This is a condensed slide deck from the second class in my section of Interpersonal Dynamics (aka Touchy Feely) at the Stanford Graduate School of Business in Winter Quarter 2017.

1. Interpersonal
Photo by Melissa Wiese [link]
Ed Batista
Class 2:
COMMUNICATION
Dynamics

2. First 2 hours here
• Announce T-groups
• Exercises with 3 partners
• Next steps
Last hour & tonight in T-group
Today’s agenda
Photo by Theresa Thompson [link]

3. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
A reminder…

4. Photo by U.S. Army [link]
I will…
Give you my best
Welcome input
End on time
What else would be helpful for you?
Working
agreements

5. Working
agreements
I ask you to…

6. Photo by Luz Adriana Villa [link]
Working
agreements
I ask you to…
Start on time

7. Working
I ask you to…
Challenge yourself
agreements
Photo by Daniel Oines [link]

8. Working
I ask you to…
Minimize
distractions
agreements
Photo by Robert S. Donovan [link]

9. Working
I ask you to…
Respect
confidentiality
agreements
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

10. Working
I ask you to…
Start on time
Challenge yourself
Minimize distractions
Respect confidentiality
Can we all commit to this?
agreements

11. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
Bradford & Huckabay
How can we improve feedback?
How can we minimize defensiveness?

12. The net
Me You
Your
response
My
behavior
My
intention

13. What I know
Me
My
intention
My
behavior

14. What I don’t
You
Your
response

15. What you know
You
Your
response
My
behavior

16. Me
What you don’t
My
intention

17. Use the model
To stay on your side of the Net…
Focus on observed behavior
Disclose your response
When you do [X], I feel [Y].

18. Language police
Photo by Zoetnet [link]

19. Language police
“I know this is over the Net, but…”

20. Language police
What that really means:
“This may make you defensive & I don’t care…”

21. Language police
Also, a quirk of English…
When we say, “I feel like…” or “I feel that…”
what follows is not an emotion
but an opinion or belief

22. Language police
“I feel like you’re disrepectful…”
Over the Net
Conjecture about their inner state
More likely to provoke defensiveness

23. Language police
“I feel disrepected…”
Not over the Net
Disclosure about my inner state
Less likely to provoke defensiveness

24. With your partner
Photo by Garry Knight [link]

25. With your partner
What does this metaphor mean to me?
When do people cross my Net?
When do I cross theirs?

26. Freeing & binding
Photo by Bernard Spragg [link]
effects

27. Freeing & binding
Habitual forms of response
Some increase autonomy & equality
Others constrain & create differentiation
effects

28. With your partner
What freeing & binding effects do I employ?
How do I help others feel autonomous?
How do I constrain them?

29. Connections
Photo by Hadley Paul Garland [link]

30. Connections
John Gottman
How do we connect with each other?
What happens when we fail to connect?

31. Connections
A bid can be a question, a gesture, a look,
a touch—any single expression that says,
“I want to feel connected to you.”
~John Gottman

32. Gottman &
gender

33. Gottman &
gender

34. Gottman &
gender

35. Culture &
communication

36. Culture &
Erin Meyer & Geert Hofstede
How do cultures communicate?
A manifestation of social identity
communication

37. An exercise
Photo by jm3 [link]

38. An exercise
With your group, stand behind a row of cones

39. An exercise
On each dimension of communication
locate yourself along the continuum
& pay attention to your partner

40. Communication
Low-Context
Precise, simple,
clear, repetitive
& overt messages.
style
High-Context
Complex, nuanced,
multi-layered, unspoken
& implied messages.

41. Evaluation style
Direct
Frank, blunt & candid.
Individuals may be
criticized in a group.
Indirect
Subtle & diplomatic.
Criticism is given
only in private.

42. Disagreement
style
Confrontational
Open debate is good
for the team & doesn’t
impact relationships.
Conflict-Averse
Open disagreement
disrupts the team
& hurts relationships.

43. Persuasive style
Practical
Start with opinions &
facts. Add concepts to
justify conclusions.
Conceptual
Start with underlying
principles. Add facts
to justify theories.

44. Source of trust
Task Accomplishment
Relationships begin &
end quickly, based on
practical needs.
Personal Relationships
Relationships evolve
over time, based on
personal networks

45. How are our styles similar?
How are our styles different?
How does this reflect our social identities?
How might any of this show up in our T-group?
Discuss with
your partner

46. Learning goals
Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]

47. Photo by Adam Kubalica [link]
Learning goals
Clarity for self & others
Escalation of commitment
Very important in this course
Be prepared for them to evolve

48. Learning goals
Your first name
1.
2.
3.
Go to a flipchart pad
Write LARGE & LEGIBLY

49. Walk around & see what others have written
Consider how your goals might continue to evolve
Learning goals

50. Next steps
Photo by Summer Skyes 11 [link]

51. Next steps
T-group until 5:50pm & tonight*
Week 2 Post-Group Assignment due Thurs @ Noon
Week 3 Readings & Class Notes on Canvas
Week 3 Pre-Class Assignment due Mon @ Noon
Next class Tues Jan 24, 3pm here

52. T-group times
Until 5:50pm & 7-10pm*
Group 1 (Don & Lela): M102
Group 2 (Tuquynh & Rich): M107
Group 3 (Mark & Sue): M110
& rooms

53. T-group tasks
Pick an evening time: 3-hour block, 6:30-10:30pm
Don’t forget to bring your learning goals
Agree on some group norms

54. Group norms
Photo by F Delventhal [link]

55. Group norms
Some I impose, some you will choose
The norms we discuss are explicit
But many norms go unstated
Make the implicit explicit

56. Norms I impose
Don’t continue T-group work outside of group
No alcohol in T-group, ever
First names in assignments
Baseline confidentiality

57. Norms you will
Wait for latecomers?
OK to eat in T-group?
OK to take notes in T-group?
Further confidentiality norms?
choose

58. Confidentiality
Photo by Vox Efx [link]

59. Confidentiality
There is no perfect set of norms
If you seek perfection, you’ll get stuck
But if you rush, you’ll miss someone’s anxiety
Bear in mind: Safety, trust, intimacy

60. Your Facilitators
They will not dictate your norms
They will have opinions, like any member

61. Off to T-group
Photo by Pic Basement [link]
Group 1 (Don & Lela): M102
Group 2 (Tuquynh & Rich): M107
Group 3 (Mark & Sue): M110

62. Dynamics
Interpersonal
For more:
www.edbatista.com/interpersonal-dynamics.html