1. Open just about any magazine or website dedicated to celebrity news, and you’ll
find at least one report that a couple is separating or in the middle of a divorce.
Quite often, they cite “irreconcilable differences” as the reason behind the split, but
this is a catch-all phrase that really doesn’t explain why they are breaking up. Most
couples face stress in their marriage as life changes their circumstances. How you
deal with this stress together is what either cements the relationship or leads to
irreconcilable differences in your own marriage. Elizabeth Ochoa, PhD, a marriage
counselor and chief psychologist at the Beth Israel Medical Center in New York
City listed these major stressors as the main reasons behind divorce in today’s
culture.
2. Remember the line “in sickness and in health” from your marriage vows?
When a spouse gets sick, it affects the future of the relationship. Iowa State
University found divorce rates 6 percent higher when the wife had a serious
illness such as cancer or heart disease. Interestingly, divorce rates did not
go up when men were sick. A serious illness in itself adds stress to a
marriage, but when you include the problems of debt and pain that come
with such a problem, it can be difficult to maintain a relationship.
Job changes are another stressor that causes couples to divorce. It’s not just
a job loss, but a promotion as well. Shifts in a couple’s financial situation
can lead to unhappiness and dissatisfaction. When you have new
responsibilities that take time away from your marriage, you forget to focus
on your relationship. Related to job changes, living apart is another stressor.
In 2013, RAND Corporation found that the risk of divorce among military
personnel was related to the length of time spent in a deployment. It’s not
just military personnel who live apart, but they do have a harder time
adjusting to life after returning to the United States.
3. Children are another stressor in a marriage. Even though couples dream of having a
family, some people aren’t prepared for new responsibilities. Good stress is still
stress, and the transition between having complete freedom without children to
taking care of a newborn can lead to a lack of communication. On the other end of
the spectrum, when couples do make it through to see their children graduate and
leave the nest, that too can lead to divorce. Empty nesters lose their connection and
grow apart once the children have moved out.
Work out your issues before they lead to a divorce. However, if it has reached a
point that you no longer can, find a lawyer to assist you through the process. To
learn more about a divorce attorney in La Quinta, visit this website
www.dunnelawdesert.com/divorce