Love And relationships made by :Dr Aniqa Saleem

1. Topic: Love and Relationships
Submitted to: Madam Shazara Mehmood
Submitted by: Group # 06
Group Members: Nida Javaid (06)
Rehana Kousar
Nazish Fatima
Aqsa Akbar
Tehreem Rana
Hafsa Iqbal
Amtul Musawer

2. Contents:
1. Introduction to love and relationships
2. What is Love?
3. Loving and liking
4. Types of love
5. Theories of love
6. Interpersonal Attraction
7. What are Relationships?
8. Interpersonal Relationships
9. Types of Interpersonal Relationships
10. Development of Interpersonal Relationships
11. Theories of Interpersonal Relationships
12. Interpersonal Intelligence
13. Kinds of feelings
14. Levels of Relationships
15. Family relationships
16. Friendship relationships
17. Concluding Paragraph
18. References

3. Introduction to Love & Relationships:
This is a huge subject and one full of many ideas and opinions. Everyone needs love and
relations in its life as no one can live isolate in this world without any interaction from the other
people. Relationships made a large and very beautiful part of our life, e.g Father and Daughter’s
relation, Mother and Son’s relation, Sister and Brother’s relation and so many other beautiful
relations. Each relation needs love for its successful working.
When we are in love the world feels like a great place.
There are songs of love, movies and books about love. This is a never ending subject that we
could write about for months but it would be only our opinion.
Love:
The first definition of "love," according to The American Heritage College Dictionary, is "A
deep, tender feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship
or a sense of oneness."
Then, after ten more variations on the theme, the dictionary lists several synonyms that "denote
feelings of warm personal attachment or strong attraction to another person" — love, affection,
devotion, fondness, infatuation — and describes how they compare.

4. Love is the most intense: We married for love.
Affection is a less ardent and more unvarying feeling of tender regard: Parental affection is the
feeling most parents have toward their children.
Devotion is earnest, affectionate dedication and implies selflessness: He was a leader who
inspired devotion.
Fondness is strong liking or affection: She had a strong fondness for small animals.
Infatuation is foolish or extravagant attraction, often of short duration: Their infatuation blinded
them to their differences.
A precise meaning of love may not be possible, although the writers of dictionaries certainly try
their best. Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not
rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does
not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and
always perseveres. Love never fails.
Since countless trillions of years ago, the word ―love‖ existed still, but it has never been
described in one word, or by single phrase. And this kind of inner complexity of love, became
likely confusing, especially when it comes to the so-called "being in love‖, because it touches a
very strange and strong dimension of humane mind, and surpasses our level of understanding,
then we become overwhelmed, and out of self-control level, and this led to another step of
confusion, extreme desire, and end up with a certain level of stress, frustration, anger, and even
to the dissociation. In other words, from life to death.
And surprisingly believers and non-believers even atheists, scientists, fighters and peacemakers,
all kind of people believe in love or at least they collect some profits from love.
So far, however we call it, the so called ―love‖ does exists, no matter what we do with it.
Therefore, every single individual has right to be or not in love. Just matter of self need and

5. desires, in line with independence and freedom. Because any forced love would not be called
love, violated or abused-love instead.
It is true that life without love can never exists; people might run behind money and success but
at the end all we need to lead a happy and peaceful life is, loving people around.
Talking about love our mind fills with lot of imaginations and fails to arrange words in order to
express it. At such time when you are confused how to express your love to your beloved then
first analyze what makes you feel for the person. Is it just a fascination or true? When you pen
down on the paper with words tell about an incident t about him or her that touched your heart.
Next move on to find what is his or her reaction towards you. Let the person know what you like
about him or her. Slowly roll your loving emotion towards the person to give a complete picture
of what is framed in your mind.
Liking and Loving:
Nothing is more important in most people’s lives than their feelings for others. Consequently, it
is not surprising that liking and loving have become a major focus of interest for social
psychologists.
How do we like thee? The ways:
By far the greatest amount of research has focused on liking, probably because it is easier for
investigators conducting short-term experiments to produce states of liking in strangers who
have just met than to investigate and observe loving relationships over long periods.
Consequently, research has given us a good deal of knowledge about the factors that initially
attract two people to each other. The important factors social psychologists consider are the
following:

6. Proximity:
If we live in a dormitory or an apartment, consider the friends we made first moved
in. Chances are that we became friendliest with those who lived geographically closest to us. In
fact, this is one of the more firmly established findings in the literature on interpersonal
attraction: Proximity leads to liking.
Mere exposure:
Repeated exposure to a person is often sufficient to produce attraction. Interestingly,
repeated exposure to any stimulus-a person, picture or virtually anything-usually makes
us like the stimulus more. Becoming familiar with a person can evoke positive feelings;
we then transfer the positive feelings stemming from familiarity to the person him or
herself. There are exceptions, though. In case of strongly negative initial interactions,
repeated exposure is unlikely to cause us to like a person more. Instead, the more we
are exposed to him or her, the more we may dislike the individual.
Similarity:
Folk wisdom tells us that birds of a feather flock together. However, it also maintains
that opposites attract. Social psychologists have come up with a clear verdict regarding
which of the two statements are true: We tend to like those who are similar to us.
Discovering that others have similar attitudes, values or traits promotes our liking for
them. Furthermore, the more similar others are, the more we like them. One reason
similarity increases the likelihood of interpersonal attraction is that we assume people
with similar attitudes will evaluate us positively. Because we experience a strong
reciprocity-of-liking effect (a tendency to like those who are like us), knowing that
someone evaluates us positively promotes our attraction to that person. In addition, we
assume that when we like someone else, that person likes us in return.
Physical attractiveness:
For most people, the equation:
Beautiful=Good
is quite true. As a result, physically attractive people are more popular than the
physically unattractive ones, if all other factors are equal. This finding, which contradicts
the values that most people say they hold, is apparent even in childhood-with children
of nursery school age rating their peer’ popularity on the basis of attractiveness-and
continues into adulthood. Indeed, physical attractiveness may be the single most

7. important element promoting initial liking in college dating situations, although its
influence eventually decreases when people get to know each other better.
These factors alone, of course, do not count for the liking. For example, in one experiment
that examined the desired qualities in a friendship, the top-rated qualities in a same-sex
friend included sense of humor, warmth and kindness, expressiveness and openness, an
exciting personality, and similarity of interests and leisure activities.
How do we love thee? The ways:
Whereas our knowledge of what makes people like one another is extensive, our
understanding of love is more limited in scope and recently acquired. For some time, many
social psychologists believed that love was too difficult to observe and study in a controlled,
scientific way. However, love is such a central issue in most people’s lives that eventually
social psychologists could not resist its allure.
As a first step, researchers tried to identify the characteristics that distinguish between
mere liking and full-blown love. They discovered that love is not simply a greater quantity of
liking but a qualitatively different psychological state. For instance, at least in its early
stages, love includes relatively intense physiological arousal, an all-encompassing interest in
another individual, fantasizing about the other, and relatively rapid swings of emotion.
Similarly, love, unlike liking, includes elements of passion, closeness, fascination,
exclusiveness, sexual desire, and intense caring. We idealize partners by exaggerating their
good qualities and minimizing their imperfections.
Other researchers have theorized that there are two main types of love:
Passionate love and Companionate love. Passionate or Romantic love represents a state of
intense absorption in someone. It includes intense physiological arousal, psychological
interest, and caring for the needs of another. In contrast, Companionate love is the strong
affection we have for those with whom our lives are completely involved. The love we feel
for our parents, other family members, and even some close friends falls into the category
of companionate love.

8. Psychologist Robert Sternberg makes an even finer differentiation between types of love.
He proposes that love consists of three parts:
Decision/commitment, the initial thoughts that one loves someone and the longer-term
feelings of commitment to maintain love.
Intimacy component, feelings of closeness and connectedness.
Passion component, the motivational drives relating to sex, physical closeness, and
romance.
According to the Sternberg, these three components combine to produce the different
types of love. He suggests that different combinations of the three components vary over
the course of relationships. For example, in strong, loving relationships, the level of
commitment peaks and then remains stable. Passion, on the other hand, peaks quickly and
then declines and levels off relatively early in most relationships. In addition relationships
are happiest in which the strength of various components are similar between two partners.
According to the Sternberg, love has three main components: Intimacy, Passion and
Decision/commitment. Different combinations of these components can create other types
of love.
1. Liking(intimacy)
2. Romantic love(intimacy + passion)
3. Consummate love(intimacy + passion + decision/commitment)
4. Companionate love(intimacy + decision/commitment)
5. Infatuation(passion)
6. Fatuous love(passion + decision/commitment)
7. Empty love(decision/commitment)
Types of love:
There are many types of love according to its concept and understandings by psychologist. But
main concepts about love are describe in triangular theory of love. There are basic components
of love are intimacy, passion and commitment.
The triangular theory of love is a theory of love developed by psychologist Robert Sternberg.
In the context of interpersonal relationships, "the three components of love, according to the
triangular theory, are an intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment
component."

9. 1. Intimacy – Which encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and
bondedness.
2. Passion – Which encompasses drives connected to both limerence and sexual attraction.
3. Commitment – Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with
another, and in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that
other.
4.
According to psychologists six types of love are formulate from three basic components
of love.
Relationship
Intimacy Passion Commitment
Type
Non love
Infatuation X
Liking X
Empty Love X
Fatuous love X X
Romantic love
X X
- 'Fling'
Companionate
X X
love
Consummate
X X X
love

10. Fatuation is defined as a superficial type of love that is usually
one-sided. Passion Only (No Intimacy or Commitment). It's the 'love at
first sight' that may lead to a more significant type of love later. If
the object of affection does not reciprocate interest, this can be a
long lasting infatuation.
Liking is defined as a type of typical friendship (not a best friendship, however). In
sexual relationship terms, this might include 'friends with benefits'. ~ All Sides Absent (No
Passion, Intimacy or Commitment) – Basically, this type of relationship is of just an
acquaintance.
Empty Love is a long term love that has lost the passion and intimacy it once had, and
the people are staying in it out of habit or fear of change. Commitment Only (No Passion or
Intimacy) – This is most often an older relationship where the passion and intimacy have
died…like ―falling out of love.‖ Another example of this might be an arranged marriage.
InFatuous Love is the infatuation stage of a reciprocated relationship, and people
involved are 'ga ga' over each other. After the newness of the relationship wears off, the
commitment to continue exploring the relationship may fade off too. There is no real

11. intimacy forming here that is sustainable. Hollywood calls this a 'whirlwind romance.'
Romantic Love is defined as a generally sexual relationship that wears off as the
newness wears off. There's never really a commitment to explore an intimate
relationship. This might be described as a 'fuck buddy' type of relationship. I think
'Romantic Love' is a bit of a misnomer.
Companionate Love is defined as a long term relationship with a lot of intimacy, but no
passion. Perhaps it's a previously passionate relationship where that aspect has worn
off. Or perhaps it's a very close friendship, such as a best friend.
Consummate Love is defined as the 'complete balanced love we are all searching
for.Consummate love is the complete form of love, representing an ideal relationship toward
which people strive. Of the seven varieties of love, consummate love is theorized to be that love
associated with the ―perfect couple.‖

12. Theories of Love: Psychologists and researchers have proposed a number of
different theories of love. Love is a basic human emotion, but understanding how and why it
happens is not necessarily easy. In fact, for a long time, many people suggested that love was
simply something that science couldn't understand. The following are of the major theories
proposed to explain liking, love, and emotional attachment:
Liking vs. Loving:
Psychologist Zick Rubin proposed that romantic love is made up of three elements: attachment,
caring and intimacy. Attachment is the need to receive care, approval and physical contact with
the other person. Caring involves valuing the other person’s needs and happiness as much as
your own. Intimacy refers to the sharing of thoughts, desires, and feelings with the other
person. Based upon this definition, Rubin devised a questionnaire to assess attitudes about
others and found that these scales of liking and loving provided support for his conception of
love. Learn more about Rubin’s Scales of Liking and Loving.
Compassionate vs. Passionate Love:
According to psychologist Elaine Hatfield and her colleagues, there are two basic types of love:
compassionate love and passionate love. Compassionate love is characterized by mutual
respect, attachment, affection and trust. Compassionate love usually develops out of feelings of
mutual understanding and shared respect for one another. Passionate love is characterized by
intense emotions, sexual attraction, anxiety and affection. When these intense emotions are
reciprocated, people feel elated and fulfilled. Unreciprocated love leads to feelings of
despondence and despair. Hatfield suggests that passionate love is transitory, usually lasting
between 6 and 30 months.
Hatfield also suggests that passionate love arises when cultural expectations encourage falling
in love, when the person meets your preconceived ideas of an ideal love, and when you
experience heightened physiological arousal in the presence of the other person.

13. Ideally, passionate love then leads to compassionate love, which is far more enduring. While
most people desire relationships that combine the security and stability of compassionate with
the intensity of passionate love, Hatfield believes that this is rare.
The Color Wheel Model of Love:
In his 1973 book The Colors of Love, John Lee compared styles of love to the color wheel. Just
as there are three primary colors, Lee suggested that there are three primary styles of love.
These three styles of love are:
(1) Eros,
(2) Ludos
(3) Storge.
Continuing the color wheel analogy, Lee proposed that just as the primary colors can be
combined to create complementary colors, these three primary styles of love could be
combined to create nine different secondary love styles. For example, a combination of Eros
and Ludos results in Mania, or obsessive love.
Lee’s 6 Styles of Loving:
Three primary styles:
1. Eros – Loving an ideal person
2. Ludos – Love as a game
3. Storge – Love as friendship
Three secondary styles:
1. Mania (Eros + Ludos) – Obsessive love
2. Pragma (Ludos + Storge) – Realistic and practical love
3. Agape (Eros + Storge) – Selfless love
Triangular Theory of Love:
Psychologist Robert Sternberg proposed a triangular theory of love that suggests that there are
three components of love: intimacy, passion and commitment. Different combinations of these
three components result in different types of love. For example, a combination of intimacy and

14. commitment results in compassionate love, while a combination of passion and intimacy leads
to passionate love.
According to Sternberg, relationships built on two or more elements are more enduring that
those based upon a single component. Sternberg uses the term consummate love to describe a
combination of intimacy, passion and commitment. While this type of love is the strongest and
most enduring, Sternberg suggests that this type of love is rare.In the context of interpersonal
relationships, "the three components of love, according to the triangular theory, are an
intimacy component, a passion component, and a decision/commitment component."
Intimacy: Which encompasses feelings of attachment, closeness, connectedness, and
bondedness.
Passion: Which encompasses drives connected to both limerence and sexual attraction.
Commitment: Which encompasses, in the short term, the decision to remain with another, and
in the long term, the shared achievements and plans made with that other.
"The amount of love one experiences depends on the absolute strength of these three
components, and the type of love one experiences depends on their strengths relative to each
other."Different stages and types of love can be explained as different combinations of these
three elements; for example, the relative emphasis of each component changes over time as an
adult romantic relationship develops. A relationship based on a single element is less likely to
survive than one based on two or three elements.
The three components, pictorially labeled on the vertices of a triangle, interact with each other
and with the actions they produce so as to form seven different kinds of love experiences
(nonlove is not represented). The size of the triangle functions to represent the "amount" of
love - the bigger the triangle, the greater the love. The shape of the triangle functions to
represent the "style" of love, which may vary over the course of the relationship:
Nonlove, Friendship, Infatuated love, Empty love, Romantic love, Companionate love,
Fatuous love, Consummate love are the types formed by the intermixing of three factors.
Interpersonal attraction:
Interpersonal attraction is the attraction between people which leads to friendships and
romantic relationships. Interpersonal attraction, the process, is distinct from perceptions of
physical attractiveness which involves views of what is and is not considered beautiful or
attractive.

15. The study of interpersonal attraction is a major area of research in social psychology.
Interpersonal attraction is related to how much we like, dislike, or hate someone. It can be
viewed as force acting between two people that tends to draw them together and resist their
separation. When measuring interpersonal attraction, one must refer to the qualities of the
attracted as well as the qualities of the attractor to achieve predictive accuracy. It is suggested
that to determine attraction, personality and situation must be taken into account. Repulsion is
also a factor in the process of interpersonal attraction, one's conception of "attraction" to
another can vary from extreme attraction to extreme repulsion.
Causes of Interpersonal attraction:
Many factors leading to interpersonal attraction have been studied, all of which involve social
reinforcement. The most frequently studied are: physical attractiveness, propinquity,
familiarity, similarity, complementarity, reciprocal liking, and reinforcement.
Propinquity effect of Interpersonal attraction:
According to Rowland Miller's Intimate Relationships text, the propinquity effect can be defined
as: "the more we see and interact with a person, the more likely he or she is to become our
friend or sexual partner." This effect is very similar to the mere exposure effect in that the more
a person is exposed to a stimulus, the more the person likes it; however, there are a few
exceptions to the mere exposure effect.
Exposure effect:
As mentioned above, the mere exposure effect, also known as the familiarity principle, states
that the more we are exposed to something, the more we come to like it. This applies equally
to both objects and people. The social allergy effect occurs when a person's annoying habits
grow worse over time, instead of growing more fond of his or her idiosyncrasies.

16. Like-attracts-like: The lookalike effect plays an important role called self-affirmation. A person
typically enjoys receiving confirmation of every aspect of his or her life, ideas, attitudes and
personal characteristics and it seems that people are looking for an image of themselves to
spend their life with. One of the basic principles of interpersonal attraction is the rule of
similarity: similarity is attractive. It is this underlying principle that applies to both friendships
and romantic relationships. There is a high correlation between the proportion of attitudes
shared, and the degree of interpersonal attraction. Cheerful people like to be around other
cheerful people and negative people would rather be around other negative people.
According to Morry’s attraction-similarity model, there is a lay belief that people with actual
similarity produce initial attraction. Perceived similarity develops for someone to rate others as
similar to themselves in on-going relationship. Such perception is either self-serving (friendship)
or relationship-serving (romantic relationship). Newcomb pointed out that people tend to
change perceived similarity to obtain balance in a relationship. Additionally, perceived similarity
was found to be greater than actual similarity in predicting interpersonal attraction. A 2004
study, based on indirect evidence, concluded that humans choose mates based partly on facial
resemblance to themselves.
Similarity in different aspects:
Findings suggest that interpersonal similarity and attraction are multidimensional constructs, in
which people are attracted to others who are similar to them in demographics, physical
appearance, attitudes, interpersonal style, social and cultural background, personality, interests
and activities preferences, and communication and social skills. A study conducted by Theodore
Newcomb on college dorm roommates suggested that individuals with shared backgrounds,
academic achievements, attitudes, values, and political views typically became friends.
Attitudes:
According to the ‘law of attraction’ by Byrne , attraction towards a person is positively related
to the proportion of attitudes similarity associated with that person. Clore also raised that the

17. one with similar attitudes as yours was more agreeable with your perception of things and
more reinforcing she/he was, so the more you like him/her. Based on the cognitive consistency
theories, difference in attitudes and interests can lead to dislike and avoidance whereas
similarity in attitudes promotes social attraction. Miller pointed out that attitude similarity
activates the perceived attractiveness and favor-ability information from each other, whereas
dissimilarity would reduce the impact of these cues.
The studies by Jamieson, Lydon and Zanna showed that attitude similarity could predict how
people evaluate their respect for each other, and social and intellectual first impressions which
in terms of activity preference similarity and value-based attitude similarity respectively. In
intergroup comparisons, high attitude similarity would lead to homogeneity among in-group
members whereas low attitude similarity would lead to diversity among in-group members,
promoting social attraction and achieving high group performance in different tasks.
Although attitudinal similarity and attraction are linearly related, attraction may not contribute
significantly to attitude change.
Personality:
Researchers have shown that interpersonal attraction was positively correlated to personality
similarity. People are inclined to desire romantic partners who are similar to themselves on
agreeableness, conscientiousness, extroversion, emotional stability, openness to experience,
and attachment style.
Interests and activities:
Activity similarity was especially predictive of liking judgments, which affects the judgments of
attraction. Lydon and Zanna claimed that high self-monitoring people were influenced more by
activity preference similarity than attitude similarity on initial attraction, while low self-
monitoring people were influenced more on initial attraction by value-based attitude similarity
than activity preference similarity.

18. Marriage:
When checking similar variables they were also seen as more similar on a number of personality
characteristics. This study found that the length of the average relationship was related to
perceptions of similarity; the couples who were together longer were seen as more equal. This
effect can be attributed to the fact that when time passes by couples become more alike
through shared experiences, or that couples that are alike stay together longer.
Reasons of spouse similarity:
Social homogamy refers to "passive, indirect effects on spousal similarity".The result showed
that age and education level are crucial in affecting the mate preference. Because people with
similar age study and interact more in the same form of the school, propinquity effect (i.e., the
tendency of people to meet and spend time with those who share the common characteristics)
plays a significant impact in spousal similarity.
Convergence refers to an increasing similarity with time. Although the previous research
showed that there is a greater effect on attitude and value than on personality traits, however,
it is found that initial assortment (i.e., similarity within couples at the beginning of marriage)
rather than convergence, plays a crucial role in explaining spousal similarity.
Active assortment refers to direct effects on choosing someone similar as self in mating
preferences. The data showed that there is a greater effect on political and religious attitudes
than on personality traits. A follow-up issue on the reason of the finding was raised. The
concepts of idiosyncratic (i.e., different individuals have different mate preferences) and
consensual (i.e., a consensus of preference on some prospective mates to others) in mate
preference. The data showed that mate preference on political and religious bases tend to be
idiosyncratic, for example, a Catholic would be more likely to choose a mate who is also a
Catholic, as opposed to a Buddhist. Such idiosyncratic preferences produce a high level of active
assortment which plays a vital role in affecting spousal similarity.

19. Effects of similarity on interpersonal attraction:
Similarity has effects on starting a relationship by initial attraction to know each other. It is
showed that high attitude similarity resulted in a significant increase in initial attraction to the
target person and high attitude dissimilarity resulted in a decrease of initial attraction.
Similarity also promotes relationship commitment. Study on heterosexual dating couples found
that similarity in intrinsic values of the couple was linked to relationship commitment and
stability.
Complementarity:
The model of complementarity explains whether "birds of a feather flock together" or
"opposites attract".
Studies show that complementary interaction between two partners increases their
attractiveness to each other. Complementary partners preferred closer interpersonal
relationship than non-complementary ones. Couples who reported the highest level of loving
and harmonious relationship were more dissimilar in dominance than couples who scored
lower in relationship quality.
Mathes and Moore found that people were more attracted to peers approximating to their
ideal self than to those who did not. Specifically, low self-esteem individuals appeared more
likely to desire a complementary relationship than high self-esteem people. We are attracted to
people who complement to us because this allows us to maintain our preferred style of
behavior, and through interaction with someone who complements our own behavior, we are
likely to have a sense of self-validation and security.
Similarity or complementarity?
Principles of similarity and complementarity seem to be contradictory on the surface. In fact,
they agree on the dimension of warmth. Both principles state that friendly people would prefer
friendly partners.

20. The importance of similarity and complementarity may depend on the stage of the relationship.
Similarity seems to carry considerable weight in initial attraction, while complementarity
assumes importance as the relationship develops over time. Markey found that people would
be more satisfied with their relationship if their partners differed from them, at least, in terms
of dominance, as two dominant persons may experience conflicts while two submissive
individuals may have frustration as neither member take the initiative.
Perception and actual behavior might not be congruent with each other. There were cases that
dominant people perceived their partners to be similarly dominant, yet in the eyes of
independent observers, the actual behavior of their partner was submissive, in other words,
complementary to them. Why do people perceive their romantic partners to be similar to them
despite evidence to the contrary? The reason remains unclear, pending further research.
Social exchange theory:
People's feelings toward a potential partner are dependent on their perception of rewards and
costs, the kind of relationships they deserve, and their likelihood for having a healthier
relationship with someone else.
Rewards are the part of a relationship that makes it worthwhile and enjoyable. A cost is
something that can cause irritation like a friend overstaying his welcome. Comparison level is
also taken into account during a relationship. This suggests that people expect rewards or costs
depending on the time invested in the relationship. If the level of expected rewards are minimal
and the level of costs is high, the relationship suffers and both parties may become dissatisfied
and unhappy. Lastly, the comparison of alternatives means that satisfaction is conditional on
the chance that a person could replace the relationship with a more desirable one.
Attraction = friendship:
Warren Kubitschek and Maureen Hallinan, social psychologists from the University Of Notre
Dame, suggested that attraction is the result of the propinquity and similarity effects and the
status of each party involved. Their study was about the tracking program that organizes

21. students according to their level of ability to learn. This is mostly implemented in middle and
almost all of high school. Their goal is to prove that students on the same track have a higher
probability of becoming friends compared to those in different tracks. Other organizational
based groupings should also follow these factors. The propinquity effect creates an ideal
environment where students are in close physical proximity with each other and have the
chance to build familiarity that leads to friendship. Similarity in tracking students is important
because they found that track students tend to become friends with others who have the same
academic achievement and expectations as themselves. They also found that students on the
same level of status concerning grades will likely name them than those who are on lower level
than their own. They conclude that although the factors mentioned do have great influence on
friendship, they are not exclusive for organized program like tracking.
Attraction = romantic relationship:
The triangular theory of love by Robert Sternberg is based on intimacy, passion, and
commitment. The strongest type of love, consummate love, consists of these three aspects. The
idea of this theory is that love can consist of one component alone or any combination of the
three parts: intimacy, passion, and commitment.
There are many factors taken into account when a relationship turns into love.
One big factor is culture. This is a common issue among two
people who come from very different cultural backgrounds. In a study done by Phillip Shavers
and his colleagues, they interviewed participants from different parts of the world and found
that love has "similar and different meanings cross-culturally. The Chinese participants had
several different love concepts such as "sorrow-love”,” tenderness-pity", and "sorrow-pity".
This ties into another study done by Rothbaym and his partner Tsang in 1998 in which they
researched popular love songs from American and Chinese artists. The difference was that the
Chinese love songs "had significantly more references to suffering and to negative outcomes

22. than the American love songs". This may be due to beliefs that interpersonal relationships are
predestined, and thus have no control over love lives.
Evolutionary theories:
The evolutionary theory of human interpersonal attraction states that opposite-sex attraction
most often occurs when someone has physical features indicating that he or she is very fertile.
Considering that one primary purpose of conjugal/romantic relationships is reproduction, it
would follow that people invest in partners who appear very fertile, increasing the chance of
their genes being passed down to the next generation. This theory has been criticized because
it does not explain relationships between same-sex couples or couples who do not want
children, although this may have something to do with the fact that whether one wants
children or not one is still subject to the evolutionary forces which produce them.
(same sex c0uples)
Another evolutionary explanation suggests that fertility in a mate is of greater importance to
men than to women. According to this theory, a woman places significant emphasis on a man's
ability to provide resources and protection. The theory suggests that these resources and
protection are important in ensuring the successful raising of the woman's offspring. The ability
to provide resources and protection might also be sought because the underlying traits are
likely to be passed on to male offspring. Critics of this theory point out that most genes are
autosomal and non-sex-linked.
Evolutionary theory also suggests that people whose physical features suggest they are healthy
are seen as more attractive. The theory suggests that a healthy mate is more likely to possess
genetic traits related to health that would be passed on to offspring. People's tendency to
consider people with facial symmetry more attractive than those with less symmetrical faces is
one example. However, a test was conducted that found that perfectly symmetrical faces were
less attractive than normal faces. According to this study, the exact ratio of symmetric to
asymmetric facial features depicting the highest attraction is still undetermined. It has also
been suggested that people are attracted to faces similar to their own. Case studies have
revealed that when a photograph of a woman was superimposed to include the features of a
man's face, the man whose face was superimposed almost always rated that picture the most

23. attractive. This theory is based upon the notion that we want to replicate our own features in
the next generation, as we have survived thus far with such features and have instinctive
survival wishes for our children. Another (non-evolutionary) explanation given for the results of
that study was that the man whose face was superimposed may have consciously or
subconsciously associated the photographically altered female face with the face of his mother
or other family member.
Increased female attraction to men in relationships:
A study by Melissa Burkley and Jessica Parker of Oklahoma State University found that 59% of
women tested were interested in pursuing a relationship with an "ideal" single man (who was,
unknown to the women, fictitious). When they believed the "ideal" man already was in a
romantic relationship, 90% of the women were interested in a romantic relationship.
Relationship breakup:
Relationship breakup is the ending of a relationship whether it's a friendship or romantic
relationship. There are several reasons that a relationship may come to an end. One reason
derives from the equity theory. If a person in the relationship feels that the personal costs of
being in the relationship outweigh the rewards there is a strong chance that he/she will end the
relationship. Break ups may also occur when the rewards outweigh costs due to guilt and
shame.
(Break ups :-).

24. RELATIONSHIPS:
Definition of RELATIONSHIP:
1: the state of being related or interrelated <studied the relationship between the variables>
2: the relation connecting or binding participants in a relationship: as kinship or a specific
instance or type of kinship.
3: a state of affairs existing between those having relations or dealings <had a good relationship
with his family>.
Or a romantic or passionate attachment.
Examples of RELATIONSHIP:
She has a close relationship with her sister.
Interpersonal relationship:
Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or
more people.
They vary in differing levels of intimacy and sharing, implying the discovery or establishment of
common ground, and may be centered on something(s) shared in common.

25. Explanation of Interpersonal Relationships:
An interpersonal relationship is an association between two or more people that may range
from fleeting to enduring. This association may be based on inference, love, solidarity, regular
business interactions, or some other type of social commitment. Interpersonal relationships are
formed in the context of social, cultural and other influences. The context can vary from family
or kinship relations, friendship, and marriage, relations with associates, work, clubs,
neighborhoods, and places of worship. They may be regulated by law, custom, or mutual
agreement, and are the basis of social groups and society as a whole.
A relationship is normally viewed as a connection between two individuals, such as a romantic
or intimate relationship, or a parent–child relationship. Individuals can also have relationships
with groups of people, such as the relation between a pastor and his congregation, an uncle
and a family, or a mayor and a town. Finally, groups or even nations may have relations with
each other, though this is a much broader domain than that covered under the topic of
interpersonal relationships. See such articles as international relations for more information on
associations between groups. Most scholarly work on relationships focuses on the small subset
of interpersonal relationships involving romantic partners in pairs or dyads.
Interpersonal relationships usually involve some level of interdependence. People in a
relationship tend to influence each other, share their thoughts and feelings, and engage in
activities together. Because of this interdependence, most things that change or impact one
member of the relationship will have some level of impact on the other member. The study of
interpersonal relationships involves several branches of the social sciences, including such
disciplines as sociology, psychology, anthropology, and social work. The scientific study of
relationships is referred to as relationship science and distinguishes itself from anecdotal
evidence or pseudo-experts by basing conclusions on data and objective analysis. Interpersonal
ties are also a subject in mathematical sociology.
The study of relationships is of concern to sociology, psychology and anthropology.
Interpersonal relationships are social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or
more people. There are different levels of intimacy and sharing concerning centered around
something(s) shared in common. The study of relationships is of concern to sociology,
psychology and anthropology.
Types of interpersonal relationships:
Kinship relationships, including family relationships, being related to someone else by
blood (consanguinity). For example, there is fatherhood or motherhood. Kinship

26. relationships can also be made through marriage. For example, there are father-in-laws,
mother-in-laws, uncles by marriage, or aunts by marriage.
Formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships through law and public
ceremony, e.g. marriage and civil union.
Non-formalized intimate relationships or long term relationships such as loving
relationships or romantic relationships with or without living together; the other person
is often called lover, boyfriend or girlfriend (not to be confused with just a male or
female friend). If the partners live together, the relationship may be similar to marriage,
and the other person may be called husband or wife. In Scottish law they are so
regarded by common law after a time. Long term relationships in other countries are
often called common law marriages, what is not quite correct as they have no special
status in law. Mistress is a somewhat old fashioned term for a female lover of a man
who is married to another woman, or of an unmarried man. She may even be an official
mistress (in French maîtresse en titre); an example is Madame de Pompadour.
Soulmates, individuals who are intimately drawn to one another through a favorable
meeting of the minds and who find mutual acceptance and understanding with one

27. another. Soulmates may feel themselves bonded together for a lifetime; and may be
sexual partners but not necessarily.
Casual relationships, relationships extending beyond one night stands that exclusively
consist of sexual behavior, the participants of which may be known as friends with
benefits when limited to considering sexual intercourse or sexual partners in a wider
sense. Levels. Appearance. Similarity.
proximity.competency.complementarity.recipricity. disclosure
Friendship, which consists of mutual love, trust, respect, and unconditional acceptance,
and usually means that there is common ground between the individuals involved; see
also internet friendship and pen pal.
Brotherhood and sisterhood, individuals united in a common cause or having a
common interest, which may involve formal membership in a club, organization,
association, society, lodge, fraternity or sorority. This type of interpersonal relationship
also includes the comradeship of fellow soldiers in peace or war.
Partners or coworkers in a profession, business, or a common workplace.
Participation in a community, for example, a community of interest or practice.
Association, simply being introduced to someone or knowing who they are by
interaction.

28. Development of Interpersonal Relationships:
Interpersonal relationships are dynamic systems that change continuously during their
existence. Like living organisms, relationships have a beginning, a lifespan, and an end. They
tend to grow and improve gradually, as people get to know each other and become closer
emotionally, or they gradually deteriorate as people drift apart, move on with their lives and
form new relationships with others. One of the most influential models of relationship
development was proposed by psychologist George Levinger. This model was formulated to
describe heterosexual, adult romantic relationships, but it has been applied to other kinds of
interpersonal relations as well. According to the model, the natural development of a
relationship follows five stages:
Acquaintance – Becoming acquainted depends on previous relationships, physical
proximity, first impressions, and a variety of other factors. If two people begin to like
each other, continued interactions may lead to the next stage, but acquaintance can
continue indefinitely.
Buildup – During this stage, people begin to trust and care about each other. The need
for intimacy, compatibility and such filtering agents as common background and goals
will influence whether or not interaction continues.
Continuation – This stage follows a mutual commitment to a long-term friendship,
romantic relationship, or marriage. It is generally a long, relative stable period.
Nevertheless, continued growth and development will occur during this time. Mutual
trust is important for sustaining the relationship.

29. Deterioration – Not all relationships deteriorate, but those that do tend to show signs of
trouble. Boredom, resentment, and dissatisfaction may occur, and individuals may
communicate less and avoid self-disclosure. Loss of trust and betrayals may take place
as the downward spiral continues, eventually ending the relationship. (Alternately, the
participants may find some way to resolve the problems and reestablish trust.)
Termination – The final stage marks the end of the relationship, either by death in the
case of a healthy relationship, or by separation.
Friendships may involve some degree of transitivity. In other words, a person may
become a friend of an existing friend's friend. However, if two people have a sexual
relationship with the same person, they may become competitors rather than friends.
Accordingly, sexual behavior with the sexual partner of a friend may damage the
friendship. Sexual activities between two friends tend to alter that relationship, either
by "taking it to the next level" or by severing it.
Adult attachment:
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation of secure attachments. Adult attachment
models represent an internal set of expectations and preferences regarding relationship
intimacy that guide behavior. Secure adult attachment, characterized by low attachment-
related avoidance and anxiety, has numerous benefits. Within the context of safe, secure
attachments, people can pursue optimal human functioning and flourishing.
Love:
The capacity for love gives depth to human relationships, brings people closer to each other
physically and emotionally, and makes people think expansively about themselves and the
world. In his triangular theory of love, psychologist Robert Sternberg theorizes that love is a mix
of three components: some
(1) Passion, or physical attraction;
(2) Intimacy, or feelings of closeness; and

30. (3) Commitment, involving the decision to initiate and sustain a relationship. The presence of all
three components characterizes consummate love, the most durable type of love. In addition,
the presence of intimacy and passion in marital relationships predicts marital satisfaction. Also,
commitment is the best predictor of relationship satisfaction, especially in long-term
relationships. Positive consequences of being in love include increased self-esteem and self-
efficacy.
Theories of Interpersonal Relationships:
Confucianism: Confucianism is a study and theory of relationships especially within
hierarchies. Social harmony — the central goal of Confucianism — results in part from
every individual knowing his or her place in the social order, and playing his or her part
well. Particular duties arise from each person's particular situation in relation to others.
The individual stands simultaneously in several different relationships with different
people: as a junior in relation to parents and elders, and as a senior in relation to
younger siblings, students, and others. Juniors are considered in Confucianism to owe
their seniors reverence and seniors have duties of benevolence and concern toward
juniors. A focus on mutuality is prevalent in East Asian cultures to this day.
Minding relationships: The mindfulness theory of relationships shows how closeness in
relationships may be enhanced. Minding is the "reciprocal knowing process involving
the nonstop, interrelated thoughts, feelings, and behaviors of persons in a
relationship."Five components of "minding" include:
1. Knowing and being known: seeking to understand the partner
2. Making relationship-enhancing attributions for behaviors: giving the benefit of
the doubt
3. Accepting and respecting: empathy and social skills
4. Maintaining reciprocity: active participation in relationship enhancement
5. Continuity in minding: persisting in mindfulness
Culture of appreciation: This section needs additional citations for verification. Please
help improve this article by adding citations to reliable sources. Unsourced material may
be challenged and removed.
Capitalizing on positive events: People can capitalize on positive events in an
interpersonal context to work toward flourishing relationships. People often turn to
others to share their good news (termed "capitalization"). Studies show that both the
act of telling others about good events and the response of the person with whom the
event was shared have personal and interpersonal consequences, including increased
positive emotions, subjective well-being, and self-esteem, and relationship benefits
including intimacy, commitment, trust, liking, closeness, and stability. Studies show that

31. the act of communicating positive events was associated with increased positive affect
and well-being. Other studies have found that relationships in which partners
responded to "good news" communication enthusiastically were associated with higher
relationship well-being.
INTRAPERSONAL INTELLIGENCE:
Intrapersonal intelligence begins to emerge at a very early age and continues to grow
throughout life. Although your learning potential changes through the years, you must
nonetheless employ the same core intrapersonal skills in the ongoing integration of your life
experiences. This integration is greatly enhanced by your growth in the other intelligences. Your
growth in spirituality gives you a larger context in which to situate your life experiences; growth
in language skills equips you with new words for identifying, defining, and shaping your
experiences. As you grow in your own self-understanding, your relationships with others
change, too. In fact, without a healthy growth in intrapersonal skills, it will be impossible to
enjoy interpersonal relationships.
1. NAME FEELINGS:
You could begin your examination of intrapersonal skills in a number of places: your dreams,
hopes, self-perceptions, and so forth. Emotional awareness will be the starting point here
because how you feel about yourself and life is a never-ending human preoccupation. Seldom
do you persist in doing things that make you feel bad if you can help it. To the contrary, you
generally pursue activities and relationships that make you feel better.
Another reason for beginning with emotional awareness is because feelings reveal the meaning
of the events of life. Think about that for a moment. When people tell you they're sad, what's
the first question that comes to your mind? You want to know why they're sad, of course.
Feelings are like spiritual barometers, or windows into the soul. By becoming aware of your
feelings you can then begin to examine the underlying perceptions and beliefs which give rise
to them.
Connecting emotionally with others presupposes your ability to manage your own emotional
life. The most obvious reason so many relationships fail today is because people quit feeling
close and affectionate toward one another. You would not want to stay in a relationship where
you feel almost nothing positive, or maybe a whole lot of negatives, or, most tragically, maybe
nothing at all. It is true that affectionate feelings do not constitute the essence of love, but they
do help to keep things going. If you don't frequently feel warm and close toward another
person, then maybe there is no love at all. Although you can do almost nothing about the
emotional life of others, you do have much control on your side of the relationship. Sometimes

32. the changes you make for yourself will provide the stimulus needed to rejuvenate an arid
relationship.
KINDS OF FEELINGS:
There are four major groups of feelings: glad, sad, mad, and scared. Within each group are
various shades of feelings. For example, within the "mad" category, anger, aggravation,
indignation, fury, rage, and hatred can be identified. These are all mad feelings, but they
describe very different experiences. Glad feelings include such states as joy, pleasure, comfort,
elation, euphoria, and satisfaction. These, too, describe different experiences. Emotional
awareness calls for becoming more conscious of the subtle shades of feelings that accompany
your life experiences.
Although you use relationships to meet most of your needs, the focus in this section is on the
manner in which relationships help you to meet your emotional needs. These needs have been
mentioned several times throughout this work. They include acceptance, affirmation, approval,
security, belonging, and intimacy. You can accord to yourself a certain amount of acceptance,
affirmation, approval, and security; but it is much better if you are doing this with others, too. It
is impossible, however, to experience belonging and intimacy in isolation. By growing in
interpersonal intelligence, you learn how to connect yourself with others so as to experience a
heightened sense of belonging and intimacy. Learning how to do this may well be your most
urgent need in today's world.
TYPES OF PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS:
There are four types of personal relationships: parallel independent, co-dependent-counter
dependent, enmeshed, and interdependent. It is possible to experience all of the four types at
different times in life; but most relationships generally assume only one of these four patterns.
1. A parallel independent relationship exists when two basically whole people abide with
each other but do not share very much on an emotional level. Examples of this would be
two healthy people living together merely for financial reasons. Two marriage partners
fully involved in careers might also drift into this pattern. While this coexistence may be
peaceful, it does not meet the needs for belonging and intimacy.
2. Much more common is the co-dependent-counterdependent relationship. Here, one
person (call her Jane) is co-dependent on another person (call him Tom), who is rigidly
anti-dependent. Tom has a sense of boundaries and independence in this relationship,
but Jane does not. She defines her health in relationship to Tom; if he's OK, she's OK; if
he's angry, she's angry. If Jane and Tom were to divorce, Jane would be left with a
gaping emotional wound which, typically, she would try to fill with another relationship

33. or through compulsive activities like excessive eating, drinking, working, or inordinate
use of sex. Typically in these relationships, Tom would be involved in an addiction of
some kind and would be using Jane to support this addiction; her support of his
addiction is called "enabling" in the field of chemical dependency. To stay in this
relationship, Jane focuses on Tom's behavior, gives up her own enjoyments, and loses
herself in the process.
3. Enmeshed relationships happen when two people focus so intensely on each other that
they lose a sense of boundaries. This happens when two co-dependents join together. It
also occurs in dysfunctional families where each person is emotionally affected by the
other. In these relationships, people experience emotional connectedness; they often
talk about how close they really are. However, this is only a negative intimacy because
there are no boundaries between the two people. There is also no emotional freedom;
what one feels, the other feels. Consequently, people in these relationships are unable
to truly love one another because they all get caught up in each other's emotional
problems.
4. Interdependent relationships happen when two healthy people come together freely to
share emotional energy (pleasant or unpleasant) with each other. There is both
separateness and togetherness in this relationship. If one is angry, the other is free to
listen and acknowledge these feelings without getting angry, too. Their love comes out
of strength, not an addictive need to find completion in each other. This is the most
satisfying form of relationship, for in it you can meet your emotional needs without
losing yourself.
LEVELS OF RELATIONSHIPS:
There are four different levels of relationships. First in importance is the level of those people
with whom you share your life most intensely, that is, your family and closest friends. Secondly,
there are those with whom you share much of yourself during the course of work and play --
friends, co-workers. and extended family members. A third level would include people you
know and encounter occasionally, but for a superficial kind of interaction. Finally, there are
those whom you do not know and do not relate with in any significant kind of personal
interaction. In the course of time, people move in and out of all four levels: superficial
acquaintances become good friends; co-workers move away and communication ceases.
People in first- and second-level relationships have a profound influence upon one another. It
is in such relationships that your needs for intimacy are met. Third and fourth level
relationships are also important, but they do not affect you as deeply. If you are criticized by a
complete stranger, you may tell him or her where to get off and think of it no longer. But
criticism from a person you rub shoulders with daily is another matter altogether. As you live

34. and interact with people in first- and second-level relationships, you are constantly
communicating to one another an evaluation of both personhood and behavior. Like mirrors.
You reflect back to one another a wide range of evaluations.
Family Relationships:
Family relationships are an important part of our lives, from birth of children, to weddings, to
our old age. However, learning to get along with everyone is sometimes a challenge. Listen to
the words below and consult a dictionary if you need a definition. Write a sample sentence for
each word to learn how it is used in context. You can use the Internet to find such sentences
and related information.
Brother, Cousin, Family, Father, Father-in-law, Fiancée, Girlfriend, Grandparents, Husband,
Mother, Nephew, Niece, Sister, Twin, Wife.
e.g Mother and son’s relationship:
E.g Father and Daughter’s Relationship:

35. Friendship Relations:
An anonymous writer put it this way: "Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch.
Sometimes they hold you up and sometimes they lean on you. Sometimes it's just enough to
know they're standing by." Writer Elisabeth Foley points out that friendship doubles your joy
and divides your grief, and that the most beautiful discovery that true friends make is that they
can grow separately without growing apart.
Easily the most important place to have a friend is in marriage. For that reason, marriage
counselors continually advise husbands and wives to be friends, pointing out that you may
divorce your spouse, but you don't divorce your friend.
Friendship stabilizes relationships in the business and social worlds as well. A friendship is
priceless and should be cherished, cultivated, and nurtured.
Without a doubt, the greatest human relations principle is to treat other people like you want
to be treated. Friendship requires many qualities — unselfishness, genuine care for the other
person, and the ability to listen when the other person needs to talk, to name a few. When you
show respect for your friends and gratitude for their friendship, you'll be blessed in untold
ways.

36. Sometimes just being there — particularly in times of grief — can make a difference. Not
knowing what to say doesn't matter; your presence speaks volumes and says everything that
needs to be said. People need to share their grief and love to share their joy. If friends were
there only for those two occasions, they would still be invaluable.
Concluding Paragraph:
Our life is completely dependent on love. No relationship can maintain without the intermixing
of love in it. Allah Almighty sends humans on earth with emotions and love relations. For the
progress of each relationship it has to surrender the love. So if we say that love is everything so
it will be nothing just a solid reality.
References:
S.Halonen,Jane and W.Santrock , Jhon.1998.Psychology Contexts Of Behaviour.
Published by Edger J.Laube.2nd edition.Pp:256-270.
Hayas, Nicky.2002.Foundations Of Psychology. Published by Thomas Nelson.3rd
edition.Pp:170-177.
S.Feldman,Robert.2011. Understanding Psychology.10th edition .Pp: 604-608.
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