Scientific insights on why long time partners don't feel the urge the ways they did when they just met.

1. Dr. Leanna Wolfe
November 18, 2013

6.  Adolescent Perspective on Romantic Love
◦ Valentines Day
 Contrast to Uganda
 Ideal Spouse is One’s Best Friend
◦ And a Soul Mate
◦ French and Italians
 More Deception and More Passion
 Americans seek a Quixotic Paradox
◦ Trust PLUS Enduring Erotic Excitement

7. Lust
Attraction phase Attachment phase

8.  Adultery is idealized as the highest form of
love among the aristocracy
 It is impossible for true love to exist amongst
people who are married to each other
 Any man in love with his wife is a man so dull
that no one else can love him – Montaigne
 Nothing is more impure that to love one’s
wife as if she were a mistress

9.  Difficult to Fix
◦ Hormonal Imbalance
◦ More common in Women
◦ Boredom
◦ 15% success rate for couples seeking treatment

10.  Separate Lives
◦ Generate More Mystery
 Date Nights
◦ Build up anticipation with texting; little notes
 Push the Envelope!
◦ Humans are Novelty Junkies
 Jack Morin’s, The Erotic Mind
 The Spouse-Sibling Dilemma
◦ Difficult to consider engaging the Mother of One’s
Children in Fantasy Role Play, BDSM & Anal Sex
 Serial Monogamy

11.  Cheating
◦ Always Secret
 Don’t Ask; Don’t Tell
◦ Presumption that there are secrets, but retain bond
 Monogamish
◦ Explorations with some disclosure
 Swinging
◦ Recreational Sex done as a couple
 Many variations
 Polyamory
◦ Full Disclosure
◦ Tribal Bonding with a variety of sources for excitement
and erotic release