1. Saadia Z. Yunus, MA, MFT
www.facebook.com/TheMuslimMFT
TheMuslimMFT@gmail.com
The strongest chains are not always visible…

2. Marriage in Islam
The Qur'an
says: "Your
spouses are a
garment for
you, and you are
a garment for
them" (2:187)
 "It is He who created you from
a single soul, And made its
mate of like nature in order
that you might dwell with
him/her in love...."(7:189)
 So the male and female
complete each other - together
they make a single self and this
is how they must strive to make
their lives together - as if they
are one being, one person, one
spirit.

3. A Strong Foundation
 The marital
relationship is the
foundation of the
building called
family
 Order of
Importance
 God, Spouse, Chil
dren
 The BEST thing
you can do for your
kids is LOVE your
spouse

4. A Good Divorce VS. Bad Marriage
 Empirical evidence suggests that children are harmed
less by the elements of a divorce than the discord
between dysfunctional parents
 A low-conflict environment is crucial to the healthy
growth of a child

5. Child’s Mental/Physical Health
 Mental and physical
health:
 Child perceptions of
parent marital quality
directly predict mental
health indicators—
anxiety, depression, and
internalizing behaviors
 Parent marital conflict is
related to overall child
health, digestive
problems, fatigue, and
chronic illness
Adolescents
Substance
use, sexual
activity, religio
us activity, and
education
outcomes

6. Marital Conflict
 The slightest hint of aggression or hostility sparks a sharp
increase in cortisol levels and cardiac stress in children
 Children exhibit same stress reaction when parents:
 yell at each other
 are contemptuous with each other
 call each other names
 roll eyes
 give out an exasperated sigh
 avoid their partner
 use intimidation (e.g. point a finger at their partner or glare at
them, etc.)

7. Teaching By Example
 Children witnessing unhealthy communication
patterns between their parents grow up with a
misunderstanding of what a healthy relationship looks
like
 Witnessing marital conflict that is resolved with
respect, warmth and empathy has shown to have a
very positive effect on children learning how to
manage stress in a healthy way and teaching them
how to resolve conflict in a healthy manner

8. Healthy Family
 Individuals exist within relationships
 Family roles:




Husband, wife, mother, father, daughter, son, sister, br
other
Hierarchy: Husband and wife
Boundaries: Rigid Vs. Diffuse:
How close are you?
Triangles, Coalitions
Coparenting is essential!
 Head coaches of the same team
 Discipline within the arena

9. Healthy Couples
 Successful marriages have a higher ratio of positivity vs.
negativity
 The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Dr.
Gottman, based on decades of research)
Enhance your love maps
2. Nurture fondness and admiration
3. Turn toward each other instead of away
4. Let your partner influence you
5. Solve your solvable problems
6. Overcome gridlock
7. Create shared meaning
1.

10. Get help before it is too late…
 It is better for you. It’s better for your children.
 Gottman-The average couple waits six years before
seeking help for marital problems
 Half of all marriages that end do so in the first seven
years
 This means that the average couple lives with
unhappiness for far too long.

11. The Prophet (S), the Therapist
 Islam encourages therapy
 He did not have one answer for
every question
 Paid attention to
people, considered their
psychology, articulated his
counseling in a way that would
help them specifically
 Ability to empathize with people;
Non-judgmental
 Get rid of the stigma! It is good to
go to therapy

12. Action Plan!
What’s yours?

13. The End: Resources
 Resources:
 Books:


The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families --Stephen R. Covey
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work --Dr. John Gottman
and Nan Silver
 THERAPISTS:
 TheMuslimMFT@gmail.com
 Find me on Facebook and Twitter
 www.therapistlocator.net
 Online Islamic University counseling
References: The University of
Notre Dame, 2002, ASPE, 2009, Wendi Hill, 2012,