Writing for Children: An e-Portfolio of Poems and Reflections
1. Jennifer D. Fliss
Pennsylvania State University
Writing for Children
LL ED 597G
Fall 2011
Dr. Susan Campbell Bartoletti
Image: http://raisingcreativeandcuriouskids.blogspot.com/2010/06/creative-summer-games.html
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3. This is dedicated to the two most important men in my life….
The man of my past…..
My grandfather, Auggie,
……and the man of my present and my future…..
My son, Matthew.
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4. Writing for Children
e-portfolio
Table of Contents
Part 1 – Original Work
Personal Mantra………………………………………………………………..Page 5
Goodbye, Summer…………………………………………….......……………Page 7
Pennsylvania Autumn……………………………..………………………….Page 9
My Friend……………………………………………..…………….………....Page 11
A Childhood Memory…………………………………….…………………Page 13
Child Centric Haiku…………………………………………………………Page 15
Part 2 – Critiques and Personal Philosophy
Assessed Critique One ………….………………………………….……… Page 18
Assessed Critique Two…………………………………………..…………..Page 19
Received Critique One…………………………………….……….………..Page 20
Received Critique Two…………………………….………..……………….Page 22
Personal Philosophy of Children’s Literature…………………….……..Page 23
Part 3 – Appendix
Author’s Note…………………………………………………..…………….Page 26
Biographical Information about the Author…………..…………..……Page 27
Five Blurbs…………………………………………………………..………..Page 28
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5. Personal Mantra
I believe every day is a purpose.
I believe every breath is a miracle.
I believe every child is a blessing.
I believe every death is a beginning.
I believe every giggle is a treasure.
I believe every tear is a reflection.
I believe every family is a challenge.
I believe every smile is a chance.
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6. Personal Reflection:
Personal Mantra truly tells who and what is important in my life. I have
been so lucky to have loved and lost; to have laughed and cried; to have
welcomed life and watched it slip away. Each of these experiences has made
me stronger and has changed my life for the better; creating my personal
mantra, I believe, allowed me to reflect on that fact. Now, every time I say or
read my Personal Mantra, I recall a person or moment in time and I
reminisce about what significance that person or moment has in my life. It
is a piece that is very special to me and I am glad that I had the opportunity
to finally put my thoughts to paper in this course.
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7. Goodbye, Summer!
Goodbye, Summer!
Goodbye, Summer. I am sad to see you go.
I’ll miss all the fun we had while school was out and I was free.
Goodbye, swimming pool. I’ll miss splashing in your water and making gigantic
waves!
Goodbye, green grass and blue skies. I’ll
miss tumbling on your blanket of green and
watching your puffy clouds that make
shapes of horses and dragons, too.
Goodbye, amusement parks. I’ll miss riding
your belly-twisting roller coasters and eating
cotton candy until my stomach hurts!
Goodbye, fireworks. I’ll miss watching your Matthew and Pappy on his first roller
explosions in the sky that make me shriek! coaster ride.
Goodbye, fireflies. I’ll miss running around my backyard at night, mayonnaise
jar in hand, seeing how many of you I can catch!
Goodbye, rainstorms. I’ll miss jumping in the mud puddles you leave as Mom
watches with a frown!
Goodbye, creek. I’ll miss searching for crayfish under your rocks as your cold
water trickles over my toes.
Goodbye, swings. I’ll miss pumping my legs higher and higher, trying to reach
the sun with each stretch.
Goodbye, Summer. See you next year.
Matthew enjoying
Summertime fun in the pool.
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8. Personal Reflection:
Goodbye, Summer is a piece very near and dear to my heart. I was
genuinely attempting to write this through the eyes of my six and a half year
old son, Matthew. We got a new pool this summer that he practically lived
in; he rode his first “real” roller coaster at Kennywood Park; he spent
countless hours scanning the creek for crayfish; he ran around catching
lightening bugs in our back yard nearly every night. I wanted to capture
every detail of his fantastic summer vacation via his perception, yet I wanted
to make it a “writers” piece, filled with descriptors and illustrators that
would bring the piece to life. However, it came to pass that I learned that
child-centric doesn’t necessarily need to have fancy vocabularies to bring
meaning to a piece. In fact, quite the opposite is true as long as other details
fall into place. I loved writing this poem and it still makes me smile every
time I read it. It brings back memories of the wonderful summer I just spent
with Matthew, yet it makes me see how I’ve grown as a writer as well.
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9. Pennsylvania Autumn
Strolling through the rolling hills of rural Pennsylvania in the fall is like nothing
else.
Shivering from the chill of the early morning crispness still left in the air….
Smelling the faint scent of smoke from wood burning furnaces whose homes
are nestled deep in the forest glens….
Watching the sun illuminate a kaleidoscope of colors on trees whose leaves
harvest their hues straight from a crayon box….
Hearing the snapping and splintering of breaking branches as deer cautiously
tread amidst the protection of the massive towering pines….
Captivated by the beauty of God’s divinely-painted canvas,
The wonder of nature is all around me.
Its simplicity is mesmerizing and its wonder is inspiring.
I am at peace.
A view from my back deck…the true
beauty of autumn!
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10. Personal Reflection:
Pennsylvania Autumn is a piece that I wrote as my family drove to the
Franklin Apple Festival early one Sunday morning. I did hear some of the
sounds, and I could smell and see other things that I tried to bring to
fruition in this poem. The remaining sensory descriptions were conjured
up in my mind having lived in a relatively woodsy area of Pennsylvania all
my life. I love fall and all of the sights, sounds, and scents it brings so
this piece really spoke to me and writing it was an amazing experience.
I found this piece a challenge to write, however, because bringing to life
each of the senses and to trying to illustrate each one in a way that truly
expressed what was going on in my mind was tough, but enjoyable. I
also had a difficult time trying to cut each line (after the suggestion of
my classmates via their critiques) to make each more uniform in length.
Quite a struggle! Nonetheless, I love this piece as I learned to incorporate
sensory detail in my writing. Plus, this poem reflects one of my favorite
times of the year and I never pass up an opportunity to share my
thoughts on such a beautiful season!
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11. My Friend
I see the ugliness of Your anger, but I still appreciate the beauty of Your
patience.
I see the darkness of Your jealousy, but I still appreciate the brilliance of Your
goodwill.
I see the emptiness of Your sadness, but I still appreciate the totality of Your
joy.
I see the surliness of Your frustration, but I still appreciate the merriment of
Your achievements.
I see the dispiritedness of Your exhaustion, but I still appreciate the fervor of
Your strength.
I see the gloominess of Your fear, but I still appreciate euphoria of Your
confidence.
I see the aloofness of Your loneliness, but I still appreciate the tenderness of
Your companionship.
I see the coldness of Your malice, but I still appreciate the warmth of Your
benevolence.
I see the forebodingness of Your pain, but I still appreciate the serenity of Your
contentment.
I see the lovingness that is all of You.
You are My Friend.
This is my best friend, Courtney, and I
at her wedding in 2000. She and I
have been best friends since
elementary school.
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12. Personal Reflection:
My Friend is a powerful, passionate piece based off of the popular
saying, “A friend is someone who sees through you and still enjoys the
view.” I was unsure if this assignment was meant to be a child-centric
poem, so I opted to make it bold and forceful instead. There is nothing
about this poem that is child-centric, but I feel confident that I showed
my versatility as a writer should I choose to move on to write something
for older children or even adults in the future.
This piece shows the direct contrast of personality traits –
ugliness/beauty, aloofness/tenderness, coldness/warmth – and the
dichotomy that we all can display during our most trying times. I chose
this way of expressing my interpretation of the aforementioned saying
because I think this contradiction is something we definitely see in the
test of true friendship. I am very proud of this piece; it is one of my
favorites.
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13. A Childhood Memory
Alone.
Scared.
Away from home.
Away from Mommy.
This room is dark.
Shadows from trees outside creep along the ceiling like giants and creaking
floor boards make noises that remind me of monsters lurking in every corner.
The bed is too big - it’s as big as the old fishing pond and the covers smell
musty and old like great-grandma’s dirty basement.
I miss my pretty pink bedspread and my fluffy pillows that smell fresh and
clean like my favorite dress when Mommy takes it out of the dryer.
The paintings and pictures on the walls are ugly - the people in them look like
they have been dead for years and I don’t think the places in them really exist.
I want to cuddle my kitty cat stuffed animal; I have nothing here to hold.
Why is Daddy saying that I have to stay overnight?
I always go home to Mommy after I visit with Daddy and Grandma for the day.
I want my Mommy.
I want my happy bedroom, not this horrible room that’s cold and creepy.
This room is dark.
Away from Mommy
Away from home.
Scared.
Alone.
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14. Personal Reflection:
A Childhood Memory is an actual memory from my past. It is from a
visitation I went on with my father when I was very young. My visitations
were always only during the day at my grandmother’s (his mother’s) and I
was always taken home at night. However, for whatever reason during
this particular visit, it got too late and my father didn’t want to drive me
home. I was forced to stay overnight. I was terrified because it was my
first night away from my mother – ever. I recall the terror that went
through my mind so vividly in this piece – the shadows and sounds, the
large bed the smelled so terrible compared to my sheets at home, how
much I missed my stuffed animals. I missed my mother so much and I
was so petrified. I wanted to cry but I didn’t dare. I was so confused.
This piece allowed me to open my mind and let the flood gates spill. It
was so easy to let the memories tumble out of my mind, but getting the
details out was difficult. I went through so many revisions of this piece
and each one seemed to get mixed feedback. My initial pass through this
piece was too vague; as I changed and altered, some liked what I wrote,
others thought it got worse. This was my first reality check that
sometimes you can overcorrect a piece and it’s better left alone!
Nonetheless, it was the feedback and critiques of others in the class that
help to really bring this scary room in my memory to vivid reality!
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15. Child Centric Haiku
The falling raindrops
Creates a display of light
A rainbow is born
Fluffy white snowflakes
Falling all around my house
Make marshmallow crème
The firefly blinks
In the dark summertime sky
Lightning flashes bright
The beautiful snow-capped trees in my
backyard!
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16. Personal Reflection
Child Centric Haikus was one of the most difficult assignments for me
to write this semester. I was not familiar at all with haiku before this
lesson and disciplining myself to write haiku was trying. However, once I
got used to writing in 5-7-5 syllables, I found myself enjoying writing
these mini poems. I have always been touched by nature and found that
when I am surrounded by nature, I am at my most creative. The fact that
haiku is typically grounded in nature, feelings, or experiences appealed to
me and the more I played with writing my haiku for this assignment, the
more the words and expressions flowed without effort. I think this was
reflected in the fact that my fellow classmates seemed to be quite pleased
with my haikus in their critiques with most being quite complimentary of
my poems. I had very positive feedback, which made me feel very
confident in my growing abilities.
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17. Part 2 - Critiques & Personal Philosophy
A. Two examples of two critiques you gave to someone in your assigned
workshop. Include our classmate’s name and workshop number so that
your instructor can locate it, if necessary). Include a reflection that
explains why these critiques were helpful. Perhaps you might consider
why the critiques helped you learn about your own writing.
B. Two critiques that someone gave you with a short reflections upon the
critique and how it helped (include workshop number so that your
instructor can locate it, if necessary). Include a reflection. Why was the
critique helpful?
C. Your personal philosophy of children’s literature and how that
philosophy evolved over the semester. This is the time for you to reflect
upon the philosophy that you wrote in Class 1 and how your philosophy
has changed or evolved over the semester. In a well-written short essay,
consider one or more of the following questions:
How does your work read against your early philosophy?
Has your philosophy changed or evolved?
How has the experience of writing for children impacted or
changed your philosophy?
Is there anything you’d like to revise?
Is there anything you’d like to add or change?
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18. Assessed Critique One
Title: Lisa’s Short Story Beginning
Author: Lisa Moe
Workshop: 5.7
My critique of Lisa’s short story was short, but sweet. I think that my
suggestions were useful for Lisa as I believe that they helped her find
confidence in her writing style and assisted with the flow of her story as well
as the development of her main character. My goal was to be sure to point
out a few inconsistencies and confusing parts of her story (about Josie and
the death of her little brother, Noel) while at the same time showing Lisa
that she used emotion to bring a very touching element to the piece without
become too overpowered by the feelings shown by the characters.
I told Lisa that she had a very tasteful and tactful way of writing; one that
subtly gets her message across without making glaring references or blatant
observations. This is a true sign of an exceptional writer and something that
I aspire to be like someday. I truly hope my critique was able to help her
realize her potential and talents as a writer.
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19. Assessed Critique Two
Title: My Observation Piece from 6.1
Author: Courtney Riggin
Workshop: 6.4
My critique of Courtney’s piece was a little harsher than what I typically
write, but I think it was merited in this case. Courtney had asked that our
workshop give her feedback on how to make this piece (about a child
observing individuals in a church environment) more child-centric, which is
exactly what I did in my critique of her work. Many of the descriptors
Courtney used were very adult-driven and the goal of my critique was to
bring Courtney’s focus back to the child’s point of view. Additionally, I tried
to make Courtney reach for the use of other expressive terms when
describing various objects within her piece, such as the “heavy pine beams”
and “rigid wooden pews”. She used these same phrases a couple of times in
her piece, and although I understand wanting to repeat them for consistency
purposes, I think finding other terms to describe the beams and pews would
add depth to her piece.
Courtney has such a knack for bringing life to her compositions with her
vibrant details and imageries that sweep you into the middle of scenes; I
know that by coaxing her to make a few minor alterations her works can be
magnificent. I hope my critique was able to do just that!
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20. Received Critique One
Title: A Walk in the Pennsylvania Woods
Critiqued by: Lisa Moe
Workshop: 6.4
Lisa’s critique really made me take a step back and look at writing this piece
from a different perspective. Although she was very complimentary and
found many things she liked in my piece, Lisa made many suggestions that
helped to improve this piece substantially. Initially I wanted to write this
strictly from a first person point of view, but Lisa’s comments made me see
that the overuse of the “I” pronoun at the beginning of each stanza took
away from the powerful impact its use could make at the very end of the
piece when I really wanted to make a bold statement with the “I am at
peace” proclamation. By removing the “I” and rewriting the stanza to read
as more of me telling the story from an abstract perspective, I think the
piece became much more impressive.
Lisa also pointed out how I brought to light so many beautiful illustrations
in my piece, only to then describe nature as God’s “untouched” canvas.
Lisa’s comment made me realize that an untouched canvas would be plain -
void of the colors, scents, and details that I so richly described. This was a
wonderful observation! In a final remark, Lisa caught a weakness in my
writing where I had deer searching for food and asked, ‘how did I know the
deer were searching for food?’ This was an excellent point – how would I
know if the deer were looking for food or if they were just meandering
around? Thanks to Lisa’s comment, I learned that when writing, one should
never make observations that cannot be substantiated!
Overall, Lisa’s critique showed me that good writing can be tweaked to
become better writing and that small changes can make the biggest, most
significant differences. Her critique provided invaluable insights and
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21. feedback that I have used since Workshop 6.4 to try to tighten and hone my
writing skills.
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22. Received Critique Two
Title: Jenn’s Abstract Apostrophe Poem (8.2) Revised
Critiqued by: Courtney Riggin
Workshop: 8.9
Although I did not include this poem in my e-portfolio, the critique that
Courtney wrote for this piece helped me to better my writing style and
tighten my wording for other pieces that I did include in the e-portfolio. In a
prior critique, you had told me that if a noun or verb is strong enough, it
should not need a modifier. I believe that is the point that Courtney is
trying to get across in her critique of my abstract apostrophe poem entitle,
“My Bed, My Sanctuary” with comments like “remove softly” and “remove
truly”. She points out that these words are not necessary and only serve to
clutter the piece.
I also found Courtney’s keen eye helped me to find ways that I could
rearrange what I already had on paper to make it sound so much better. For
example, Courtney suggested that I say “broken from sickness and tattered
from exhaustion”, which seemed to make the piece flow much easier than
the way I had originally written the stanza. She was quick to point out
where I was overzealous with my writing and made a subtle suggestion to
rethink the obvious, indicating that verbose doesn’t necessarily mean
impressive from a creative writing perspective.
There were several other things that Courtney pointed out that helped me
see both the positives and the negatives of my writing techniques. She made
some excellent points that helped me to see what was right in front of me,
but I couldn’t see for myself. I learned a lot from not only this critique but
from many of Courtney’s critiques throughout this course. I hope that she
knows that I will benefit from her kindness and wisdom as I work on my
writings for years to come.
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23. Personal Philosophy of Children’s Literature
Get an idea with a simple message, add a character or two that kids can relate
to, create a few cute drawings, and slap them all between two covers. Done.
That is what my basic philosophy of writing for children was at the beginning
of this course. Well, not really, but it is pretty close.
So much has changed since those early days of Writing for Children. My
philosophy has changed so much. I realize now that there is so much more
than just the message and the characters when writing for children, they are
just a minimal part in the grand scheme of it all and can change drastically as a
story develops and builds into a work of art with a real identity all its own.
One of the most important things I’ve learned is that a writer really needs to
know her audience. What age is specifically being targeted? What are the
likes/dislikes/interests for that age range? What are the social, developmental,
educational needs for that age range? Is there anything in particular that kids
at this age do or do they like to go any place in particular? These questions
help a writer get into the heart and soul of her target audience and really can
help her develop a character that relates to her peers. These are questions that
I would have never originally thought to originally probe.
Another epiphany for me was that a writer needs to incorporate all of the
senses into the scenes. I am ashamed to say that this is something I never even
gave a second thought. However, throughout this course, I have thoroughly
enjoyed learning to add depth to my poems and stories by pulling in sights,
sounds, smells, and tastes that I would never have integrated into my writings
in the past. I’ve learned that this makes scenes more complete and three
dimensional, more life-like and inviting to readers.
I have learned much more that I will cover in my final paper, but I think the
overall idea that want to convey in this brief essay is that my philosophy is no
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24. longer to simply get a message, add a character or two that kids can relate to,
create a few cute drawings, and slap them all between two covers. I now
understand that there is much, much more that goes on between those covers
and I am glad that I am now the wiser.
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25. Part 3 – Appendix
A. Author’s Note
B. Biographical information about the author
C. Five blurbs solicited from other readers
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26. Author’s Note
I have never thought of myself as a writer. I certainly never thought of myself
as an author. I absolutely never thought of myself as someday publishing a
work for children. However, thanks to this course, that thought process has
changed.
I have always been told that I have had a gift for writing and I have always been
proud of what I have been able to take out of my head and put on to a piece of
paper. However, what I have been able to make magically flow from my brain
and out through my fingertips has always been for my own personal use, for
business, or for academic purposes. Never in my wildest dreams had I ever
considered truly writing anything for entertainment value……until now.
This class has given me not only the tools and the techniques, but it has given
me the confidence I needed and the vision I was lacking to make me truly
believe that I may actually have what it takes to write a book for children
someday. I already know that I have a gift for putting words on to paper; now I
have the added knowledge and have a better understanding of the craft that I
need to explore my mind, absorb my surroundings, and build upon my
experiences to create a work of art that has endless possibilities. The World is
a blank journal just waiting for me to fill it in with my writings!
It is my sincerest hope that my works included here touch you as much as they
touched me as I composed them and they inspire you to create your own
masterpieces.
Best Wishes….
Jenn
Artwork Copyright Original Country Clipart by Lisa www.countryclipart.com
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27. Biographical information about the author
Jennifer D. Fliss has lived in Lower Burrell, Pennsylvania for her entire life.
Jennifer earned her undergraduate degree and MBA from Robert Morris
University in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania before earning her M.Ed. in Adult
Education and Distance Certification from Penn State University. She had
successful careers in Banking, Project Management, and Strategic Planning
before leaving the corporate workforce to serve as the full-time caregiver to her
elderly grandfather and as a full-time mommy to her son, Matthew.
Jennifer now works as an aide at a local elementary school and does freelance
consultant work as she continues to work on honing her craft as a writer. Her
hobbies include watching the Pittsburgh Steelers and Penguins, reading,
volunteering, and enjoying quality time with Matthew at his numerous after
school activities, such as Cub Scouts and Taekwondo. Jennifer most enjoys
spending time with her family, which aside from Matthew includes her parents,
Diane and Chuck, and her brother, Steven, who all also live in Lower Burrell.
She also loves to run around with her dog, Molly.
Jenn
(center) and Matthew
her parents, & Uncle
Diane & Steven
Chuck
Good, Golly, Matthew
Miss Molly! &
Mommy
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28. Five blurbs
Jennifer has always been a talented writer. Her writing is always thought-
provoking and inspiring. I always know that what she writes comes from
the heart and is written with such feeling that it will either bring me to tears,
make me laugh, or fire me up!
- Diane Labecki, Lower Burrell, PA
Jenn’s writing is comparable to none. Her heart and her spirit are in
everything she writes. I don’t know how she channels her thoughts and
emotions, but they always end up in a finished product that I can’t wait to
read.
- Michelle Letteratis, Paramus, NJ
Every assignment Jennifer has submitted is so impeccably written; there
have been many times I’ve wondered why she has not written something
professionally. Her attention to detail, careful choice of words and the
overall refinement of her work really make me proud to call her a former
student and a friend.
- Nell Hartley, Pittsburgh, PA
I love reading Jenn’s work. I’ve come to her so many times for help with my
own assignments because I know that she will always have excellent
suggestions that make my pieces better than I ever imagined. She’s the best!
- Mindy Larko, Lower Burrell, PA
I have always enjoyed Jenn’s writings, but I thoroughly enjoyed reading what
she’s written in recent months. I’ve seen her blossom in her creativity and
her confidence which has made her an even better writer than before. Jenn
brings emotions, playfulness, craftiness – a true myriad of thoughts and
sentiments to the table that I’ve never seen in her work before. She’s grown
as a writer and as a woman. Beautiful on both counts!
- Sue Kenney, Portland, OR
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