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Fighting Homophobia:

Supporting LGBT College
        Students
Purpose of Presentation
• To increase awareness of:
   – What sexuality is.
   – What sexual orientation is.
   – What homosexuality is.
   – What sexual fluidity is.
   – What same-sex relationships are like.
   – What homophobia is.
   – What heterosexual privilege is.

• To increase awareness of the impact that anti-gay harassment and
  homophobia have on students.
• To create a safe space for people to ask questions about LGBT
  issues.
• To discuss how faculty can be better allies for LGBT people in
  schools and colleges.
Sexuality
• Sexual orientation is one of four
  easily distinguishable components of
  sexuality; the other three are:

   – Biological sex (the anatomical,
     physiological, and genetic
     characteristics associated with
     being male or female).
   – Gender identity (the psychological
     sense of being male or female).
   – Social gender role (adherence to
     cultural norms for feminine and
     masculine behavior).
Each Component of Sexuality Exists
     Independently as a Continuum:

                       BIOLOGICAL SEX
male                         intersex                   female

                      GENDER IDENTITY
man                        two-spirited                woman
                     SOCIAL GENDER ROLE
                         (gender expression)

masculine                 androgynous                 feminine

                     SEXUAL ORIENTATION
attracted to women      bisexual/asexual       attracted to men
What is Sexual Orientation?

• According to the American Psychological Association, sexual
  orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction
  that one feels toward men, women, or both sexes.

    – Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity
      based on these attractions, related behaviors, and
      participation in a community of others who share these
      attractions.
    – These patterns of attraction often arise without any prior
      sexual experience. People can be celibate and still know their
      sexual orientation.
• Although sexual orientation ranges along a continuum, from
  exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the
  same sex, three sexual orientations are commonly discussed:

    – Homosexuality is sexual and emotional attraction to people
      of the same sex.
    – Heterosexuality is sexual and … of the opposite sex.
    – Bisexuality is sexual and … of both sexes.
• Kinsey developed a 7-point scale of heterosexual and homosexual
  experience.


     Rating   Description
        0     Exclusively heterosexual
        1     Mostly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual
        2     Mostly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual
        3     Equally heterosexual and homosexual
        4     Mostly homosexual, more than incidentally heterosexual
        5     Mostly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual
        6     Exclusively homosexual
        X     Asexual; Non-sexual
What is Sexual Fluidity?
• While the majority of people
  experience a stable sexual               “Males [people] do not
  orientation throughout their life, for   represent two discrete
  others sexual orientation may be         populations, heterosexual
  fluid and change over time.              and homosexual. The world
  Perhaps the degree of sexual             is not to be divided into sheep
  fluidity among people also ranges        and goats. Not all things are
  along a continuum.                       black nor all things white. It is
                                           a fundamental of taxonomy
                                           that nature rarely deals with
• In any case, most people                 discrete categories…The
  experience little or no sense of         living world is a continuum in
  choice about their sexual                each and every one of its
  orientation. Sexual orientation          aspects.”      – Alfred Kinsey
  cannot be changed at will.
• Sexual orientation is not
  synonymous with sexual behavior
  because orientation also includes
  feelings and self-concept.

• Prejudice and discrimination
  make it difficult for many people
  to come to terms with their sexual
  orientation identities, so claiming
  a lesbian, gay, or bisexual identity
  may be a slow process.
  Therefore, individuals may or may
  not express their sexual
  orientation in their behaviors.
Situations Where Sexual Behavior
                ≠ Sexual Orientation


• Jenny feels "different" growing up –
  she’s more interested in women
  than men. But her family is fiercely
  anti-gay, so she later finds a
  boyfriend, marries, has two kids
  and a house in the suburbs – until
  she meets a nurse named Shelia
  and finds herself deeply in love.
  Jenny suddenly remembers feeling
  “different” as a child...
.....Jenny realizes that she never
loved her husband like she loves
Shelia. In fact, she never felt for any
man what she feels for this woman.
She knows in her heart of hearts
that she is not bisexual – that she is
a lesbian. She realizes that she's
always been a lesbian but has lived
in denial up until now. Does that
mean that she was straight when
she was married and she "turned
into" a lesbian?
• John and Marilyn, both heterosexuals,
  decide to indulge in a fantasy in which
  he watches her have sex with another
  woman and then both women have sex
  with him. Does that mean that Marilyn is
  now a bisexual simply because she had
  sex with another woman one time?

• Jack is in prison. While serving out his
  20 year sentence, he has sex with
  several different men, but when he gets
  out, he never has sex with another man
  again. Does this mean he was gay while
  in prison and straight before and after
  his incarceration?
• Frank goes to a bar and has
  an argument with his
  boyfriend, Gene. Gene
  leaves and Frank is there
  alone. He keeps drinking
  until he's really drunk. A
  woman named Gail comes
  into the bar. Gail's lonely
  and Frank's drunk, so they
  end up going home together
  and having sex. Does that
  mean he's now bisexual
  since he had sex with Gail?
Other Problems with Definitions Based
           Solely on Sexual Behavior

• Barring rape and molestation, we always have a choice with respect
  to sexual behavior. Therefore, sexual orientation defined by sexual
  behavior carries with it the subtle implication that orientation itself is
  a choice. Seeing "sexual orientation" and "being gay" as
  synonymous, many people "logically" conclude that being gay is a
  choice. However, nobody chooses with whom they fall in love, so
  nobody chooses their sexual orientation either.

• Definitions based on sexual behavior debase the true nature of
  every committed relationship, especially gay ones. A committed
  relationship – whether straight or gay – is not simply a sexual
  relationship. In the context of a committed relationship, sex is one of
  many forms of expression of the love between the two individuals.
• Perhaps a better way to
  define sexual orientation is     Heterosexual
  by whom one “falls in
  love” with – that is, whom     • able to fall in love with someone only of
                                   the opposite sex
  one has enduring, romantic
  relationships with.
                                   Homosexual (gay or lesbian)
• Helen Fisher of Rutgers
  University has proposed 3      • able to fall in love with someone only of
                                   the same sex.
  stages of falling in love –
  lust, attraction, and
  attachment – each driven         Bisexual
  by different hormones and
  chemicals.                     • able to fall in love with either men or
                                   women.
“It seems to me that the real
clue to your sex orientation
lies in your romantic feelings
rather than in your sexual
feelings. If you are really
Gay, you are able to fall in
love with a man, not just
enjoy having sex with him.”

 –   Christopher Isherwood, quoted in
     "Christopher Isherwood Interview" with
     Winston Leyland (1973), from
     Conversations with Christopher Isherwood,
     ed. James J. Berg and Chris Freeman
     (2001).
Why The Total Number Of Gay People
             Can't Be Counted

• Different studies define GLB people
  in different ways and researchers
  have yet to agree on a common
  definition. Is being gay a behavior?
  Does an attraction make one gay?
  Or, is being gay an identity?

• Only those willing to identify can be
  counted. Not all GLB people identify
  as such (see first bullet) and not all
  GLB persons are willing to admit
  their sexual identity, attraction, or
  behavior to others, even
  anonymously.
• For example, in a randomized
  sample (N=35,595) of the 21-
                                       Characteristic    Number   %
  year-old men who were inducted
  into the Thai army in May 2011,     Sexual behavior:
  most defined themselves as
  heterosexual, even if they mainly   Exclusive MSF       29688   92.9
  have sex with men.                  Bisexual             1930    6.0
                                      Exclusive MSM         339    1.1
   – It was conducted no more
     than two weeks after             Sexual desire:
     induction and therefore          Sex with women
     serving in the army had no                           35041   98.6
                                      only
     influence on the results.        Sex with both
   – Men from all provinces in        men and women
                                                            318    0.9
     Thailand were included and
                                      Sex with men
     from both urban and rural                              180    0.5
                                      only
     areas.
Bisexual and
• Among all bisexual and          exclusive MSM      Number       %
  exclusive MSM, 83%                 (N=2271)
  identified as heterosexual,     Education:
  i.e. desiring women only.       > 10 yrs              1470      93.4
  Even in exclusive MSM, only
  21% said they desired men       Graduate               104       6.6
  exclusively and 31% both        Sexual role for sex with men:
  men and women, meaning
                                  Top/Versatile         1192      95.1
  that nearly half (48%) of men
  who had in fact only ever       Bottom                   62      4.9
  had male sexual partners        Sex in exchange for money:
  said they actually preferred
  women.                          No                    1527      69.2
                                  Ever                   680      30.8
• The culturally-accepted way of being an MSM in Thailand, at least
  outside the urban gay scenes, has tended to be to become a Katoey
  (“ladyboy” or transgender). “Out” Kaoteys would likely be exempted
  from military service, until 2011 because they had a “mental
  disorder”, now changed to “gender identity disorder”. So this survey
  would tend to under-represent certain self-identified MSM.

• This study shows the difference between surveying a self-selecting
  gay/MSM population – the Bangkok surveys have been conducted
  in gay clubs, STI clinics, and cruising areas – and looking at a truly
  random sample of Thai men to investigate sexuality.
Just the Facts
• Gay sex does not equal anal sex.
   – In a survey published in April 2012 of 14,750 MSM ages 18 to 87, of whom
     85.3% identified as homosexual, about 75 percent reported kissing, giving oral
     sex, and/or receiving oral sex in their most recent sexual encounters. Only 36
     percent reported receiving anal sex and 34 percent reported giving it.

• Homosexual men are not more likely to sexually abuse children than
  heterosexual men are.

• No legitimate research has demonstrated that same-sex couples are
  any more or any less harmful to children than heterosexual couples.

• Homosexual orientation or identity is not caused by childhood
  sexual abuse or deficient sex-role modeling by parents.

• LGBT people live just as long as heterosexuals do.
• Gay men were victims of – not collaborators in – the Nazi Holocaust.

• All major professional mental health organizations are on record as
  stating that homosexuality is not a mental disorder.
    – Higher rates of anxiety, depression, and depression-related illnesses and
      behaviors among LGBT people are due to the stress of being a member of a
      minority group in an often-hostile society ‒ and not LGBT identity itself.

• Sexual orientation is not chosen, nor can it be changed at will.
    – A 2008 Swedish study of twins (the world's largest twin study), which appeared in
      The Archives of Sexual Behavior, concluded that "[h]omosexual behaviour is
      largely shaped by genetics and random environmental factors.“
    – "Reparative" or sexual reorientation therapy has been rejected by all the
      established and reputable American medical, psychological, psychiatric, and
      professional counseling organizations.
What is Prejudice?
• Prejudice is a negative attitude or feeling toward people
  based on a misleading generalization about a group to
  which they belong. (Gordon Allport, 1954)

• Prejudices are built into our social institutions, such as
  religion, government, electoral politics, education, and the
  media.

• We are conditioned by messages from these institutions
  about how to see each other, how to relate to one another,
  and how to see ourselves – based on race, sex, ethnic or
  religious culture, disability, and sexual orientation.
What is Homophobia?
• Homophobia (or sexual prejudice), in general, is a negative attitude
  or feeling based on a misleading generalized belief about
  lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Allport (1954) defined five ways
  that prejudice can be expressed or acted upon:

   –   Antilocution (name calling, stereotyping)
   –   Avoidance (defamation by omission, exclusion)
   –   Discrimination (refusal of service, denial of opportunity)
   –   Physical Attack (threat of physical violence, murder)
   –   Extermination (mass assassination, genocide)

• We often overlook the more subtle actions and exclusions of sexual
  prejudice because they seem so insignificant by comparison. They
  are not.
Examples of Sexual Prejudice
Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches.


• Looking at an LGBT person and automatically thinking of her/his
  sexuality or gender rather than seeing her/him as a whole, complex
  person.

• Failing to be supportive when your LGBT friend is sad about a
  quarrel or breakup.

• Changing your seat in a meeting because an LGBT person sat in
  the chair next to yours.

• Thinking you can “spot one.”

• Being afraid to ask questions about LGBT issues when you don't
  know the answers.
Examples of Sexual Prejudice
Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches.


•   Not asking about a woman's female lover
    or a man's male lover although you
    regularly ask "How is your husband/wife?"
    when you run into a heterosexual friend.

•   Thinking that a lesbian (if you are female)
    or gay man (if you are male) is making
    sexual advances if she/he touches you.

•   Feeling repulsed by public displays of
    affection between lesbians and gay men
    but accepting the same affectional
    displays between heterosexuals.

•   Using the terms “lesbian” or “gay” as
    accusatory.
Examples of Sexual Prejudice
Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches.


• Feeling that discussions about homophobia are not necessary since
  you are "okay" on these issues.

• Assuming that everyone you meet is heterosexual, and if not, they
  should be (also known as heterosexism).

• Feeling that a lesbian is just a woman who couldn't find a man or
  that a lesbian is a woman who wants to be a man.

• Feeling that a gay man is just a man who couldn't find a woman or
  that a gay man is a man who wants to be a woman.

• Not confronting a homophobic remark for fear of being identified with
  or as LGBT.
Examples of Sexual Prejudice
Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches.


• Worrying about the effect an
  LGBT volunteer or coworker will
  have on your work or your clients.

• Asking your LGBT colleagues to
  speak about LGBT issues, but not
  about other issues about which
  they may be knowledgeable.

• Focusing exclusively on
  someone's sexual orientation and
  not on other issues of concern.

• Feeling that LGBT people are too
  outspoken about civil rights.
How Sexual Prejudice Hurts Everyone



                   • You do not have to be
                     LGBT – or know
                     someone who is – to be
                     negatively affected by
                     sexual prejudice.
                     Although it actively
                     oppresses LGBT
                     people, it also hurts
                     heterosexuals.
Sexual Prejudice:

• Compromises human
  integrity by pressuring
  people to treat others
  badly, actions that are
  contrary to their basic
  humanity.

• Inhibits the ability of
  heterosexuals to form
  close, intimate
  relationships with
  members of their own
  sex, for fear of being
  perceived as LGBT.
Sexual Prejudice:

• Is often used to stigmatize heterosexuals,
  those perceived or labeled by others to be
  LGBT, children of LGBT parents, parents
  of LGBT children, and friends of LGBTs.
  This makes it hard for straight people and
  LGBT people to be friends.

• Is one cause of premature sexual
  involvement, which increases the
  chances of teen pregnancy and the
  spread of sexually transmitted diseases.
  Young people, of all sexual identities, are
  often pressured to become heterosexually
  active to prove to themselves and others
  that they are "normal.”
Sexual Prejudice:

• Prevents some LGBT people from
  developing an authentic self identity
  and adds to the pressure to marry,
  which in turn places undue stress and
  often times trauma on themselves as
  well as their heterosexual spouses,
  and their children.

• Combined with sex-phobia, results in
  the invisibility or erasure of LGBT lives
  and sexuality in school-based sex
  education discussions, keeping vital
  information from students. Such
  erasures can kill people in the age of
  AIDS.
Sexual Prejudice:

• Locks people into rigid gender-
  based roles that inhibit
  creativity and self expression.

• Inhibits appreciation of other
  types of diversity, making it
  unsafe for everyone because
  each person has unique traits
  not considered mainstream or
  dominant. When any one of us
  is demeaned, we are all
  diminished.
What is Heterosexual Privilege?
• Heterosexual privilege is
  the range of perks and
  incentives with which
  heterosexually identified
  persons are rewarded for
  conforming to the
  dominant sexuality.
  Coming to terms with
  privilege can be the most
  painful part of becoming
  an ally.
Examples of Heterosexual Privilege
  If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual):


• You can discuss your relationships and publicly acknowledge your
  partner (such as by having a picture of her/him on your desk)
  without fearing that people will automatically disapprove or think that
  you are being "blatant."

• You do not have to worry about being mistreated by the police or
  victimized by the criminal justice system because of your orientation.

• You can express affection (kissing, hugging, and holding hands) in
  most social situations and not expect hostile or violent reactions
  from others.

• You are more likely to see sexually-explicit images of people of your
  orientation without these images provoking public consternation or
  censorship.
Examples of Heterosexual Privilege
  If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual):


• You can go wherever you want and know that you will not be
  harassed, beaten, or killed because of your orientation.

• You can legally marry the person whom you love and you can
  receive tax breaks, health and insurance coverage, and spousal
  legal rights through being in a long-term relationship.

• You can express yourself sexually without the fear of being
  prosecuted for breaking the law (sodomy laws were enforceable in
  16 states and were used to deny civil rights to lesbians, gay men,
  and bisexuals until 2003).

• You can expect to see people of your orientation positively
  presented on nearly every television show and in nearly every
  movie.
Examples of Heterosexual Privilege
  If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual):


• You can expect that your children will be given texts in school that
  implicitly support your kind of family unit and that they will not be
  taught that your orientation is a "perversion."

• You can approach the legal system, social service organizations,
  and government agencies without fearing discrimination because of
  your orientation.

• You can raise, adopt, and teach children without people believing
  that you will molest them or force them in to your orientation.
  Moreover, people generally will not try to take away your children
  because of your orientation.

• You can belong to the religious denomination of your choice and
  know that your orientation will not be denounced by its religious
  leaders.
Examples of Heterosexual Privilege
  If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual):


• You can easily find a neighborhood
  in which residents will accept how
  you have constituted your
  household.

• You know that you will not be fired
  from a job or denied a promotion
  because of your orientation.

• You can join the military and be
  open about your orientation.

• You can work in traditionally male-
  or female-dominated occupations
  without it being considered "natural"
  for someone of your orientation.
Examples of Heterosexual Privilege
  If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual):


• You can expect to be around others of your orientation most of the
  time. You do not have to worry about being the only one of your
  orientation in a class, on a job, or in a social situation.

• If you were to commit a sexual crime (such as rape or incest), it
  would not be viewed as a direct result of your orientation.

• You can teach about lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals without
  being seen as having a bias because of your orientation or forcing a
  "homosexual agenda" on students.

• You can act, dress, and talk as you choose without it being
  considered a reflection on people of your orientation.
How to Support LGBT Students
                              (from PFLAG)


• Don't be surprised when someone comes out to you.

• Respect confidentiality. It is imperative that you can be trusted.

• Be informed. Most of us are products of a homophobic society. It is
  important that you are aware of the needs of LGBT students.

• Examine your own biases. If you are uncomfortable with dealing with
  the issue, and know that you are unable to be open and accepting,
  you need to refer the student to someone else.

• Know when and where to seek help. Know all available resources.

• Don't try to guess who's LGBT.
• Maintain a balanced perspective. Sexual thoughts and feelings are
  only a small (but important) part of a person's self.

• Understand the meaning of "sexual orientation" and "gender
  identity." Each person's sexual orientation is natural to that person.

• Deal with feelings first. You can be helpful by just listening and
  allowing LGBT students the opportunity to vent feelings.

• Help, but don't force. LGBT people need to move at the pace they
  feel most comfortable with.

• Challenge bigoted remarks and jokes. This shows support.
• Be supportive. Share
  with them that this is an
  issue that others must
  deal with, too.

• Make sure a copy of
  Working with Lesbian,
  Gay, Bisexual, and
  Transgender College
  Students: A Handbook
  for Faculty and
  Administrators (Sanlo,
  1998) is available for
  reference in your
  workplace.
Resources
•   Challenging Homophobia: An educators resource. (www.challenginghomophobia.net)
•   American Psychological Association: Sexual orientation and homosexuality.
    (www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx)
•   Assault on Gay America: The life and death of Billy Jack Gaither.
    (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/)
•   Definitions: Homophobia, heterosexism, and sexual prejudice.
    (http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/prej_defn.html)
•   Queer Peer Services (www.ramapo.edu/students/qps/index.html)
•   Gordon Allport, The Nature of Prejudice (1954).
•   Ronni L. Sanlo, Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender College
    Students: A Handbook for Faculty and Administrators (Greenwood Press, 1998).
•   Joe Kort, “Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men (SMSM)”, glbtq: An Encyclopedia of
    Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Culture, www.glbtq.com/social-
    sciences/straight_men_who.html (2008), accessed 2 March 2010.
•   Ian Ayres and Jennifer Brown, Straightforward: How to Mobilize Heterosexual
    Support for Gay Rights, (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005)

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Fighting Homophobia

  • 2. Purpose of Presentation • To increase awareness of: – What sexuality is. – What sexual orientation is. – What homosexuality is. – What sexual fluidity is. – What same-sex relationships are like. – What homophobia is. – What heterosexual privilege is. • To increase awareness of the impact that anti-gay harassment and homophobia have on students. • To create a safe space for people to ask questions about LGBT issues. • To discuss how faculty can be better allies for LGBT people in schools and colleges.
  • 3. Sexuality • Sexual orientation is one of four easily distinguishable components of sexuality; the other three are: – Biological sex (the anatomical, physiological, and genetic characteristics associated with being male or female). – Gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female). – Social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behavior).
  • 4. Each Component of Sexuality Exists Independently as a Continuum: BIOLOGICAL SEX male intersex female GENDER IDENTITY man two-spirited woman SOCIAL GENDER ROLE (gender expression) masculine androgynous feminine SEXUAL ORIENTATION attracted to women bisexual/asexual attracted to men
  • 5. What is Sexual Orientation? • According to the American Psychological Association, sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction that one feels toward men, women, or both sexes. – Sexual orientation also refers to a person’s sense of identity based on these attractions, related behaviors, and participation in a community of others who share these attractions. – These patterns of attraction often arise without any prior sexual experience. People can be celibate and still know their sexual orientation.
  • 6. • Although sexual orientation ranges along a continuum, from exclusive attraction to the other sex to exclusive attraction to the same sex, three sexual orientations are commonly discussed: – Homosexuality is sexual and emotional attraction to people of the same sex. – Heterosexuality is sexual and … of the opposite sex. – Bisexuality is sexual and … of both sexes.
  • 7. • Kinsey developed a 7-point scale of heterosexual and homosexual experience. Rating Description 0 Exclusively heterosexual 1 Mostly heterosexual, only incidentally homosexual 2 Mostly heterosexual, more than incidentally homosexual 3 Equally heterosexual and homosexual 4 Mostly homosexual, more than incidentally heterosexual 5 Mostly homosexual, only incidentally heterosexual 6 Exclusively homosexual X Asexual; Non-sexual
  • 8. What is Sexual Fluidity? • While the majority of people experience a stable sexual “Males [people] do not orientation throughout their life, for represent two discrete others sexual orientation may be populations, heterosexual fluid and change over time. and homosexual. The world Perhaps the degree of sexual is not to be divided into sheep fluidity among people also ranges and goats. Not all things are along a continuum. black nor all things white. It is a fundamental of taxonomy that nature rarely deals with • In any case, most people discrete categories…The experience little or no sense of living world is a continuum in choice about their sexual each and every one of its orientation. Sexual orientation aspects.” – Alfred Kinsey cannot be changed at will.
  • 9. • Sexual orientation is not synonymous with sexual behavior because orientation also includes feelings and self-concept. • Prejudice and discrimination make it difficult for many people to come to terms with their sexual orientation identities, so claiming a lesbian, gay, or bisexual identity may be a slow process. Therefore, individuals may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviors.
  • 10. Situations Where Sexual Behavior ≠ Sexual Orientation • Jenny feels "different" growing up – she’s more interested in women than men. But her family is fiercely anti-gay, so she later finds a boyfriend, marries, has two kids and a house in the suburbs – until she meets a nurse named Shelia and finds herself deeply in love. Jenny suddenly remembers feeling “different” as a child...
  • 11. .....Jenny realizes that she never loved her husband like she loves Shelia. In fact, she never felt for any man what she feels for this woman. She knows in her heart of hearts that she is not bisexual – that she is a lesbian. She realizes that she's always been a lesbian but has lived in denial up until now. Does that mean that she was straight when she was married and she "turned into" a lesbian?
  • 12. • John and Marilyn, both heterosexuals, decide to indulge in a fantasy in which he watches her have sex with another woman and then both women have sex with him. Does that mean that Marilyn is now a bisexual simply because she had sex with another woman one time? • Jack is in prison. While serving out his 20 year sentence, he has sex with several different men, but when he gets out, he never has sex with another man again. Does this mean he was gay while in prison and straight before and after his incarceration?
  • 13. • Frank goes to a bar and has an argument with his boyfriend, Gene. Gene leaves and Frank is there alone. He keeps drinking until he's really drunk. A woman named Gail comes into the bar. Gail's lonely and Frank's drunk, so they end up going home together and having sex. Does that mean he's now bisexual since he had sex with Gail?
  • 14. Other Problems with Definitions Based Solely on Sexual Behavior • Barring rape and molestation, we always have a choice with respect to sexual behavior. Therefore, sexual orientation defined by sexual behavior carries with it the subtle implication that orientation itself is a choice. Seeing "sexual orientation" and "being gay" as synonymous, many people "logically" conclude that being gay is a choice. However, nobody chooses with whom they fall in love, so nobody chooses their sexual orientation either. • Definitions based on sexual behavior debase the true nature of every committed relationship, especially gay ones. A committed relationship – whether straight or gay – is not simply a sexual relationship. In the context of a committed relationship, sex is one of many forms of expression of the love between the two individuals.
  • 15. • Perhaps a better way to define sexual orientation is Heterosexual by whom one “falls in love” with – that is, whom • able to fall in love with someone only of the opposite sex one has enduring, romantic relationships with. Homosexual (gay or lesbian) • Helen Fisher of Rutgers University has proposed 3 • able to fall in love with someone only of the same sex. stages of falling in love – lust, attraction, and attachment – each driven Bisexual by different hormones and chemicals. • able to fall in love with either men or women.
  • 16. “It seems to me that the real clue to your sex orientation lies in your romantic feelings rather than in your sexual feelings. If you are really Gay, you are able to fall in love with a man, not just enjoy having sex with him.” – Christopher Isherwood, quoted in "Christopher Isherwood Interview" with Winston Leyland (1973), from Conversations with Christopher Isherwood, ed. James J. Berg and Chris Freeman (2001).
  • 17. Why The Total Number Of Gay People Can't Be Counted • Different studies define GLB people in different ways and researchers have yet to agree on a common definition. Is being gay a behavior? Does an attraction make one gay? Or, is being gay an identity? • Only those willing to identify can be counted. Not all GLB people identify as such (see first bullet) and not all GLB persons are willing to admit their sexual identity, attraction, or behavior to others, even anonymously.
  • 18. • For example, in a randomized sample (N=35,595) of the 21- Characteristic Number % year-old men who were inducted into the Thai army in May 2011, Sexual behavior: most defined themselves as heterosexual, even if they mainly Exclusive MSF 29688 92.9 have sex with men. Bisexual 1930 6.0 Exclusive MSM 339 1.1 – It was conducted no more than two weeks after Sexual desire: induction and therefore Sex with women serving in the army had no 35041 98.6 only influence on the results. Sex with both – Men from all provinces in men and women 318 0.9 Thailand were included and Sex with men from both urban and rural 180 0.5 only areas.
  • 19. Bisexual and • Among all bisexual and exclusive MSM Number % exclusive MSM, 83% (N=2271) identified as heterosexual, Education: i.e. desiring women only. > 10 yrs 1470 93.4 Even in exclusive MSM, only 21% said they desired men Graduate 104 6.6 exclusively and 31% both Sexual role for sex with men: men and women, meaning Top/Versatile 1192 95.1 that nearly half (48%) of men who had in fact only ever Bottom 62 4.9 had male sexual partners Sex in exchange for money: said they actually preferred women. No 1527 69.2 Ever 680 30.8
  • 20. • The culturally-accepted way of being an MSM in Thailand, at least outside the urban gay scenes, has tended to be to become a Katoey (“ladyboy” or transgender). “Out” Kaoteys would likely be exempted from military service, until 2011 because they had a “mental disorder”, now changed to “gender identity disorder”. So this survey would tend to under-represent certain self-identified MSM. • This study shows the difference between surveying a self-selecting gay/MSM population – the Bangkok surveys have been conducted in gay clubs, STI clinics, and cruising areas – and looking at a truly random sample of Thai men to investigate sexuality.
  • 21. Just the Facts • Gay sex does not equal anal sex. – In a survey published in April 2012 of 14,750 MSM ages 18 to 87, of whom 85.3% identified as homosexual, about 75 percent reported kissing, giving oral sex, and/or receiving oral sex in their most recent sexual encounters. Only 36 percent reported receiving anal sex and 34 percent reported giving it. • Homosexual men are not more likely to sexually abuse children than heterosexual men are. • No legitimate research has demonstrated that same-sex couples are any more or any less harmful to children than heterosexual couples. • Homosexual orientation or identity is not caused by childhood sexual abuse or deficient sex-role modeling by parents. • LGBT people live just as long as heterosexuals do.
  • 22. • Gay men were victims of – not collaborators in – the Nazi Holocaust. • All major professional mental health organizations are on record as stating that homosexuality is not a mental disorder. – Higher rates of anxiety, depression, and depression-related illnesses and behaviors among LGBT people are due to the stress of being a member of a minority group in an often-hostile society ‒ and not LGBT identity itself. • Sexual orientation is not chosen, nor can it be changed at will. – A 2008 Swedish study of twins (the world's largest twin study), which appeared in The Archives of Sexual Behavior, concluded that "[h]omosexual behaviour is largely shaped by genetics and random environmental factors.“ – "Reparative" or sexual reorientation therapy has been rejected by all the established and reputable American medical, psychological, psychiatric, and professional counseling organizations.
  • 23. What is Prejudice? • Prejudice is a negative attitude or feeling toward people based on a misleading generalization about a group to which they belong. (Gordon Allport, 1954) • Prejudices are built into our social institutions, such as religion, government, electoral politics, education, and the media. • We are conditioned by messages from these institutions about how to see each other, how to relate to one another, and how to see ourselves – based on race, sex, ethnic or religious culture, disability, and sexual orientation.
  • 24. What is Homophobia? • Homophobia (or sexual prejudice), in general, is a negative attitude or feeling based on a misleading generalized belief about lesbian, gay, and bisexual people. Allport (1954) defined five ways that prejudice can be expressed or acted upon: – Antilocution (name calling, stereotyping) – Avoidance (defamation by omission, exclusion) – Discrimination (refusal of service, denial of opportunity) – Physical Attack (threat of physical violence, murder) – Extermination (mass assassination, genocide) • We often overlook the more subtle actions and exclusions of sexual prejudice because they seem so insignificant by comparison. They are not.
  • 25. Examples of Sexual Prejudice Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches. • Looking at an LGBT person and automatically thinking of her/his sexuality or gender rather than seeing her/him as a whole, complex person. • Failing to be supportive when your LGBT friend is sad about a quarrel or breakup. • Changing your seat in a meeting because an LGBT person sat in the chair next to yours. • Thinking you can “spot one.” • Being afraid to ask questions about LGBT issues when you don't know the answers.
  • 26. Examples of Sexual Prejudice Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches. • Not asking about a woman's female lover or a man's male lover although you regularly ask "How is your husband/wife?" when you run into a heterosexual friend. • Thinking that a lesbian (if you are female) or gay man (if you are male) is making sexual advances if she/he touches you. • Feeling repulsed by public displays of affection between lesbians and gay men but accepting the same affectional displays between heterosexuals. • Using the terms “lesbian” or “gay” as accusatory.
  • 27. Examples of Sexual Prejudice Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches. • Feeling that discussions about homophobia are not necessary since you are "okay" on these issues. • Assuming that everyone you meet is heterosexual, and if not, they should be (also known as heterosexism). • Feeling that a lesbian is just a woman who couldn't find a man or that a lesbian is a woman who wants to be a man. • Feeling that a gay man is just a man who couldn't find a woman or that a gay man is a man who wants to be a woman. • Not confronting a homophobic remark for fear of being identified with or as LGBT.
  • 28. Examples of Sexual Prejudice Identify Allport’s level of prejudiced action that each example matches. • Worrying about the effect an LGBT volunteer or coworker will have on your work or your clients. • Asking your LGBT colleagues to speak about LGBT issues, but not about other issues about which they may be knowledgeable. • Focusing exclusively on someone's sexual orientation and not on other issues of concern. • Feeling that LGBT people are too outspoken about civil rights.
  • 29. How Sexual Prejudice Hurts Everyone • You do not have to be LGBT – or know someone who is – to be negatively affected by sexual prejudice. Although it actively oppresses LGBT people, it also hurts heterosexuals.
  • 30. Sexual Prejudice: • Compromises human integrity by pressuring people to treat others badly, actions that are contrary to their basic humanity. • Inhibits the ability of heterosexuals to form close, intimate relationships with members of their own sex, for fear of being perceived as LGBT.
  • 31. Sexual Prejudice: • Is often used to stigmatize heterosexuals, those perceived or labeled by others to be LGBT, children of LGBT parents, parents of LGBT children, and friends of LGBTs. This makes it hard for straight people and LGBT people to be friends. • Is one cause of premature sexual involvement, which increases the chances of teen pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Young people, of all sexual identities, are often pressured to become heterosexually active to prove to themselves and others that they are "normal.”
  • 32. Sexual Prejudice: • Prevents some LGBT people from developing an authentic self identity and adds to the pressure to marry, which in turn places undue stress and often times trauma on themselves as well as their heterosexual spouses, and their children. • Combined with sex-phobia, results in the invisibility or erasure of LGBT lives and sexuality in school-based sex education discussions, keeping vital information from students. Such erasures can kill people in the age of AIDS.
  • 33. Sexual Prejudice: • Locks people into rigid gender- based roles that inhibit creativity and self expression. • Inhibits appreciation of other types of diversity, making it unsafe for everyone because each person has unique traits not considered mainstream or dominant. When any one of us is demeaned, we are all diminished.
  • 34. What is Heterosexual Privilege? • Heterosexual privilege is the range of perks and incentives with which heterosexually identified persons are rewarded for conforming to the dominant sexuality. Coming to terms with privilege can be the most painful part of becoming an ally.
  • 35. Examples of Heterosexual Privilege If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual): • You can discuss your relationships and publicly acknowledge your partner (such as by having a picture of her/him on your desk) without fearing that people will automatically disapprove or think that you are being "blatant." • You do not have to worry about being mistreated by the police or victimized by the criminal justice system because of your orientation. • You can express affection (kissing, hugging, and holding hands) in most social situations and not expect hostile or violent reactions from others. • You are more likely to see sexually-explicit images of people of your orientation without these images provoking public consternation or censorship.
  • 36. Examples of Heterosexual Privilege If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual): • You can go wherever you want and know that you will not be harassed, beaten, or killed because of your orientation. • You can legally marry the person whom you love and you can receive tax breaks, health and insurance coverage, and spousal legal rights through being in a long-term relationship. • You can express yourself sexually without the fear of being prosecuted for breaking the law (sodomy laws were enforceable in 16 states and were used to deny civil rights to lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals until 2003). • You can expect to see people of your orientation positively presented on nearly every television show and in nearly every movie.
  • 37. Examples of Heterosexual Privilege If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual): • You can expect that your children will be given texts in school that implicitly support your kind of family unit and that they will not be taught that your orientation is a "perversion." • You can approach the legal system, social service organizations, and government agencies without fearing discrimination because of your orientation. • You can raise, adopt, and teach children without people believing that you will molest them or force them in to your orientation. Moreover, people generally will not try to take away your children because of your orientation. • You can belong to the religious denomination of your choice and know that your orientation will not be denounced by its religious leaders.
  • 38. Examples of Heterosexual Privilege If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual): • You can easily find a neighborhood in which residents will accept how you have constituted your household. • You know that you will not be fired from a job or denied a promotion because of your orientation. • You can join the military and be open about your orientation. • You can work in traditionally male- or female-dominated occupations without it being considered "natural" for someone of your orientation.
  • 39. Examples of Heterosexual Privilege If you are heterosexual (or even simply perceived as heterosexual): • You can expect to be around others of your orientation most of the time. You do not have to worry about being the only one of your orientation in a class, on a job, or in a social situation. • If you were to commit a sexual crime (such as rape or incest), it would not be viewed as a direct result of your orientation. • You can teach about lesbians, gay men, and bisexuals without being seen as having a bias because of your orientation or forcing a "homosexual agenda" on students. • You can act, dress, and talk as you choose without it being considered a reflection on people of your orientation.
  • 40. How to Support LGBT Students (from PFLAG) • Don't be surprised when someone comes out to you. • Respect confidentiality. It is imperative that you can be trusted. • Be informed. Most of us are products of a homophobic society. It is important that you are aware of the needs of LGBT students. • Examine your own biases. If you are uncomfortable with dealing with the issue, and know that you are unable to be open and accepting, you need to refer the student to someone else. • Know when and where to seek help. Know all available resources. • Don't try to guess who's LGBT.
  • 41. • Maintain a balanced perspective. Sexual thoughts and feelings are only a small (but important) part of a person's self. • Understand the meaning of "sexual orientation" and "gender identity." Each person's sexual orientation is natural to that person. • Deal with feelings first. You can be helpful by just listening and allowing LGBT students the opportunity to vent feelings. • Help, but don't force. LGBT people need to move at the pace they feel most comfortable with. • Challenge bigoted remarks and jokes. This shows support.
  • 42. • Be supportive. Share with them that this is an issue that others must deal with, too. • Make sure a copy of Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender College Students: A Handbook for Faculty and Administrators (Sanlo, 1998) is available for reference in your workplace.
  • 43. Resources • Challenging Homophobia: An educators resource. (www.challenginghomophobia.net) • American Psychological Association: Sexual orientation and homosexuality. (www.apa.org/helpcenter/sexual-orientation.aspx) • Assault on Gay America: The life and death of Billy Jack Gaither. (http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/assault/) • Definitions: Homophobia, heterosexism, and sexual prejudice. (http://psychology.ucdavis.edu/rainbow/html/prej_defn.html) • Queer Peer Services (www.ramapo.edu/students/qps/index.html) • Gordon Allport, The Nature of Prejudice (1954). • Ronni L. Sanlo, Working with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender College Students: A Handbook for Faculty and Administrators (Greenwood Press, 1998). • Joe Kort, “Straight Men Who Have Sex with Men (SMSM)”, glbtq: An Encyclopedia of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, Transgender, and Queer Culture, www.glbtq.com/social- sciences/straight_men_who.html (2008), accessed 2 March 2010. • Ian Ayres and Jennifer Brown, Straightforward: How to Mobilize Heterosexual Support for Gay Rights, (Princeton: Princeton University Press, 2005)

Notes de l'éditeur

  1. http://www.apa.org/topics/sexuality/sorientation.pdfhttp://www.apa.org/pi/lgbt/resources/just-the-facts.aspx#