1. Method for Dealing with Mutant Squid Attacks
Game Time: Aug 6, 1949 5:15 am
For attacks to be thwarted, once must understand the attacker.
Mutant Squid Overview
Mutant Squid are cephalopods. They have eyes on each side of their head, which contain a hard lens,
which can be moved to focus on different objects. They have a sharp beak.
The main body is enclosed in a mantle with a swimming fin along each side. At the front of the mantle
cavity, there is a siphon, which is used to provide propusion. The fins are used for steering, rather than
propulsion. The mutant squid’s skin is covered in chromatophores, which enable the mutant squid to
camouflage itself.
Mutant squid are intelligent and have a giant axon, which is used to control the siphon and other critical
functions. Mutant squid can communicate with each other and may work in teams to coordinate
attacks against prey.
Under the body are openings to the mantle cavity, which contains the gills (for breathing) and openings
for the reproductive system and excretory system. Females have ink sacs, males do not.

2. Mutant squid have three hearts to pump blood to various systems.
Mutant squid have a total of ten arms, four pairs of shorter arms and two longer tentacles,
Mutant squid have complex digestive systems, which feature a stomach, caecum, and liver which are
used to process food. Solid waste is discharged via its rectum. Mutant squid are immune to most algal
poisons.
Mutant squid can be up to 50 feet long and pose a serious threat to any craft on the high seas.
Method for Attacking and Killing Mutant Squids
1. Prepare the Bait
a. Mutant Squid love Johnny Walker. So the first thing one must do is create a food stuff
for the squid to consume. One does this by mashing up one’s Jaffa Cakes and Twiglets
along with a a full bottle of Johnny Walker. One should also add fish, which squid feed
on.

3. 2. Prepare a Large Scale Fishing Line.
a. Assemble a heavy duty fishing pole by using copper cable, a hook, and an inverted
leather flying helmet to hold the food and liquor outlined in step 1.
3. Catch and Kill the Mutant Squid
a. The mutant squid will be lured by the Johnny Walker to consume the bait.
b. Once the squid has consumed the bait. The hook should be pulled sharply upwards,
which will pierce the mutant squid’s brain, killing it.

4. c. Pull the Dead Mutant Squid on Board
4. Dispose of the Mutant Squid.
a. Once on board, the mutant squid should be chopped with a hacksaw blade.
b. The mutant squid parts should then be fed to the Giant Piranha Fish, who will find the
Mutant Squid Delicious.