5. Startups as
human systems
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Complex group dynamics
Communication = survival
Feedback = learning
Relationships matter
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6. Startups as
human systems
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
Think about this team…
How are you communicating?
How would you like to communicate?
11. Feelings
Disclosing feelings = vulnerable
But feelings influence
And vulnerability closeness
Comfort with discomfort
Photo by Rebecca Krebs [link]
12. The net
David Bradford
How to improve communication?
How to create closeness and connection?
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Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
13. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
My behavior…
Actions
Statements
Non-Verbals
Needs
Motives
Intentions
Feelings
Reactions
Responses
The net
Me and my… You and your…
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
14. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net
Stay on our side of the net
Focus on observed behavior
Disclose our response
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
15. Concepts #2
Hierarchy of needs
Safety, trust, intimacy
Social threat
SCARF model
Photo by Lee Nachtigal [link]
16. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Abraham Maslow
What motivates us as human beings?
17. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Physiological
Safety
Love & belonging
Esteem
Self-actualization
18. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Some caveats…
* Maslow never used a pyramid
** Not a strict hierarchy
19. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Parallels in groups & relationships
Pre-conditions for success
20. Hierarchy of needs
Photo by Wilhelm Joys Anderson [link]
Psychological safety, trust & intimacy
Experiments, risk-taking &
vulnerability
Learning, self-
awareness & change
In groups & relationships…
23. Startups as
human systems
Think about your interactions in this group…
What enhances safety, trust & intimacy?
What undermines those qualities?
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
33. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model
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David Rock
What social situations
trigger a threat
response?
34. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
SCARF model
David Rock
What social situations trigger a threat response?
How can we minimize the risk of social threat?
How can we increase feelings of safety?
36. Photo by Andrew Vargas [link]
Use the model
When giving feedback…
Be mindful of status
Minimize uncertainty
Maximize autonomy
Build the relationship*
Play fair*
37. Use the model
When getting feedback…
Recognize our threat response
Manage our emotions (Norms help*)
38. To sum up
Build safety, trust & intimacy
Minimize threat response
Better conditions for communication
Less stressful feedback
More effective learning
Photo by Pranav Yaddanapudi [link]
42. 5:1 positive to negative
“Emotional bank account”
Relationships
& conflict
Photo by Connor Tartar [link]
43. Startups as
human systems
Think about your teammates…
How’s your emotional bank account?
What are you doing to build the relationship?
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
44. Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
The net (again)
45. The net
How to be direct while avoiding defensiveness?
How to increase sense of fairness?
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
47. The net
Stay on our side of the net
Focus on observed behavior
Disclose our response
Diminish social threat & defensiveness
Increase sense of fairness
Photo by The Mighty Tim Inconnu [link]
48. Startups as
human systems
Think about your teammates…
When do you cross their net?
When do they cross yours?
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
50. EQ and groups
Why care?
Effective teams
Participation, cooperation, collaboration
Can’t mandate behavior
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
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51. EQ and groups
Essential conditions…
Mutual trust
Group identity (feeling of belonging)
Group efficacy (belief in value of the team)
Strongly affected by group EQ
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
52. EQ and groups
Individual EQ
Emotional awareness
Emotion regulation (≠ suppression)
Inward (one’s own emotions)
Outward (others’ emotions)
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
53. EQ and groups
High EQ individuals ≠ High EQ group
Group norms determine group EQ
Create awareness of emotion
Help regulate emotion
Photo by Woodleywonderworks [link]
54. Startups as
human systems
Think about how you show up on this team…
How aware are you of your emotions?
How well do you regulate your emotions?
Photo by Heisenberg Media [link]
56. Talking about
Group norms
Norms define what’s normative
Can we talk about feelings here?
Overcome embarrassment
feelings
Photo by Andrew Yee [link]
80. Carol Dweck
How do we feel about our abilities?
How do we feel about our mistakes?
Mindset
Photo by Tuomas Puikkonen [link]
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81. Talent & intelligence
are inherent traits
Mistakes are failures or
character flaws
Negative emotional
response to mistakes
Talent & intelligence
can be developed
Mistakes are learning
opportunities
Pay close attention to
mistakes & learn
more
Fixed Growth
Mindset
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90. 1:1 feedback
When getting feedback…
Observe your threat response
Do you want to ask for specific feedback?
91. 1:1 feedback
When giving feedback…
Positive feedback encouraged
Stay on your side of the net
When you do [X], I feel [Y].
Use the Vocabulary of Emotions