High-Performance Communication, August 2014
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1) Feedback is essential for learning but can also be stressful. To create safety when giving feedback, criticize with skill and express more appreciation. The simplest feedback model is to disclose how a person's behavior made you feel without attacking their intentions. 2) There are increasing levels of difficulty and risk when communicating feelings. Providing feedback about how someone makes you feel personally is the hardest but most powerful for learning. Creating psychological safety, trust, and intimacy can help make feedback less threatening. 3) To minimize the risk of social threat when giving feedback, be mindful of the other person's status, minimize uncertainty, maximize their autonomy, build the relationship, and ensure fairness. Receiving feedback effectively requires cultivating awareness of
![High-performance
communication
Photo by Andres Rueda [link]
Ed Batista
August 4, 2014](https://image.slidesharecdn.com/ed-batista-high-performance-communication-2014-08-04-140804144557-phpapp01/85/High-Performance-Communication-August-2014-1-320.jpg)
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High-Performance Communication, August 2014
- 1. High-performance communication Photo by Andres Rueda [link] Ed Batista August 4, 2014
- 2. Photo:SethAnderson Who am I? Executive coach Instructor @ Stanford GSB www.edbatista.com HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees
- 3. Discussion #1 Today’s headline The simplest feedback model Feelings The net Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 4. The headline Feedback = essential for learning But also stressful So create safety By criticizing with skill & expressing more appreciation Photo by Garry Knight [link] Read More
- 5. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model Photo by Ed Yourdon [link]
- 6. The simplest When you do [X], I feel [Y]. feedback model
- 7. Feelings Disclosing feelings = vulnerable But feelings influence And vulnerability closeness Comfort with discomfort Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
- 8. The net David Bradford How to improve communication? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] Read More
- 10. The net Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
- 11. Discussion #2 5 levels Hierarchy of needs Safety, trust, intimacy Social threat SCARF model Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 12. 5 levels Photo by Rita Willaert [link] Richard Francisco In what ways do we communicate? Increasing levels of difficulty, risk & learning
- 13. 5 levels1: Ritual 2: Extended Ritual 3: Content 4: Feelings About Content 5: Feelings About Each Other Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
- 14. 5 levels 5: Feelings About Each Other Hardest Riskiest Most powerful for feedback Photo by Rita Willaert [link]
- 15. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Abraham Maslow What motivates us as human beings?
- 16. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Physiological Safety Love & belonging Esteem Self-actualization
- 17. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Parallels in groups & relationships
- 18. Hierarchy of needs Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link] Psychological safety, trust & intimacy Experiments, risk-taking & vulnerability Learning, self- awareness & change In groups & relationships…
- 19. Safety, trust, Photo by Carly Lesser & Art Drauglis [link] intimacy Read More
- 20. Safety, trust, intimacy Safety = I won’t get hurt Trust = I believe you & you believe me Intimacy = We can make the private public
- 21. Safety, trust, intimacy Feedback can create these qualities But there’s a problem…
- 22. Can I give you Photo by Robbie Grubbs [link] some feedback?
- 23. Feedback and Photo by Mykl Roventine [link] social threat
- 24. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Physiological Photo by State Farm [link]
- 25. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Emotional Photo by State Farm [link]
- 26. Threat response aka “Fight, flight or freeze” Cognitive Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by State Farm [link]
- 27. Social threat (Some) social situations ≈ Physical threats Many times/day Most common location?
- 28. Social threat Physiological/emotional response plus… Cognitive impairment Decision-making Problem-solving Collaboration Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
- 29. Social threat Result? Massive communication failure We give feedback ineffectively We receive it poorly Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
- 30. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model Read More David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response?
- 31. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] SCARF model David Rock What social situations trigger a threat response? How can we minimize the risk of social threat? How can we create safety?
- 33. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link] Use the model When giving feedback… Be mindful of status Minimize uncertainty Maximize autonomy Build the relationship* Play fair*
- 34. Use the model When getting feedback… Cultivate in-the-moment awareness Recognize our threat response Manage our emotions Slow things down
- 35. Discussion #3 Relationships The net (again) Mindset Soft start Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
- 36. Photo by Harsha KR [link] Relationships John Gottman What characterizes successful relationships? Read More
- 37. Relationships Feeling known by the other A culture of appreciation Responding to “bids” Mutual influence
- 38. The net Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link] (again)
- 39. The net How to improve communication? How to minimize defensiveness? How can we play fair? Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
- 45. Use the model Stay on our side of the net Focus on observed behavior Disclose our response When you do [X], I feel [Y].
- 46. Use the model Intent ≠ impact My intention doesn’t guarantee your response Impact ≠ intent Your response wasn’t necessarily my intention
- 47. Use the model Result? Lower risk of social threat Less chance of defensiveness Increased sense of fairness
- 48. Carol Dweck How do we feel about our abilities? How do we feel about our mistakes? Mindset Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link] Read More
- 49. Talent & intelligence are inherent traits Mistakes are failures or character flaws Negative emotional response to mistakes Talent & intelligence can be developed Mistakes are learning opportunities Pay close attention to mistakes & learn more Fixed Growth Mindset Read More
- 50. Soft start Photo by Phil McElhinney [link] Not like this
- 51. Soft start Photo by OakleyOriginals [link] Like this
- 52. Soft start Begin with positive intent (But don’t bullshit) Emphasize mutual goals Be mindful of your stress Read More
- 53. To sum up Build safety, trust & intimacy Use the models Minimize social threat Less stressful feedback More learning Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
- 54. Challenge yourself Photo by Daniel Oines [link]
- 55. Photo by Alex Eflon [link] Thank you!
- 56. Building a Feedback-Rich Culture HBR Guide to Coaching Your Employees My background & coaching practice: www.edbatista.com/about.html Contact me: www.edbatista.com/contact.html For more info…