1. 2010
EMILY RANSOM ANDRE SOBEL AWARD
FIRST PLACE WINNER
CREATIVE DETERMINED
LOVING COMPASSIONATE
HUMOROUS AMBITIOUS
FRIENDLY OPTIMISTIC
PASSIONATE
Today, Emily is a healthy eighteen-year-old living life to the fullest. She is
currently a freshman at Boston College in Massachusetts. Her major is
Elementary Education and she plans on becoming a kindergarten or first
grade teacher. She is honored to be part of the BC community and has
happily transitioned into college life.
Emily was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia at age eleven.
Through her experience with cancer she learned to appreciate
relationships with others and to embrace opportunities in life. The
Andre Sobel Award gave Emily the chance to share her story with
others. Emily knows the feeling of lying in a hospital bed being told you
have a terminal illness. Fear, confusion, sadness, loneliness, and even
anger take over your body as the message sinks in. The poem Emily
wrote is meant to inspire others on their journey back to health. Emily
hopes that others will connect with the feelings and emotions she felt
throughout her journey and that they will continue to fight back. Never
give up hope!
SPONSORED BY:

2. EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY
I Had Cancer; Cancer Never Had Me
It is not my blood under that microscope
They must have mixed up the vials
I will never have to take steroids or chemo
EMILY
Nausea will not overtake my body each morning
I am not sick, that blood is not mine
My hair will remain attached to my head
A port, what is that? I will never know
Other kids will not pick on me because of my appearance
I will never sleep in a hospital
I am not sick, that blood is not mine
I will never be a cancer patient
Mutated cells are not destroying my body
My life will not change
I will wake up from this horrible nightmare
I am not sick, that blood is not mine
I lost weight because I didn’t eat
I didn’t eat because I wasn’t hungry
I was pale because I didn’t go outside
I didn’t go outside because my body ached
I was exhausted because I didn’t sleep
I didn’t sleep because I couldn’t quiet my mind
I was weak because I didn’t exercise
I didn’t exercise because my muscles were feeble

3. EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY
I didn’t play with my friends because I watched T.V.
I watched T.V. because it didn’t take any effort
I wasn’t acting like a normal eleven year-old because I was different
I was different because I had cancer.
EMILY
It was the chlorine in my drinking water
It was the polluted air in which I breathed
It was the genes passed on by my parents
It was the radiation emitted from the microwave
I am trapped in a body that sabotaged me
It was my blood cells that mutated themselves
It was the spoiled milk that I drank
It was the pen cap I chewed on for days
It was the school lunch I consumed
I am trapped in a body that sabotaged me
It was the time I didn’t wear sunscreen
It was the rusty nail on which I stepped
It was the aerosol spray that entered my lungs
It was the pesticides sprayed on my food
I am trapped in a body that sabotaged me
I swallowed the pills because I was sick
I was sick because of a mutated cell
I cried that morning because it hurt to stand
It hurt to stand because my muscles were sore
I fell down in the shower because my back gave out
My back gave out because it was poisoned

4. EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY
I wore a bandana because my hair fell out
My hair fell out because of the chemotherapy I took
I lay in my bed because I was stuck in my room
I was stuck in my room because I couldn’t walk down the stairs
I didn’t look like a normal eleven year-old because I was different
EMILY
I was different because I had cancer
I take back the time I yelled at my siblings
I take back the mean names I called my friends
I take back the anger that escaped my body
I take back the times I forgot to say thank-you
Why is this disease destroying my body?
I take back the times I broke something special
I take back the lie I told my mom
I take back feelings of jealousy towards my peers
I take back the time I said that I hated my family
Why is this disease destroying my body?
I take back the time I ruined the surprise party
I take back the guilt that I made my dad feel
I take back the envy I felt for my sister
I take back the times I pretended to be sick
Why is this disease destroying my body?
I wanted a cause for my terminal illness because I needed a reason
I needed a reason so I would stop blaming myself
I stopped obsessing for answers because I had to face reality
I had to face reality because the truth is that I may never know the cause of my disease

5. EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY
I learned that cancer was more than a disease because it changed my life
It changed my life because it threatened to take it away
I continued to fight because I wasn’t ready to die
I wasn’t ready to die because I had much more to accomplish
I didn’t think like a normal eleven year-old because I was different
EMILY
I was different because I had cancer
It was my blood under that microscope
They didn’t mix up the vials
I had to take steroids and chemo
Nausea took over my body each morning
I was sick, that blood was mine
My hair because unattached from my head
A port was an IV’s pathway to my veins
Other kids did pick on me because of my appearance
I slept in a hospital for more nights than I can count
I was sick, that blood was mine
I was a cancer patient at Fletcher Allen Health Care
Mutated cells were destroying my body
My life changed dramatically
I never woke up from that reality
I was sick, that blood was mine
I look at the world with different eyes because I am a survivor
I am a survivor because I never lost hope
I look forward to the future because I know it is bright
I know that it is bright because I will embrace every opportunity
I will pursue my dreams because I desire to become a teacher

6. EMILY RANSOM’S ESSAY
I desire to be a teacher because that is my destiny
I am thankful for my doctors, nurses, family, and friends because they helped save me
They helped save me because I had a life to live
I am proud of myself because I conquered leukemia
I conquered leukemia because I am strong.
EMILY
I had cancer; cancer NEVER had me.

7. YOU ARE ABOUT
[YOUR STORY]
Andre Sobel was a remarkable young man who had natural dignity, a promising
future and an unconventional sense of humor. Andre’s young life ended just one
year after he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. He was 19. He was the beloved
son of Erwin and Valerie Sobel and brother to Simone.
Andre was well traveled, often seeking destinations that were frequented by his
favorite authors, like Samuel Beckett, St. Augustine and Franz Kafka. The books
Andre treasured were filled with his margin comments, underlinings and
asterisks, the stamp of his rich intellectual curiosity. But the finest of all his gifts
were his qualities of mercy and compassion.
To honor Andre, and out of their deep love and respect for him, his family
established the Andre Sobel River of Life Foundation and shortly thereafter the
Andre Sobel Essay Award. The purpose of the competition is to honor the young
survivors of a catastrophic illness. If a young person considered themselves to be
a “survivor” or were the companion of a survivor, they were invited to enter the
essay competition.
This year, several cash awards were granted. The first place winner received a
$5,000 cash prize Smaller cash prizes were awarded to the runner-ups. The
cash award can be used in any way the recipient chooses.