2. Agenda: In-Class Writing:
Writing Workshop: Editing
You should have one clean copy of
your revised draft.
Revision Strategies
Eliminating passive voice
4. EliminatingPassiveVoice
• A passive construction occurs when you make the object of an action
into the subject of a sentence. That is, whoever or whatever is
performing the action is not the grammatical subject of the sentence.
Take a look at this passive rephrasing of a familiar joke:
• Why was the road crossed by the chicken?
5. Why was the road crossed by the chicken?
• Who is doing the action in this sentence? The
chicken is the one doing the action in this
sentence, but the chicken is not in the spot where
you would expect the grammatical subject to be.
Instead, the road is the grammatical subject. The
more familiar phrasing (why did the chicken cross
the road?) puts the actor in the subject position, the
position of doing something—the chicken (the
actor/doer) crosses the road (the object). We use
active verbs to represent that "doing," whether it be
crossing roads, proposing ideas, making
arguments, or invading houses.
6. • Once you know what to look for, passive
constructions are easy to spot. Look for a form
of "to be” (is, are, am , was, were, has been,
have been, had been, will be, will have been,
being), followed by a past participle or a verb
in the progressive tense.
It was determined
We were invited
She was running
He is singing
7. Past Participle/Progressive Tense
The past participle is a form of the verb that
typically, but not always, ends in "-ed." Some
exceptions to the "-ed" rule are words like
"paid" (not "payed") and "driven." (not
"drived").
A progressive verb ends in “ing”:
running, singing, dancing.
8. Canyou rewritethese in the activevoice?
• The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's fiery
breath.
• When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think of
ways to delay her remarriage.
9. How to change passive constructions into active ones:
• Switch the word order, making the actor and subject
one by putting the actor up front:
• “The metropolis has been scorched by the dragon's
fiery breath” becomes
• The dragon scorched the metropolis with his fiery
breath.
• “When her house was invaded, Penelope had to think
of ways to delay her remarriage” becomes
• After suitors invaded her house, Penelope had to
think of ways to delay her remarriage.
10. Changea “to be” verb and a progressivetenseverb into
the activevoice when possible.
• I was singing while she did the dishes.
• I sang while she did the dishes.
• I was running from the monster.
• I ran from the monster.
• I was dancing all night long.
• I danced all night long.
11. Practice
• It was located in the typical, newly built high school
that favored its athletic department due to all the banners
that were hung up on the walls.
• There were eight blue tables, which were always dirty, lined
up in the patio.
• The air was filled with the competitive spirit as our rival
school had come to our town to play basketball.
• The San Marino High School Gym was filled with incessant
cheering, and the bleachers were filled from side to side.
• There were posters and banners across every wall, and they
made the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.
12. • It was located in the typical, newly built high
school that favored its athletic department due
to all the banners that were hung up on the
walls.
• The newly built high school, which housed the
event, favored its athletic department; colorful
banners decorated virtually every wall of the
gym.
• There were eight blue tables, which were always
dirty, lined up in the patio.
• Eight perpetually-dirty, blue tables lined the
patio.
•
13. • The air was filled with the competitive spirit as our rival
school had come to our town to play basketball.
• The sounds of competitive spirit filled the air; our rival
school had come to our town to play basketball.
• The San Marino High School Gym was filled with incessant
cheering, and the bleachers were filled from side to side.
• Incessant cheering filled the San Marino High School Gym;
students crowded into the bleachers.
• There were posters and banners across every wall, and they
made the gym look like an art gallery made of paper.
• Posters and banners hung from every wall, making the gym
look like an art gallery made of paper.
14. Get out a copy of your draft
• Eliminate passive voice in your
essay: Look for a form of "to
be” (is, are, am
, was, were, has been, have
been, had been, will be, will
have been, being) followed by a
past participle (a verb ending in
“ed” or “en”).
• It was eaten by John: John ate it.
• Also, look for “to be” verbs
followed by progressive verb
forms (verbs ending in “ing”)
• Mary was singing: Mary sang.
15. Homework
Post #34: Provide ten examples of
how you eliminated the passive
voice and “to be” verbs in essay #3.
Write both the old and new versions
of the sentence.
