1. How to Build Self-
Esteem
Using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and Acceptance and
Commitment Therapy
2. How to Build Self-Esteem
• Everybody has moments of lacking confidence and feeling bad about
themselves. However, when these moments define a person's life, it means
low self-esteem. One develops a low opinion of oneself and becomes over-
critical of everything she does.
• Low self-esteem can ruin every facet of your life. It can affect your
relationships, health, and job. Fortunately, you can build your self-esteem.
Here is how you can develop a healthy opinion of yourself:
3. Recognize Troubling Conditions or Situations
Look through your life and identify the conditions or situations that leave you feeling bad
about yourself. Conventional low self-esteem triggers might include a problem at work or
home, friction with colleagues or loved ones or a change in life circumstances.
4. Beware of Your Thoughts and Beliefs
After identifying the triggers, monitor your thoughts about them. How do you interpret
the situations? What do you tell yourself? As you examine your thoughts and beliefs, check
whether they are positive, negative or neutral. Are they based on facts (rational) or false
ideas (irrational)?
5. Challenge any Negative or Faulty Thoughts
• Challenge your way of thinking. Test your thoughts for accuracy. Is your view consistent
with facts and logic? Is there another way to see the situation? To weed out negative or
inaccurate thoughts avoid the following:
• Seeing things as either black or white, all good or all bad,
• Jumping to negative conclusions,
• Concentrating on the negatives,
• Turning positives into negatives,
• Negative self-talk characterized by undervaluing yourself, self-deprecation, and constantly putting
yourself down, and
• Mistaking feelings for facts.
6. Adjust your Thoughts and Beliefs
• You now need to replace negative, inaccurate and irrational thoughts with positive, accurate and rational
thoughts. Here are useful strategies to help you replace thoughts:
• Use positive statements- Be hopeful. Be positive that everything will eventually turn out well. Remember that
pessimism and fear can turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
• Forgive others and yourself- Forgiveness is a powerful tool. Accept that everyone can make a mistake.
However, a mistake does not define a person forever. You may have made a mistake, but you’re a good
person.
• Avoid unrealistic expectations- Avoid being a perfectionist. Don’t put unreasonable demands either on
yourself or other people.
• Magnify the positive- It pays to focus on the positive. You have some good things to be grateful for. Go back
in time and remember happy times.
• Encourage yourself- Reward yourself for making positive changes, however, tiny they might appear.
7. Build Self Esteem Using Acceptance and
Commitment Therapy
• Identify the Trigger Conditions or Situations.
Look out for the troubling conditions or situations. These are conditions and situations that continually leave
you with a low self-esteem. After identifying the conditions, keep your mind on your thoughts about them.
• Distance Yourself From Your Thoughts.
You can distance yourself from your thoughts by writing them using your non-dominant hand. You can also
imagine seeing your thoughts written on different objects. When you step back from your negative thoughts and
beliefs, they cease to have power over you. As you observe them, you will realize that they are just words.
• Accept Your Thoughts.
Don’t fight or resist your thoughts or feelings. Give yourself the permission to feel them and accept them.
Realize that you don’t have to like, control, change or act upon negative thoughts. Acceptance will diffuse the
negative feelings and thoughts.