We really do love our clients, but some of the things they do to shoot themselves in the foot are amusing…if not predictable.
We've been designing business websites since 1999, and we've learned a thing or two about what to expect from our otherwise well intentioned clientele.
Now we’re not above sarcasm, so we put together this expert’s guide detailing how a business owner can be their own worst enemy and effectively flush their website budget down the commode.(Or at least cause some delays).
Why would a guide detailing how to obstruct, delay and degrade website development be necessary when it appears to come so naturally? Well, it’s not. We just thought it would be entertaining, so we rehashed all the things we've seen actual clients do that really hinder their own projects and had some fun with it.
Did we leave anything out? Let me know....
www.KreativeWebworks.com
2. A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure
you get something you don’t
want that is consistently
Behind schedule.
3. A Sarcastic Collection of Tips & Tricks to ensure
you get something you don’t
want that is consistently
Behind schedule.
After all, if you won’t like it,
what’s the hurry?
5. Lesson #1
Put it on auto pilot!
Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re
looking to shed some of that unwanted cash, go ahead and
take advantage of their telepathic powers and let them do
all your thinking for you.
6. Lesson #1
Put it on auto pilot!
Even the best design firms can’t work in a vacuum. If you’re
looking to shed some of that unwanted cash, go ahead and
take advantage of their telepathic powers and let them do
all your thinking for you.
PRO TIP: Tell them whatever they do will be fine…they’re
the professionals. Then critique them mercilessly when they
don’t read your mind.
7. Never respond right away!
Don’t spoil your development team by
immediately responding to their questions
or supplying thoughtful feedback.
That way you can avoid becoming
their number one priority.
8. Never respond right away!
Don’t spoil your development team by
immediately responding to their questions
or supplying thoughtful feedback.
That way you can avoid becoming
their number one priority.
PRO TIP: Make sure you tease
them a bit by only addressing
part of their request.
9. Don’t Test it Yourself
Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for
telepathy, you can be assured that everything will work just like it did in your head.
10. Don’t Test it Yourself
Why should you? After all, they’re the professionals. And given the industry requirement for
telepathy, you can be assured that everything will work just like it did in your head.
PRO TIP: Not testing a website
before launching it is particularly
effective with government Health
Care projects.
11. Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they have an opinion.
12. Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they have an opinion.
Take advantage of this phenomenon by making sure that everyone has a little piece of
themselves in the final project.
13. Management by Committee
Everyone has an opinion, and even if they don’t, they’ll chime in so that everyone thinks
they have an opinion.
Take advantage of this phenomenon by making sure that everyone has a little piece of
themselves in the final project.
Remember… a Camel is really just a Horse built by committee. And after all, isn’t a camel
more interesting?
14. Trickle your changes in one at a time
You wouldn’t want to overwhelm
your design team by letting them
organize the project all at once.
This way they can have 10 or 20
miniature projects to manage
instead of just one.
16. Do it Yourself!
After all, you have plenty of time to learn
about marketing, design and coding.
What do you think all those “Dummies”
books are for?
Everyone loves that “homemade” look,
and in just a few short months…Presto!
17. Use the Cheapest Technology Available
Don’t offend your customers with one of
those fancy “user friendly” websites that
scream “Look at me… I take my company
seriously”. And what better way to
showcase your thriftiness than to cut
corners on the company website?
18. Delegate it to an intern
Why not let the 22 year old kid
with no business experience do it?
After all, he’s good at Twitter, he
must be good at business
websites.
19. Before you Continue
Just wanted to let you
know that we have a
special free “No-Strings”
VIP offer for you at the
end of the presentation.
OK…go ahead…..
20. Make it clear you have no budget
Nothing incentivizes web
developers to do their best
work like dropping subtle hints
about your willingness to make
your website a low priority in
your business.
21. Make it clear you have no budget
Nothing incentivizes web
developers to do their best
work like dropping subtle hints
about your willingness to make
your website a low priority in
your business.
PRO TIP: Never tell them your
true budget so they will
magically give you more than
they think you have to invest.
22. Squeeze 10 pounds of Crap into a 5 pound Bag!
People like to look at things, so take the opportunity to jam-pack
each page full of visually stimulating eye candy. That way they will
appreciate what they are looking for if they ever find it.
23. Skip that Search Engine stuff
Wait until after the website has been built to
start thinking about how your customers are
going to find you.
24. Skip that Search Engine stuff
Wait until after the website has been built to
start thinking about how your customers are
going to find you.
Pro Tip:
Demand the most
convoluted navigation and
code heavy features
possible to thoroughly
confuse the search engines.
25. Ignore Mobile!
Why not cram your
entire website onto a
viewing area the size
of a postage stamp?
26. Ignore Mobile!
Why not cram your
entire website onto a
viewing area the size
of a postage stamp?
PRO TIP: Make sure the
navigation buttons are
smaller than your fingertips
so your customers can’t
click on what they were
aiming for.
28. Just throw
something up
there for now.
Nothing conveys attention to detail like a
placeholder for a website. That way your
customers will assume that you are
spending your time on them and not
pesky details like your company image.
29. Just throw
something up
there for now.
Nothing conveys attention to detail like a
placeholder for a website. That way your
customers will assume that you are
spending your time on them and not
pesky details like your company image.
“If you don’t have time to do it right…
you’ll probably have plenty of time to
do it over”
30. Assume it’s Easy!
Make sure that your
development team knows
that you know how easy it
is. That way you can
trivialize their knowledge
and be assured of their
best effort.
31. Choose your developer based solely
on price
All websites are the same, so they
should all cost the same. After all,
all cars are equal and they all cost
the same…right?
32. It’s all about you!
Above all, make sure
that your website is
all about you and
not your customers.
33. It’s all about you!
Above all, make sure
that your website is
all about you and
not your customers.
If they want a website
that works for them, they
can go to your competitors.
This one is yours…
34. Full Service Digital Marketing Since 1999
• Website Development
• Search Marketing Strategies
• Social Media Technologies & Management
We’re not just a bunch of pretty faces