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June 16 Presentation
- 1. LGBTQQIA Alphabet Soup Doris Dirks Coordinator, Northwestern University LGBT Resource Center
- 2. Outline Language Homophobia, Heterosexism & Heterosexual Privilege Current Issues Transgender & Intersex The LGB&T Connection, Bisexuality, Intersecting Identities Becoming an Ally Resources Last Minute Q & A
- 3. A word about language… LGB- Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual Transgender & Cisgender Intersex Q- Queer, Questioning The Closet
- 4. What is an Ally? Ends oppression personally and professionally through support and advocacy Confronts homophobia and gender normative privilege in self and others Believes gay and transgender rights are social justice issues
- 5. Problematic or Offensive Language Homosexual Sexual Preference Special Rights Gay Agenda Lifestyle Choice
- 6. Heterosexism, Homophobia, & Heterosexual Privilege Belief that heterosexuality is the only “natural” sexuality Fear or hatred of LGB people Includes privileges including the right to marry, the right to employment protection, the right to show your partner affection in public
- 7. Without legal marriage rights, couples face challenges that are overwhelming. What would you do? Marriage offers 1,138 Federal benefits and responsibilities, not including hundreds more offered by every state. Finances Family and Children Current Issues: Marriage, Family
- 8. The Healthy Advantage Studies show that people who are married tend to live longer and lead healthier lives. The Golden Years Often times, when both partners reach the age in which nursing home care is necessary, relatives have the final say, separating the couple by putting them in different elderly care facilities. Social Security; Medicaid; Medical Treatment and Hospital Visitation; IRAs & Retirement Planning. In 29 states, it is legal to fire someone based on their sexual orientation. In 38 states, it is legal to do so based on gender identity. Employment Non-Discrimination Act. Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Current Issues: Health, Employment
- 9. Terminology Gender Identity: An individual’s internal self-conception of being male, female, or something else. Gender Expression: How one chooses to express one’s gender identity to others through behavior, clothing, hairstyle, voice, body characteristics, etc.
- 10. *** ***Intersex people don’t necessarily identify as transgender
- 11. Intersex Definition Sex chromosomes, genitalia, reproductive system not ‘standard’ for male or female Set of medical conditions, not disorders May include, but not necessarily, anatomical ambiguity Not XX or XY = 1 in 1,666 Klinefelter Syndrome (47, XXY) Turner Syndrome (45, XO) Mosaicism (45, XO/46, XY)
- 12. Continuum SEX Male Intersex Female GENDER IDENTITY Man/Boy Transgender/Genderqueer Woman/girl Two-spirited/etc. GENDER EXPRESSION Masculine Androgynous Feminine SEXUAL ORIENTATION Attracted to women Attracted to all/both/none Attracted to men
- 13. Gender Diverse Community Challenges Psychological Family reactions Secrecy Financial needs
- 14. The LGB and T Connection Where does sexual orientation fit in? Transgender people can have any sexual orientation LGB people can have any gender identity Gendered perceptions about LGB people
- 15. Bisexuality & Intersecting Identities Bisexuals are often hidden. If they are in a straight or gay relationship their identities are often mistaken. It is important to allow people to identify themselves. LGBT people, just like straight people, have a variety of identities like race, religion, nationality, class, abilities, … The LGBTQA CAN offers many ally trainings, including Safe Space, SBNN, Transgender Ally training, & the Social Justice Ally training.
- 16. 5 Ways to Be a Good Ally Don’t assume everyone is heterosexual DO NOT EVER out someone – just because you might know, don’t assume that others do or should Avoid anti-LGBT jokes and conversations Actively pursue a process of self-education - read and ask questions Interrupt prejudice and take action against oppression, even when people from the target group are not present
- 17. What to do if a friend is LGB? Do not assume sexual orientation Do not assume LGB friends find you attractive Be honest about your feelings Your friend has not changed Respect confidentiality Know your resources Hold all friends to equal standards
- 18. What to do if a friend is T? Think about your own gender identity and expression Be “out” and public about your support Speak on behalf of targeted individuals Be sensitive to privacy re: surgical or hormonal status or medical condition Recognize the efforts of others to confront inappropriate behaviors Encourage LGB community to learn about trans issues
- 19. Resources Center on Halsted Howard Brown Gerber Hart Library Leather Archives and Museum Windy City Times & Chicago Free Press National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Human Rights Campaign Transgender Law & Policy Institute
Notes de l'éditeur
- Lesbian - A woman who has primary emotional and sexual attraction to other women. Sometimes a lesbian engages in sexual behaviors with men, even though she may self-identify as lesbian. A smaller number of lesbians may never have had sex with another woman for a whole host of reasons (age, societal pressures, lack of opportunity, fear of discrimination), but nonetheless realize that their attraction is mainly to other women. It is important to note that some women who have sex with other women, sometimes exclusively, may not call themselves lesbians.Bisexual - Bisexuality is the potential to feel sexually attracted to and to engage in sensual or sexual relationships with people of either sex. A bisexual person may not be equally attracted to both sexes, and the degree of attraction may vary over time. Self-perception is the key to a bisexual identity. Many people engage in sexual activity with people of both sexes, yet do not identify as bisexual. Likewise, other people engage in sexual relations only with people of one sex, or do not engage in sexual activity at all, yet consider themselves bisexual. There is no behavioral “test'” to determine whether or not one is bisexual. Gay - 1. A man whose primary sexual and romantic attraction is to other men. 2. An inclusive term encompassing gay men, lesbians, bisexual people, and sometimes even transgender people. The term is still used in the broader sense in spoken shorthand, as in "The Gay Pride Parade is at the end of June.“Queer - This originally derogatory term used to describe gay and lesbian individuals has been reclaimed by some members of LGBTQ communities. As a general rule, it is not considered ok for people who are not part of such communities to use the term to apply to others. Some LGBT people object to the use of the term. Some people who others would identify as straight claim this term to indicate their rejection of compulsory heterosexuality or to describe their gender identity.In the Closet - Not being open about one's sexual orientation or gender identity.Language – self-definitionSame gender loving (SGL)Men who have sex with men (MSM)Women who love women (WLW)Behavioral terminology in addition to sociopolitical definitions of LGB
- Heterosexism - Belief that heterosexuality is the only "natural" sexuality and that it is inherently healthier or superior to other types of sexuality; an ideological system that denies, denigrates, and stigmatizes any non-heterosexual form of behavior; condones discriminatory practices and violence against LGBTQ individuals and creates unique developmental challenges otherwise not present such as overcoming internalized homophobia and coming out.Heterosexual privilege includes:The right to marry.The right to kiss/show affection in public.The right to talk about your relationship.The right to not question your normalcy.The right to show pain openly when a relationship ends.The right to bear children without question.The right to be validated by your religion.The right to be socially accepted.The right to dress without worrying what it represents.The right to have in-laws.The right not to hide friends and social activities geared towards the same sex.The right to share holidays with significant others and your family.The right to openly discuss politics without fear of someone reading between the lines. The right to have your children be comfortable with their friends and peers.The right to family support.Homophobia - Irrational fear or hatred of lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender people; the responses of fear, disgust, anger, discomfort, and aversion that individuals experience in dealing with gay people; often it is manifest in the form of discrimination and prejudice. An idea that “typically” condones discriminatory practices and violence against LGBTQ individuals and creates unique developmental challenges otherwise not present such as overcoming internalized homophobia and coming out.
- Back in The US, Marriage offers many legal benefits and responsibilities that protect families. Here are just a fraction of why marriage matters to those couples who choose to marry.The PracticalMarriage offers 1,138 Federal benefits and responsibilities, not including hundreds more offered by every state. * In times of crisis, spouses have hospital visitation rights and can make medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse. * Employers offer spouses sick leave, bereavement leave, access to health insurance and pension * The law provides certain automatic rights to a person's spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists. * Married couples in elderly care facilities are generally not separated unless one spouse's health dictates hospitalization or special care. * The dissolution of a marriage requires a determination of property distribution, award of child custody and support and spousal support. Absent divorce, there is no uniform system for sorting out the ending of a relationship.The FinancesFinancial issues are complex and challenging, no matter the couple. And when home ownership, kids and other assets are a part of the equation, planning for the present and especially the future is even more critical for greater security. * Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other without being taxed. * The law presumes that a married couple with both names on the title to their home owns the property as "tenants by the entirety." * A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection of their marital home. * Many married people are entitled to financial benefits relating to their spouses, such as disability, pension and social security benefits. * With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit and to file joint tax returns (and pay the marriage penalty), and obtain joint health, home and auto insurance policies. * When a spouse dies, there is no need to prove ownership of every item in the household for taxable purposes.Protecting Children * A child who grows up with married parents benefits from the fact that his or her parents' relationship is recognized by law and receives legal protections. * Spouses are generally entitled to joint child custody and visitation upon divorce (and bear an obligation to pay child support). * The mark of a strong family and healthy children is having parents who are nurturing, caring, and loving. Parents should be judged on their ability to parent, not by their age, race, religion, gender, disability, sexual orientation or gender identity. A recent study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, entitled The Effects of Marriage, Civil Union, and Domestic Partnership Laws on the Health and Well-being of Children found that: * Same-gender couples live in 99.3% of all US counties. * Same-gender couples are raising children in at least 96% of all US counties. * Nearly one quarter of all same-gender couples are raising children. * Nationwide, 34.3% of lesbian couples are raising children, and 22.3% of gay male couples are raising children (compared with 45.6% of married heterosexual and 43.1% of unmarried heterosexual couples raising children). * Vermont has the largest aggregation of same gender-couples (~1% of all households) followed by California, Washington, Massachusetts, and Oregon. According to a new study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics: Census 2000 and related demographic research make it clear that parenting by same-gender couples is an established and growing part of the diverse structure of families in the United States. Public policies that aim to promote family stability and security typically are established without consideration for same-gender parents and their children, and they place these families at a disadvantage, as they do heterosexual unmarried parents, single parents, and extended-family caregivers. Public policy designed to promote the family as the basic building block of society has at its core the protection of children's health and well-being. Children's well being relies in large part on a complex blend of their own legal rights and the rights derived, under law, from their parents. Children of same-gender parents often experience economic, legal, and familial insecurity as a result of the absence of legal recognition of their bonds to their nonbiological parents. Current public-policy trends, with notable exceptions, favor limiting or prohibiting the availability of civil marriage and limiting rights and protections to same-gender couples. To read more about this study go to: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/118/1/349 The Healthy AdvantageStudies show that people who are married tend to live longer and lead healthier lives. * For adults, a stable, happy marriage is the best protector against illness and premature death. Decades of research have clearly established these links. (Burman & Margolin, 1992; Dawson, 1991; Verbrugge, 1979). * Studies on marriages have found that married people live longer, have higher incomes and wealth, engage less in risky behaviors, eat more healthily, and have fewer psychological problems than unmarried people. (Waite, Linda J. "Why Marriage Matters." Strengthening Marriage Roundtable. Washington, DC, June 1997) * Research shows that unmarried couples have lower levels of happiness and well-being than married couples. (Popenoe, David and Dafoe Whitehead, Barbara, USA Today, July, 2000) A recent study shows that denying same-sex couples the right to marry has a negative impact on their mental health. * I Do, But I can't: The impact of marriage denial on the mental health of sexual citizenship of Lesbians and Gay Men in the United States (Herdt, G. & Kertzner, R. 2006). http://www.nsrc.sfsu.edu THE GOLDEN YEARSNo matter how many years together, a gay or lesbian elderly couple faces special challenges, above and beyond and opposite-sex elderly couple. Often times, when both partners reach the age in which nursing home care is necessary, relatives have the final say, separating the couple by putting them in different elderly care facilities.This tragedy brings to light the special vulnerability of older gay Americans. At the age when they are least able to protect themselves, gay retirees are cruelly victimized by discriminatory attitudes, regulations and laws. Moreover, older gay people, fearing neglect or outright abuse at the hands of hostile nursing home personnel, often find themselves retreating into the closet after living openly for much of their lives. In fact, a 1994 New York state survey found that gay elders were not welcome at 46 percent of senior centers."Outing Age" magazine documented some of this rampant discrimination: A resident of one home wasn't bathed because no one wanted "to touch the lesbian." A social worker at another reported, "We don't allow partners of the same sex into the home. (It's) part of the admission requirement."Here are other injustices gay elderly people are suffering: Social Security. The surviving gay partner of a retiree receives no Social Security survivor benefits. That contrasts with the more than $5,000 per year that widows and widowers draw, on average, in survivor benefits. Medicaid. When a gay elder needs Medicaid-financed nursing home care, his or her partner can lose a jointly owned home because gay couples aren't covered by rules protecting the assets of nursing home residents' spouses.Medical Treatment and Hospital Visitation: Absent a written directive, doctors generally defer to a patient's spouse regarding medical treatment, and the spouse is allowed to visit a patient in preference to all others. There are many rights for the spouse as automatic next of kin, including priority in making medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse. Gay and lesbian partners are treated as legal strangers, often having to fight through the court to see their partner in the hospital and unnecessary stress.Employee Benefits for Families: The right to take sick leave to care for a spouse or child is an employer-provided benefit, along with a host of other employer-provided benefits like bereavement leave (paid or unpaid), access to health insurance, and pension. Often times, same-sex couples must pay the penalty of risking time off from work, or worse, losing their job for family sick leave.Economic Certainty: With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit to file joint tax returns (and pay marriage penalty), and obtain joint health, home & auto insurance policies. Not so with same-sex couples.Tax Benefits: Married couples are entitled to many income and estate tax benefits, such as joint filing of income taxes, the ability to inherit property from one's spouse free from certain estate taxes, and the ability to transfer property between spouses without gift tax or transfer tax consequences. Same-sex couples are not entitled to any tax benefits.Inheritance: The law provides certain automatic rights to a person's spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists. Same-sex couples do not enjoy this advantage.Paying for your Medical BillsImportant note: Medicaid is not the answer! Especially for same sex couples under the current laws. For all practical purposes, in the U.S. the only "insurance" plan for long-term institutional care is Medicaid. Lacking access to alternatives such as private insurance or Medicare, most people pay out of their own pockets for long-term care until they become eligible for Medicaid. Although their names are confusing, Medicaid and Medicare are quite different programs. For one thing, all retirees who receive Social Security benefits also receive Medicare as their health insurance. Medicare is an "entitlement" program. Medicaid, however, is a form of welfare. Eligibility for Medicaid: you must become "impoverished" under the program's guidelines.The Medicaid law provides special protections for the spouse of a nursing home resident to make sure he or she has minimum support needed to continue to live in the community. The so-called "spousal protections" work this way: if the Medicaid applicant is married, the countable assets of both the community spouse and the institutionalized spouse are totaled as of the date of "institutionalization," the day on which the ill spouse enters either a hospital or a long-term care facility in which he or she then stays for at least 30 days.Careful planning, whether in advance or in response to an unanticipated need for care, can help protect your estate, whether for your spouse or for your children. This can be done by purchasing long-term care insurance or by making sure you receive the benefits to which you are entitled under the Medicare and Medicaid programs. Veterans may also seek benefits from the Veterans Administration.Medicare Part A covers up to 100 days of "skilled nursing" care per spell of illness. However, the definition of "skilled nursing" and the other conditions for obtaining this coverage are quite stringent, meaning that few nursing home residents receive the full 100 days of coverage. As a result, Medicare pays for only about 9 percent of nursing home care in the U.S.IRAs & Retirement Plans: Married couples enjoy spousal continuation of IRA's and Retirement plans. After one of the spouses dies, pension payout continues after death. Spousal approval is needed to change beneficiaries. Not so with unmarried couples and often times beneficiaries are disputed. Pension plans are not required by law to pay out to surviving partners the same way as spouses. FINANCIAL ISSUESFinancial issues are complex and challenging, no matter the couple. And when children, home ownership and other assets are a part of the equation, planning for the present and especially the future is even more critical for greater security. When a same-sex couple begins to plan, the inability to enter into a civil marriage has many implications.Gifts: Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other. Same-sex couples are restricted in giving; a partner is not permitted to give more than the annual exclusion of $11,000 per year (as of 2002, indexed to increase over time) per donee, otherwise, gift tax issues arise. When people start a life together, they want to share assets, married couples can share everything; same-sex couples are restricted in how much they are able to share because restrictions on gift giving.Unlimited Marital Deduction: A married couple can use the unlimited marital deduction to avoid estate taxes on the first spouse's death. Same-sex couples do not have access to the unlimited marital deduction. This makes estate planning harder and more costly.Estate tax forms have presumptions that are a hard burden to overcome: The IRS presumes that the deceased partner owned the property and placed the property into joint names in order to avoid probate. The tax consequence is that the joint property is 100% includible in the deceased partner's estate, thereby increasing the amount subject to estate tax. In order to overcome the presumption, same-sex couples are required to document their contribution to property that is held jointly from inception. Married couples do not have this burden.Retirement Planning: Some retirement plans restrict beneficiary designations to a spouse. The person participating in the plan will be able to benefit from the pension plan for life, but when s/he dies, the surviving partner will suffer a reduction in household income. Then what?Marital home: The law presumes that a married couple with both of their names on the title to their home (without any further designation) owns the property as "tenants by the entirety."Creditor protection: A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection regarding their marital home. Same-sex couples do not have the same protection.No access to the new tax credit for IRAs: Married couples pay less for IRA contributions than same-sex couples. Taxpayers who contribute to an IRA or make elective pension deferrals could be eligible for a nonrefundable federal tax credit.New estate tax laws give spouses an additional $3 Million tax break: In the year 2010, married couples will be permitted a $3 Million "additional spousal property carryover basis" for property owned by a spouse at the time of death that transfers to the surviving spouse. Same-sex couples will be restricted to a carryover basis amount of $1.3 Million for transfers to the surviving partner, thereby triggering additional tax consequences on property that has appreciated over time. Marriageequality.org What Would You Do?Without legal marriage rights, couples face challenges that are overwhelming. * If you were unable to visit your spouse in the hospital * Knowing your child's doctor bills may not be covered * Unable to share social security in your later years * Spending thousands of extra dollars because you cannot claim joint deductions * The possibility of losing your home if something tragic happened to your spouse * Not having legal guardianship over the children you've helped raise for years * Even after 20 years together, your spouse is called your "friend" at parties and family gatherings * Even after 30 years together, you have to check "single" as your marital status on every single form you complete * These are just a fraction of the challenges faced daily by same-sex couplesWhy Society Should Allow Same-Sex Couples to Marry * If society cares about all its children, gay and lesbian couples should be allowed to protect them in a way that ONLY civil marriage allows. * September 11th proved that the inability to enter into a civil marriage can cause greater grief in a time of tragedy. More than one year later, grieving partners are still battling for property and insurance claims just because they could not marry. * The marriage of two adults of the same sex who seek to make a lifetime commitment to one another takes nothing away from the marriages of anyone else. * Legal marriage strengthens commitment is what makes a marriage * Supported couples make better contributions to society * The movement for marriage equality of same-sex couples is actually a recognition of the importance and power of marriage * Because it is fair: Requiring equality condones equality. Remember, you don't have to be gay to support a same-sex couple's right to marriage equality
- ENDA: The House is forecasted to soon consider the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, which would prohibit workplace discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender identity.A 2007 meta-analysis by the Williams Institute of 50 studies of job discrimination against LGBT people found regular evidence of bias in the workplace. LGBT people reported various discriminatory behaviors, including overt discrimination (up to 68 percent in the surveys), firing or denial of employment (up to 17 percent), denial of promotion or negative performance evaluation (up to 28 percent) and even verbal or physical violence (up to 41 percent).For transgender workers specifically, widespread bias makes their quest for jobs even more bleak. Preliminary data from a forthcoming, groundbreaking survey on discrimination against transgender people in the U.S. from the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the National Center for Transgender Equality shows that discrimination in employment is a nearly universal experience. Ninety-seven percent of our sample (approximately 6,500 transgender people) report being mistreated or harassed at work. Almost half (47 percent) lost their jobs, were denied a promotion or denied a job as a direct result of being a transgender individual. By a vote of 234-194, the House of Representatives approved the repeal on May 28, moving a step closer to ending the 17-year-old policy and allowing gay and lesbian members of the military to serve openly. The repeal request was attached to a defense bill that now moves to the Senate, which will take it up for debate and a vote some time this summer. It needs 60 out of 100 votes to pass and faces considerable opposition from Republicans and some conservative Democrats. If passed, the repeal would not take effect until next year so that the Pentagon would have the rest of 2010 to study and review its potential ramifications.Since the advent of "don't ask, don't tell'' in 1993, LGB people can serve in the armed forces, but only if they keep their sexuality a secret. At that time the policy was designed to be a compromise between President Bill Clinton and military leaders, who said allowing gays to serve openly would compromise unit cohesiveness and military readiness. Repealing the policy has been a major objective of gay-rights groups and President Obama, who promised to end it if elected.THE GOLDEN YEARSNo matter how many years together, a gay or lesbian elderly couple faces special challenges, above and beyond and opposite-sex elderly couple. Often times, when both partners reach the age in which nursing home care is necessary, relatives have the final say, separating the couple by putting them in different elderly care facilities.This tragedy brings to light the special vulnerability of older gay Americans. At the age when they are least able to protect themselves, gay retirees are cruelly victimized by discriminatory attitudes, regulations and laws. Moreover, older gay people, fearing neglect or outright abuse at the hands of hostile nursing home personnel, often find themselves retreating into the closet after living openly for much of their lives. In fact, a 1994 New York state survey found that gay elders were not welcome at 46 percent of senior centers."Outing Age" magazine documented some of this rampant discrimination: A resident of one home wasn't bathed because no one wanted "to touch the lesbian." A social worker at another reported, "We don't allow partners of the same sex into the home. (It's) part of the admission requirement."Here are other injustices gay elderly people are suffering: Social Security. The surviving gay partner of a retiree receives no Social Security survivor benefits. That contrasts with the more than $5,000 per year that widows and widowers draw, on average, in survivor benefits. Medicaid. When a gay elder needs Medicaid-financed nursing home care, his or her partner can lose a jointly owned home because gay couples aren't covered by rules protecting the assets of nursing home residents' spouses.Medical Treatment and Hospital Visitation: Absent a written directive, doctors generally defer to a patient's spouse regarding medical treatment, and the spouse is allowed to visit a patient in preference to all others. There are many rights for the spouse as automatic next of kin, including priority in making medical decisions in event of illness or disability of their spouse. Gay and lesbian partners are treated as legal strangers, often having to fight through the court to see their partner in the hospital and unnecessary stress.Employee Benefits for Families: The right to take sick leave to care for a spouse or child is an employer-provided benefit, along with a host of other employer-provided benefits like bereavement leave (paid or unpaid), access to health insurance, and pension. Often times, same-sex couples must pay the penalty of risking time off from work, or worse, losing their job for family sick leave.Economic Certainty: With marriage, a couple has the right to be treated as an economic unit to file joint tax returns (and pay marriage penalty), and obtain joint health, home & auto insurance policies. Not so with same-sex couples.Tax Benefits: Married couples are entitled to many income and estate tax benefits, such as joint filing of income taxes, the ability to inherit property from one's spouse free from certain estate taxes, and the ability to transfer property between spouses without gift tax or transfer tax consequences. Same-sex couples are not entitled to any tax benefits.Inheritance: The law provides certain automatic rights to a person's spouse regardless of whether or not a will exists. Same-sex couples do not enjoy this advantage.Paying for your Medical BillsImportant note: Medicaid is not the answer! Especially for same sex couples under the current laws. For all practical purposes, in the U.S. the only "insurance" plan for long-term institutional care is Medicaid. Lacking access to alternatives such as private insurance or Medicare, most people pay out of their own pockets for long-term care until they become eligible for Medicaid. Although their names are confusing, Medicaid and Medicare are quite different programs. For one thing, all retirees who receive Social Security benefits also receive Medicare as their health insurance. Medicare is an "entitlement" program. Medicaid, however, is a form of welfare. Eligibility for Medicaid: you must become "impoverished" under the program's guidelines.The Medicaid law provides special protections for the spouse of a nursing home resident to make sure he or she has minimum support needed to continue to live in the community. The so-called "spousal protections" work this way: if the Medicaid applicant is married, the countable assets of both the community spouse and the institutionalized spouse are totaled as of the date of "institutionalization," the day on which the ill spouse enters either a hospital or a long-term care facility in which he or she then stays for at least 30 days.Careful planning, whether in advance or in response to an unanticipated need for care, can help protect your estate, whether for your spouse or for your children. This can be done by purchasing long-term care insurance or by making sure you receive the benefits to which you are entitled under the Medicare and Medicaid programs. Veterans may also seek benefits from the Veterans Administration.Medicare Part A covers up to 100 days of "skilled nursing" care per spell of illness. However, the definition of "skilled nursing" and the other conditions for obtaining this coverage are quite stringent, meaning that few nursing home residents receive the full 100 days of coverage. As a result, Medicare pays for only about 9 percent of nursing home care in the U.S.IRAs & Retirement Plans: Married couples enjoy spousal continuation of IRA's and Retirement plans. After one of the spouses dies, pension payout continues after death. Spousal approval is needed to change beneficiaries. Not so with unmarried couples and often times beneficiaries are disputed. Pension plans are not required by law to pay out to surviving partners the same way as spouses. FINANCIAL ISSUESFinancial issues are complex and challenging, no matter the couple. And when children, home ownership and other assets are a part of the equation, planning for the present and especially the future is even more critical for greater security. When a same-sex couple begins to plan, the inability to enter into a civil marriage has many implications.Gifts: Married couples are permitted to give an unlimited amount of gifts to each other. Same-sex couples are restricted in giving; a partner is not permitted to give more than the annual exclusion of $11,000 per year (as of 2002, indexed to increase over time) per donee, otherwise, gift tax issues arise. When people start a life together, they want to share assets, married couples can share everything; same-sex couples are restricted in how much they are able to share because restrictions on gift giving.Unlimited Marital Deduction: A married couple can use the unlimited marital deduction to avoid estate taxes on the first spouse's death. Same-sex couples do not have access to the unlimited marital deduction. This makes estate planning harder and more costly.Estate tax forms have presumptions that are a hard burden to overcome: The IRS presumes that the deceased partner owned the property and placed the property into joint names in order to avoid probate. The tax consequence is that the joint property is 100% includible in the deceased partner's estate, thereby increasing the amount subject to estate tax. In order to overcome the presumption, same-sex couples are required to document their contribution to property that is held jointly from inception. Married couples do not have this burden.Retirement Planning: Some retirement plans restrict beneficiary designations to a spouse. The person participating in the plan will be able to benefit from the pension plan for life, but when s/he dies, the surviving partner will suffer a reduction in household income. Then what?Marital home: The law presumes that a married couple with both of their names on the title to their home (without any further designation) owns the property as "tenants by the entirety."Creditor protection: A married couple, by statute, has creditor protection regarding their marital home. Same-sex couples do not have the same protection.No access to the new tax credit for IRAs: Married couples pay less for IRA contributions than same-sex couples. Taxpayers who contribute to an IRA or make elective pension deferrals could be eligible for a nonrefundable federal tax credit.New estate tax laws give spouses an additional $3 Million tax break: In the year 2010, married couples will be permitted a $3 Million "additional spousal property carryover basis" for property owned by a spouse at the time of death that transfers to the surviving spouse. Same-sex couples will be restricted to a carryover basis amount of $1.3 Million for transfers to the surviving partner, thereby triggering additional tax consequences on property that has appreciated over time.