning managers‟ conclusions, cannot fulfil their
school duty will not be included on the list of the students on duty;
- the school ITC expert will constantly supervise the southern part of the school, so as to avoid any
possibility of students or people outside the school disturbing the educational activities;
- the display of the students‟ and teachers‟ on duty attributions, so as the respective people have
access to this information;
- the introduction of a special form for reporting behavioural issues to hand to the people in charge
in order to remedy the respective situation;
- problematic students will be referred to the school counsellor and to the community police officer;
- in the following days, the learning managers will present ot their classes a written material about
violence, drawn by the school counsellor;
- new surveillance cameras will be set in order to ensure a proper monitoring of the entire school
area;
- the deputy managers will only work in their office when necessary. They will constantly monitor
the school and the area around it, by working along with the school administrator, the teachers and
the students on duty;
- the deputy managers will ensure the constant presence of the genitors and maintenance workers on
the school hallways in order to monitor the students‟ activities during classes and breaks;
- when one shift ends, the deputy on the first shift will alert the other deputy about current issues
and will agree upon the necessary measures;
- the first shift begins at 7.15 and ends at 13.45, and the other begins at 13.30 and ends at 19.45, this
schedule being subjected to any necessary changes;
- the deputy managers will visit classrooms at all times and keep in touch with the teachers and
learning managers in order to learn and solve in a timely fashion any altercations between students
themselves or between students and people outside the school area. In solving these situations, the

14. deputy managers will appeal to the school counsellor, the learning managers, parents and police
officers;
- the deputy managers will ensure that the students‟ entrance and exit take place with no incidents
and no risks and make sure that all members of staff who are involved in these activities (teachers
on duty, primary school teachers or teachers whose classes take place during the primary students‟
last class, the genitors, the maintenance workers, the school administrator and the doorman) actually
participate in them;
- the school manager will have the same attributions as the deputy managers;
- the teachers or primary school teachers will be at school 15 minutes before classes and will walk
the leaving students to the school exit.
MEASURES FOR THE REDUCTION OF SCHOOL VIOLENCE
- COMMITTEE FOR THE PREVENTION AND COMBAT OF
SCHOOL VIOLENCE -
1. Checking the way internal regulations are respected;
2. Involving the school counsellor in the early identification of risky situations generating
potentially violent types of behaviour and adopting a set of strategies for preventing
aggressive actions;
3. Organising school contests within various school projects in order to identify and eliminate
the possible causes of school violence;
4. Organising sports competitions in order to promote tolerance and fair play;
5. Organising interactive meetings with various experts (psychologists, social workers, doctors,
police officers, attorneys etc) in order to make people aware of the risks of aggressive
behaviour and of the ways to prevent them;
6. Organising and developing school partnerships involving the students and their associations
in setting up a “Non-violence code” (norms, slogans, posters, etc) for the prevention and
combat of school and community violence;
7. Visitors will only be permitted access upon presentation of a proper identification item
(passport, identity card). In this view a special register will be set up, containing
identification details, student or member of the school staff being visited, entry and exit
hour, special comments;

15. 8. The students and teachers on duty will constantly keep in touch with the police officers in
the area in order to timely notify them of any suspicious behaviour which may affect
classes;
9. The emergency call numbers (police, ambulance, fire department) will be displayed in the
teachers‟ room and the school notice board.
10. The learning managers will draw tables to hand to Mrs. Florenta Avram, the school
counsellor and to the school police officer, stating any problems, students with problematic
behaviour;
11. Organising various preventive, educational activities in order to prevent child delinquency,
and students‟ victimisation, to inform young people on teenage risks, to develop their sense
of initiative and individual critical thinking. In order to do this, we will draw a chart of the
meetings with police officers on specific crime-preventing issues;
12. Training the security staff by habilitated people – members of the Dolj County Police
Inspectorate;
13. Organising common activities involving teachers, parents, parents‟ committees, the school
counsellor, police officers and clerks of the local public administration concerning the
places and circles students attend before or after classes.
IMPLEMENTATION OF THE PEER MEDIATION SYSTEM AT
THE”TUDOR ARGHEZI” THEORETICAL HIGHSCHOOL, AS A
MEANS OF MAKING THE STUDENTS MORE RESPONSIBLE
What is to mediate a conflict? „‟To mediate means to come between hostile parties and
convince them to change their attitudes and see their opponent as their partner, thus solving the
conflict”. (Ana Stoica Constantin, 2004). As for peer mediation, it involves an impartial
intervention from a peer mediator, who has got no authority to impose a solution, but can still help
the parties find one. The purpose of mediation is to solve the conflict and to prevent any potentially
conflictive future situation. It is very important for the peer mediator to be asked to help by at least
one of the parties and accepted by all.
Peer mediation is based on two main principles:
• The school which provides its students with a way to handle conflicts will also stimulate
their success in various fields.
• The students who are trained to be peer mediators will be more helpful to their peers than

16. adults.
The implementation of the peer mediation system at the”Tudor Arghezi” Theoretical High
school included the necessary activities to:
• prepare for the introduction of the peer mediation system;
• promote the mediation system inside the school and inform the students;
• ensure the functioning of the system;
• monitor and assess its efficiency.
When there is a conflict between two students, the peer mediators (always two of them)
meet the victim, then the alleged perpetrator, then both parties.
There is a standard procedure in meeting the aggressed person, consisting of 6 steps, about
which the peer mediators were trained. Meeting the aggressor also involves several stages. The
restorative meeting takes place after a favourable time has been established. This meeting is
attended by the peer mediators (always two of them) and the parties who were involved in the
conflict. Should the victim or the aggressor require a teacher to be present at the meeting, a
habilitated member of the school staff will attend it. The restorative meeting generally ends up in
reconciliation. The aggressor and the conflict are recorded in a permanently upgraded database, and,
should the respective student repeat his digressive behaviour he will have to face gradually severe
sanctions, according to the mediators‟ code. The suggested peer mediators signed a contract with
the school representatives, by which they agree to cooperate and display a proper school and social
behaviour. They received specific marks, so as to be easily identified by the potential victims,
should a representative of the respective class not be around when the incident occurs.
THE PEER MEDIATORS‟ CODE
Mediators will avoid physical conflicts. Should such conflicts occur, the mediators will
alert the teacher on duty, the learning manager, the school manager or any other member of the
school staff.
Each student is allowed 5 conflicts registered in the mediators‟ book. For objectivity
purposes, one mediator will talk to the victim, and the other will talk to the aggressor, in order to
respect the mediation procedures.
Depending on the gravity of his actions, the aggressor will be recorded in the school
aggression register and face sanctions.
Initially, the student will have to spend an extra hour at school. Depending on the
timetable, the respective hour can be spent at school in the morning or in the afternoon.
Assessment in class or voluntary work are further sanctions, should the aggressor keep
acting in inappropriate ways.
Threatening a mediator for being one means harsh sanctions. All peer mediators have full

17. support from the school managers in their mediation activities.
Organised in teams of four or more, mediators solve mixed-class conflicts (the two
mediators of each class).
Reports will be sent on a weekly basis. They will be statistical, but student whose name is
mentioned more than five times as being the aggressor will be entered into the school violence
registry book.
The five keys. Students’ worksheet
It is very difficult, even impossible to open a locked door (if you are not really, really
strong). But if you have a key to put in the look, you twist it and the door will open. Sometimes,
when friends are fighting, they are like locked doors: they do not listen to anyone and they do not
open. If you have the key of your friends‟ thoughts, you can help them solve their problems.
Fortunately, there are keys which can help you help your friends. You can‟t touch them, but you can
learn how to use them. They are very important because they make friends and colleagues talk
openly about their conflicts. The five keys are:
Do not judge. Peer mediators are impartial, even if they think that one of the parts is right
or wrong.
Do not give advice. Sometimes peer mediators can think of solutions, but they must not
suggest anything to those involved, it is their conflict and they have to solve it themselves the way
they want to. This is the only way to make them feel responsible.
Be equally empathic. An empathetic mediator tries to understand the people who were
involved in the conflict by putting himself into their respective place. Avoid taking sides, but try to
understand the way in which both of them think and see things.
Keep the confidentiality. People feel better when they talk about their feelings and
problems, if they know that the peer mediators will not tell the story to anyone.
Show that you care. Within the mediation process, the mediators also take people into
account. They do everything they can in order to help the others reconcile and solve their conflicts.
If the mediators respect the mediation process, the others will trust that using it will help them solve
their problem.
CONFLICTS

18. PEACE is a process by means of which we respond to conflicts and diversity with tolerance,
imagination and flexibility; WAR is a product of our intention to crush diversity and intensify
conflicts by abandoning the peace process. (George E. Lyon)
The aggravation of aggressiveness and violence is one of the most serious problems in today‟s
society. In order to prevent school violence we need to take a set of measures so as to prevent,
monitor and fight it.
Our reactions towards conflicts can be divided into three categories:
Delicate reactions: stepping back, ignoring or denying
Harsh reactions: threatening, aggressiveness or anger
Principle-based reactions: understanding, respecting or solving
When choosing a way to solve the conflict it is very important to identify its origins.
Its origins can be:
Limited resources: time, money or assets
Unfulfilled basic needs: sense of belonging, power, freedom or good mood
Contrasting values: convictions, priorities, principles or beliefs
Mediation is a communication process by means of which a group of people find themselves in
a situation of peacefully solving their own conflict, by and with the help of a third, neutral party.
This neutral person is the mediator. When a conflict is solved within the school area, by another
student, the latter is called a peer mediator.
MEDIATION PRINCIPLES
Solving conflicts means cooperation and understanding. This type of mediation is based on
the principle according to which the opposing parties must obey the following rules in order to find
a constructive solution to their conflict:
• stay calm and control their anger, frustration or other strong emotions;
• focus on the problem at hand and not on blaming the other party;
• accurately express their feelings and wishes;
• respect and understand other points of view;
• cooperate and find solutions that are satisfactory for both parties.
A mediator‟s qualities are: impartial, empathic listener, respectful, insightful, trustworthy
and cooperation-oriented. A mediator is responsible for the mediation process itself, not for its
solution. The solution to the problem is the responsibility of the people involved in the conflict, who
can still find it if they are willing to cooperate.

19. PEACE is that particular state allowing each individual to survive and prosper without being
hindered by conflicts, prejudice, hate or injustice.
PEACE means balance and harmony.
Assertiveness is one of the most important psychological characteristics, which considerably
contributes to the balance of the ego, to the expression of what we want and to the development of
agreable personal relationships. It is a successful combination of firmness and common sense. It is
also a means of expressing who we are, what we want and what we ask for in a given situation, with
common sense, without hurting the others.
In order to become assertive, we must learn how to communicate.
Assertive behaviour:
Tell someone exactly what you want, without hurting them.
State your own rights, without ignoring the other people‟s own rights.
Respect yourself and the others.
Listen and speak.
Express both positive and negative emotions.
Be confident, but avoid forcing the others.
Mediation procedures
Acknowledging the fact that violence is, unfortunately, present in our day-to-day life, our
school is trying to implement a system of peer mediation.
It basically means students solving problems between themselves. When there is a conflict
between two students, the peer mediators (always in a team) meet the victim of the aggression
(either physical or verbal), then the alleged aggressor, then both sides of the conflict and try to make
it end peacefully.
There is a standard procedure when meeting the victim, consisting of six steps:
1. Introduction (E.g. Hello. My name is ..., I‟m a peer mediator, and this is my colleague,
.... he‟s not going to say anything, only make some notes.)
2. Describing the facts (E.g. From what I‟ve heard, you were involved in a conflict
yesterday. What happened exactly?)
3. Determining the emotional impact on the victim (E.g. How did this make you feel?)
4. Determining the emotional impact on people close to the victim (E.g. How did this make
your mother feel?)

20. 5. Finding a solution (E.g. What should your colleague do for you to forgive him?* if the
victim cannot or will not suggest a solution, the peer mediators will appeal to the
authorised school staff)
6. Making an appointment with both sides to actually mediate their conflict.
Meeting the aggressor also consists of several stages:
1. Introduction (the same as when meeting the victim).
2. Understanding the cause (E.g. What made you do it?)
3. Detailing the emotional impact on the victim (E.g. Your colleague told me he felt.......)
4. Detailing the emotional impact on people close to the victim (E.g. When your colleague
got home last night, his mother.......)
5. Presenting the victim‟s suggestions (E.g. Your colleague agrees to make peace with you,
provided that you... * If the aggressor refuses the solutions presented to him on behalf of
the victim, the peer mediators report it to the authorises school staff and let them solve
the case)
6. Making an appointment with both sides to actually mediate their conflict.
The restorative meeting takes place after determining a convenient moment for both sides.
It is attended by the peer mediators and by those involved in the conflict. Should the victim or the
aggressor require the presence of a parent/ teacher (an adult), an authorised member of the school
staff will also attend the meeting, since students are not allowed to deal with adults directly.
This meeting normally ends in reconciliation, provided that the aggression should not
happen again. The perpetrator is not supposed to have display the same negative attitude towards
either of his colleagues, not only towards the current victim. After a certain number of bad
occurrences which are only known by the peer mediators, the student is registered in a permanently
updated database, and is subject to gradual sanctions, depending on the gravity and repeated nature
of their aggressions. Such sanctions range from getting them involved in extracurricular activities,
to spending an extra amount of time in school, or to having them expelled for a given number of
days.
Peer mediators are endowed with special identification symbols (a personal notebook and a
differently designed student identification card), so that they may be easily recognised by the
victims. They also have a contract with the school, according to which they agree to undergo peer
mediation, with the implicit consent of their parents (should they be under aged).

21. On the other hand, this system also involves improving students‟ behaviour in relation to
their teachers
We have started this after observing its implementation in a British school. It was a special
sports school, the pupils of which were exclusively boys aged up to 16-17 years old, with strong
personalities and age-related behaviour issues.
In case of a disruptive behaviour on the part of a student, the teacher had several gradual
options at their disposal to make it stop.
The student has the right to one warning which went unpunished by the teacher.
A second warning meant that the student would spend an extra hour in school at the end of
his normal schedule. (For example, if the student normally finished school at 13.20, he would have
to leave school at 14.20 as a punishment for their disruptive behaviour)
A third warning meant that the student would spend an extra hour at school with no activity,
followed by another hour of further practice at certain subjects. (For example, the student would
normally finish classes at 13.20, but, subject to this punishment, he would stay at school until 14.20
without doing anything, and he would spend the time between 14.20 and 15.20 practicing). Thus
they would lose two hours of their own spare time.
The extra hours could be spent at the school library or in study rooms, under the direct
supervision of a teacher or member of staff, practicing the subject the class of which they had been
disrupting.
If not even the third warning could improve the student‟s behaviour, the teacher would then
appeal to external support. In order to get it, they would call (through the student on duty) the
teacher on duty, who would escort the disruptive student to another class of the same subject, but
which deals with different topics. (For example, an English teacher has some problems with a
student in the 10th grade. This student will be removed from their original class to another English
class. The next class in his own grade, the teacher could examine them and ask them questions
regarding what had been taught during their absence the other day. Since the student is not familiar
with the subject, this would enable the teacher to give that student a poor grade and thus decrese his
school performance).
Measures could get even more drastic, including expelling the student for one, two, three or
five days, school service or a lower mark in discipline.
Other observations
- The students had personalised email addresses (ex. Ion.ion@arghezicv.ro), used for, on one
hand, peer communication, and, on the other hand, teachers-students communication (for
example a teacher would let the students know about a contest, a competition, their grades).
Their communication was monitored in order to avoid email aggression (for example, if Ion

22. sent Vasile an email consisting of obscene words or swearing, the message is labelled as
offensive and will not be sent. Thus the administrators avoid a conflict between Ion and
Vasile, and Ion starts being perceived as a potential aggressor).
There was also a reward system. As students of a sports school, they were split into 4 ‟‟
houses”, bearing the names of 4 well known sports people, competing as for their school results.
The best students in each house would get a trip in the neighbouring area or another motivating
reward, thus being stimulated to do well in school the next semester. However, it was the
management‟s declared purpose to reward each house, so as not to discriminate anyone.
Assertiveness
What is assertiveness?
 Assertiveness is one of the most important psychological characteristics of human personality,
which considerably contributes to maintaining the inner balance, to expressing what we want and to
cultivating agreeable personal relationships.
 What is the meaning of assertiveness? Essentially, it is a successful combination of firmness
and common sense; it is also the ability to express who we are, what we want and what we require
in a given situation, without hurting people around, within the limits of common sense. Being
assertive means behaving in a firm way, while respecting the others‟ psychological space, us and
our interlocutor. Thus we can be aware of the rights we have in a certain context and benefit from
them.
The 10 rules of assertiveness
1. We have the right to assess and be the judge of our own behaviour, thoughts and emotions and
take responsibility for them and for their consequences.
2. We have the right not to justify or motivate our own behaviour.
3. We have the right to judge whether or not we are responsible for finding solutions to other
people’s problems.
4. We have the right to change our minds on a certain matter.
5. We have the right to make mistakes and account for them.
6. We have the right to say: I don’t know.
7. We have the right to behave in a certain way regardless of the kindness someone is or has been
showing us, without our asking for it.
8. We have the right to be illogical in making certain decisions.
9. We have the right to say: I don’t understand.

23. 10. We have the right to say: I don’t care. It’s the same for me. It’s not my business.
Also, this idea can only be applied within the limits of common sense and only supports
those who cannot say: No, who cannot set any limits in their relationships, who assume tasks
which are not theirs because they cannot refuse it. There are certain situations in which we can say,
within the limits of common sense, that a certain thing is not of our concern and that we do not wish
to get involved.
Social and civic skills
Tolerance is a social, ethical and religious term which applies to a community or to an
individual, which defines respect for the others‟ freedom, thoughts, behaviour and opinions,
regardless of their nature.
The 16th of November is celebrated each year as the International Tolerance Day by organising
various activities and special programmes to promote the idea of tolerance among students, in
cooperation with educational, inter-governmental and non-governmental institutions, and with the
regional media.
Tolerance is approached as an attitude, and tolerating is seen as its practice. They both play a
part in securing a peaceful cohabitation of various groups having different identities and cultural
and historical backgrounds.
The various forms of tolerating – bearing, resignation, indifference, tactical openness – express
certain institutional and behavioural practices towards otherness and difference.
The line between tolerance and recognition is represented by the two complementary trends:
democratic inclusion and the right to be different.
Characteristics of tolerance:
 respect for diversity and otherness;
 respect for the freedom of choice;
 solidarity;
 social dialogue;
 responsibility.
Civic skills endow the individual in order to take an active part in the civil life, starting from the
knowledge of social and political concepts and structures, and from the involvement in a democratic
and active participation. Civic skills are based on the knowledge of various concepts, such as
democracy, justice, equality, citizenship, civil rights, as expressed in the Fundamental Rights Chart

24. of the European Union and in other international declarations and in the same way in which they are
applied in different institutions at a local, regional, national and international levels all over Europe.
Civic skills refer to the ability of becoming actively involved in the public field along with other
people and of showing solidarity and interest in solving various issued related to the local and larger
community.
Social skills are related to personal and social welfare, which involves understanding the way in
which individuals can ensure their mental and physical health, including personal resources, or
other resources which help one‟s family and environment, and the way in which a healthy lifestyle
can help achieve this goal.
The most important part of this skill is the ability to constructively communicate in various
environments, to show tolerance, to express and understand different points of view, to
successfully negociate and to show empathy. Individuals must be able to handle stressful and
frustrating situations, to express themselves in a constructive way, and also to distinguish between
the personal and the professional fields.
Being empathic means showing understanding, friendship and respect for other people‟s
feelings, showing interest towards what other people think, say or do.
Negociation is another social skills and it means the ability to identify the common objectives
of the two parties, by clearly expressing our reasons, listening to the other side and trying to
understand their own reasons, looking for possible solutions and learning how to compromise.
Leadership: we should communicate our thoughts and feelings in order to account for our
decisions, encourage people around us, use rules and values in order to get positive results, and
develop our ability to make the others believe in us, in our abilities and honesty.
Teamwork: we should work with the others, put in ideas and efforts, take on tasks and fulfil
them, encourage the other members of the team and solve conflicts for the sake of the team itself.
Cultural diversity: we should learn how to work with people who belong to a different
ethnicity, who have a different educational or religious background. We should accept differences
between people and base our opinions about people on the way in which they behave, not on
stereotypes. Help the others integrate in the team whenever it is necessary.
Stereotypes in social relationships have a very useful function: by classifying individuals we are
able to anticipate their behaviour and plan our reactions accordingly. But creating stereotypes can
also be dangerous. Cultural stereotypes can lead to prejudice, to negative opinions regarding the
others. Stereotypes and prejudice are major obstacles in communication, and, which is more, can
lead to negative actions and feelings.

25. Training course
How to fight Domestic Violence?
An initiative for key groups
Violence has been around us longer than our ability to depict it as on the first cave paintings or
describe it as Homer in his epics. Today it is part of our daily lives in many forms: we see war
reports on the news, watch violent movies and listen to violent music. But family violence is still a
taboo, supported by the „My Home is My Castle” principle which still constitutes the foundation of
our society. A good reason to keep these boundaries up is that they divide our social and private
lives in order to preserve a space for intimacy.
There are several forms and objects of domestic violence. Physical violence appears as physical
force is being used deliberately with the potential of causing harm. It includes a wide range of acts
as biting or scratching, pushing or shoving, grabbing, choking or shaking one, pull someone‟s hair,
slap, punch or hit someone or in an extreme example the use of a weapon: a gun, knife or another
object. The use of restraints, one‟s body size or strength over a smaller and weaker person is also a
type of physical violence. Physical violence is an obvious and unmistakable form of domestic abuse
which can be spotted easily.
Another common form of domestic violence is sexual violence. Any unwanted sexual action
of a person against another person‟s body is considered to be sexual violence. This field includes
inappropriate touching, vaginal, anal or oral penetration, non-consensual sex, rape, attempted rape
or child abuse. Victims of domestic sexual violence often feel stigmatized because of what
happened to them.
Emotional violence includes all non-physical behaviors used to control and mistreat another
person in the family. Among others, rejecting, degrading or terrorizing the other person, isolating,
corrupting or exploiting them or denying their emotional responsiveness. This form of violence is
rather hard to realize and define.
Verbal violence is often a part of emotional or other kind of abuse, involving the use of
language. It can be used as countering, withholding, accusing or blaming, criticizing and
trivializing, undermining or name-calling.
Last but not least, someone suffers economic violence when their partner controls their
financial and economic resources. This kind of violence often stays unrecognized. The perpetrator
withholds the victim‟s money, prevents them from finishing education or getting a job, intentionally
squandering or misusing their common resources.

26. It is very hard to recognize these cases because of the lack of transparency. Only the worst
cases are being reported and even by these police are only focusing on the criminal aspects. Where
are the boundaries between private and public life? At which level of violence is intervention a
must? These are standard questions of this topic, as it is a standard problem to get relevant
information about cases that aren‟t reported. Surveys might be a possible solution to this problem.
Experts recognized following pattern in the cycle of domestic violence: the set-up of a situation
controlled by the abuser is followed by the actual act(s) of violence. Moving to the next stage, the
abuser is feeling guilty and fearing of reprisal, he/she may apologize and try to “bribe” the victim
with gifts, while pledging never to do it again. Then it comes to the stage of rationalization where
the abuser justifies what happened by blaming it on the victim, saying that she/he provoked the
violent act. After this phase normal behavior returns for a while, until the next abusive episode
starts to approach. This begins with the abuser fantasizing about past and future acts of violence. It
feeds his/her anger and initiates the planning of the next abusive phase. Then, the abuser starts to
set the victim up so it would start all over again.
What can we do to help victims break out of such vicious cycles? There are several
possibilities for social intervention beyond legal actions. Certain strategies and programs can be
constructed with wide publicity. It is important to focus on prevention, develop consultations and
therapies to mitigate harms. Trainings should be organized for key influential groups, e.g. teachers.
The first step to build up a training program is to obtain authentic resources. A work book
with definitions, statistics, case studies and all kind of background information about the topic is
necessary. Multimedia and other tools can help presenting real life examples in the form of
interviews, news reports etc. To prepare the training a useful handout can be compiled from local
statistics, regulations and a list of appropriate official contacts.
The objectives of the training can be divided into three sessions: the first session explores
the issue of domestic violence, discussing its trends and explaining its effects on victims through
examples. The second session prepares the trainees to recognize the symptoms of domestic violence
and make the necessary steps to get professional help for the victims. In the third session basic
communication and marketing skills are being discussed to help the effectiveness of the teachers‟
work.
In the follow-up the participants can discuss what they have learned during the sessions and
develop different strategies in teams. Optionally they can practice what they‟ve learned by
organizing local prevention campaigns or work on family programs.
Such training programs cannot be initiated without the support of schools and municipalities. But
the efforts will be awarded and the victims of domestic violence will have better chances to get help
and change their lives.

38. CURRICULA
1.Denumirea cursului: ” NO MORE TEARS”
2.Tipul cursului: formare continua
3.Număr de ore:12
4.Program orar: lunea 11,30-15,30
5.Locul de desfasurare: Liceul Teoretic “Tudor Arghezi”
6.Formatori: Florenta Avram, Popescu Oana, Georgeta Manafu
Nr Tema Nr Forma de Obiective specifice Competente pe care
crt ore activitate le formeaza
cursantilor
1 Consilieri pentru co- Curs -Sa-si insuseasca -enumera
varstnici principiile in caracteristicile
1.1.Principii în consilierea co- consilierea co- noţiunii de consiliere
vârstnicilor 1 Seminar/ varstnicilor; pentru cei de aceeaşi
1.2.Calităţi pentru consilierea activitati -Promovarea vârstă
co-vârstnicilor aplicative calitatilor si -exemplifica
1.3.Caracteristici ale caracteristicilor programe de
consilierilor pentru tineri 1 consilierilor pentru consiliere pentru
1.4. Atitudini, abilitati, tineri; adolescenţi şi tineri
cunostinte; -Sa-si dezvolte -conştientizeaza
1.5. Jocuri de rol atitudini, abilitati, importanţa
cunostinte pentru respectării principiilor
consilierea co- etice
varstnicilor; -identifica abilităţile
şi atitudinile necesare
unui consilier care
lucrează cu cei de
aceeaşi vârstă
-analizeaza strategiile
prin care se pot
dezvolta aceste
abilităţi şi atitudini
pentru un consilier
eficient
2. Lucrul cu grupul de tineri 1 Curs - sa-si insuseasca -identifica mijloacele
2.1. Cum ma pregatesc deprinderi pentru prin care poate
pentru a lucra cu un grup de lucrul cu pregăti o sesiune cu
tineri; 1 Seminar/ tinerii(organizare, un grup de tineri
2.2. Reguli pentru activitati interactiune) - enumera regulile
interactiunea in cadrul aplicative pentru interactiunea
grupului de tineri in cadrul grupului de
2.3. Jocuri de rol tineri
3. Medierea 1 Curs -Formarea - aplica procedurile
Ce este medierea si de ce? deprinderilor de pentru medierea
Proceduri folosite in 1 mediere a conflictelor;
medierea conflictelor ; Seminar/ conflictelor - respecta codul

39. Organizarea unui program de activitati elevilor mediatori si
mediere in scoala. Potentiale 1 aplicative cele cinci chei;
probleme ; -evalueaza in cadrul
Evaluarea in cadrul programului de
programului de mediere 1 mediere colegii.
4. Asertivitatea 1 Curs -promovarea - identifica
Competentele sociale 1 asertivitatii, beneficiile
Toleranta competentelor comportamentului
Stereotipuri 1 Seminar/ sociale, tolerantei
asertiv;
Masuri pentru reducerea activitati si a masurilor
violentei in scoala aplicative pentru reducerea -exerseaza tehnici
violentei in scoala de comunicare
asertivă;
- exemplifica de ce
stereotipurile sunt
periculoase;
- participa activ la
viata sociala;
- respecta masurile
pentru reducerea
violentei in scoala;
5 Evaluare finala 1 Seminar Prezentarea si -Sa anlizeze realist
comentarea activitatea
analitica a desfasurata
portofoliilor
evaluative

40. Consilieri pentru co-vârstnici
Un consilier/ o consilieră pentru co-vârstnici este o persoană special formată care lucrează
cu colegii sau colegele de aceeaşi vârstă sau de vârste apropiate în vederea conştientizării şi educării
numeroaselor provocări cu care se confruntă, în cazul de faţă a medierii conflictelor.
Astfel persoanele de aceeaşi vârstă, care împărtăşesc aceleaşi valori, tind să se asculte mai
bine unii pe alţii. Cercetările arată că adolescenţii şi tinerii găsesc mult mai credibili pe colegii/
colegele lor decât adulţii educatori şi că intervenţiile de tipul consilierea co-vârstnicilor sau „tineri
cu/ pentru tineri” dezvoltă încrederea în sine, asertivitatea în faţa presiunii grupului.
Deşi programele de consiliere pentru tineri solicită un angajament semnificativ în ceea ce
priveşte acordarea suportului, timpul, resursele, contribuţia lor este considerabilă la dezvoltarea
personală şi profesională a elevilor implicati in astfel de activitati.
o Principii în consilierea co-vârstnicilor
Consilierea co-vârstnicilor este o modalitate esenţială pentru tineri de a avea rezultate de
succes. În acest sens, pentru a atinge obiectivele stabilite, consilierii pentru tineri au datoria de
respecta în activităţile pe care le desfăşoară următoarele principii:
Confidenţialitate
Acceptare
Independenţă
Deschidere
Respect
Căldură
Egalitate
Coparticipare
Munca în echipă
Atitudine pozitivă
...
o Calităţi pentru consilierea co-vârstnicilor
deschis
informat
responsabil
de încredere, serios
angajat- care respecte angajamente
suportiv
flexibil
empatic
original
non- etichetează

41. o Caracteristici ale consilierilor pentru tineri:
este considerat de ceilalţi lider, opiniile lui contează, este popular şi poate influenţa;
manifestă abilitatea de a-i asculta pe ceilalţi, nu-i judecă;
furnizează informaţii;
are încredere în el şi în cei cu care lucrează;
ştiu să adreseze întrebări şi să ofere feedback;
se pot baza pe el, este onest în stabilirea relaţiilor;
sunt plăcuţi de ceilalţi colegi;
dau dovadă de o anumită „bunăstare”, echilibru, le place ceea ce fac;
acţionează în echipe formate din fete şi băieţi, chiar şi vârste diferite, clase diferite,
forme diferite de învăţământ;
nu este în mod necesar cel mai bun elev(ă) din clasă, dar poate fi extrem de activ în afara
şcolii, are un comportament responsabil în comunitate;
doreşte să se implice ca voluntar;
Ce este consilierul pentru cei de aceeaşi Ce NU este consilierul pentru cei de
vârstă? aceeaşi vârstă?
o un/o coleg(ă) de aceeaşi vârstă o părinte
o un lider o judecător (nu etichetează)
o o persoană formată o doctor
o o persoană care informează o critic
o ...care încurajează o sfătuitor
o ...care dezvoltă o relaţie de o expert distant
încredere o dictator (dă ordine)
o ...care ajută o superior
o ...care păstrează confidenţialitatea o ...
o ...care este flexibilă
o ...care oferă suport
o ...

42. Consilierului pentru cei de aceeaşi vârstă:
Atitudini
încredere în sine
dragoste pentru lucrul cu tinerii
respect pentru tineri şi convingerea că au dreptul să facă alegeri pentru vieţile lor
credinţa în potenţialul fiecăruia de a se dezvolta personal
deschidere pentru diversele opinii ale participanţilor
ajutor pentru rezolvarea problemelor/conflictelor
curaj de a comunica în mod onest
flexibilitate în organizarea programului, stabilirea regulilor
calm şi răbdare
simţul umorului
Abilităţi
abilităţi de comunicare (prezentare, ascultare activă, observare, adresarea întrebărilor,
acordarea de feedback, sumarizare, reflectare)
abilităţi de organizare
deprinderi de lucru în grup (metode, tehnici)
managementul resurselor (timp, spaţiu, materiale)
abilităţi de autoevaluare
Cunoştinţe
promovarea medierii conflictelor
prevenirea violentei
principii şi practici în domeniul consilierii cu cei de aceeaşi vârstă
asumarea riscului
abilităţi de comunicare
luarea deciziilor
reţeaua de suport: resurse, comunitate, consilieri din reţeaua de consiliere, şcoală,
profesori, mediatori, părinţi, colegi, formatori

43.  Lucrul cu grupul de tineri
Cum mă pregătesc pentru a lucra cu un grup de tineri?
1.Pregătirea pentru o sesiune: spaţiul trebuie pregătit din timp, fotografii, postere de la
activitatile anterioare, videoproiector, etc.
2. Pregătirea atmosferei-se poate incepe sesiunea cu scaunele asezate in cerc, implica
participantii in sesiune, foloseste voluntari, foloseste exercitii de energizare;
3. Cunoaşterea fiecăruia-prezentarea fiecarui participant este utlila pentru crearea unei
atmosfere pozitive de invatare
4. Exerciţii posibile:
- Oferă cartonaşe colorate pe care-şi scriu prenumele şi o calitate personală;
- Oferă cartonaşe pe care vor nota continuarea unor propoziţii:
6. Cel mai mult îmi place la mine ......
7. Ceea ce apreciază ceilalţi la mine este ....
8. Locul meu preferat este ......
9. Mă bazez pe mine atunci când.....
10. Pentru mine îmi doresc să ......
Reguli pentru grup
Fiecare va avea oportunitatea să vorbească.
Fiecare va participa liber, atunci când se va simţi pregătit.
Fiecare are dreptul să spună „pas”, atunci când nu doreşte să discute ceva personal.
Vorbim pe rând şi nu întrerupem.
Nu jignim şi nu facem remarci negative.
Vorbim la subiect.
Respectăm timpul pentru activităţi, suntem punctuali.
Păstrăm confidenţialitatea celor discutate aici.
Exemple de solutionare a dificultatilor intalnite in în consilierea co-vârstnicilor
Atunci când te vei întâlni cu mai mulţi tineri, le poţi propune sesiuni de grup pe care le
vei conduce singur sau împreună cu o altă colegă / coleg.
Stabileşte regulile grupului. Încă din prima secvenţă de lucru cu tinerii, cere fiecărui
tânăr să noteze pe un post-it o regulă, apoi în grupuri mici, le vor negocia şi vor selecta

44. numai 2 reguli, cele mai importante. Pe acestea, propuse de fiecare grup le vei nota pe o
coală de flip-chart şi dacă în timpul sesiunilor este nevoie, le vei reaminti.
Dacă în timpul unei activităţi apar discuţii aprinse, le vei explica politicos că acea
problemă va fi rezolvată la momentul potrivit sau că va veni rândul şi acelui subiect.
Abordează faţă în faţă persoana care crezi tu că-ţi ridică probleme şi încearcă să aflaţi ce
anume o nemulţumeşte. Dacă este necesar, explică-i cum comportamentul ei poate
influenţa grupul şi cum te poate sprijini la sarcinile viitoare.
Atunci când cineva îţi întrerupe o prezentare sau o explicaţie, spune “Scuzaţi-mă…”.
Fiecare participant are dreptul să vorbească fără a fi întrerupt. Dacă vor sesiza că
respecţi celorlalţi acest drept, nu te vor mai întrerupe. Sau poţi spune “Îmi cer scuze,
lasă-mă să-mi termin ideea şi apoi îţi vei prezenta opinia…”.
Atunci când comportamentul cuiva nu poate fi ignorat, i te poţi adresa în grup. Poţi
aduce un contraexemplu pentru ceea ce spune sau face şi, în nici un caz nu vei face
remarci legate de persoană. O recomandare a modului cum se acordă feedback cuiva
este: critică comportamentul, nu persoana!
Poţi încheia o sesiune de grup cu o discuţie despre cum se lucrează în grup. Încearcă să
faci în aşa fel încât nimeni să nu se simtă jignit.
VIOLENTA IN FAMILIE SI SCOALA
Violenta in familie reprezinta orice agresiune fizica, psihica, agresiune sexuala, suferinta
sexuala sau orice delict criminal, savarsit cu intentie de catre un membru de familie impotriva altui
membru al aceleiasi familii, care locuieste sau a locuit in acelasi spatiu de locuit cu persoana
vatamata.
Pentru femei, violenta la care sunt supuse este de sase ori mai frecventa din partea
partenerului sau a fostului partener de viata comparativ cu actele de violenta realizate de un
strain.Violenta apare si in relatiile de prietenie. Un motiv al violentei il reprezinta consumul de
alcool.
Forme ale violentei in familie:
abuzul fizic: impingerea, imbrancirea, lovirea, agresarea victimei cu o arma, imobilizarea,
legarea sau retinerea victimei, lasarea victimei intr-un loc periculos, refuzul de a ajuta o
victima bolnava sau ranita;

45. abuzul psihic: intimidarea, degradarea si umilirea, criticarea, insultarea, denigrarea
victimei, acuzatiile false, blamarea, ignorarea, ridiculizarea nevoilor victimei, mintirea,
gelozia dusa la extrem, izolarea fizica si sociala, intimidarea victimei.
abuzul sexual include orice forma de sex fortat sau de degradare sexuala.
Cei mai importanţi factori de natură familială generatori ai violenţei elevului sunt:
A. Climatul socio-afectiv din familie(relaţiile între părinţi, atitudinea părinţilor faţă de copil
versus atitudinea copilului faţă de familie)
B. Tipul familiei(organizată, dezorganizată prin divorţ, despărţire sau deces, reorganizată. )
C. Condiţiile economice ale familiei ( cartierelor cu o rată ridicată a şomajului, cu o pondere
mare a forţei de muncă slab calificată, cu concentrare de populaţie de origine străină cu şanse
reduse de inserţie profesională, li se asociază o rată ridicată a criminalităţii, inclusiv o mai mare
amploare a fenomenelor de violenţă în şcoală.)
D. Dimensiunea familiei (impunerea disciplinei, stilul de autoritate - egal sau preferenţial-
faţă de toţi copiii)
E. Nivelul de educaţie al părinţilor(statutul socio-profesional şi cultural al familiei are un rol
important în adaptarea / inadaptarea şcolară a copiilor şi în apariţia sau prevenirea manifestărilor de
violenţă)
Într-o acţiune umană, violenţa se manifestă atunci când formele şi mijloacele folosite produc uneia
sau mai multor persoane neajunsuri majore:
în ceea ce priveşte integritatea fizică(prin bruscare sau maltratare corporală,rănire,schilodire,
ucidere);
în ceea ce priveşte integritatea psihică(prin alterarea stării sufleteşti şi intelectuale);
în ceea ce priveşte integritatea morală(prin bârfă, calomnie, defăimare, hulire, prin acuzaţii
şi condamnări nedrepte, prin orice fel de nedreptăţire);
în ceea ce priveşte identitatea etnică ,religioasă, culturală şi socială(prin interzicerea sau
împiedicarea utilizării limbii materne, a credinţei religioase, a promovării valorilor proprii
etc.)
Violenţa poate fi clasificată în diferite forme:
a) - v. fizică(ex.bătaia, războiul);
- v. morală(ex. nedreptatea, injuria);
b) - v. materială(ex. arderea unei cărţi, distrugerea unui bun);
- v. simbolică (ex. interzicerea unei cărţi);
c) - v. directă(ex. împuşcarea cuiva);
- v. indirectă(ex. ordinul de a împuşca a cuiva);

46. Cauzele violenţei ţin de mediul în care omul creşte şi se dezvoltă: cauze legate de mediul
familial, mediul şcolar, anturaj, mass-media.
Reducerea violenţei la nivelul unei societăţi depinde de ameliorarea cauzelor acesteia, de
eficienţa mecanismelor de control ale instituţiilor, dar şi de capacitatea fiecărui om de a înţelege că
agresiunea nu este cea care ne ajută să ne rezolvăm problemele.
Specialiştii reperează două tipuri de violenta în mediul scolar:
violenţe obiective, care sunt de ordinul penalului (crime si delicte) si asupra carora se poate
interveni frontal
violenţe subiective, care sunt violente mai subtile, de atitudine si care afecteaza climatul
scolar: dispretul, umilirea, sfidarea, atitudini antiscolare.
O forma de violenţă foarte raspândita este cea verbală. Violenţa verbala nu este perceputa în
aceeaşi manieră de elevi şi de profesori, elevii o minimalizeaza, în timp ce profesorii o
supraevalueaza.
Violenta şcolară trebuie determinată luând în calcul contextul şi cultura şcolară.
Violenta perturbă grav mediul scolar, deteriorează climatul în scoala, afectează raporturile
dintre profesori si elevi. Fenomenul violentei scolare se întinde pe o scară largă, la ale carei capete
se afla violentele verbale (care sunt numeroase si pot afecta ambianta scolara) şi respectiv violenţa
fizică care poate îmbraca forme grave de manifestare.
Violenta in scoala
Factorii care generează producerea incidentelor violente în şcoli sunt:
influenţa filmelor de acţiune şi a jocurilor PC ;
modele de comportament învăţate în familie ;
modele de comportament promovate între elevi care valorizează impunerea în faţa celorlalţi
;
atragerea atenţiei prin atitudini sfidătoare, zgomotoase,
stresul datorat cerinţelor şcolare;
diferente de relationare pe care le fac unii profesori fata de elevi, diferente care pot genera
conflicte, agresiune;
Cel mai frecvent intalnim incidente violente ale unor elevi fata de alti elevi. Acestea sunt urmate
de persoane din afara scolii fata de elevi.
Cele mai frecvente tipuri de agresiuni întâlnite sunt: injurii şi vulgarităţi, ameninţări, presiuni
psihice (intimidări) şi gesturi agresive moderate (îmbrânceli, piedici, loviri umilitoare etc.).
Existat însă si situaţii conflictuale care au avut loc în zone adiacente şcolilor
În orice instituţie există un regulament care stabileşte drepturile, obligaţiile, dar şi sancţiunile
care se aplică celor care încalcă regulamentul, orice comportament agresiv fiind sancţionat conform

47. regulamentului. Prin urmare, dacă un tânăr este ţinta uneia dintre formele de violenţă trebuie să
apeleze la persoanele abilitate să intervină. În şcoală trebuie anunţat dirigintele clasei, unul dintre
profesori sau, după caz, conducerea şcolii. Pe stradă apelăm la un poliţist, dacă este în apropiere,
sau apelăm numărul de urgenţă 112. Un copil poate apela la adulţi, dacă sunt în preajmă, sau îşi
anunţă telefonic rudele.
Sprijinirea comportamentului responsabil
Este important atunci când îţi asumi rolul de consilier pentru persoane de aceeaşi vârstă cu tine să
fii suportiv, adică să le oferi sprijin (suport) în exersarea unui comportament asertiv. Ca sa putem
deveni asertivi, trebuie sa trecem printr-un pas obligatoriu: sa invatam sa comunicam.
Comportamentul pasiv Comportamentul asertiv Comportamentul agresiv
Îi lasă pe ceilalţi să Spui cuiva exact ce Îşi exprimă emoţiile,
decidă, îi lasă pe ceilalţi doreşti, dar într-un mod opiniile sau dorinţele într-
să ghicească ceea ce care să nu-l rănească. un mod care ameninţă sau
doreşte. Afirmă-ţi propriile pedepseşte altă persoană.
Mai mult vorbeşte drepturi, fără să le ignori Contează numai propriile
despre drepturile sale, pe ale celorlalţi. drepturi, nu şi ale
dar nu acţionează. Respectă-te pe tine ca pe celorlalţi.
Ceilalţi sunt pe primul oricine altcineva. El este pe primul loc.
loc. Ascultă şi vorbeşte. Este autoritar cu ceilalţi.
Contează mai mult ce Exprimă şi emoţiile Îşi atinge obiectivele, dar
doresc ceilalţi. pozitive şi pe cele în detrimentul celorlalţi.
Rămâne tăcut când ceva negative. Comportament dominant:
îl deranjează. Fii încrezător, dar nu-i strigă, ţipă, nu ascultă
Îşi cere frecvent scuze. forţa pe ceilalţi. când ceilalţi vorbesc, îi
Se comportă submisiv: priveşte de sus pe ceilalţi,
vorbeşte foarte încet, dă le arată degetul,
din umeri, evită ameninţă, comandă, îi
dezacordurile, îşi învinuieşte pe ceilalţi.
ascunde faţa cu mâinile.

48. Masuri pentru reducerea violentei in scoala
În şedinţa Consiliului de Administraţie din data de 11.10.2010 au fosta doptate măsuri
suplimentare privind asigurarea securităţii elevilor în şcoală şi în afara ei, în măsura în care şcoala
poate fi sprijin pentru securitatea elevilor în afara acesteia.
Astfel, au fost luate următoarele decizii:
- necesitatea purtării permanente a ecusoanelor, ca semn distinctiv al unităţii, în incinta şcolii de
către toţi elevii şi angajaţii liceului;
- interdicţia de a introduce în şcoală sau de a consuma ţigări, băuturi alcoolice, droguri, materiale
pornografice. Aceste interdicţii se referă şi la spaţiul din vecinătatea şcolii;
- abţinerea de la provocări în relaţiile dintre elevi sau dintre aceştia şi persoanele străine şcolii,
oriunde s-ar afla. Situaţiile deosebite vor fi aduse la cunoştinţa dirigintelui, a altor cadre didactice,
sau conducerii şcolii;
- interdicţia ieşirii elevilor din incinta şcolii în timpul orelor de curs;
- profesorii de serviciu îşi vor desfăşura serviciul pe şcoală, în perioada pauzelor, în mijlocul
elevilor pe toată durata turei;
- femeile de serviciu şi muncitorul de întreţinere vor fi prezenţi permanent pe culoarele liceului;
- profesorii de serviciu, împreună cu diriginţii, vor organiza şi instrui elevii de serviciu asupra
sarcinilor ce le revin şi obligativitatea respectării acestora;
- diriginţii vor anunţa în scris conducerea şcolii şi serviciul secretariat numele şi prenumele elevilor
acre vor face de serviciu;
- serviciul secretariat va face planificarea, pe zile şi ture, a elevilor de serviciu;
- uşa dinspre partea de vest se va deschide, sub control, doar în pauzele înc are se distribuie cornul
şi laptele;
- pentru asigurarea securităţii elevilor în zona sălilor de sport, profesorii de sport au obligaţia de a
monitoriza tot ce se întâmplă în sălile de sport şi în apropierea lor, şi să ia măsurile necesare în
cazul unor abateri;
- elevii navetişti, care, conform constatării diriginţilor, nu pot face de serviciu nu vor fi cuprinşi pe
lista celor care vor face de serviciu;
- informaticianul şcolii va supraveghea permanent zona din partea de sud a şcolii, astfel încât să nu
existe posibilitatea ca elevi ai şcolii sau persoane străine să perturbe activitatea didactică;

49. - afişarea atribuţiilor profesorilor şi elevilor de serviciu, astfel încât perosanele vizate să aibă acces
la informaţii;
- introducerea unui model de referat, care să poată fi înaintat persoanelor autorizate, atunci când
este cazul, în vederea remedierii situaţiei ivite;
- elevii problemă vor fi îndrumaţi către consilierul psihopedagogic şi poliţiştul de proximitate;
- în perioada imediat următoare, diriginţii vor prelucra în cadrul orelor de dirigenţie un material
despre violenţă, întocmit de către consilierul psihopedagogic;
- se vor instala noi camere video, care să asigure, pe cât posibil, monitorizarea întregului spaţiu al
şcolii;
- directorii adjuncţi îşi vor desfăşura activitatea în birou doar atunci când este necesar. Ei vor
controla, permanent, toată incinta şcolii şi spaţiile aferente, având ca ajutor pe administratorul
şcolii, pe profesorii şi elevii de serviciu;
- directorii adjuncţi vor asigura prezenţa permanentă pe culoarele şcolii, a femeilor de serviciu şi a
muncitorului de întreţinere, astfel încât să poată fi asigurată suprevegherea elevilor pe timpul orelor
şi a pauzelor;
- la schimbul de ture, directorul adjunct din tura I va aduce la cunoştinţa celuilalt director adjunct
problemele ivite în timpul programului şi vor stabili de comun acord măsurile ce se impun;
- prima tura a directorului adjunct începe la 7.15 şi se încheie la 13.45, iar cealaltă începe la 13.30 şi
se termină la 19.45, cu posibilitatea de prelungire a programului atunci când este cazul;
- directorii adjuncţi vor trece de câte ori este nevoie pe la clase, ţinând legătura cu profesorii şi
diriginţii, astfel încât să se afle şi să se rezolve la timp eventualele altercaţii între elevi sau între
elevi şi persoane din afara şcolii. În rezolvarea acestor situaţii directorii adjuncţi vor apela la
consilierul psihopedagogic, al diriginţilor, părinţilor, jandarmilor şi al poliţiei;
- directorii adjuncţi vor asigura intrarea şi ieşirea elevilor în şi din şcoală, în ordine şi fără riscuri,
monitorizând la schimbul de ture participarea tuturor angajaţilor şcolii ce trebuie să se implice
(profesori de serviciu, învăţătorii sau profesorii care au ultima oră la clasele primare, femeile de
serviciu, muncitorul de întreţinere, administratorul şi portarul);
- aceleaşi atribuţii ca cele ale directorilor adjuncţi vor fi îndeplinite şi de către directorul liceului;
- învăţătorii sau profesorii care au prima oră la clasele primare vor fi prezenţi în şcoală cu 15 minute
de începerea cursurilorşi vor primi elevii, iar la sfârşitul programului vor conduce copiii către
ieşires din şcoală

50. MĂSURI PENTRU REDUCEREA VIOLENŢEI ÎN ŞCOALĂ
- COMISIA PENTRU PREVENIREA SI COMBATEREA VIOLENTEI IN SCOALA-
1. Verificarea modului de respectare a regulamentului de ordine interioară a liceului;
2. Implicarea consilierului şcolar din cadrul cabinetului de consiliere în vederea identificării
timpurii a cazurilor de risc ridicat de apariţie a unor comportamente violente şi adoptarea
unor strategii de prevenire a actelor agresive;
3. Organizarea unor concursuri în cadrul proiectelor desfăşurate la nivel de unitate şcolară sau
în colaborare cu alte instituţii în vederea identificării şi eliminării posibilelor cauze ale
violenţei şcolare;
4. Organizarea unor competiţii sportive în vederea promovării regulilor de toleranţă şi fair
play;
5. Organizarea unor intalniri interactive cu specialişti (psihologi, asistenţi sociali, medici,
poliţişti jandarmi, jurişti etc) în vederea conştientizării riscurilor asociate comportamentelor
agresive şi a metodelor de prevenire;
6. Organizarea şi desfăşurarea unor proiecte la nivelul unităţilor şcolare de implicare a elevilor,
a Consiliilor de elevi, in stabilirea “Codului non-violenţei” (norme, sloganuri, afişe, etc)
pentru prevenirea şi combaterea violenţei în şcoală şi în comunitate;
7. Accesul în şcoală a tuturor persoanelor (părinţi şi colaboratori) se va face pe bază de
legitimaţie/ buletin de identitate, sens în care se va întocmi un registru, în care se vor
evidenţia datele de stare civilă, felul actului de identitate, persoana din şcoală la care se va
merge, ora intrării, ora ieşirii, observaţii deosebite;
8. Elevii şi profesorii de serviciu vor ţine legătura permanent cu patrulele de jandarmi care
acţionează în zonă, semnalând imediat orice eveniment susceptibil de a tulbura ordinea şi
buna desfăşurare a orelor de curs;
9. Afişarea numerelor de urgenţă ale poliţiei, jandarmeriei (Poliţia Primăriei, Jandarmeria
Craiova) la cancelarie şi avizierul şcolar.
10. Profesorii diriginţi vor realiza tabele, care vor fi date doamnei consilier psipopedagogic
Florenţa Avram, în care vor consemna eventualele probleme, atitudinile elevilor cu
predispoziţii delincvente, tabele care vor rămâne la cabinetul doamnei consilier, urmând a
fi consultate şi de agentul sectorist;

51. 11. Organizarea de activităţi cu caracter preventiv, educativ, având ca scop prevenirea
delincvenţei juvenile, victimizării elevilor, informarea tinerilor asupra pericolelor existente
la vârsta adolescenţei, dezvoltarea iniţiativei proprii şi a gândirii individuale, sens în care se
va întocmi un grafic al participării unor cadre de poliţie la susţinerea unor teme specifice de
educaţie juridică antiinfracţională.
12. Instruirea personalului de pază de către organele abilitate – Inspectoratul de Poliţie al
Judeţului Dolj;
13. Organizarea de acţiuni comune în care să fie implicate cadre didactice, comitetul de părinţi,
consilierul consultativ al elevilor, cadre de poliţie, jandarmi şi reprezentanţi ai administraţiei
publice locale, acţiuni care să vizeze locurile şi mediile frecventate de elevi în afara
programului şcolar.
IMPLEMENTAREA SISTEMULUI DE MEDIERE A CONFLICTELOR ÎN
LICEUL TEORETIC ”TUDOR ARGHEZI” CRAIOVA, MODALITATE DE
RESPONSABILIZARE A ELEVILOR
Ce înseamnă a media un conflict? „A media înseamnă a interveni între părţile ostile şi a le
conducespre schimbarea atitudinii şi a percepţiei celeilalte părţi din oponent în partener şi spre
rezolvarea conflictului”. (Ana Stoica Constantin, 2004). In ceea ce priveste medierea conflictelor
între elevi de către elevi, medierea implică o intervenţie imparţială din partea unui elev mediator,
care nu poate impune o soluţie, dar poate ajuta parţile să o gasescă. Scopul medierii este de
rezolvare a conflictului şi de modelare a gestionării situaţiilor conflictuale viitoare.Este foarte
important ca elevul mediator să fie solicitat de cel puţin una dintre părţi şi să fie acceptat de toate
părţile.
Medierea conflictelor între elevi de către elevi are la bază două principii:
•Şcoala care oferă elevilor o cale de gestionare a conflictelor stimulează succesul elevului in
mai multe domenii.
•Elevii formaţi în medierea conflictelor îşi ajută colegii mai bine decât adulţii.
Implementarea programului de mediere în Liceul Teoretic ”Tudor Arghezi” Craiova a inclus

52. activităţile necesare pentru:
•pregătirea introducerii sistemului de mediere a conflictelor între elevi de către elevi;
•promovarea sistemului în şcoală şi informarea elevilor;
•asigurarea funcţionării sistemului;
•monitorizarea şi evaluarea eficienţei sistemului.
Atunci când apare un conflict între doi elevi, elevii mediatori (întotdeauna doi) se întâlnesc
cu victima agresiunii, apoi cu persoana care se presupune că a fost agresiv, apoi cu amândouă
părţile implicate.
Există o procedură standard în cazul întâlnirii cu persoana agresată, formată din şase etape,
procedură asupra căreia elevii mediatori au fost instruiţi. Întâlnirea cu elevul agresor cuprinde şi ea
mai multe etape Întâlnirea de mediere are loc în urma stabilirii unui moment propice. La această
întâlnire participă elevii mediatori(câte doi de la fiecare clasă) şi cei implicaţi în conflict. În cazul în
care victima sau agresorul solicită prezenţa unui profesor, un membru abilitat din personalul şcolii
va participa de asemenea la discuţie. Ea se finalizează, în principiu, cu o împăcare. Conflictul şi
agresorul sunt înregistraţi într-o bază de date permanent actualizată, iar în cazul repetării
comportamentului deviant elevul respectiv va suporta sancţiuni graduale, conform codului
mediatorilor. Elevii propuşi pentru mediere au semnat un contract cu şcoala, prin care, cu
consimţământul părinţilor, s-au angajat să colaboreze cu persoanele competente şi să aibă un
comportament şcolar şi social adecvat. Ei au primit însemne specifice, astfel încât să poată fi uşor
identificaţi şi solicitaţi de victime, dacă un reprezentant al clasei acestora nu e prin preajmă în
momentul producerii incidentului.
CODUL ELEVILOR MEDIATORI
Mediatorii evită conflictele fizice. Dacă ele apar, mediatorii anunţă profesorul de
serviciu, dirigintele, directorul sau alt membru al personalului şcolii.
Există un număr de 5 conflicte permise peentru fiecare elev, înregistrate doar în agenda
mediatorilor. Pentru obiectivitate, un elev va trata cu victima, iar celălalt cu agresorul, în timp ce
colegul său îşi va lua notiţe pentru a asigura respectarea procedurilor standard de mediere.
Dacă se depăşesc cele 5 conflicte, elevul respectiv este luat în evidenţa şcolii pentru
comportament inadecvat şi va fi supus unei anumite sancţiuni, în funcţie de gravitatea faptelor sale.