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My Radha
                (a unique guide to the crooked art of intimate devotion)

Who is Radha? Radha is the Queen of Love. She is the consort of Krishna. The King of Love.
Both exist in a world beyond the senses yet a world which is Absolutely sensual. They are the
personifications of the paradox of love itself which ultimately takes over your life and leads
you into its secret cavern as the heart gives in to its sweetness.

My Radha is about my Radha. A subjective perception of the Object of Love for all fortunate
seekers of it. It is a philosophical journey into a world beyond philosophy. A logical look at
what lies beyond logic. An emotional portrayal of a relationship which supercedes time
itself.




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Contents

Part 1 – Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva – the inconceivable simultaneous oneness and
difference of the Absolute Truth.

Part 2 – Atma – the soul

Part 3 – Karma – action and reaction

Part 4 – Veda – knowledge

Part 5 – Yoga – unification

Part 6 – Sadhya – the goal

Part 7 – Sadhana - the practice

Part 8 – Sraddha – trust

Part 9 – Guru – the teacher

Part 10 – Vraja – the spiritual land

Part 11 – Tapasya – austerity for spiritual development

Part 12 – Svarupa-siddhi-bhakti – intrinsic devotion

Part 13 – Vaidhi bhakti – religious devotion

Part 14 – Raganuga – natural devotion

Part 15 – Dharma – duty

Part 16 – Elevation of consciousness

Part 17 – My conscious evolution

Part 18 – Avadhuta – spiritual freedom

Part 19 – Sahajiya – reflective devotion

Part 20 – Family life




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Part 1

Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva – the inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference of the
Absolute truth.

Before one finds one seeks. Everyone is looking it seems for something. Animals must
curiously look on as humans run around in search for the elusive. People find all sorts of
replacements for what they are really looking for. Sex, fame, money, security, family. But
they don’t satisfy. Not continually.

What really satisfies and leaves all other acquisitions seeming worthless is love. Yet our
experiences of love are mixed with our own selfishness and others’ selfishness and therefore
do not fulfill the dream of eternality.

Eternal love is possible however when one comes to understand the nature of the self and
the creator of the self, and the love between the two. To understand love is to understand
more than the self and the creator of the self. İt is to understand the paradox of the
universe. How everything can be one yet different.

Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva.

This is Sanskrit. I will introduce you to some Sanskrit words, definitions and explanations
along the way. Firstly a definition of the Absolute Truth; tattva.

The inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference of the Absolute Truth. İt is worth
forever baring in mind that love is inconceivable with mere logic which means it must be
experienced to be understood, which in turn means that you have to dive in. You cannot be
the judge from the outside, you cannot be a reporter or observer. You must dive in! İt is
inconceivable otherwise because it is objective and simultaneously subjective. The truth is
not only the same for everyone, it is unique to everyone.

We are not seeking the created, we are seeking the source of creation, and more, a loving
relationship with that source. And that source is free. İt may contradict you as soon as you
feel like you can put your finger on it. Yet it never contradicts itself for from the outset it is
defined as a contradiction. And therefore it is free, unlimited.

And therefore you will be free when you understand this paradoxical nature of reality.

Because we have always sought the created we transpose our efforts to the real endeavour
and make mistakes in conclusions due to mistakes made in the beginning. The seed of
philosophical misconclusions leads then to the fruit of incorrect assumptions, actions and
ultimately it will lead to imprisonment in a dimesion created for and by prisoners. I have
seen it many times. People assume something about you because they look at you through
the lens of their tinted philosphies. İnevitably you appear tinted …and tainted! İn fact this is



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happening constantly with everyone all over the world. And it is why we cannot get together
and stay together to create peace and love despite wanting just that.

Not many people can see straight. With unbiased vision. People attached to some doctrine
or averse to some belief system make incorrect assumptions on premises which are not their
own, and not absolutely correct. While this is happening those with greedy intentions rule
the planet by deceit and corruption. Right before our eyes the lies go unnoticed and when
they are noticed there is nothing ‘we’ can do because ‘we’ cannot get together and stay
together in the name of love.

İn these times there is much said about government conspiracies. You don’t need to be
Sherlock Homes to realize that most of them are true. The details and the depth of the
rabbit hole are debatable but for sure society and its imposed game of monopoly is not
breeding a culture of compassion. İt is difficult to change the trend as the thrones of this
world are occupied by dictators with agendas other than peace and love and they are not
going to be given up in a way which good people would like. The rulers of this society rule by
indoctrinating the people with incorrect philosophies knowing that these seeds will reep the
fruits of separation between brothers.

Ignorance leads to our enslavement and our unhappiness. Knowledge leads us out of
ignorance into light and beyond, into relationship with the source of light. Once you are on
the path of real knowledge you are on an incredible journey home. Once many people unite
on that path then a culture emerges and naturally, yet with great effort, the new culture
entices souls into it so that each soul has a world conducive for love.

Knowledge can change the world. But for the forest to thrive each tree needs to understand
itself.

Part 2

Atma – the soul

What or who are we? We have to know.

 We are soul. Atma. Jiva. The Vedic scriptures describe the atma (soul) as a substance which
is one sixteen thousandth the width of a hair follicle. And if you do ever manage to make a
microscope which can see that small then know too that it is not visible to the eye.

So. Don’t bother. İnstead try and understand the characteristics of the atma. What makes a
soul a soul. Till the qualities and uses of a thing is known there is no importance in its shape
or size. A bottle is not a bottle till you use it as one. Otherwise it is atoms. As everything is.

Of course, there are philosophers and philosophies which revere this knowledge. Everything
is atoms. Everything is Brahman. Everything just is. And when you put a definition on it you



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are making a mistake. When you add your ego and bring in subjectivity you are making the
mistake of duality.

We are one. Brahman. İt is true. And now let us proceed to lesson two. Osho interestingly,
after speaking much about Buddhism, said about Vaishnavism, ‘where Buddha ends Krishna
begins.’ Meaning ‘where freedom ends love begins.’ Love is the play upon the stage of
freedom. We must understand freedom. That we are one. That we are non-different. And
then the play can commence. So immediately we move to the subjective, and without
denying it, we understand it and how it is used to provide constant happiness.

The atma is an experiencer. İt is life-force itself. İndividualized life-force. Non-individualized
life-force is called Brahman. That is the goal of some spiritual seekers. But the experience of
nirvana is just that …‘an’ experience. One of many. I have experienced it. İn meditation one
day after some penance (I fasted for 15 days), I merged with everything. I saw myself from
outside of myself. İt was freedom. And then I came back and returned to a simple soul
desiring love. Once you desire love not even nirvana can you attract you away from it!

İndividualized life-forces we are. Life-forces with a purpose. To unite. İn love. Not
objectively, but subjectively. We do not need to blend completely to experience our highest
potential. We may remain individual. İf our highest experience would require merger then it
would be considered the highest goal of mankind. But higher is the goal of love. That is to
merge and remain individual at the same time through the means of love. That is the greater
experience and thus is the greater goal. THE greatest goal.

Life-forces are forces of life. There is no death to life. You cannot die. The atma is continually
existing in some state or other. This knowledge is experiencable. Knowledge is an
experience because the truth is objective and subjective, so the answer to the question ‘how
do you’ is ‘I know because I know’. There is no prof you can give because two souls
exchanging information are on different platforms and may be unable to perceive the same
state of reality. İt is very important. Proof is an experience and belongs to the subjective
realm and knowledge is an attainment of the soul and not the intellect or mind. Knowlecge is
not mere information therefore to know you have to dive in. You have to be ready to let go
of the misconceptions. And you have to understand that proof is in the heart of the
beholder.

This is soul science. You exist. You have always and will always. Understanding this will leave
you feeling…. Eternal. Understanding and feeling will become the same when you
understand the Absolute.

No-one has ever died. No-one will ever die. İt is impossible.

So there are two considerations. Eternity or death.

İf you understand eternity then you have no fear of death.


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İf you believe you will die then you may have fear of death.. but you shouldn’t. Because if it
were the case, then you would be no more, and being no more you are not going to have a
bad experience. So chill out.

Truth is. People are not chilled out because though they may believe they will die, they feel
the impulse to live which is naturally there in the soul. Because it does live. İt is only the
ignorance which causes the stress. And ignorance is dispelled by knowledge.

There is no end. You will never experience it. There have been many people who ‘died’ and
returned to say, ‘I didn’t die.’ There are many been people who remember life before their
birth. No-one is ever really born. We are always ‘here’, present as existing life-forces. And it
is always now.

Part 3

Karma – action and reaction

So what is this life. This body. This movie.

İt is just that. A movie. İn which you are the lead actor or actress, according to which body
you have ‘this time’ acquired.

Life after life you live, transmigrating through species after species, body after body. Leaving
one body you adopt another. İt is not you. İt is an adopted body (mind and intelligence)
which will not continue in its form for long. İt will be eaten by worms, and decayed by
bacteria or burned by fire. And you will move on into your next body.

There is no doubt that this is how it is. Not in me or anyone else who can see clearly. And
there are many who can see at least this far. However, we live in a world where people do
not know this. İt is not accepted fact. Only maybe in İndia. Although İndia is not a place right
now where you can point your finger to give an example of prosperity, there is something in
the eyes and hence in the hearts of the İndian people which is obviously settled. This very
detectable contentment is due to correct understanding of the self as atma, eternal soul.

Re-incarnation.

Here we are. Here is the movement upon the immovable self. How it happens is not so
difficult to understand. Everyone can conceive of a soul leaving the body, being in a state of
separation from body, and then entering a body. Leaving and entering we are able to
observe. İnbetween is more mysterious but not so important to understand as it is not
something you can do much about. What is important is to know why it happens how it
happens.

Why it happens like it happens is the question. Why this body? Why not that one? What
creates the body, mind, intelligence and movie that we sense, feel and experience?


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Good question!

Answer – you do!

You are the mini-director of your mini-movie. Only you have forgotten this fact and
therefore you feel like the movie is just happening to you without any influence by you. You
are out of control it seems. And if it seems like that then it is like that. But you can take
control. And this is the wisest of wise advice. Take control.

To take control you first have to understand the initial fact that what is happening is the
consequence of you – of your actions. And also your desire.

Karma. Your actions are creating reactions. İt is very simple science. As you sew so shall you
reap. İt is not a hidden philsosophy or one that our teachers have not taught. The whole of
our religious information is there to encourage you to act in a way that will bring you a good
life. Religion in its essence is there to inspire you to behave in a suitable way so that you can
reap the benefits of that. Because that is how you direct your movie.

İt is no use belonging to a religion and not understanding this. There is nothing to belong to.
Religion is an idea. You cannot belong to an idea. You can be inspired by that idea. That is
useful. İt may be that religions have become businesses down the years and popes and
bishops and sadhus and gurus have made money from your willingness to belong to their
group. But that is your fault. Not the fault of religion. Similarly if you reject the inspiration
given by the sources of these religions to behave beneficially because of the fact that these
religions have been corrupted then you will fall into another category of belonging which
also will not help you. You will consider yourself non-religious. And remain as ignorant as the
one belonging to a religion but not understanding its encouragement.

These days the atheists are more religious than the religious too, adhering to doctrines and
philosophies propounded by people who are anti-establishment.

As bodies, so too establishments will inevitably crumble in time. But the message will linger
forever. Knowers of truth therefore are never sentimentally attached to establishments or
religions of this world though they may create and utilize them for gathering people thirsty
for education. Essence will continue and form will come and go. The esence is the message
that you ought to act in such a way that your present and your future will be fortunate.

Fortune and misfortune are your creations. You are creating your problems. And therefore
you can create your solutions. No-one can stop you. Satan cannot stop you. The illuminati
cannot stop you. Not even death can stop you. Because you will continue where you left off
in the next life. The spiritual path continues where you left off.

But if you are not even on that path you will be under the cosh of your karma. No doubt. You
are playing tennis with yourself against a brick wall and smacking the ball as hard as you can
and then wondering why the ball is coming back so fast. The difference between the happy

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people you see in this world and the unhappy is the happy people are watching their ball
head towards the wall and the unhappy people are watching their ball return from it. That is
all. Don’t think the greedy will be smiling for long. As they sew they will reap. Maybe not in
this lifetime but in the next or the one after that.

As we are eternal so is our karma. We have accrued a whole mass of it and it waits its day to
come to you so that you may prepare a backhand, forehand or smash. İt doesn’t necessarily
appear immediately and this throws everyone out. Because ‘how do bad people succeed and
good people fail?’ Actually bad people never succeed and good people never fail but you
have to know that there is only one thing worthy of success. And that is love. Which delivers
eternity, knowledge and bliss. (sat, cit, ananda in Sanskrit).

Followers of Jesus may have taught that if you get 51% or more in your ‘goodness’ exam you
go to heaven and if you get 49% or less you go to hell, but this is making black and white the
unlimitedly colourful for the benefit of simplification. From that you can understand that you
affect your destiny. Not that there is a line and two places to visit either side of it. There are
innumberable places and these places are bodies (minds, intelligences, ego) and planets.

You are in your own self-designed hell or heaven. And that is fact. Now you can lump this
fact and step back onto the eternal treadmill of ignorance or you can ask a few more
pertinent questions and receive a few more pertinent answers. After which you can choose
how to act. Real religion as you may come to know will give you Absolute Freedom. The
essence of religion of course, and not the form.

A few questions arise here.

Why is the population changing if we are all reincarnated? This is one.

How can I understand if reincarnation and karma are true? This is a better one.

The first question is easily answered by understanding that all life-forms have life-forces.
This then includes animals and plants and any other life that may exist on other planets and
in other dimensions if you can open yourself to the fact that the Earth may well be like a
grain of sand on a beach in the context of Everything!

People who ask this first question usually stop asking any more.

The second is the pertinent one. How can you understand? It may sound like a good
philosophy or a probable truth but it also may be some other information in the mass of
information coming at you.




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Part 4

Veda - knowledge

There is a way to understand what karma is. Not what your personal karma is. There is no
point in trying to unravel it though some cults like Scientology get into this. For a start you
are connected to other things. You have relationships with other beings. You have the
influence of other planets. You have boons from above and curses from below. Business
relationships and love relationships tying you together with angels and demons. İt is all quite
complicated.

But the solution is simple.

Yoga.

Yoga is a way for you to understand.

Every goal has a way. A process. A sadhana.

Now the word yoga may conjure images of ladies in leotards on daytime TV but İ’m sure you
are one of those aware of its deeper roots. The roots in fact are as deep as you can get. And
this is Absolutely Quintessential.. shall I say, for want of emphasis.

Knowledge descends.

Knowledge descends.

Knowledge descends.

In Vedic literature that information which is important is repeated three times. This
knowledge is regarding Vedic literature itself. İt is descending knowledge. Pure.
Uncontaminated. From the source.

There are two types of knowledge. Revealed and empirical. That which descends and that
which we ‘research’ in order to ascend. İn the ascending process we do not really know the
goal but piece by piece we put a puzzle together, then retract, and piece again. Modern
science and modern philosophers use this process and modern society pushes this process
into your schools and colleges and mocks the descending process as it does so. A respected
philosopher must come up with something new or debunk the previous philosopher. İt is
based on competition. And philosophers are constantly winning prizes for their victories over
other philosophers. Yet how long is the piece of string which they are holding? And that is
just length…. Life is not a piece of string. İt cannot be understood in its entirety by this
method.

On the other hand it can be understood in its entirety by the method which descends.
Teachers in this field of knowledge merely pass down knowledge from the source through an


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unbroken chain known as parampara (disciplic succession). Knowledge is complete in the
beginning and it remains complete by the efforts of purified souls. There is no reward for
new information. There is rather respect and acknowledgement given to those who have
preserved the essence without adding or subtracting anything from it. İt is not a
competition. İt is a family. The preservers of knowledge are not famous in society, they are
known by seekers who are sincere in their attempts to discover original wisdom in all its
preserved glory.

Here we meet the two prerequisites to Absolute knowledge. The creator and the preserver.
The scripture and the guru.

What is known of yoga should be known through scripture and guru. Scripture is itself the
storehouse of knowledge and the guru is the book-keeper, the one who has realized the
book. One praises and adheres to the other.

I will go deeper into the guru tattva as we go on but now I want to bring attention to the
Vedic scriptures. There are four main books which were written by Vedavyasa, an accepted
incarnation of Godhead, over 5000 years ago. Accompanying them are Puranas, which are
commentaries of these four books, written to simplify the knowledge for mankind. There is
also the Mahabharat and Ramayana which are lengthy poems given to help each soul realize
the essence of life. The Bhagavad-gita is the essence of the Mahabharat and a concise and
simple explanation of yoga.

Therefore what I am writing about is coming from the Bhagavad-gita, as pure as I can
possibly manifest it. I have studied with great teachers and traversed the path of bhakti-yoga
now for 16 years, which is the most heralded of all the paths of yoga. I have no desire to
attain anything from writing. I am merely attempting to open a door for anyone who wants
to come through it. I am not going to get rich or famous by this book. I have written books
before. They linger on computer files. What compels me to write is merely the wish to share
what is incredible knowledge. And if that is exciting and inspiring and being accepted by one
person it is time well spent.

Everything is covered in Bhagavad-gita. There are no holes. There are no questions
unanswered. Till you get deeper and then Srimad Bhagavatam takes over and answers all
your esoteric questions that arise which are provoked by the same book. İt is fantastic. I say
it to those of you who have not yet tasted this knowledge and to those of you who like to be
reminded. İt is wonderful. Let us not forget.




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Part 6

Yoga - unification

Yoga means union. İt is the way to unite. With yourself, with others, with nature and with
God. Knowledge regarding yoga comes primarily from the Bhagavad-gita which delinates
three different yoga paths. They are karma-yoga, jnana yoga (pronounced gyana), and bhakti
yoga. Astanga yoga and hatha yoga and other yoga systems are propounded in other texts.
They are mainly to do with using the body, which is seen as a temple, to come to the health
in which meditation is easily achieved. Yoga as a form of fitness is obviously not a bad idea…
but not the intended goal.

Karma-yoga is a process by which one concentrates on purifying one’s existence by
performing acts of atonement and sacrifice in order to achieve good karma and hence
prosperity for future lives. The path was followed years ago but is now practically impossible
because it depends a lot on specific mantras and times to chant them, and much of this
information, and required purity to practice has been lost. (Although we here much about
humanity’s evolution, according to Vedic wisdom humanity is actually devolving.

Jnana-yoga is to realize Brahman, the undifferentiated essence of God, through meditation.
Again, it is now practically impossible as it takes immense austerity and considerable time
undisturbed to perfect.

Bhakti-yoga is the easiest, most practical, and what is recommended in the Bhagavad-gita
itself. Bhakti means devotion. Bhakti-yoga is the art of unifying with the self, others, nature
and God through by devoting ones self. To love.

İt is the path of love.

And all are welcome to walk it.

From the very beginning of understanding I was attracted by how universal was this
philosophy. There is no hierarchy considered. There are no restrictions regarding race,
gender or social standing. Although there is the caste system in İndia, that has been abused
over the years (in this age called Kali Yuga), and even in times when it was followed with
purity, bhakti was considered aloof from it. A bhakta (a devotee) was and is considered free
from society’s hierarchy and dogma. One on the path of love belongs only to love.

So bhakti-yoga is a way out of samsara, the cycle of birth and death created by karma. İt is
the way because it is love’s way and ultimately all paths will lead this way eventually.

We are in the matrix. And it is wise to know it and transcend it.

But where to? Next question. İf we are leaving karma then where are we going.

Answer. Lila.

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We have discussed how there are unlimited places, (bodies and planets), which one can
enter to continue the experience of life, so what is the best body and best planet to aquire
or attend?

The best body is a body which resonates not in this material dimension but in a superior
dimension where pure love vibrates through everything. Even the body. That body will be
free from the subtle and gross contaminations of the material world. That body will reside
on a planet which is also free from contamination and full of pure love. That body will reside
with other bodies which are pure love incarnate in a play which is directed by unconditional
love.

İt is hard to describe of course without sounding like someone overdosing on Absolute
Superlatives. But I have experienced this dimension. It is not just a dream. İt is reality. And it
is a reality that can be touched upon in this life before completely attending.

By the process of bhakti-yoga you will come to know your future and you will come to design
it simultaneously. Upon achieving the goal of bhakti which is prema (unconditional love) one
will not be connected to one’s previous karma but rather to the new vibration.

You will experience the here and now and at the same time the here and now in another
dimension. That is prema tattva. I will get to it later.

Back down to Earth.

From the beginning it is important to know the goal ! so as we walk the path we know
where we’re going and exactly how to get there. Not only that. No-one is alone. It is a path
where embracing others on the path is not only an aspect but a necessity. Many spiritual
teachers in this new age are teaching how free you are that you do not need anyone. And
that sounds sweet in a world where we are sick of everyone. And therefore such
philosophies are popular. But bhakti means love and love’s prerequisite is a lover. On the
path of jnana (teoretıcal knollage) there is no need of help. You can do it yourself. But on the
path of love d-i-y sounds like masturbation. Why masterbate when you can make love?

İt is the age of masturbation where spiritual seekers proudly fly the flag of freedom.
Freedom however is a pipe-dream for such people because we need each other. And we
either relate in business or in love. We create by business or love. Real freedom takes
absolute solitude and there are not many people who have the balls or ability to do that in
this world today. And why would you want to be alone if you were to have the power?

There is a major difference between freedom and love. And it is important to understand it. I
have seen and can still see many devotees who speak love but adhere to freedom. Freedom
is considered on the path of love as a witch. I wondered why. Travelling the world for 10
years and meeting and speaking to different people I now understand. Freedom as a goal is a
big obstacle in the path of love and impossible to achieve without the aid of love.


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There is a major distinction between different schools of spiritual thought. One school has a
teacher who says I’m the teacher. The other has a teacher who says you don’t need a
teacher. The teacher will always be there but the teacher who teaches that you can do-it-
yourself allows you to keep your ego. For the only place you can get rid of your ego is at the
feet of (under the guidance of) someone else. Humility is the process of ridding oneself of
ego and to be humble you need someone to be humble in front of. The humble teacher may
tell you ‘no.. I am not a teacher’ out of humility or he may tell you the same thing out of
awareness that the teacher must be humble. Understand. Till you humbly find a humble
teacher of love you are…… lost, wandering around a competitive dimension crying freedom.

Teachers who teach you that you are found when you are lost are probably making a lot of
money from it because it is poetry to the ears and to the ego to know that you don’t need
anyone else to attain enlightenment.

I have seen in anarchy groups. There are always leaders. And if you say I am a good leader.. I
can play drums, they will says… ‘we don’t need leaders here’ and all the naïve disciples
follow them and repeat their mantra.

There are of course gurus who are not really gurus but who are making a living from the
naïve. But there are gurus who are in it out of love. That guru will be so dear to you that all
his or her positive qualities will rub off on your sincere soul to mix with your own very
unique personality.

And you will be you like you never could have imagined.



Part 6

Sadhya – the goal

I have just returned from an eco-festival in Switzerland. It was nice but nice really drags after
a while when you sense that void, which you yourself don’t have, attempted to be filled by
thousands of new age techniques to heal yourself.

I am laughing with my friend. How come all these people are so sick they need so much
healing? When it comes to the dance all are stuck. There was a folk band playing the main
stage (which was small but still main), and everyone’s feet were rooted to the ground.

The therapies obviously didn’t work because you cannot stay still to the fiddle!

Something is underlying. Don’t get me wrong, I also practice reiki and massage and advocate
bio products and environmental friendliness. But where are the Krishna devotees with the
free food and the dancing in ecstasy? Where is God? God it seems is a swear word in today’s
spiritual conventions: this is Kali-yuga.


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Chaitanya Mahaprabhu walked the Earth about 500 years ago. He was a beauty. An
incarnation of love. The incarnation of love! He became a renowned scholar in the home of
scholarship in Bengal. He defeated all theories and philosophies with acintya bhedabheda
tattva… made disciples of those he defeated… and then went on hari nama sankirtana. He
went dancing. And he insisted that this was all the meditation anyone need.

Dancing. Singing. Eating.

This is God consciousness. İt is a lot of fun. God knows how people managed to miss it.
Because the wave of Krishna consciousness seems to have passed with people either still
surfing or remembering the revolution that was. Prabhupada was a revolutionary. What a
man! He hitch-hiked on a boat to USA from İndia at the age of 70 and plonked himself in the
middle of Golden Gate Park and Haight Ashbury, amongst the hippies, and chanted Hare
Krishna. The rest Krishna took care of. He just told people about God. Some listened. They
brought their friends. They listened and printed books and hired a shop and brought some
friends and then the Beatles came along and George Harrison began surfing the wave and
the wave spread around the world. Hundreds of temples, millions of books given out, sold,
and conned into people’s possession.

The activities of some devotees may have been a little uncouth but Prabhupada for sure
played a huge part in spiritually awakening this world. Just to see a video of Srila Prabhupada
makes you cry. He is so sweet. İt may hurt when he says you are a dog if you are not serving
God but that is the ego. The pain goes away with the ego.

God is missing in the spiritual arena. And it feels very eerie and pretentious. After all, who
wants to admit defeat? Who wants to admit that the healing just isn’t working? Most are
making a living from it. Mantra and tantra a big business but don’t mention God because the
customers will run away. No. You are all you need.

For years I tried to introduce Krishna in a new light seeing that millions of people were
interested in a conscious awakening and a spiritual revolution. Karma, reincarnation,
vegetarianism, lila, mantra, tantra, Siva Shambol! But there comes a point where the door is
open and the most glorious beautiful truths offers itself… and bump.. the ego cannot
squeeze through. God. Let me unapologetically explain this most subtle and original
phenomena.

(Following this book’s thread,) we now know we are atma, eternal, indestructible soul. We
know the atma transmigrates through samsara, the cycle of birth and death. I mentioned
three systems of yoga and that the easiest and most revered and recommended is called
bhakti.

So bhakti is a path… a spiritual path leading one from ignorance to enlightenment and
beyond that into the arms of the original Lover.


                                                                                            15
God.

The Lover.

God has three aspects. Brahman, Paramatma and Bhagvan. The undifferentiated all-
pervading energy is Brahman. İt is the highest goal of the impersonal yogis. Thus they aim to
rid themselves of i.d. Be free. And unite forever with this .. oneness which has no form, no
i.d, no character, no personality and consequently no play.

Paramatma is the living force. The conglomerate of atmas, souls. Here there is recognition of
diversity. The animate and the inanimate. Yogis see all souls as equal. Devotees see all souls
as equal yet different.

I will explain as we go because this philosophy of acintya bhedabheda tattva runs right
through all the other aspects of the Absolute.

Then we have Bhagavan. God. The person.

Retract or embrace. That is what the sools do when confronted by Bhagavan. Bhagavan is
the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He is the creator. You may have noticed that the Earth
is genius. Well it is because it had a genius creator. Not that it came to be through chance.
Chance is secondary to consciousness. İf you are aware of this you are less likely to be
blinded by the conspiracies of evil governments. Because they want you to believe in
chance. They also want you to belong to a religion which doesn’t educate you too and they
pull off it off with apparent ease.

Even conspiracy theorists will tell you that the evil governments have made you believe in
God to make you impotent. Obedience to religion can make you impotent but not devotion
to God. God does not make you impotent. God makes you potent. Because like father like
son. Like creator like created. We are little Gods for Godsake and if we live for God’s sake for
Godsake then we will have all the power of God. İf you are in touch with the Supreme the
Supreme works through you.

All that is to do then is to be a vessel for love. And as love passes through you to everyone
else you will be enblissed by it.

What’s the problem?

The problem is the ego. The ego is where we are at. İt is not going to let us get on a path
which is going to destroy it. Bhakti yoga is not difficult. The only difficulty is letting go of the
ego. And that is very difficult. Here is the paradox. The catch 22. But if you can crack it… if
something inspires you to trust something above yourself… someone outside the well, then
all will be well. Otherwise you are just going to join some meditation group and have some
quack tell you that you are all you need.

Like I said.. it is the age of masturbation.

                                                                                                   16
‘God cannot have a body!’ People say it. Even those who believe in God say he cannot…. He
cannot what… You cannot do this or that… for God there is no problem. He is the origin. The
iltgghujıı efrd r gdeew v nvmnventor. The computer cannot tell the programmer what he
can’t do!!! The programmer can do anything and everything. He is unlimited. She is
unlimited. They are unlimited. And by unlimited one should not think of formless. İt is a
small logic to consider that God should be anythingLESS. The form of God is something
inconceivable to a small minded man with no real information. But it is easy to consider if
you understand that the Absolute can appear finite if it likes. İf you can consider this then we
can move on to discuss why exactly the Absolute enjoys this apparent finite manifestation.

God the Person is an experience of bliss. Bliss.. or ananda… is the goal of life. İt is the
meaning of life. God tastes bliss because he wants to. And he gives the taste to all who really
want to because he wants to give it. That pleases God and it pleases the atma. There is no
business man here. This is a pure love relationship.

We are in a business world. Wake up! They are making conspiracy. God is not a business
man. There may be many speaking about God who are because what do you think the other
guy does. He cheats. So the biggest cheaters are those who use God’s name for business. But
be clear. Not to be cheated. By 1) Not having anything to do with them 2) Not letting others
convince you that because religion is corrupt God does not exist.

Religions are there to help you connect to God. İf they are not doing that they are useless or
corrupt. Most are corrupt because we live in these times. But please…. Don’t throw the baby
out with the bath water. Then satan’s army win hands down. They put on robes.. dress
religious… rape your children.. .and you become atheists and follow down his path to …
where to… anywhere…nowhere… somewhere…. samsara… the matrix.

We are in the matrix. The world of maya, illusion.

Maya is a recognized word nowadays and people take its meaning in different ways. One
way is the Buddhistic way. Maya is illusion. Unreal. This world is a dream and therefore don’t
give any meaning to it, transcend it, and come to the platform of nirvana. Mayavadis
(followers of the impersonal path) will say the same only their goal is Brahman. There is little
difference between nirvana and Brahman. Zero and One are exactly the same if there is no
Two.

Many Krishna devotees see Maya as that evil attractress dragging you back into the matrix
from the goal of transcendence and Krishna Consciousness.

The Vedic scriptures explains that maya is two-fold. The phantasmagoria itself. The tangible
world around us. The object. And the perception of it. The subjective. The illusion is primarily
subjective. The objective is just a type of God’s energy. A creation enabling the individualized
souls to feel at home away from home.



                                                                                             17
Real home is not in this phantasmagoria of a material world but the phantasmagoria of a
spiritual world. The material world is known as mahamaya. The spiritual world is known as
yogamaya. So maya is not necessarily a bad thing. İt is not something or somewhere to run
away from.

Bhakti-yoga therefore is not an escape away from anywhere….. from samsara, from maya,
from the material world. But it is an embrace of a superior energy. Embracing that superior
energy naturally relinquishes you from the shackles of the inferior energy. Karma is
destroyed. The bonds of action created over millions of lifetimes are destroyed by bhakti-
yoga without ever trying to understand how.

It is quite simple to understand. When you love you feel good. When you feel good you
don’t feel bad. When there is light there is no dark. You cannot get rid of darkness before
turning the light on. You turn the light on and the darkness disappears. You cannot get rid of
air before putting water in a cup. You add water and air disappears. So this is the positive
path of love. You add. There is no subtraction. There is no working on your evils. Trying to
uproot your anger and fear and jealousy and hatred and greed. You just love.

You just love God.

Because love’s pre-requisite is a lover. And God is the original lover whose love is connected
to everything. Therefore to love God is to love the root of the tree of life. Trying to love all
and avoid God is like trying to constantly water the innumerable leaves of a tree. İt is
useless. The attempt may look impressive to onlookers. As the opposite attempt to love God
may look unimpressive and neglective to onlookers. But actually real love has to come
through the source of creation.

Once you get a little bit of this love from the source you love everything and everyone
equally….. and differently. Equally is important at this stage of understanding because that is
the oneness experience, the sustenance, offered by love. The different ways to love are like
flavours of that food. And this we will discuss later.

I am going through aspect after aspect of bhakti yoga to give you an insight into the fullness
of it. İt is complete. Each aspect can be described and explained in incredible detail. And in
fact it has. There is so much bhakti literature, so much wisdom given to humanity from great
souls who have awakened their highest potential as lovers of God. They have related the
great Vedas in simplified ways. İn complex ways. İn fun ways. İn serious ways. İn poetry. İn
prose. İn art. İn dance. İn music. İn their exemplary lives they have lived.

Bhakti yoga reveals your highest self and nurtures your eternal relationship with the
Absolute… .. the Absolute Absolute being Bhagavan… God. İt nurtures your relationships
with each other and with Mother Earth. İt does not contradict other spiritual paths or
doctrines but rather solidifies, completes and reconciles all paths so that the final journey,
the goal of all paths may be finally realized.

                                                                                                 18
There is a way disseminated. There is a goal revealed. Sadhana and sadhya.

Where are you? Where are you going? How are you going to get there? What are the
obstacles? What are the positive signs that you are going in the right direction? What are the
changes in consciousness? How will you perceive? How will you be perceived?

All these pertinent questions and much more are described in beautiful, graceful texts
written by those who love God and All. I will try to convey and do the same.



Part 7

Sadhana – the practice

We have discussed what the goal is so now let us discuss what is the sadhana – the way to
the goal! What is the practice practiced in order to achieve the goal of love of God.

There must be a practice. There must be something one can do to succeed. And bhakti
sadhana is just that.

Bhakti is a science. There is no need for belief. İn the beginning you can experiment with the
sadhana until faith becomes your eternal possession. There is a difference between belief
and faith. Let us scrutinize the words in order to understand what is what. Belief belongs to
sentimentality. İf you check religions around the world you will see that belief is regarded as
the goal of those religions. İf you believe in Jesus then you are saved. İf you believe in Allah
you are saved. And thus you don’t have to worry about what happens in your life because
you will go to heaven when you die. I can say nothing to these people because they will not
have got this far in the book. But maybe you realize the counter-productive sentimentality in
that. İt is counter productive because one who believes and believes that belief is enough is
not going to do any sadhana.. work towards refining one’s consciousness… nor is he going to
do anything altruistic because this life is just something to pass by and leave behind.

I say don’t believe in Krishna… in Radha… but take the time to inquire… and to experiment
with the practice that I am absolutely sure will reveal everything to you. The sadhana WİLL
lead you to the goal. That goal is a conscious state. A state of love. And in that state of love
you will perceive a subtle world which is ordinarily beyond perview.

Science. Experiment and see.

There are things to do which will lead to inner development and a higher vibrational level.
That itself is a wonder. That itself is grace.

Another concept to get straight. Grace. Once you accept God then how is it that you need to
do something to achieve God. İs God not in complete control and you just an impotent spark
waiting for help?

                                                                                                   19
Again.. consciousness invites you to embraces opposite poles. Grace and graft are to be
understood simultaneously. Yes. Everything is coming from grace. That you will perceive
later if not already. But you have to graft for it. And this is the real grace. God is giving you
some control because that is why he created you. So that you and he can live individually
and experience the fun of this inter-active movie.

Sadhana is interaction. I said earlier that ‘you’ create your movie, that ‘you’ should take
control of your life and act positively to create a positive life. However, we have decided to
go down the love path and in this love path is the lover and the Absolute nature of the Lover.
You do not have power. The Absolute Lover has all the power and you are an infinitesimal
atma desiring to relate to that power. You are the creator. You are the created. You are the
master. You are the servant. How the paradox is true you will understand, by practice and by
grace simultaneously.

From the beginning you do not have to accept God or grace. You do not have to believe in a
boy with a flute who is living in another world enjoying with his dearest. On the journey from
A to B we do not have to believe beyond our perception. We just have to have the interest
to inquire sincerely. And to take up the offer given by devotees like me. Try it! Sincerely.

I guarantee anyone will be successful in meeting with God. I can prove God to you. But there
is a way. You can get butter from milk but you have to do something. Sadhana.

That sadhana is a mood and an action because all actions are enacted in a mood. So the
mood is sincerity. Honest inquiry. That is all.

And the sadhana is mantra.

Primarily.

Are you ready?

Here is where we dive into experience, holding hands of philosophy on a journey under the
ocean of love. İf you don’t dive then what I say from here may just seem wishy-washy to
you. İf you are looking at the ocean from above the water what you see will be disturbed by
the water’s surface. İt will appear unstable. So dive if you are a scientist. İf you are sincere.
Honest. Because I am a scuba diver. I know what is inside this ocean. And all it takes is for
you to dive. You may surface again whenever you like.

Mantra.

Mantra-ray…. Ha ha. I have actually scuba dived in Hawaii with manta-rays but this type of
diving is with mantra.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare

Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare

                                                                                                    20
This is the mantra.

Chant this mantra. To yourself. Out loud. On beads. On your fingers. Count. Don’t count. As
you feel.

But here is my advice.

Take my advice.

Forget Hare Krishnas. You are not joining a cult. You can if you want but this is not essential.
Cults in this world are all temporary and they may help you with an eternal quest or not. This
is individual science right now. So forget about anyone else. Don’t worry about image. All
images that you may try to emulate are worthless. Fashion is transitory and you are not. So
forget about being cool. Cool people are usually stupid when it comes to what matters.

Concentrate.

On sound.

The mantra works because sound is creative. That has been scientifically proven by modern
science as well as ancient science. The mantra is a sound which is vibrating love right
through it. Female love and masculine love. For Hare is the secret sound for Radha, the
feminine deity of love. And Krishna and Rama are both names of the masculine deity of love.

For now.. again.. you do not have to believe in deities. I am just explaining what the sounds
are. You will come to realize… not believe…. REALİZE what I am saying to be true.

Ego; ‘No I won’t’

İntelligence; ‘Ego, quiet a while I am just experimenting. What is wrong with experimenting?’

Ego; ‘Don’t trust anyone. Everyone is after something. Your money or your energy. Put the
beads down. This is a cult.’



You will hear this voice as you chant. İt will tell you a million and one reasons why what you
are doing is stupid. İt is not you.

Chant and listen to the words. When you hear the voice arguing with you just hear that too.
And then hear the words again.

Be patient. There is bound to be an argument because what you are doing is separating your
self from your ego. The more you concentrate and meditate and chant you will be able to
more clearly perceive these two different ‘yous’. Ego and self. İt is something quite
exhilarating. After a while you will be able to defeat your own ego



                                                                                             21
Ego; ‘He is just saying that to trap you. You are going to be brainwashed and then you will
give all your money to some guru. You don’t need a guru. Love is inside of you. Stop chanting
this stupid mantra…’

Self; Hare Krishna Hare Krishna ……

You won’t need to argue anymore. You will know. Because you will FEEL that what you doing
is giving you great awareness. İt is not brainwashing you in the sense of cult brainwashing..
but yes… your brain becomes clean enough to be able to detect your own ego and ignore it.
Once you ignore it for a while it disappears. The mind, the ego.. whatever you want to call
it… that voice which tries to perpetuate your suffering… will become a distant voice.

And you will become CLEAN.

My personal experience of chanting in the beginning was like this. And many many people
tell similar stories. I will tell you mine.

I started chanting and it was very weird at first. But I liked it.

The first thing I noticed was how much I started to notice Krishna everywhere. Devotees on
the street. People chanting on the underground in London. Pictures, books, music in clubs
with mantra in the mix… Co-incidence. Wow. That was a big one. My life started to get very
well timed. I was thinking of someone and bumping into them two minutes later. Stuff like
this.

The rays were getting through.

Chanting is like wiping mud from your windscreen with windscreen wipers. Your thick mud-
like karma, accrued over millions of life-times, is difficult to remove. İn the beginning it may
seem like there is no effect. Of course… remember… your mood is important. İf you are
chanting in order to prove chanting a hoax then of course you will get all the signs that it is a
hoax. People will come up to you and tell you… ‘chanting is a hoax’ because the chanting
does this. İt fulfills your desire.

İf you want to disprove it. You will succeed. İf you want to prove it. You will succeed. İf you
don’t want anything. İf you are merely experimenting. Then you will see clearly. And that is
why I say mood is important. Because it is important to be clear. Don’t believe chanting is
good or bad. Just listen to the sound… sincerely.

I trusted my own sincerity. That was my trust in the beginning. I didn’t trust any Hare
Krishna. I did not meet any Hare Krishna in the beginning. I read Bhagavad-gita.

Another good idea.

Another sadhana.



                                                                                               22
Sravana. Hearing… reading the sastra… the scripture. The truth: Krİshna consciousness is not
a sentimental thing. İt is the acquisition of wisdom which will light up the heart with sat cit
ananda. Eternity, knowledge and bliss. These three thİngs are to be acquİred naturally
through sadhana:
One thing is for sure as I write. That everyone readİng is in a different place; a different
conscious space: Some people will believe in God, some people will not. Some people will
have been to İndia: some won’t. Some people will feel they belong to some religion or some
culture or some nationality. Some will feel aloof from all definition. As we enter the sadhana
I would like to make it clear that there is a simple message that I would like to put out.

You have to trust yourself.

Everything boils down to trust.

İn this world you either trust someone who is not worthy of trust. You trust no-one. Or you
trust someone who is worthy of trust. There may be only 5 percent of people in this world
worthy of trust. There may be less than 1 percent. But I am absolutely sure that I am in that
little category. I am absolutely sure of myself. Positive. And that is how we must be. Sure of
our self. Because the key to success is sincerity and trust in one’s self.

When you trust your self you can then trust others. Those who trust no-one do not trust
themselves. İt is an irony worth mentioning. A new age fad. ‘Do not trust anyone. Trust only
yourself:’ but if you trust your self you will trust those trustworthy, naturally. Because if you
trust your self you will be alert to who is worthy of trust. And then you will get a feeling: ah;
this person is worthy of trust.
So fear no-one.

And trust your self.

And experiment wİth what I am saying. Because there is nothing to lose.

There İs nothİng to lose.
İt has been sİxteen years sİnce I fİrst started chantİng and I am stİll eager to share. That is
how love leaves you. Eager to share. When I first experienced the bliss of this mantra I was
certain I would make a love revolution. That İs what happens to you. You want the whole
world to stop and take notice.
‘Hey everyone… stop for a second.. I found the answer.. the answers.. the truth.. the love….
And I can easily tell you about it.’

You think that people will pull over in their cars and listen… because you are dying to tell
them. You know. And it is so simple. This will happen to you. And people around you will…..
think you have lost the plot. Irony after irony. You find the plot and people think you have
lost it.



                                                                                               23
Because other people are also fanatic about their truth does not mean that all truths you
here are mental delusions from fanatics. The one who really holds the key will also shout I
have the key along with all those deluded. And those deluded are probably not deluded but
rather holding part of the puzzle but missing a few pieces.

Mantra makes everythİng very clear.
Bhagavad-gita solidifies the clarity.

The window wipers go to work on the mud on the windscreen. First of all the thick mud is
wiped away. There is so much mud that though much is cleared still the windscreen is
covered. Nothing seems to be happening because you cannot perceive a difference yet.

Keep chanting, keep those windscreen wipers working and finally you get to notice some
light.

Divinity:
You are goİng to realize divinity in three phases: Brahman; paramatma and bhagavan. First
you notice the light. You notice that there is a divinity. This is a big change from not feeling
divinity before or a merger as you realize that the divinity previously experienced by yourself
is awakened further by chanting.

Nature appears extraordinarily divine. I remember the day after I started chanting. I walked
down high road in east finchley and noticed a tree on the side of the road. I really noticed it.
It was exhuberant, incredible, divine. I had never noticed this tree before. The cars and
banks and buildings all looked pretty dull in comparison. But this tree was alive: Paramatma:
God is in all living things.

I realized paramatma pretty early in my chanting because of my sincerity of heart. I read
Bhagavad-gita and surrendered İmmedİately. Because it encouraged surrender. Ultimately
this is where devotion takes you. İnto a let go. İnto surrender unto the divine. And I dİd İt
wİth a deep heart and thus the divine reciprocated by glossİng the planet wİth a deep
effulgence.

The next day I noticed the flowers in the temple garden in the Manor; near Watford. Was I
tripping on acid or ecstasy or mushrooms? The only previous experience of this natural buzz
was while taking these perception-changers. But now I was only chanting.

This you have in store for you as the surrender to the divine increases.

You keep chanting. Suddenly there are rays of lİght comİng through the wİndscreen: this is
paramatma realization.

You keep chanting and you start to see the other side of the windscreen. The real world: the
spİrİtual world: bhagavan realization.

                                                                                                24
The final realization. Bhagavan realization is the greatest experience. This takes some
practice. This is not given to you overnight. But you will realize that Bhagavan realization is
the goal before you get to it. You will know the absolute truth in theory before you fully
realize it. Because the energy comİng from Bhagavan realization is so strong… so sweet… so
blissful.. that even before it comes to you…. Its effect reaches you. You begin to feel love for
God way before you meet wİth God. But you know that is what will happen. And that itself is
great blissful feeling.

Hare Krishna hare Krishna Krishna Krishna hare hare

Hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare

It is very simple. It is the backbone of the culture of Krishna consciousness.

These names are not dİfferent from the personalİtİes whose names they are: that is how
spiritual sound works. When you chant your soul.. your inner self recognizes the sound. İt is
as if the baby of your soul is awoken by the calling of the mother and father. But before you
feel that feeling of being found by your eternal mother and father there is some cleaning to
do. When you at last feel that recognİtİon you sİmultaneously feel the separatİon: ‘what
have I been doing all these years.’ That is just one lifetime. İf you could feel all the lifetimes
you had been separated that feeling may well be too overwhelming.

At the same time you feel…. ‘why did I not chant your names earlier…’ you feel absolutely
pleased that you did at last. And you feel eternity. When you feel eternİty you realİze
tİmelessness: this negates the regret for here you are, now, with the greatest gift of all.
Grace.

Welcome home.



Part 8

Sraddha - trust

When you taste a little love from above you are going to want to taste some more. You are
going to want to get serious. Congratulations. Really. Big congratulations if you get this far.
Let me tell you. If you get this far you have gone all the way. Because the rest is a conveyor
belt into the loving arms of the personal divine. It is still a way to go. It is not easy. But it is
inevitable if you get the point that you seriously want to go all the way.

This is called sraddha, trust. You trust the process. Trust in the self and trust in the process of
bhakti become one. Now you are a sadhaka. A practitioner of sadhana bhakti.

The essence of bhakti is devotion. Love. Love is not just a general feeling of universal
affection… it is that also… but more than that it is specific. As you may feel love for everyone

                                                                                                   25
in the world, simultaneously you feel a certain kind of specific love for your lover or your
mother or your father or brother and sister. Love therefore is not only universal it is specific.
It is the same with divine love. Love for God is not only conglomerate. That feeling is called
brahmananda, the bliss of Brahman, love for the everything. Love of God can be specific too.
That love is called premananda, the bliss of love. That bliss is tasted in connection to the
lover. İt includes and surpasses in quality the bliss of brahmananda.

Here bhakti yoga begins. With the knowledge that we are going for the topmost bliss. And
from the beginning we are eligible to taste it. İt is not saved for after death. İt is constantly
available… through bhakti yoga.

Bhakti yoga in practice is called sadhana bhakti.

Bhakti yoga perfected is called prema bhakti.

The way and the goal are the same only perfection takes over from practice.

In the practice stage the goal is always kept in focus. So we know where we are heading.

In perfection we are united with Bhagavan… in deep awareness of another realm. We are
devoted to God completely.

In practice we do sadhana.

We chant.

And when we attain sraddha, trust, we naturally inquire. ‘ok, what else can I do, what else
can I give towards attaining more depth…’

At this point I trusted Bhagavad-gita and I trusted Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami
Prabhupada. Bhagavad-gita gives the answer to those asking this question at the point of
sraddha.

In Sanskrit ‘tad viddhi pranipatena pariprasnena sevaya upadeksyanti te jnanam jnaninas
tattva darsinah’ ‘Just try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. İnquire from
him submissively and render service to him. The self realİzed souls can İmpart knowledge
unto you because they have seen the truth:’

What truth have they seen seen? What tattva? Acintya bhedabheda tatta. The inconceivable
oneness and difference of the absolute. Krishna. They have seen Krİshna. Now İf you want to
see the absolute you have to approach, inquire and serve someone that has. Simple.

The guru is essential in the path of love. Because we are talking about love not just
knowledge. Knowledge you can get from a book or by meditation. But love is a dance so you
need a dancing partner. Be careful because there is a lot of money and a lot of satisfaction
for the ego for people bowing to you and calling you ‘master’. So the real masters are sought


                                                                                                    26
with deep sincerity. Only by your own honesty will the real master be revealed.
Arrangements will be made that you meet the real master when you sincerely want to.

The guru represents God. İt is not small thing. İt is a massive thing. Because if the guru is
connected in a parampara…. a chain of bonafide masters… then that river of love can flow
into your heart.

When I found my guru I was so incredibly happy. I accepted Prabhupada and his writings till I
found my guru and that was some comfort because I felt guided and cared for… but I could
feel something missing. And that was due to my chanting with sraddha.. with trust. The next
step was to accept a guru… so before this there was naturally a void. I felt so alone. My
family couldn’t help me achieve love of God. My friends couldn’t. And devotees around me I
felt couldn’t. When I came into Krishna Consciousness I felt happy to be with the devotees
but there was a strange religious vibration and pseudo-spiritual egos that created a suspicion
in me. The void created a deep prayer in me. And the prayer was answered.

Prayer. All prayers are received by Paramatma. Paramatma runs through all living beings like
a network of blood. We bump into each other accidentally due to Paramatma. There is no
accident. Our thoughts, our prayers, our desires, mixed up with our karma are creating the
play. When you understand this then prayer is scientific and you can put some energy into
the play.

Whether you are Christian, Muslim or Hindu or member of an African tribe…. Paramatma
receives all the imput you imput. For there is one God. Unfortunately most religious people
cannot reconcile different doctrines which are given according to time, place and
circumstance. Even in Hare Krishna sects there are differences and people arguing with each
other based on temporary advice from their gurus.

This path you are on has been traversed before and it is being traversed by many right now…
so there are things which are common to all… but then there are things which are absolutely
unique to you. That is why I say My Radha… because She is My God.. although She may be
the same as yours She is absolutely unique to me. Again, divine paradox must be understood
so we don’t fight at every step; so we can unite despite differences.

There are many Krishna devotees who say that Prabhupada is the last great teacher and that
he will be the teacher for the next 10,000 years. But that is stripping bhakti from its greatest
gift. The guru. The guru is alive. A personality. A person. A representative of God in the flesh.
İt is difficult to accept. İt is easy to accept a guru who has passed away or is in heaven
looking on because you don’t have to face him. You can just receive inspiration from above
and not have to suffer the blows from below that the guru will deal you. The guru exists to
rid you of ego.

My guru told me that the first thing a devotee wants to do after taking initiation is to kill the
guru. That sounded harsh but it is because the person taking initiation has ego and the ego is

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going to die at the hands of the guru. When the guru dies actually many disciples become so
pleased. Those disciples are the ones who have hung on to their egos and enjoyed the
sensual, mental, intellectual and social benefits of the bhakti rather than the austerities of it.
The ones who are happy to see the guru die will be the ones crying many crocodile tears in
public to cover the reality.

You expect when joining a movement towards love that everyone is fall of it. But beware.
Really beware. Most in this world are not full of it. And if they are in a movement where they
ought to be full of it they will act like they are full of it while being full of the opposite. Ego.
Hence you have so much apparent devotion around you but little real devotion. I know many
people won’t come to Krishna Consciousness because they are sensitive to the former, they
feel the pretentiousness of so-called devotees. And that gives a bad impression, a bad
samskara. Krishna becomes a distasteful word as it is now attached to the egoistic Hare
Krishna you met on the street trying to push his philosophy when you could see and feel that
it wasn’t realized knowledge…. just some information.

This is a shame. I know. But this is the world. This is not the fault of bhakti. İt is not the fault
of devotees or God. God is not to blame for the demise of religion. Jesus is not to be hated
because of fanatic Christians who get on your nerves with their fananticism, nor Mohammed
to be hated for fundamentalist Muslims. Understand. It is you and the truth. The outside is a
play. And in this world the minority will be possessed with love.

What is incredible is that in this world there are people with Absolute Love for God. İf you
can muster up enough sincerity and earnest desire to meet them then you are incredibly
fortunate. If you attain sraddha… trust in them you are even more fortunate. İf you feel like
surrendering to them then you are in a category heralded by the Vedic scriptures as
supremely fortunate. We are talking about human beings capable of delivering you from evil,
delivering you from good at the same time, and hoisting you into a dimension you will come
to know while climbing the ladder of love.

I can give you a few names. I will do so as I tell you my history as a disciple.

Part 9

Guru – the teacher

My prayer was sincere. İt was to Prabhupada. İt was to Paramatma. It was to myself. İt was
to Krishna. All these were the same really. My trust encompassed them and united them
together as one gracious entity. And my prayer was answered when I realized that Srila Gour
Govinda Maharaja was also for me. He was a lecturer, a guru in the Isckon movement. I
loved him. Only he had left the world a year earlier, as Prabhupada had in 1977. But his
lectures inspired me to keep praying for the real deal as his lectures really emphasized this
point which I am emphasizing now. So maybe it his grace you are receiving here. However.



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He was not physically present anymore and he was adamant İn reiterating the verse above.
‘You have to approach and İnquİre and serve a spİrİtual master.’


Jesus is a spiritual master but you cannot approach him, physİcally.
Prabhupada worship is as honest as this but İn Gaudiya Vaishnavism, which is the correct
name for the hare Krishna cult, there is a parampara, a continuation, a descendency, a flow
of love. My prayers became more ardent as my awareness of my need set in. I soon realized
that Srila Narayana Maharaja was my guru. From pictures. From a feeling I got around his
disciples. He was mine. I was his.

When I went to India for the first time it was as a devotee. I never noticed the hippies and
İsraelis and all of the traveler culture till later. I went for Krishna, for my devotional life and
to meet with Srila Narayana Maharaja.

I was presented with someone else. Not someone instead of but someone as well of. Sriman
Premananda Prabhuji. Prabhuji was the leader of the ashrama in Mathura and such a
beautiful loving soul that everyone naturally fell under his care. He became my siksa guru…
my instructing guru and Srila Narayana Maharaja became my initiating guru, the guru who
gives mantras and officially starts you on the path.

A year ago as I write Srila Narayana Maharaja left this world. He left an enthusiastic
following and very high class devotees to continue his mission. Which is the same of all
lovers of Krishna; to distribute love.

Premananda Prabhuji is still around. And worthy of dropping everything you are doing to
meet with him.

He gave me the name Pitambara Das and Srila Narayana Maharaja confirmed it.

Mine is a long story, a different story than many devotees because I was lead away from the
usual path of bhakti onto a less common esoteric path. I’m sure that I am writing to convey
this to you because there is no use just repeating what devotees have already repeated. All
my gurus have encouraged me to distribute, to teach and yet my way appears contradictory
to the standard Hare Krishna way. This may be why you are reading my book right now.

After some time in the Gaudiya Math I studied philosophy deeper and served Sri Haridas
Sastri Maharaja in Vrindavan for 3 years. At the end of that time I filled with love and
realization. I had darsana… a vision of Radha…. and became mad with love for Radha and
Krishna.

After studying and serving Maharaja and his cows in Vrindavan for three years Prabhuji sent
me to Navadvipa, the birthplace of Sri Chaitanya where I met Sri Sacidulal Babaji Maharaja
who completed my guru life-story by giving me babaji vesa and siddha pranali, further
initiations into the esoterics of Krishna consciousness. I will explain later the details of this.

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Sri Sacidulal Babaji Maharaja was an amazing 100 year old man (I think he was 100 years old
for about 100 years!!) who was in total ecstasy all of the time. He was known as a pagal
baba…. one intoxicated like a crazy man in love with god. He was not difficult to fall in love
with. İt was instantaneous. I was lucky to have met such a soul and for him to bless me as he
did. He told me to build temples all over the world and distribute his own mantra. I haven’t
done that yet. I wİll try.
He passed away last year, unfortunately for the world.

There is one other very inspiring guru in my life. And he still lives…. in radha kund. The
sacred pond near vrindavan where Krishna played his earthly play 5000 years ago. Sri Ananta
das Babaji Maharaja received me after reading a request of residence written by Sri Sacidulal
Babaji Maharaja. Both have apparent different views concerning deeper truths regarding the
philosophy but I know they are one in their endeavour to present this absolute truth in their
own unique ways.

So…. I present to you a little of my history so that you can get a feel of an important part of
bhakti sadhana… that is sadhu sanga.

The most important.

Maha mantra and sadhu sanga, they are pertinent İn developİng love conscİousness.


Part 10

Vraja – the spiritual land

Bhakti yoga is a joy to perform. If you get a taste for it. İf you are sincere in your devotion. İt
is not if you are trying to show you are a devotee. Then the chanting is tiring and the
association with devotees like poison. Pretentiousness is not for us. İf you are not into the
idea of devotion then I advise you to stay away. İt is not worth the show to stay around the
devotional community. İt will hinder your spiritual progress in the long run if inside you are
averse.

İf you are attracted it is going to be joyous. Of course, in the beginning there may be some
fight from the mind and the ego, but the soul feeling its clarity will be a sweet taste and one
that leads you further into sadhana.

Bhagavad-gita explains the ontological nature of the soul and then delves into yoga. From
the centre we understand what we are… and then start to move. Now I have mentioned
gurus and chanting and lila and Krishna. There are so many topics to discuss. İt is as if the
whole jigsaw piece is slowly coming through at the same time… revealing itself as a whole
not just piece by piece.



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To acquire love of God you must fall in love with someone who fell in love with someone
who fell in love with God. İt is not rocket science. İt is love science. And very simple to
understand.

Another very important thing to do is visit Vrindavan where Radha and Krishna wandered,
played, frolicked 5000 years ago. They are historical figures. Real personalities whose life
stories have been passed down from elder to younger for 50 centuries. These stories have
been passed down in such a pristine condition that it is as if they were here only yesterday.

That is how it feels. İn the area called Vraja between Delhi and Agra there are villages each
with their own story. First Mathura, a city on the bank of the River Yamuna. This is where
Krishna was born and then taken to Gokul to be with his foster parents Yashoda and Nanda.
Mathura is not so pretty nowadays but there are important temples. The most important to
me is the Gaudiya Math where I spent 7 years as a brahmacari.. a young monk learning the
art of devotion. Across the river is a small village named İsapur. I lived there for a couple of
years also and the children still remember the song I wrote for them on guitar. ‘The Children
of İsapur are always very happy.’ And they were. And they still are. These little villages in
Vraja melt your heart.

The life hasn’t changed for centuries and the stories come to life once you feel the culture
from the inside. İ could never understand how a devotee of Krishna could spend their life in
Europe and never visit Vrindavan because here is where you learn about Krishna, the
culture. Not from the books but from the river, from the kids, from the plants and weeds and
pigs and monkeys and donkeys and honkeys. (Prabhuji likes to give sentences like this… it
rubs off!!)

The honkeys are the rickshaws riding around the area. I wish Vrindavan would be off limits
to cars because over the last decade it has become infested with Delhi-wallahs… people
from Delhi visiting for a quick blessing. Vrindavan is incredible. İt is deemed the most
spiritual abode in the universe. Not only İndia or Planet Earth but in the 14 planetary
systems mentioned in the Vedas there is nowhere like Vrindavan.

I have had so many mystical experiences in Vrindavan. I wouldn’t know where or how to
explain them. When I am in Vrindavan I feel like I am top of a spiritual mountain… where
there is no time. It is eternal. It feels as if the rest of the world is a moat where sharks may
drag you down, into samsara once again, where people try and stand on your head to get to
the shore to survive. But Vrindavan, you are home. And you can feel Krishna everso vividly.

Vrindavan is sweeter than Mathura and Goverdhan sweeter still. Goverdhan is a hill which is
16 km long, 20 meteres in height, and 50 meteres wide. İt is a beautiful purple colour. İt
looks out of place in the middle of flat Rajastan and stories that the monkey God Hanuman
dropped Goverdhan here while carrying it from the Himalyas are somehow quite plausible.
Goverdhan is surrounded by cows and monkeys and peacocks and sadhus, prostrating
themselves in penance. Goverdhan was a favourite playing place of Radha and Krishna and

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all their friends. There were caves and waterfalls and flowers and kunjas…. secret hiding
places for young lovers. And of course… at the end of the hill lies Radha Kund and Shyama
Kund. These are two small ponds, rediscovered 500 years ago by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu
where Radha and Krishna would have their most intimate pastimes. Radha Kund is regarded
as THE capital of Gaudiya Vaishnavism.

It is nowadays a place where the devoted devotees pray, chant japa (mantra), and listen to
esoteric lectures given by elevated sadhus. I love Radha Kund. She is my home. I would be
there right now if Radha herself had not encouraged me to return to the west to extend Her
very hand to everyone seeking LOVE.

Such a small place. Such a wonderful place. And there are many many wonderful places to
visit. Down the road is Varsana where Radha grew up with Her parents. There is a temple on
the hill where their house was. It is straight from a fairytale book. Down the road from there
is Nandagaon where Krishna grew up. These two villages are built on hills. The hills are said
to be reincarnations of Brahma and Siva. Radha and Krishna used to send love messages by
carrier birds to each other.

Between the two villages is Prema Sarovara (love pond) which is where… you can guess!!
And near there Uccagaon where Radha’s best friend lives (lived… lives… there is no
difference in Vraja!!) Near there is Yavat where Radha lived with Her husband. Yavat is my
favourite place in the world. The first time İ visited Yavat was with a party of about 4 buses
of western devotees. The village is tiny so we swarmed the area. I remember looking down
one little lane and feeling like … this was it…. I live here. For a moment I was not who I was.
Who was I? I was from Yavat. Then the devotees called me…. Pitambara das… get on the
bus…. What… I cried… I was from here. I was lead away.

Years later I visited again. The same feeling came back. The third time I returned and stayed
in the room next to the room which was observed as Radha’s own bedroom 5000 years
ago… or yesterday, today!!

I wrote poems on the walls of love for Yavat because the temple sadhu said he would paint
in a few days. I did it for love not thinking about preservation. The day after another devotee
came and read the poems and stopped the painting. I saw the poems later on facebook and
many people swooning over this poetry which came from nowhere. They were trying to find
the scripture. When I claimed responsibility that is the last I heard. Ha ha. I am not known to
be a great devotee. I will tell you why later!

This is Vraja. You should go.

Now… I have mentioned a little of my Radha and Krishna. Did you get a taste? This is Krishna
Consciousness. Vraja Consciousness. Krishna is not God in our tradition. Krishna is Krishna.
He is God but God is just his part time job. More importantly he is the lover of Vraja, the best



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friend of his friends, the adorable son of Yashoda and Nanda, the amourous lover of the
gopis (the milk maids)… more… the lover of Radha, the Queen of Vrindavan.

Krishna is intimate. Krishna consciousness is all about intimate love of God.

There are opulent universes where people go to be with God in all his pomp and ceremony
(aishvarya). These are called Vaikuntha planets. Here God has 4 arms and everyone who lives
there acquires a similar 4 armed body. Awe and reverence abound as everyone has Absolute
knowledge of who is God. And they are so happy to be Him.

Krishna goes deeper. There is something missing in Vaikuntha. That is sweetness and
intimacy!!? Vraja bhakti is the highest worship there is because there is no worship. Rather
those who end up alongside Krishna in his world become on a par with him. They are his
friends, his lovers. There is madhurya (sweetness) instead of (on top of!!) aishvarya
(reverence). Here God forgets He is God.

Why would God want to forget? So that he can play like a normal little boy. So that he can
experience surprise. So that he can experience human love in its most gorgeous way. So that
he can embrace me and you and look us in the eyes, slap us on the face or kiss us on the lips.

Krishna may appear like an ordinary boy. He does. But he is not. To many people, even
Hindus, Krishna is just a story about love and Krishna is a way to explain what love is and
actually when you reach God you will …A merge into Brahman or B go to Vaikuntha and be
with Narayana.

Krishna devotees are not interested in anything but Krishna and Vraja. The philosophy is by
no means whimsical. Neither is Krishna.

Vraja is a world superior to nirvana, Brahman, Vaikuntha…. Anywhere. Yet it looks so simple.
And that is the beauty. When you have the Creator of the Universe in front of you you would
expect to be over-awed. İn fact Krishna himself showed his friend Arjuna his Universal
Form… and then Arjuna pleaded take it away. İt was too much. Plus… Arjuna loved Krishna
without reason. He was not interested in God. He loved God. God just happened to be his
friend.

Covering the souls in our material world is an energy called maya, mahamaya. İn Vraja there
is an energy covering Krishna called Yogamaya. Yogamaya is an energy of Krishna’s … as
everything is…. Which enables perfect forgetfulness in order for there to be enhanced
sweetness in the Play of God.

Lila. The play of God is the reason we are all existing. Yet it is beyond reason. There is no
reason there. There is only love. From this world of reason we may enter that realm when
love plunders our reason and makes a home in our heart.




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Due to the intimacy Yogamaya allows, Krishna is absolutely in love with everyone… and
especially Yashoda and Nanda, and especially the cowherd boy friends of his… and more
especially the gopis.. and of all the gopis… yes… you are getting it… Radha is the Queen.

Hmmm.. now we are getting into rasa-tattva…. Knowledge concerning the science of
relationship. Once you start explaining Krishna’s world it is difficult to get out and come back
down to sadhana… but I will in a moment. Let me explain rasa now, having opened this door.

There are 5 types or flavours of relationship. They ascend according to depth.

Santa rasa means neutral love. The love we have for trees and plants and animals here.
Universal love.

Dasya rasa means servitude and it is the relationship of teacher and student which in Vedic
tradition is very close.

Then there is Sakhya rasa which is friendship.

Vatsalya rasa is parent-child love.

And srngara rasa or madhura rasa is romantic love.

Now… a little bit of simple Sankhya philosophy.

İn 5 there is 4,3,2 and 1.

The romantic lover may feel all the different relationships of love.

The mother cannot feel like the lover however. 4 cannot taste 5.

The mother can be the friend but the friend cannot really feel like the father or mother.

And so on.

Created first in our world is ego … and then intelligence and mind. And then comes the five
gross elements the first of which is sound. Sound resides in the ether and enables hearing.
The ear represents sound.

Second is air which enables touch. The skin hosts touch.

Third is fire which enables sight. The eye hosts sight.

Fourth is water which enables taste. The tongue hosts taste.

Fifth is earth which enables smell. The nose hosts smell.

İn earth you have the ability to smell, taste, see, feel and hear.

İn water you can sense four things.. but you cannot smell it.


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İn fire you can sense three things.. but you cannot taste or smell it.

Air you cannot see.

Ether you cannot feel on your skin.

Relationship is similar and actually to go deeper into this I could explain how elements and
relationships are more intimately connected. Later maybe.

Now we are out of the rasa as we describe what it is.

As we get to know Krishna we will get to know who he is before forgetting all about the
philosophy and diving into relationship with him.

What relationship depends on who you fall in love with down here. Because the gurus know
what relationship they have with Krishna. And their mood will be your mood too. You will be
unique but you will inherit a certain rasa.

I will save something for later. Because we are still a little way on the journey.



Part 11

Tapasya – austerity for spiritual development

There is something in this world that we keep failing to understand. That is that real
happiness comes from austerity and not indulgence. They are opposites.

Generally in this world people collect, indulge, consume in order to be happy. But the
happiness is fleeting and the suffering drawn out.

On the other hand for one who performs a bit of austerity for the sake of spiritual awakening
(or even for physical and mental health!) the suffering is fleeting and the happiness is drawn
out.

İf you have open eyes you can easily understand that indulgence does not lead to happiness.
İt leads to you being fat. Or it leads to you being addicted to pornography or drugs. İt leads
you (some) to having a big bank account and fast cars and very little wisdom concerning
what comes next. Even the offered revolutions talk about faster trains and more advanced
technology yet those with wisdom realize that speed is not going to get us anywhere.
Because we are ‘here’ to stay!

What comes next? İt depends on what we do now. That is why it is recommended in the
Vedas to utilize this very precious human body for austerity.

There were yogis in ancient times who used to do so many things to achieve different boons,
mystical powers and spiritual enlightenment. There are nine mentioned mystic powers

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including being able to levitate, walk on water, create from thin air, duplicate yourself, visit
different dimensions… etc . You can read Paramahamsa Yogananda if that takes your fancy.
Me… I’m not so fascinated. I want love. And in bhakti yoga you can do stuff for love too
which doesn’t involve so much austerity.

The yogis I just mentioned used to sit in caves for hundreds of years naked, stand on one leg
for years, lie on nails, live inside fire, alsorts of weird and wonderful stuff. İn fact in İndia you
can still see some weird and wonderful stuff. I mentioned Goverdhan hill. Around the 16 km
sadhus bow full length 108 times on the spot before moving to the next body length. 16 km
they go around like this. İt takes about 4 years. They eat what comes to them and sleep with
the snakes in the rain. They have different desires, different material and spiritual goals.

Recently I saw a video of Buddha boy.. one boy who meditated inside a tree for three years
in his teens. İt was impressive. The boy used some Buddhist techniques to live on his own
prana, life-air. Of course, the western reporters couldn’t believe it and looked for conspiracy.
The boy looked beautiful as he gave his first speech after. It was inspiring to see. Despite
Buddhism not being my path or my goal, it is encouraging to see youth meditating rather
than playing play station 3.

We have become useless.

Life is for spiritual wealth and in bhakti yoga there are some austerities that will help with
the dive into the bliss of devotion.

When I started to chant and trust Krishna and Srila Prabhupada I read that a devotee has to
follow four regulative principles. The four regs!! These were

    1)   No meat
    2)   No sex
    3)   No drugs
    4)   No gambling

I was ready to follow and needed a week’s contemplation before giving my life to devotion
because at that time to give up these four things was to give my life to devotion. That is all I
did. I ate meat. I had sex. I took drugs. And … well… I didn’t really gamble. Reg 4 was easy.

I got so happy chanting that I decided to do it. I vowed to follow these regulations and chant
and surrender to the whim of Krishna, who I didn’t really know but trusted was inside my
heart.

That whas a good idea. I was elevated to a platform of happiness which was beyond sex,
beyond drugs.

Replacement. I replaced these indulgences with an austerity which gave more happiness…
immediately. Because I meant it. The vow was sincere.

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Drugs was easy. I didn’t really miss a few joints and the odd mushroom trip of course. I
wasn’t heavily into it. But İ did like sex.

And this regulation … of course… is THE regulation.

İt came back to haunt me after a month of freedom from sex desire.



Because it is not a small thing. İt is the biggest thing. İt creates us. İt destroys us. It uplifts us
and it can bring us down. Sex is another sub heading. İt is another book.

Everything has its use and abuse. İn this world abuse is so easy to fall into. The river’s current
runs rapidly into abuse and therefore Bhagavad-gita teaches us to beware not to go with
that flow. Desire unfulfilled will lead to anger which will lead to frustration which will lead to
delusion. Therefore Prabhupada more or less banned it. He spoke vehemently against it
encouraging celibacy.

And it worked. Many people tasted the fruit of celibacy, which is something like an orgasmic
chill. What experience you have after sex can be had by not having sex at all. However, it is
not the cessation of sex which is important but rather the acquisition of a higher taste. When
you have that higher taste even sex is easily given up. Not so easily but not as difficult as
most would think.



For those who didn’t get a higher taste while chanting sex became too difficult to overcome
and many plopped back into the material pool. Unfortunately, these ‘many’ thought sex and
God were incompatible opposites. Thus to really enjoy sex they had to dispatch of the
philosophy which stopped them from enjoying that too. Krishna helps of course by giving
everyone the feeling that they are right whatever they believe.

God is not opposite of sex. On the contrary. He is the God of sex. He is sex, personified. This
is what is quite confusing for people who meet Hare Krishna devotees. How come your God
is having sex and you cannot? İt is a good question and one which has been answered
by…..’God is God and you are his servant… sex is for God not you.’ But that doesn’t pull
anyone in to bhakti yoga. What kind of God is it that enjoys and keeps you as a slave?

Another answer is ‘Krishna is the only male and we are all females in the highest spiritual
sense.’ İt is true. In an Absolute sense. But on the journey from A to B we are advised to act
according to our position, both temporary and eternal. So there needs to be a closer
examination of what is good for the soul whilst residing in this body.

Rupa Goswami, a respected associate of Chaitanya wrote that one is a great devotee who
can control the tongue, belly and genitals. We waste so much energy by indulging in idle
speech, by consuming too much food and by losing too much energy in sex. Control. Control

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doesn’t mean negate. İt means use not abuse. The use of the tongue in bhakti is to speak
about bhakti and about Radha and Krishna, about sadhana and sadhya. The use of the belly
is to eat food which has been offered to Krishna by mantras which is called Prasad. That food
will clean you of karma and give you the desire for performing more bhakti. And sex. That is
for making devotee children.

Or remembering Krishna.

Because Krishna is the God of sex. His play is very romantic and very erotic. That is known.
What is not known is how exactly that can be. That what is binding and blinding here is
liberating there.

This topic needs a deeper look. For now… I want to glorify tapasya. What Prabhupada saw in
the world was addiction to sex, drugs and meat. The cure then was to give up. I know a way
in which sex can be used in Krishna consciousness…. a tantric path… but Prabhupada spoke
against that too. He had to. You cannot allow an alcoholic a sip of wine. It doesn’t work. One
sip leads to two.

İndulgence is destructive.



The world is indulging in so much meat consumption now which is a gross addiction in
itself… that even the planet is suffering from it. So much water is required to produce fodder
for cattle and the cattle are not animals anymore… they are meat. The most glorious animal.
The sacred cow. Why sacred? Only in Kali yuga does a human being need to ask. I challenged
children at a school I was teaching when they asked me why the cow is sacred in İndia.
‘What would you take to Planet Venus if we had to go and live there and we could take five
things?’

Of course the answers were play station, internet etc.. and the more serious answers…
water, food…. Yes… and what food. Take a cow. Take two… one male and one female. The
cow gives pacha gavya. Five gifts. Milk, yoghurt, ghee, pee and poo! Food… the cow is giving
ice cream. Don’t kill it if you have respect for ice cream or butter or milk. Ghee is regarded as
the best of all foods and is very healthy despite what modern science desires you to believe
(for their very ill agenda). Urine is a medicine for the inside of the body. Cow dung is a
medicine for the outside of the body. Both disinfect and purify. Cow dung is also used to
build houses and make fires and cook food. Need I continue? … oh, and they are so sweet
and friendly. When you love them they love you back.

Meat. Don’t eat it. We can do what we like. We have choıce. But why when we have choice
to we choose pain for others and pleasure for our self? Most religions tell you to stop it. But
when a religion tells you don’t drink blood so you squeeze the blood out of meat and eat



                                                                                               38
that meat…. then it seems we are abusing our intelligence to do what we want anyway.
What is the difference between eating muscle and blood. İs blood bad and muscle good?

The more you eat the more you want to eat. People are gross. Even some devotees get very
fat and use the excuse that they are eating Prasad and it is purifying them. But you only need
a little Prasad to purify you. Again, abusive intelligence.

Drugs. The more you take the more you have to take. Downhill slide. Sex. The more you have
the more you need. Downhill slide.

İt made sense to me to control. To give up altogether. It was the best thing I ever did. For a
couple of years I occasionally slipped. Wanting sex. Feeling like I could never do without it.
But I did not beat myself for that. I continued the medicine. Celibacy. After a couple of years
there was no more desire. And that was a trip. Because I looked at girls very differently. İt
wasn’t a philosophical difference it was a feeling… I wasn’t getting excited but I was very
excited to devote my life to chanting Hare Krishna.

Tapasya. Austerity. Difficult in the beginning but fruitful in the end. When teaching English
recently in a school I asked some students to tell me how long they could go without the
following things for. Then I wrote on the board some words. Food, water, roof, family,
talking, sex (all kinds), internet, mobile, money, make-up, tv, electricity. There were more.



İt was insightful. Because nobody had really observed themselves being without. Most
people in this world just get as much of what they like as they can. The same people ask
what is wrong with the world. This is wrong with the world. The students asked me and I told
them.

I have been without food for 15 days. Eating twice in 45 days.

I have been without water most 24 hours.

I have been without talking for one month.

I have been without sex for 6 years.

I have been without money for 14 years.

I have been without family for 6 years.

I have been without a mobile for 40 years.

I have been without tv and electricity for millions of years…. Only recently have I .. we..
‘needed’ it.




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21.10 my radha the book

  • 1. 1
  • 2. My Radha (a unique guide to the crooked art of intimate devotion) Who is Radha? Radha is the Queen of Love. She is the consort of Krishna. The King of Love. Both exist in a world beyond the senses yet a world which is Absolutely sensual. They are the personifications of the paradox of love itself which ultimately takes over your life and leads you into its secret cavern as the heart gives in to its sweetness. My Radha is about my Radha. A subjective perception of the Object of Love for all fortunate seekers of it. It is a philosophical journey into a world beyond philosophy. A logical look at what lies beyond logic. An emotional portrayal of a relationship which supercedes time itself. 2
  • 3. Contents Part 1 – Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva – the inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference of the Absolute Truth. Part 2 – Atma – the soul Part 3 – Karma – action and reaction Part 4 – Veda – knowledge Part 5 – Yoga – unification Part 6 – Sadhya – the goal Part 7 – Sadhana - the practice Part 8 – Sraddha – trust Part 9 – Guru – the teacher Part 10 – Vraja – the spiritual land Part 11 – Tapasya – austerity for spiritual development Part 12 – Svarupa-siddhi-bhakti – intrinsic devotion Part 13 – Vaidhi bhakti – religious devotion Part 14 – Raganuga – natural devotion Part 15 – Dharma – duty Part 16 – Elevation of consciousness Part 17 – My conscious evolution Part 18 – Avadhuta – spiritual freedom Part 19 – Sahajiya – reflective devotion Part 20 – Family life 3
  • 4. Part 1 Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva – the inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference of the Absolute truth. Before one finds one seeks. Everyone is looking it seems for something. Animals must curiously look on as humans run around in search for the elusive. People find all sorts of replacements for what they are really looking for. Sex, fame, money, security, family. But they don’t satisfy. Not continually. What really satisfies and leaves all other acquisitions seeming worthless is love. Yet our experiences of love are mixed with our own selfishness and others’ selfishness and therefore do not fulfill the dream of eternality. Eternal love is possible however when one comes to understand the nature of the self and the creator of the self, and the love between the two. To understand love is to understand more than the self and the creator of the self. İt is to understand the paradox of the universe. How everything can be one yet different. Acintya Bhedabheda Tattva. This is Sanskrit. I will introduce you to some Sanskrit words, definitions and explanations along the way. Firstly a definition of the Absolute Truth; tattva. The inconceivable simultaneous oneness and difference of the Absolute Truth. İt is worth forever baring in mind that love is inconceivable with mere logic which means it must be experienced to be understood, which in turn means that you have to dive in. You cannot be the judge from the outside, you cannot be a reporter or observer. You must dive in! İt is inconceivable otherwise because it is objective and simultaneously subjective. The truth is not only the same for everyone, it is unique to everyone. We are not seeking the created, we are seeking the source of creation, and more, a loving relationship with that source. And that source is free. İt may contradict you as soon as you feel like you can put your finger on it. Yet it never contradicts itself for from the outset it is defined as a contradiction. And therefore it is free, unlimited. And therefore you will be free when you understand this paradoxical nature of reality. Because we have always sought the created we transpose our efforts to the real endeavour and make mistakes in conclusions due to mistakes made in the beginning. The seed of philosophical misconclusions leads then to the fruit of incorrect assumptions, actions and ultimately it will lead to imprisonment in a dimesion created for and by prisoners. I have seen it many times. People assume something about you because they look at you through the lens of their tinted philosphies. İnevitably you appear tinted …and tainted! İn fact this is 4
  • 5. happening constantly with everyone all over the world. And it is why we cannot get together and stay together to create peace and love despite wanting just that. Not many people can see straight. With unbiased vision. People attached to some doctrine or averse to some belief system make incorrect assumptions on premises which are not their own, and not absolutely correct. While this is happening those with greedy intentions rule the planet by deceit and corruption. Right before our eyes the lies go unnoticed and when they are noticed there is nothing ‘we’ can do because ‘we’ cannot get together and stay together in the name of love. İn these times there is much said about government conspiracies. You don’t need to be Sherlock Homes to realize that most of them are true. The details and the depth of the rabbit hole are debatable but for sure society and its imposed game of monopoly is not breeding a culture of compassion. İt is difficult to change the trend as the thrones of this world are occupied by dictators with agendas other than peace and love and they are not going to be given up in a way which good people would like. The rulers of this society rule by indoctrinating the people with incorrect philosophies knowing that these seeds will reep the fruits of separation between brothers. Ignorance leads to our enslavement and our unhappiness. Knowledge leads us out of ignorance into light and beyond, into relationship with the source of light. Once you are on the path of real knowledge you are on an incredible journey home. Once many people unite on that path then a culture emerges and naturally, yet with great effort, the new culture entices souls into it so that each soul has a world conducive for love. Knowledge can change the world. But for the forest to thrive each tree needs to understand itself. Part 2 Atma – the soul What or who are we? We have to know. We are soul. Atma. Jiva. The Vedic scriptures describe the atma (soul) as a substance which is one sixteen thousandth the width of a hair follicle. And if you do ever manage to make a microscope which can see that small then know too that it is not visible to the eye. So. Don’t bother. İnstead try and understand the characteristics of the atma. What makes a soul a soul. Till the qualities and uses of a thing is known there is no importance in its shape or size. A bottle is not a bottle till you use it as one. Otherwise it is atoms. As everything is. Of course, there are philosophers and philosophies which revere this knowledge. Everything is atoms. Everything is Brahman. Everything just is. And when you put a definition on it you 5
  • 6. are making a mistake. When you add your ego and bring in subjectivity you are making the mistake of duality. We are one. Brahman. İt is true. And now let us proceed to lesson two. Osho interestingly, after speaking much about Buddhism, said about Vaishnavism, ‘where Buddha ends Krishna begins.’ Meaning ‘where freedom ends love begins.’ Love is the play upon the stage of freedom. We must understand freedom. That we are one. That we are non-different. And then the play can commence. So immediately we move to the subjective, and without denying it, we understand it and how it is used to provide constant happiness. The atma is an experiencer. İt is life-force itself. İndividualized life-force. Non-individualized life-force is called Brahman. That is the goal of some spiritual seekers. But the experience of nirvana is just that …‘an’ experience. One of many. I have experienced it. İn meditation one day after some penance (I fasted for 15 days), I merged with everything. I saw myself from outside of myself. İt was freedom. And then I came back and returned to a simple soul desiring love. Once you desire love not even nirvana can you attract you away from it! İndividualized life-forces we are. Life-forces with a purpose. To unite. İn love. Not objectively, but subjectively. We do not need to blend completely to experience our highest potential. We may remain individual. İf our highest experience would require merger then it would be considered the highest goal of mankind. But higher is the goal of love. That is to merge and remain individual at the same time through the means of love. That is the greater experience and thus is the greater goal. THE greatest goal. Life-forces are forces of life. There is no death to life. You cannot die. The atma is continually existing in some state or other. This knowledge is experiencable. Knowledge is an experience because the truth is objective and subjective, so the answer to the question ‘how do you’ is ‘I know because I know’. There is no prof you can give because two souls exchanging information are on different platforms and may be unable to perceive the same state of reality. İt is very important. Proof is an experience and belongs to the subjective realm and knowledge is an attainment of the soul and not the intellect or mind. Knowlecge is not mere information therefore to know you have to dive in. You have to be ready to let go of the misconceptions. And you have to understand that proof is in the heart of the beholder. This is soul science. You exist. You have always and will always. Understanding this will leave you feeling…. Eternal. Understanding and feeling will become the same when you understand the Absolute. No-one has ever died. No-one will ever die. İt is impossible. So there are two considerations. Eternity or death. İf you understand eternity then you have no fear of death. 6
  • 7. İf you believe you will die then you may have fear of death.. but you shouldn’t. Because if it were the case, then you would be no more, and being no more you are not going to have a bad experience. So chill out. Truth is. People are not chilled out because though they may believe they will die, they feel the impulse to live which is naturally there in the soul. Because it does live. İt is only the ignorance which causes the stress. And ignorance is dispelled by knowledge. There is no end. You will never experience it. There have been many people who ‘died’ and returned to say, ‘I didn’t die.’ There are many been people who remember life before their birth. No-one is ever really born. We are always ‘here’, present as existing life-forces. And it is always now. Part 3 Karma – action and reaction So what is this life. This body. This movie. İt is just that. A movie. İn which you are the lead actor or actress, according to which body you have ‘this time’ acquired. Life after life you live, transmigrating through species after species, body after body. Leaving one body you adopt another. İt is not you. İt is an adopted body (mind and intelligence) which will not continue in its form for long. İt will be eaten by worms, and decayed by bacteria or burned by fire. And you will move on into your next body. There is no doubt that this is how it is. Not in me or anyone else who can see clearly. And there are many who can see at least this far. However, we live in a world where people do not know this. İt is not accepted fact. Only maybe in İndia. Although İndia is not a place right now where you can point your finger to give an example of prosperity, there is something in the eyes and hence in the hearts of the İndian people which is obviously settled. This very detectable contentment is due to correct understanding of the self as atma, eternal soul. Re-incarnation. Here we are. Here is the movement upon the immovable self. How it happens is not so difficult to understand. Everyone can conceive of a soul leaving the body, being in a state of separation from body, and then entering a body. Leaving and entering we are able to observe. İnbetween is more mysterious but not so important to understand as it is not something you can do much about. What is important is to know why it happens how it happens. Why it happens like it happens is the question. Why this body? Why not that one? What creates the body, mind, intelligence and movie that we sense, feel and experience? 7
  • 8. Good question! Answer – you do! You are the mini-director of your mini-movie. Only you have forgotten this fact and therefore you feel like the movie is just happening to you without any influence by you. You are out of control it seems. And if it seems like that then it is like that. But you can take control. And this is the wisest of wise advice. Take control. To take control you first have to understand the initial fact that what is happening is the consequence of you – of your actions. And also your desire. Karma. Your actions are creating reactions. İt is very simple science. As you sew so shall you reap. İt is not a hidden philsosophy or one that our teachers have not taught. The whole of our religious information is there to encourage you to act in a way that will bring you a good life. Religion in its essence is there to inspire you to behave in a suitable way so that you can reap the benefits of that. Because that is how you direct your movie. İt is no use belonging to a religion and not understanding this. There is nothing to belong to. Religion is an idea. You cannot belong to an idea. You can be inspired by that idea. That is useful. İt may be that religions have become businesses down the years and popes and bishops and sadhus and gurus have made money from your willingness to belong to their group. But that is your fault. Not the fault of religion. Similarly if you reject the inspiration given by the sources of these religions to behave beneficially because of the fact that these religions have been corrupted then you will fall into another category of belonging which also will not help you. You will consider yourself non-religious. And remain as ignorant as the one belonging to a religion but not understanding its encouragement. These days the atheists are more religious than the religious too, adhering to doctrines and philosophies propounded by people who are anti-establishment. As bodies, so too establishments will inevitably crumble in time. But the message will linger forever. Knowers of truth therefore are never sentimentally attached to establishments or religions of this world though they may create and utilize them for gathering people thirsty for education. Essence will continue and form will come and go. The esence is the message that you ought to act in such a way that your present and your future will be fortunate. Fortune and misfortune are your creations. You are creating your problems. And therefore you can create your solutions. No-one can stop you. Satan cannot stop you. The illuminati cannot stop you. Not even death can stop you. Because you will continue where you left off in the next life. The spiritual path continues where you left off. But if you are not even on that path you will be under the cosh of your karma. No doubt. You are playing tennis with yourself against a brick wall and smacking the ball as hard as you can and then wondering why the ball is coming back so fast. The difference between the happy 8
  • 9. people you see in this world and the unhappy is the happy people are watching their ball head towards the wall and the unhappy people are watching their ball return from it. That is all. Don’t think the greedy will be smiling for long. As they sew they will reap. Maybe not in this lifetime but in the next or the one after that. As we are eternal so is our karma. We have accrued a whole mass of it and it waits its day to come to you so that you may prepare a backhand, forehand or smash. İt doesn’t necessarily appear immediately and this throws everyone out. Because ‘how do bad people succeed and good people fail?’ Actually bad people never succeed and good people never fail but you have to know that there is only one thing worthy of success. And that is love. Which delivers eternity, knowledge and bliss. (sat, cit, ananda in Sanskrit). Followers of Jesus may have taught that if you get 51% or more in your ‘goodness’ exam you go to heaven and if you get 49% or less you go to hell, but this is making black and white the unlimitedly colourful for the benefit of simplification. From that you can understand that you affect your destiny. Not that there is a line and two places to visit either side of it. There are innumberable places and these places are bodies (minds, intelligences, ego) and planets. You are in your own self-designed hell or heaven. And that is fact. Now you can lump this fact and step back onto the eternal treadmill of ignorance or you can ask a few more pertinent questions and receive a few more pertinent answers. After which you can choose how to act. Real religion as you may come to know will give you Absolute Freedom. The essence of religion of course, and not the form. A few questions arise here. Why is the population changing if we are all reincarnated? This is one. How can I understand if reincarnation and karma are true? This is a better one. The first question is easily answered by understanding that all life-forms have life-forces. This then includes animals and plants and any other life that may exist on other planets and in other dimensions if you can open yourself to the fact that the Earth may well be like a grain of sand on a beach in the context of Everything! People who ask this first question usually stop asking any more. The second is the pertinent one. How can you understand? It may sound like a good philosophy or a probable truth but it also may be some other information in the mass of information coming at you. 9
  • 10. Part 4 Veda - knowledge There is a way to understand what karma is. Not what your personal karma is. There is no point in trying to unravel it though some cults like Scientology get into this. For a start you are connected to other things. You have relationships with other beings. You have the influence of other planets. You have boons from above and curses from below. Business relationships and love relationships tying you together with angels and demons. İt is all quite complicated. But the solution is simple. Yoga. Yoga is a way for you to understand. Every goal has a way. A process. A sadhana. Now the word yoga may conjure images of ladies in leotards on daytime TV but İ’m sure you are one of those aware of its deeper roots. The roots in fact are as deep as you can get. And this is Absolutely Quintessential.. shall I say, for want of emphasis. Knowledge descends. Knowledge descends. Knowledge descends. In Vedic literature that information which is important is repeated three times. This knowledge is regarding Vedic literature itself. İt is descending knowledge. Pure. Uncontaminated. From the source. There are two types of knowledge. Revealed and empirical. That which descends and that which we ‘research’ in order to ascend. İn the ascending process we do not really know the goal but piece by piece we put a puzzle together, then retract, and piece again. Modern science and modern philosophers use this process and modern society pushes this process into your schools and colleges and mocks the descending process as it does so. A respected philosopher must come up with something new or debunk the previous philosopher. İt is based on competition. And philosophers are constantly winning prizes for their victories over other philosophers. Yet how long is the piece of string which they are holding? And that is just length…. Life is not a piece of string. İt cannot be understood in its entirety by this method. On the other hand it can be understood in its entirety by the method which descends. Teachers in this field of knowledge merely pass down knowledge from the source through an 10
  • 11. unbroken chain known as parampara (disciplic succession). Knowledge is complete in the beginning and it remains complete by the efforts of purified souls. There is no reward for new information. There is rather respect and acknowledgement given to those who have preserved the essence without adding or subtracting anything from it. İt is not a competition. İt is a family. The preservers of knowledge are not famous in society, they are known by seekers who are sincere in their attempts to discover original wisdom in all its preserved glory. Here we meet the two prerequisites to Absolute knowledge. The creator and the preserver. The scripture and the guru. What is known of yoga should be known through scripture and guru. Scripture is itself the storehouse of knowledge and the guru is the book-keeper, the one who has realized the book. One praises and adheres to the other. I will go deeper into the guru tattva as we go on but now I want to bring attention to the Vedic scriptures. There are four main books which were written by Vedavyasa, an accepted incarnation of Godhead, over 5000 years ago. Accompanying them are Puranas, which are commentaries of these four books, written to simplify the knowledge for mankind. There is also the Mahabharat and Ramayana which are lengthy poems given to help each soul realize the essence of life. The Bhagavad-gita is the essence of the Mahabharat and a concise and simple explanation of yoga. Therefore what I am writing about is coming from the Bhagavad-gita, as pure as I can possibly manifest it. I have studied with great teachers and traversed the path of bhakti-yoga now for 16 years, which is the most heralded of all the paths of yoga. I have no desire to attain anything from writing. I am merely attempting to open a door for anyone who wants to come through it. I am not going to get rich or famous by this book. I have written books before. They linger on computer files. What compels me to write is merely the wish to share what is incredible knowledge. And if that is exciting and inspiring and being accepted by one person it is time well spent. Everything is covered in Bhagavad-gita. There are no holes. There are no questions unanswered. Till you get deeper and then Srimad Bhagavatam takes over and answers all your esoteric questions that arise which are provoked by the same book. İt is fantastic. I say it to those of you who have not yet tasted this knowledge and to those of you who like to be reminded. İt is wonderful. Let us not forget. 11
  • 12. Part 6 Yoga - unification Yoga means union. İt is the way to unite. With yourself, with others, with nature and with God. Knowledge regarding yoga comes primarily from the Bhagavad-gita which delinates three different yoga paths. They are karma-yoga, jnana yoga (pronounced gyana), and bhakti yoga. Astanga yoga and hatha yoga and other yoga systems are propounded in other texts. They are mainly to do with using the body, which is seen as a temple, to come to the health in which meditation is easily achieved. Yoga as a form of fitness is obviously not a bad idea… but not the intended goal. Karma-yoga is a process by which one concentrates on purifying one’s existence by performing acts of atonement and sacrifice in order to achieve good karma and hence prosperity for future lives. The path was followed years ago but is now practically impossible because it depends a lot on specific mantras and times to chant them, and much of this information, and required purity to practice has been lost. (Although we here much about humanity’s evolution, according to Vedic wisdom humanity is actually devolving. Jnana-yoga is to realize Brahman, the undifferentiated essence of God, through meditation. Again, it is now practically impossible as it takes immense austerity and considerable time undisturbed to perfect. Bhakti-yoga is the easiest, most practical, and what is recommended in the Bhagavad-gita itself. Bhakti means devotion. Bhakti-yoga is the art of unifying with the self, others, nature and God through by devoting ones self. To love. İt is the path of love. And all are welcome to walk it. From the very beginning of understanding I was attracted by how universal was this philosophy. There is no hierarchy considered. There are no restrictions regarding race, gender or social standing. Although there is the caste system in İndia, that has been abused over the years (in this age called Kali Yuga), and even in times when it was followed with purity, bhakti was considered aloof from it. A bhakta (a devotee) was and is considered free from society’s hierarchy and dogma. One on the path of love belongs only to love. So bhakti-yoga is a way out of samsara, the cycle of birth and death created by karma. İt is the way because it is love’s way and ultimately all paths will lead this way eventually. We are in the matrix. And it is wise to know it and transcend it. But where to? Next question. İf we are leaving karma then where are we going. Answer. Lila. 12
  • 13. We have discussed how there are unlimited places, (bodies and planets), which one can enter to continue the experience of life, so what is the best body and best planet to aquire or attend? The best body is a body which resonates not in this material dimension but in a superior dimension where pure love vibrates through everything. Even the body. That body will be free from the subtle and gross contaminations of the material world. That body will reside on a planet which is also free from contamination and full of pure love. That body will reside with other bodies which are pure love incarnate in a play which is directed by unconditional love. İt is hard to describe of course without sounding like someone overdosing on Absolute Superlatives. But I have experienced this dimension. It is not just a dream. İt is reality. And it is a reality that can be touched upon in this life before completely attending. By the process of bhakti-yoga you will come to know your future and you will come to design it simultaneously. Upon achieving the goal of bhakti which is prema (unconditional love) one will not be connected to one’s previous karma but rather to the new vibration. You will experience the here and now and at the same time the here and now in another dimension. That is prema tattva. I will get to it later. Back down to Earth. From the beginning it is important to know the goal ! so as we walk the path we know where we’re going and exactly how to get there. Not only that. No-one is alone. It is a path where embracing others on the path is not only an aspect but a necessity. Many spiritual teachers in this new age are teaching how free you are that you do not need anyone. And that sounds sweet in a world where we are sick of everyone. And therefore such philosophies are popular. But bhakti means love and love’s prerequisite is a lover. On the path of jnana (teoretıcal knollage) there is no need of help. You can do it yourself. But on the path of love d-i-y sounds like masturbation. Why masterbate when you can make love? İt is the age of masturbation where spiritual seekers proudly fly the flag of freedom. Freedom however is a pipe-dream for such people because we need each other. And we either relate in business or in love. We create by business or love. Real freedom takes absolute solitude and there are not many people who have the balls or ability to do that in this world today. And why would you want to be alone if you were to have the power? There is a major difference between freedom and love. And it is important to understand it. I have seen and can still see many devotees who speak love but adhere to freedom. Freedom is considered on the path of love as a witch. I wondered why. Travelling the world for 10 years and meeting and speaking to different people I now understand. Freedom as a goal is a big obstacle in the path of love and impossible to achieve without the aid of love. 13
  • 14. There is a major distinction between different schools of spiritual thought. One school has a teacher who says I’m the teacher. The other has a teacher who says you don’t need a teacher. The teacher will always be there but the teacher who teaches that you can do-it- yourself allows you to keep your ego. For the only place you can get rid of your ego is at the feet of (under the guidance of) someone else. Humility is the process of ridding oneself of ego and to be humble you need someone to be humble in front of. The humble teacher may tell you ‘no.. I am not a teacher’ out of humility or he may tell you the same thing out of awareness that the teacher must be humble. Understand. Till you humbly find a humble teacher of love you are…… lost, wandering around a competitive dimension crying freedom. Teachers who teach you that you are found when you are lost are probably making a lot of money from it because it is poetry to the ears and to the ego to know that you don’t need anyone else to attain enlightenment. I have seen in anarchy groups. There are always leaders. And if you say I am a good leader.. I can play drums, they will says… ‘we don’t need leaders here’ and all the naïve disciples follow them and repeat their mantra. There are of course gurus who are not really gurus but who are making a living from the naïve. But there are gurus who are in it out of love. That guru will be so dear to you that all his or her positive qualities will rub off on your sincere soul to mix with your own very unique personality. And you will be you like you never could have imagined. Part 6 Sadhya – the goal I have just returned from an eco-festival in Switzerland. It was nice but nice really drags after a while when you sense that void, which you yourself don’t have, attempted to be filled by thousands of new age techniques to heal yourself. I am laughing with my friend. How come all these people are so sick they need so much healing? When it comes to the dance all are stuck. There was a folk band playing the main stage (which was small but still main), and everyone’s feet were rooted to the ground. The therapies obviously didn’t work because you cannot stay still to the fiddle! Something is underlying. Don’t get me wrong, I also practice reiki and massage and advocate bio products and environmental friendliness. But where are the Krishna devotees with the free food and the dancing in ecstasy? Where is God? God it seems is a swear word in today’s spiritual conventions: this is Kali-yuga. 14
  • 15. Chaitanya Mahaprabhu walked the Earth about 500 years ago. He was a beauty. An incarnation of love. The incarnation of love! He became a renowned scholar in the home of scholarship in Bengal. He defeated all theories and philosophies with acintya bhedabheda tattva… made disciples of those he defeated… and then went on hari nama sankirtana. He went dancing. And he insisted that this was all the meditation anyone need. Dancing. Singing. Eating. This is God consciousness. İt is a lot of fun. God knows how people managed to miss it. Because the wave of Krishna consciousness seems to have passed with people either still surfing or remembering the revolution that was. Prabhupada was a revolutionary. What a man! He hitch-hiked on a boat to USA from İndia at the age of 70 and plonked himself in the middle of Golden Gate Park and Haight Ashbury, amongst the hippies, and chanted Hare Krishna. The rest Krishna took care of. He just told people about God. Some listened. They brought their friends. They listened and printed books and hired a shop and brought some friends and then the Beatles came along and George Harrison began surfing the wave and the wave spread around the world. Hundreds of temples, millions of books given out, sold, and conned into people’s possession. The activities of some devotees may have been a little uncouth but Prabhupada for sure played a huge part in spiritually awakening this world. Just to see a video of Srila Prabhupada makes you cry. He is so sweet. İt may hurt when he says you are a dog if you are not serving God but that is the ego. The pain goes away with the ego. God is missing in the spiritual arena. And it feels very eerie and pretentious. After all, who wants to admit defeat? Who wants to admit that the healing just isn’t working? Most are making a living from it. Mantra and tantra a big business but don’t mention God because the customers will run away. No. You are all you need. For years I tried to introduce Krishna in a new light seeing that millions of people were interested in a conscious awakening and a spiritual revolution. Karma, reincarnation, vegetarianism, lila, mantra, tantra, Siva Shambol! But there comes a point where the door is open and the most glorious beautiful truths offers itself… and bump.. the ego cannot squeeze through. God. Let me unapologetically explain this most subtle and original phenomena. (Following this book’s thread,) we now know we are atma, eternal, indestructible soul. We know the atma transmigrates through samsara, the cycle of birth and death. I mentioned three systems of yoga and that the easiest and most revered and recommended is called bhakti. So bhakti is a path… a spiritual path leading one from ignorance to enlightenment and beyond that into the arms of the original Lover. 15
  • 16. God. The Lover. God has three aspects. Brahman, Paramatma and Bhagvan. The undifferentiated all- pervading energy is Brahman. İt is the highest goal of the impersonal yogis. Thus they aim to rid themselves of i.d. Be free. And unite forever with this .. oneness which has no form, no i.d, no character, no personality and consequently no play. Paramatma is the living force. The conglomerate of atmas, souls. Here there is recognition of diversity. The animate and the inanimate. Yogis see all souls as equal. Devotees see all souls as equal yet different. I will explain as we go because this philosophy of acintya bhedabheda tattva runs right through all the other aspects of the Absolute. Then we have Bhagavan. God. The person. Retract or embrace. That is what the sools do when confronted by Bhagavan. Bhagavan is the Supreme Personality of Godhead. He is the creator. You may have noticed that the Earth is genius. Well it is because it had a genius creator. Not that it came to be through chance. Chance is secondary to consciousness. İf you are aware of this you are less likely to be blinded by the conspiracies of evil governments. Because they want you to believe in chance. They also want you to belong to a religion which doesn’t educate you too and they pull off it off with apparent ease. Even conspiracy theorists will tell you that the evil governments have made you believe in God to make you impotent. Obedience to religion can make you impotent but not devotion to God. God does not make you impotent. God makes you potent. Because like father like son. Like creator like created. We are little Gods for Godsake and if we live for God’s sake for Godsake then we will have all the power of God. İf you are in touch with the Supreme the Supreme works through you. All that is to do then is to be a vessel for love. And as love passes through you to everyone else you will be enblissed by it. What’s the problem? The problem is the ego. The ego is where we are at. İt is not going to let us get on a path which is going to destroy it. Bhakti yoga is not difficult. The only difficulty is letting go of the ego. And that is very difficult. Here is the paradox. The catch 22. But if you can crack it… if something inspires you to trust something above yourself… someone outside the well, then all will be well. Otherwise you are just going to join some meditation group and have some quack tell you that you are all you need. Like I said.. it is the age of masturbation. 16
  • 17. ‘God cannot have a body!’ People say it. Even those who believe in God say he cannot…. He cannot what… You cannot do this or that… for God there is no problem. He is the origin. The iltgghujıı efrd r gdeew v nvmnventor. The computer cannot tell the programmer what he can’t do!!! The programmer can do anything and everything. He is unlimited. She is unlimited. They are unlimited. And by unlimited one should not think of formless. İt is a small logic to consider that God should be anythingLESS. The form of God is something inconceivable to a small minded man with no real information. But it is easy to consider if you understand that the Absolute can appear finite if it likes. İf you can consider this then we can move on to discuss why exactly the Absolute enjoys this apparent finite manifestation. God the Person is an experience of bliss. Bliss.. or ananda… is the goal of life. İt is the meaning of life. God tastes bliss because he wants to. And he gives the taste to all who really want to because he wants to give it. That pleases God and it pleases the atma. There is no business man here. This is a pure love relationship. We are in a business world. Wake up! They are making conspiracy. God is not a business man. There may be many speaking about God who are because what do you think the other guy does. He cheats. So the biggest cheaters are those who use God’s name for business. But be clear. Not to be cheated. By 1) Not having anything to do with them 2) Not letting others convince you that because religion is corrupt God does not exist. Religions are there to help you connect to God. İf they are not doing that they are useless or corrupt. Most are corrupt because we live in these times. But please…. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water. Then satan’s army win hands down. They put on robes.. dress religious… rape your children.. .and you become atheists and follow down his path to … where to… anywhere…nowhere… somewhere…. samsara… the matrix. We are in the matrix. The world of maya, illusion. Maya is a recognized word nowadays and people take its meaning in different ways. One way is the Buddhistic way. Maya is illusion. Unreal. This world is a dream and therefore don’t give any meaning to it, transcend it, and come to the platform of nirvana. Mayavadis (followers of the impersonal path) will say the same only their goal is Brahman. There is little difference between nirvana and Brahman. Zero and One are exactly the same if there is no Two. Many Krishna devotees see Maya as that evil attractress dragging you back into the matrix from the goal of transcendence and Krishna Consciousness. The Vedic scriptures explains that maya is two-fold. The phantasmagoria itself. The tangible world around us. The object. And the perception of it. The subjective. The illusion is primarily subjective. The objective is just a type of God’s energy. A creation enabling the individualized souls to feel at home away from home. 17
  • 18. Real home is not in this phantasmagoria of a material world but the phantasmagoria of a spiritual world. The material world is known as mahamaya. The spiritual world is known as yogamaya. So maya is not necessarily a bad thing. İt is not something or somewhere to run away from. Bhakti-yoga therefore is not an escape away from anywhere….. from samsara, from maya, from the material world. But it is an embrace of a superior energy. Embracing that superior energy naturally relinquishes you from the shackles of the inferior energy. Karma is destroyed. The bonds of action created over millions of lifetimes are destroyed by bhakti- yoga without ever trying to understand how. It is quite simple to understand. When you love you feel good. When you feel good you don’t feel bad. When there is light there is no dark. You cannot get rid of darkness before turning the light on. You turn the light on and the darkness disappears. You cannot get rid of air before putting water in a cup. You add water and air disappears. So this is the positive path of love. You add. There is no subtraction. There is no working on your evils. Trying to uproot your anger and fear and jealousy and hatred and greed. You just love. You just love God. Because love’s pre-requisite is a lover. And God is the original lover whose love is connected to everything. Therefore to love God is to love the root of the tree of life. Trying to love all and avoid God is like trying to constantly water the innumerable leaves of a tree. İt is useless. The attempt may look impressive to onlookers. As the opposite attempt to love God may look unimpressive and neglective to onlookers. But actually real love has to come through the source of creation. Once you get a little bit of this love from the source you love everything and everyone equally….. and differently. Equally is important at this stage of understanding because that is the oneness experience, the sustenance, offered by love. The different ways to love are like flavours of that food. And this we will discuss later. I am going through aspect after aspect of bhakti yoga to give you an insight into the fullness of it. İt is complete. Each aspect can be described and explained in incredible detail. And in fact it has. There is so much bhakti literature, so much wisdom given to humanity from great souls who have awakened their highest potential as lovers of God. They have related the great Vedas in simplified ways. İn complex ways. İn fun ways. İn serious ways. İn poetry. İn prose. İn art. İn dance. İn music. İn their exemplary lives they have lived. Bhakti yoga reveals your highest self and nurtures your eternal relationship with the Absolute… .. the Absolute Absolute being Bhagavan… God. İt nurtures your relationships with each other and with Mother Earth. İt does not contradict other spiritual paths or doctrines but rather solidifies, completes and reconciles all paths so that the final journey, the goal of all paths may be finally realized. 18
  • 19. There is a way disseminated. There is a goal revealed. Sadhana and sadhya. Where are you? Where are you going? How are you going to get there? What are the obstacles? What are the positive signs that you are going in the right direction? What are the changes in consciousness? How will you perceive? How will you be perceived? All these pertinent questions and much more are described in beautiful, graceful texts written by those who love God and All. I will try to convey and do the same. Part 7 Sadhana – the practice We have discussed what the goal is so now let us discuss what is the sadhana – the way to the goal! What is the practice practiced in order to achieve the goal of love of God. There must be a practice. There must be something one can do to succeed. And bhakti sadhana is just that. Bhakti is a science. There is no need for belief. İn the beginning you can experiment with the sadhana until faith becomes your eternal possession. There is a difference between belief and faith. Let us scrutinize the words in order to understand what is what. Belief belongs to sentimentality. İf you check religions around the world you will see that belief is regarded as the goal of those religions. İf you believe in Jesus then you are saved. İf you believe in Allah you are saved. And thus you don’t have to worry about what happens in your life because you will go to heaven when you die. I can say nothing to these people because they will not have got this far in the book. But maybe you realize the counter-productive sentimentality in that. İt is counter productive because one who believes and believes that belief is enough is not going to do any sadhana.. work towards refining one’s consciousness… nor is he going to do anything altruistic because this life is just something to pass by and leave behind. I say don’t believe in Krishna… in Radha… but take the time to inquire… and to experiment with the practice that I am absolutely sure will reveal everything to you. The sadhana WİLL lead you to the goal. That goal is a conscious state. A state of love. And in that state of love you will perceive a subtle world which is ordinarily beyond perview. Science. Experiment and see. There are things to do which will lead to inner development and a higher vibrational level. That itself is a wonder. That itself is grace. Another concept to get straight. Grace. Once you accept God then how is it that you need to do something to achieve God. İs God not in complete control and you just an impotent spark waiting for help? 19
  • 20. Again.. consciousness invites you to embraces opposite poles. Grace and graft are to be understood simultaneously. Yes. Everything is coming from grace. That you will perceive later if not already. But you have to graft for it. And this is the real grace. God is giving you some control because that is why he created you. So that you and he can live individually and experience the fun of this inter-active movie. Sadhana is interaction. I said earlier that ‘you’ create your movie, that ‘you’ should take control of your life and act positively to create a positive life. However, we have decided to go down the love path and in this love path is the lover and the Absolute nature of the Lover. You do not have power. The Absolute Lover has all the power and you are an infinitesimal atma desiring to relate to that power. You are the creator. You are the created. You are the master. You are the servant. How the paradox is true you will understand, by practice and by grace simultaneously. From the beginning you do not have to accept God or grace. You do not have to believe in a boy with a flute who is living in another world enjoying with his dearest. On the journey from A to B we do not have to believe beyond our perception. We just have to have the interest to inquire sincerely. And to take up the offer given by devotees like me. Try it! Sincerely. I guarantee anyone will be successful in meeting with God. I can prove God to you. But there is a way. You can get butter from milk but you have to do something. Sadhana. That sadhana is a mood and an action because all actions are enacted in a mood. So the mood is sincerity. Honest inquiry. That is all. And the sadhana is mantra. Primarily. Are you ready? Here is where we dive into experience, holding hands of philosophy on a journey under the ocean of love. İf you don’t dive then what I say from here may just seem wishy-washy to you. İf you are looking at the ocean from above the water what you see will be disturbed by the water’s surface. İt will appear unstable. So dive if you are a scientist. İf you are sincere. Honest. Because I am a scuba diver. I know what is inside this ocean. And all it takes is for you to dive. You may surface again whenever you like. Mantra. Mantra-ray…. Ha ha. I have actually scuba dived in Hawaii with manta-rays but this type of diving is with mantra. Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare 20
  • 21. This is the mantra. Chant this mantra. To yourself. Out loud. On beads. On your fingers. Count. Don’t count. As you feel. But here is my advice. Take my advice. Forget Hare Krishnas. You are not joining a cult. You can if you want but this is not essential. Cults in this world are all temporary and they may help you with an eternal quest or not. This is individual science right now. So forget about anyone else. Don’t worry about image. All images that you may try to emulate are worthless. Fashion is transitory and you are not. So forget about being cool. Cool people are usually stupid when it comes to what matters. Concentrate. On sound. The mantra works because sound is creative. That has been scientifically proven by modern science as well as ancient science. The mantra is a sound which is vibrating love right through it. Female love and masculine love. For Hare is the secret sound for Radha, the feminine deity of love. And Krishna and Rama are both names of the masculine deity of love. For now.. again.. you do not have to believe in deities. I am just explaining what the sounds are. You will come to realize… not believe…. REALİZE what I am saying to be true. Ego; ‘No I won’t’ İntelligence; ‘Ego, quiet a while I am just experimenting. What is wrong with experimenting?’ Ego; ‘Don’t trust anyone. Everyone is after something. Your money or your energy. Put the beads down. This is a cult.’ You will hear this voice as you chant. İt will tell you a million and one reasons why what you are doing is stupid. İt is not you. Chant and listen to the words. When you hear the voice arguing with you just hear that too. And then hear the words again. Be patient. There is bound to be an argument because what you are doing is separating your self from your ego. The more you concentrate and meditate and chant you will be able to more clearly perceive these two different ‘yous’. Ego and self. İt is something quite exhilarating. After a while you will be able to defeat your own ego 21
  • 22. Ego; ‘He is just saying that to trap you. You are going to be brainwashed and then you will give all your money to some guru. You don’t need a guru. Love is inside of you. Stop chanting this stupid mantra…’ Self; Hare Krishna Hare Krishna …… You won’t need to argue anymore. You will know. Because you will FEEL that what you doing is giving you great awareness. İt is not brainwashing you in the sense of cult brainwashing.. but yes… your brain becomes clean enough to be able to detect your own ego and ignore it. Once you ignore it for a while it disappears. The mind, the ego.. whatever you want to call it… that voice which tries to perpetuate your suffering… will become a distant voice. And you will become CLEAN. My personal experience of chanting in the beginning was like this. And many many people tell similar stories. I will tell you mine. I started chanting and it was very weird at first. But I liked it. The first thing I noticed was how much I started to notice Krishna everywhere. Devotees on the street. People chanting on the underground in London. Pictures, books, music in clubs with mantra in the mix… Co-incidence. Wow. That was a big one. My life started to get very well timed. I was thinking of someone and bumping into them two minutes later. Stuff like this. The rays were getting through. Chanting is like wiping mud from your windscreen with windscreen wipers. Your thick mud- like karma, accrued over millions of life-times, is difficult to remove. İn the beginning it may seem like there is no effect. Of course… remember… your mood is important. İf you are chanting in order to prove chanting a hoax then of course you will get all the signs that it is a hoax. People will come up to you and tell you… ‘chanting is a hoax’ because the chanting does this. İt fulfills your desire. İf you want to disprove it. You will succeed. İf you want to prove it. You will succeed. İf you don’t want anything. İf you are merely experimenting. Then you will see clearly. And that is why I say mood is important. Because it is important to be clear. Don’t believe chanting is good or bad. Just listen to the sound… sincerely. I trusted my own sincerity. That was my trust in the beginning. I didn’t trust any Hare Krishna. I did not meet any Hare Krishna in the beginning. I read Bhagavad-gita. Another good idea. Another sadhana. 22
  • 23. Sravana. Hearing… reading the sastra… the scripture. The truth: Krİshna consciousness is not a sentimental thing. İt is the acquisition of wisdom which will light up the heart with sat cit ananda. Eternity, knowledge and bliss. These three thİngs are to be acquİred naturally through sadhana: One thing is for sure as I write. That everyone readİng is in a different place; a different conscious space: Some people will believe in God, some people will not. Some people will have been to İndia: some won’t. Some people will feel they belong to some religion or some culture or some nationality. Some will feel aloof from all definition. As we enter the sadhana I would like to make it clear that there is a simple message that I would like to put out. You have to trust yourself. Everything boils down to trust. İn this world you either trust someone who is not worthy of trust. You trust no-one. Or you trust someone who is worthy of trust. There may be only 5 percent of people in this world worthy of trust. There may be less than 1 percent. But I am absolutely sure that I am in that little category. I am absolutely sure of myself. Positive. And that is how we must be. Sure of our self. Because the key to success is sincerity and trust in one’s self. When you trust your self you can then trust others. Those who trust no-one do not trust themselves. İt is an irony worth mentioning. A new age fad. ‘Do not trust anyone. Trust only yourself:’ but if you trust your self you will trust those trustworthy, naturally. Because if you trust your self you will be alert to who is worthy of trust. And then you will get a feeling: ah; this person is worthy of trust. So fear no-one. And trust your self. And experiment wİth what I am saying. Because there is nothing to lose. There İs nothİng to lose. İt has been sİxteen years sİnce I fİrst started chantİng and I am stİll eager to share. That is how love leaves you. Eager to share. When I first experienced the bliss of this mantra I was certain I would make a love revolution. That İs what happens to you. You want the whole world to stop and take notice. ‘Hey everyone… stop for a second.. I found the answer.. the answers.. the truth.. the love…. And I can easily tell you about it.’ You think that people will pull over in their cars and listen… because you are dying to tell them. You know. And it is so simple. This will happen to you. And people around you will….. think you have lost the plot. Irony after irony. You find the plot and people think you have lost it. 23
  • 24. Because other people are also fanatic about their truth does not mean that all truths you here are mental delusions from fanatics. The one who really holds the key will also shout I have the key along with all those deluded. And those deluded are probably not deluded but rather holding part of the puzzle but missing a few pieces. Mantra makes everythİng very clear. Bhagavad-gita solidifies the clarity. The window wipers go to work on the mud on the windscreen. First of all the thick mud is wiped away. There is so much mud that though much is cleared still the windscreen is covered. Nothing seems to be happening because you cannot perceive a difference yet. Keep chanting, keep those windscreen wipers working and finally you get to notice some light. Divinity: You are goİng to realize divinity in three phases: Brahman; paramatma and bhagavan. First you notice the light. You notice that there is a divinity. This is a big change from not feeling divinity before or a merger as you realize that the divinity previously experienced by yourself is awakened further by chanting. Nature appears extraordinarily divine. I remember the day after I started chanting. I walked down high road in east finchley and noticed a tree on the side of the road. I really noticed it. It was exhuberant, incredible, divine. I had never noticed this tree before. The cars and banks and buildings all looked pretty dull in comparison. But this tree was alive: Paramatma: God is in all living things. I realized paramatma pretty early in my chanting because of my sincerity of heart. I read Bhagavad-gita and surrendered İmmedİately. Because it encouraged surrender. Ultimately this is where devotion takes you. İnto a let go. İnto surrender unto the divine. And I dİd İt wİth a deep heart and thus the divine reciprocated by glossİng the planet wİth a deep effulgence. The next day I noticed the flowers in the temple garden in the Manor; near Watford. Was I tripping on acid or ecstasy or mushrooms? The only previous experience of this natural buzz was while taking these perception-changers. But now I was only chanting. This you have in store for you as the surrender to the divine increases. You keep chanting. Suddenly there are rays of lİght comİng through the wİndscreen: this is paramatma realization. You keep chanting and you start to see the other side of the windscreen. The real world: the spİrİtual world: bhagavan realization. 24
  • 25. The final realization. Bhagavan realization is the greatest experience. This takes some practice. This is not given to you overnight. But you will realize that Bhagavan realization is the goal before you get to it. You will know the absolute truth in theory before you fully realize it. Because the energy comİng from Bhagavan realization is so strong… so sweet… so blissful.. that even before it comes to you…. Its effect reaches you. You begin to feel love for God way before you meet wİth God. But you know that is what will happen. And that itself is great blissful feeling. Hare Krishna hare Krishna Krishna Krishna hare hare Hare rama hare rama rama rama hare hare It is very simple. It is the backbone of the culture of Krishna consciousness. These names are not dİfferent from the personalİtİes whose names they are: that is how spiritual sound works. When you chant your soul.. your inner self recognizes the sound. İt is as if the baby of your soul is awoken by the calling of the mother and father. But before you feel that feeling of being found by your eternal mother and father there is some cleaning to do. When you at last feel that recognİtİon you sİmultaneously feel the separatİon: ‘what have I been doing all these years.’ That is just one lifetime. İf you could feel all the lifetimes you had been separated that feeling may well be too overwhelming. At the same time you feel…. ‘why did I not chant your names earlier…’ you feel absolutely pleased that you did at last. And you feel eternity. When you feel eternİty you realİze tİmelessness: this negates the regret for here you are, now, with the greatest gift of all. Grace. Welcome home. Part 8 Sraddha - trust When you taste a little love from above you are going to want to taste some more. You are going to want to get serious. Congratulations. Really. Big congratulations if you get this far. Let me tell you. If you get this far you have gone all the way. Because the rest is a conveyor belt into the loving arms of the personal divine. It is still a way to go. It is not easy. But it is inevitable if you get the point that you seriously want to go all the way. This is called sraddha, trust. You trust the process. Trust in the self and trust in the process of bhakti become one. Now you are a sadhaka. A practitioner of sadhana bhakti. The essence of bhakti is devotion. Love. Love is not just a general feeling of universal affection… it is that also… but more than that it is specific. As you may feel love for everyone 25
  • 26. in the world, simultaneously you feel a certain kind of specific love for your lover or your mother or your father or brother and sister. Love therefore is not only universal it is specific. It is the same with divine love. Love for God is not only conglomerate. That feeling is called brahmananda, the bliss of Brahman, love for the everything. Love of God can be specific too. That love is called premananda, the bliss of love. That bliss is tasted in connection to the lover. İt includes and surpasses in quality the bliss of brahmananda. Here bhakti yoga begins. With the knowledge that we are going for the topmost bliss. And from the beginning we are eligible to taste it. İt is not saved for after death. İt is constantly available… through bhakti yoga. Bhakti yoga in practice is called sadhana bhakti. Bhakti yoga perfected is called prema bhakti. The way and the goal are the same only perfection takes over from practice. In the practice stage the goal is always kept in focus. So we know where we are heading. In perfection we are united with Bhagavan… in deep awareness of another realm. We are devoted to God completely. In practice we do sadhana. We chant. And when we attain sraddha, trust, we naturally inquire. ‘ok, what else can I do, what else can I give towards attaining more depth…’ At this point I trusted Bhagavad-gita and I trusted Srila A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Prabhupada. Bhagavad-gita gives the answer to those asking this question at the point of sraddha. In Sanskrit ‘tad viddhi pranipatena pariprasnena sevaya upadeksyanti te jnanam jnaninas tattva darsinah’ ‘Just try to learn the truth by approaching a spiritual master. İnquire from him submissively and render service to him. The self realİzed souls can İmpart knowledge unto you because they have seen the truth:’ What truth have they seen seen? What tattva? Acintya bhedabheda tatta. The inconceivable oneness and difference of the absolute. Krishna. They have seen Krİshna. Now İf you want to see the absolute you have to approach, inquire and serve someone that has. Simple. The guru is essential in the path of love. Because we are talking about love not just knowledge. Knowledge you can get from a book or by meditation. But love is a dance so you need a dancing partner. Be careful because there is a lot of money and a lot of satisfaction for the ego for people bowing to you and calling you ‘master’. So the real masters are sought 26
  • 27. with deep sincerity. Only by your own honesty will the real master be revealed. Arrangements will be made that you meet the real master when you sincerely want to. The guru represents God. İt is not small thing. İt is a massive thing. Because if the guru is connected in a parampara…. a chain of bonafide masters… then that river of love can flow into your heart. When I found my guru I was so incredibly happy. I accepted Prabhupada and his writings till I found my guru and that was some comfort because I felt guided and cared for… but I could feel something missing. And that was due to my chanting with sraddha.. with trust. The next step was to accept a guru… so before this there was naturally a void. I felt so alone. My family couldn’t help me achieve love of God. My friends couldn’t. And devotees around me I felt couldn’t. When I came into Krishna Consciousness I felt happy to be with the devotees but there was a strange religious vibration and pseudo-spiritual egos that created a suspicion in me. The void created a deep prayer in me. And the prayer was answered. Prayer. All prayers are received by Paramatma. Paramatma runs through all living beings like a network of blood. We bump into each other accidentally due to Paramatma. There is no accident. Our thoughts, our prayers, our desires, mixed up with our karma are creating the play. When you understand this then prayer is scientific and you can put some energy into the play. Whether you are Christian, Muslim or Hindu or member of an African tribe…. Paramatma receives all the imput you imput. For there is one God. Unfortunately most religious people cannot reconcile different doctrines which are given according to time, place and circumstance. Even in Hare Krishna sects there are differences and people arguing with each other based on temporary advice from their gurus. This path you are on has been traversed before and it is being traversed by many right now… so there are things which are common to all… but then there are things which are absolutely unique to you. That is why I say My Radha… because She is My God.. although She may be the same as yours She is absolutely unique to me. Again, divine paradox must be understood so we don’t fight at every step; so we can unite despite differences. There are many Krishna devotees who say that Prabhupada is the last great teacher and that he will be the teacher for the next 10,000 years. But that is stripping bhakti from its greatest gift. The guru. The guru is alive. A personality. A person. A representative of God in the flesh. İt is difficult to accept. İt is easy to accept a guru who has passed away or is in heaven looking on because you don’t have to face him. You can just receive inspiration from above and not have to suffer the blows from below that the guru will deal you. The guru exists to rid you of ego. My guru told me that the first thing a devotee wants to do after taking initiation is to kill the guru. That sounded harsh but it is because the person taking initiation has ego and the ego is 27
  • 28. going to die at the hands of the guru. When the guru dies actually many disciples become so pleased. Those disciples are the ones who have hung on to their egos and enjoyed the sensual, mental, intellectual and social benefits of the bhakti rather than the austerities of it. The ones who are happy to see the guru die will be the ones crying many crocodile tears in public to cover the reality. You expect when joining a movement towards love that everyone is fall of it. But beware. Really beware. Most in this world are not full of it. And if they are in a movement where they ought to be full of it they will act like they are full of it while being full of the opposite. Ego. Hence you have so much apparent devotion around you but little real devotion. I know many people won’t come to Krishna Consciousness because they are sensitive to the former, they feel the pretentiousness of so-called devotees. And that gives a bad impression, a bad samskara. Krishna becomes a distasteful word as it is now attached to the egoistic Hare Krishna you met on the street trying to push his philosophy when you could see and feel that it wasn’t realized knowledge…. just some information. This is a shame. I know. But this is the world. This is not the fault of bhakti. İt is not the fault of devotees or God. God is not to blame for the demise of religion. Jesus is not to be hated because of fanatic Christians who get on your nerves with their fananticism, nor Mohammed to be hated for fundamentalist Muslims. Understand. It is you and the truth. The outside is a play. And in this world the minority will be possessed with love. What is incredible is that in this world there are people with Absolute Love for God. İf you can muster up enough sincerity and earnest desire to meet them then you are incredibly fortunate. If you attain sraddha… trust in them you are even more fortunate. İf you feel like surrendering to them then you are in a category heralded by the Vedic scriptures as supremely fortunate. We are talking about human beings capable of delivering you from evil, delivering you from good at the same time, and hoisting you into a dimension you will come to know while climbing the ladder of love. I can give you a few names. I will do so as I tell you my history as a disciple. Part 9 Guru – the teacher My prayer was sincere. İt was to Prabhupada. İt was to Paramatma. It was to myself. İt was to Krishna. All these were the same really. My trust encompassed them and united them together as one gracious entity. And my prayer was answered when I realized that Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja was also for me. He was a lecturer, a guru in the Isckon movement. I loved him. Only he had left the world a year earlier, as Prabhupada had in 1977. But his lectures inspired me to keep praying for the real deal as his lectures really emphasized this point which I am emphasizing now. So maybe it his grace you are receiving here. However. 28
  • 29. He was not physically present anymore and he was adamant İn reiterating the verse above. ‘You have to approach and İnquİre and serve a spİrİtual master.’ Jesus is a spiritual master but you cannot approach him, physİcally. Prabhupada worship is as honest as this but İn Gaudiya Vaishnavism, which is the correct name for the hare Krishna cult, there is a parampara, a continuation, a descendency, a flow of love. My prayers became more ardent as my awareness of my need set in. I soon realized that Srila Narayana Maharaja was my guru. From pictures. From a feeling I got around his disciples. He was mine. I was his. When I went to India for the first time it was as a devotee. I never noticed the hippies and İsraelis and all of the traveler culture till later. I went for Krishna, for my devotional life and to meet with Srila Narayana Maharaja. I was presented with someone else. Not someone instead of but someone as well of. Sriman Premananda Prabhuji. Prabhuji was the leader of the ashrama in Mathura and such a beautiful loving soul that everyone naturally fell under his care. He became my siksa guru… my instructing guru and Srila Narayana Maharaja became my initiating guru, the guru who gives mantras and officially starts you on the path. A year ago as I write Srila Narayana Maharaja left this world. He left an enthusiastic following and very high class devotees to continue his mission. Which is the same of all lovers of Krishna; to distribute love. Premananda Prabhuji is still around. And worthy of dropping everything you are doing to meet with him. He gave me the name Pitambara Das and Srila Narayana Maharaja confirmed it. Mine is a long story, a different story than many devotees because I was lead away from the usual path of bhakti onto a less common esoteric path. I’m sure that I am writing to convey this to you because there is no use just repeating what devotees have already repeated. All my gurus have encouraged me to distribute, to teach and yet my way appears contradictory to the standard Hare Krishna way. This may be why you are reading my book right now. After some time in the Gaudiya Math I studied philosophy deeper and served Sri Haridas Sastri Maharaja in Vrindavan for 3 years. At the end of that time I filled with love and realization. I had darsana… a vision of Radha…. and became mad with love for Radha and Krishna. After studying and serving Maharaja and his cows in Vrindavan for three years Prabhuji sent me to Navadvipa, the birthplace of Sri Chaitanya where I met Sri Sacidulal Babaji Maharaja who completed my guru life-story by giving me babaji vesa and siddha pranali, further initiations into the esoterics of Krishna consciousness. I will explain later the details of this. 29
  • 30. Sri Sacidulal Babaji Maharaja was an amazing 100 year old man (I think he was 100 years old for about 100 years!!) who was in total ecstasy all of the time. He was known as a pagal baba…. one intoxicated like a crazy man in love with god. He was not difficult to fall in love with. İt was instantaneous. I was lucky to have met such a soul and for him to bless me as he did. He told me to build temples all over the world and distribute his own mantra. I haven’t done that yet. I wİll try. He passed away last year, unfortunately for the world. There is one other very inspiring guru in my life. And he still lives…. in radha kund. The sacred pond near vrindavan where Krishna played his earthly play 5000 years ago. Sri Ananta das Babaji Maharaja received me after reading a request of residence written by Sri Sacidulal Babaji Maharaja. Both have apparent different views concerning deeper truths regarding the philosophy but I know they are one in their endeavour to present this absolute truth in their own unique ways. So…. I present to you a little of my history so that you can get a feel of an important part of bhakti sadhana… that is sadhu sanga. The most important. Maha mantra and sadhu sanga, they are pertinent İn developİng love conscİousness. Part 10 Vraja – the spiritual land Bhakti yoga is a joy to perform. If you get a taste for it. İf you are sincere in your devotion. İt is not if you are trying to show you are a devotee. Then the chanting is tiring and the association with devotees like poison. Pretentiousness is not for us. İf you are not into the idea of devotion then I advise you to stay away. İt is not worth the show to stay around the devotional community. İt will hinder your spiritual progress in the long run if inside you are averse. İf you are attracted it is going to be joyous. Of course, in the beginning there may be some fight from the mind and the ego, but the soul feeling its clarity will be a sweet taste and one that leads you further into sadhana. Bhagavad-gita explains the ontological nature of the soul and then delves into yoga. From the centre we understand what we are… and then start to move. Now I have mentioned gurus and chanting and lila and Krishna. There are so many topics to discuss. İt is as if the whole jigsaw piece is slowly coming through at the same time… revealing itself as a whole not just piece by piece. 30
  • 31. To acquire love of God you must fall in love with someone who fell in love with someone who fell in love with God. İt is not rocket science. İt is love science. And very simple to understand. Another very important thing to do is visit Vrindavan where Radha and Krishna wandered, played, frolicked 5000 years ago. They are historical figures. Real personalities whose life stories have been passed down from elder to younger for 50 centuries. These stories have been passed down in such a pristine condition that it is as if they were here only yesterday. That is how it feels. İn the area called Vraja between Delhi and Agra there are villages each with their own story. First Mathura, a city on the bank of the River Yamuna. This is where Krishna was born and then taken to Gokul to be with his foster parents Yashoda and Nanda. Mathura is not so pretty nowadays but there are important temples. The most important to me is the Gaudiya Math where I spent 7 years as a brahmacari.. a young monk learning the art of devotion. Across the river is a small village named İsapur. I lived there for a couple of years also and the children still remember the song I wrote for them on guitar. ‘The Children of İsapur are always very happy.’ And they were. And they still are. These little villages in Vraja melt your heart. The life hasn’t changed for centuries and the stories come to life once you feel the culture from the inside. İ could never understand how a devotee of Krishna could spend their life in Europe and never visit Vrindavan because here is where you learn about Krishna, the culture. Not from the books but from the river, from the kids, from the plants and weeds and pigs and monkeys and donkeys and honkeys. (Prabhuji likes to give sentences like this… it rubs off!!) The honkeys are the rickshaws riding around the area. I wish Vrindavan would be off limits to cars because over the last decade it has become infested with Delhi-wallahs… people from Delhi visiting for a quick blessing. Vrindavan is incredible. İt is deemed the most spiritual abode in the universe. Not only İndia or Planet Earth but in the 14 planetary systems mentioned in the Vedas there is nowhere like Vrindavan. I have had so many mystical experiences in Vrindavan. I wouldn’t know where or how to explain them. When I am in Vrindavan I feel like I am top of a spiritual mountain… where there is no time. It is eternal. It feels as if the rest of the world is a moat where sharks may drag you down, into samsara once again, where people try and stand on your head to get to the shore to survive. But Vrindavan, you are home. And you can feel Krishna everso vividly. Vrindavan is sweeter than Mathura and Goverdhan sweeter still. Goverdhan is a hill which is 16 km long, 20 meteres in height, and 50 meteres wide. İt is a beautiful purple colour. İt looks out of place in the middle of flat Rajastan and stories that the monkey God Hanuman dropped Goverdhan here while carrying it from the Himalyas are somehow quite plausible. Goverdhan is surrounded by cows and monkeys and peacocks and sadhus, prostrating themselves in penance. Goverdhan was a favourite playing place of Radha and Krishna and 31
  • 32. all their friends. There were caves and waterfalls and flowers and kunjas…. secret hiding places for young lovers. And of course… at the end of the hill lies Radha Kund and Shyama Kund. These are two small ponds, rediscovered 500 years ago by Chaitanya Mahaprabhu where Radha and Krishna would have their most intimate pastimes. Radha Kund is regarded as THE capital of Gaudiya Vaishnavism. It is nowadays a place where the devoted devotees pray, chant japa (mantra), and listen to esoteric lectures given by elevated sadhus. I love Radha Kund. She is my home. I would be there right now if Radha herself had not encouraged me to return to the west to extend Her very hand to everyone seeking LOVE. Such a small place. Such a wonderful place. And there are many many wonderful places to visit. Down the road is Varsana where Radha grew up with Her parents. There is a temple on the hill where their house was. It is straight from a fairytale book. Down the road from there is Nandagaon where Krishna grew up. These two villages are built on hills. The hills are said to be reincarnations of Brahma and Siva. Radha and Krishna used to send love messages by carrier birds to each other. Between the two villages is Prema Sarovara (love pond) which is where… you can guess!! And near there Uccagaon where Radha’s best friend lives (lived… lives… there is no difference in Vraja!!) Near there is Yavat where Radha lived with Her husband. Yavat is my favourite place in the world. The first time İ visited Yavat was with a party of about 4 buses of western devotees. The village is tiny so we swarmed the area. I remember looking down one little lane and feeling like … this was it…. I live here. For a moment I was not who I was. Who was I? I was from Yavat. Then the devotees called me…. Pitambara das… get on the bus…. What… I cried… I was from here. I was lead away. Years later I visited again. The same feeling came back. The third time I returned and stayed in the room next to the room which was observed as Radha’s own bedroom 5000 years ago… or yesterday, today!! I wrote poems on the walls of love for Yavat because the temple sadhu said he would paint in a few days. I did it for love not thinking about preservation. The day after another devotee came and read the poems and stopped the painting. I saw the poems later on facebook and many people swooning over this poetry which came from nowhere. They were trying to find the scripture. When I claimed responsibility that is the last I heard. Ha ha. I am not known to be a great devotee. I will tell you why later! This is Vraja. You should go. Now… I have mentioned a little of my Radha and Krishna. Did you get a taste? This is Krishna Consciousness. Vraja Consciousness. Krishna is not God in our tradition. Krishna is Krishna. He is God but God is just his part time job. More importantly he is the lover of Vraja, the best 32
  • 33. friend of his friends, the adorable son of Yashoda and Nanda, the amourous lover of the gopis (the milk maids)… more… the lover of Radha, the Queen of Vrindavan. Krishna is intimate. Krishna consciousness is all about intimate love of God. There are opulent universes where people go to be with God in all his pomp and ceremony (aishvarya). These are called Vaikuntha planets. Here God has 4 arms and everyone who lives there acquires a similar 4 armed body. Awe and reverence abound as everyone has Absolute knowledge of who is God. And they are so happy to be Him. Krishna goes deeper. There is something missing in Vaikuntha. That is sweetness and intimacy!!? Vraja bhakti is the highest worship there is because there is no worship. Rather those who end up alongside Krishna in his world become on a par with him. They are his friends, his lovers. There is madhurya (sweetness) instead of (on top of!!) aishvarya (reverence). Here God forgets He is God. Why would God want to forget? So that he can play like a normal little boy. So that he can experience surprise. So that he can experience human love in its most gorgeous way. So that he can embrace me and you and look us in the eyes, slap us on the face or kiss us on the lips. Krishna may appear like an ordinary boy. He does. But he is not. To many people, even Hindus, Krishna is just a story about love and Krishna is a way to explain what love is and actually when you reach God you will …A merge into Brahman or B go to Vaikuntha and be with Narayana. Krishna devotees are not interested in anything but Krishna and Vraja. The philosophy is by no means whimsical. Neither is Krishna. Vraja is a world superior to nirvana, Brahman, Vaikuntha…. Anywhere. Yet it looks so simple. And that is the beauty. When you have the Creator of the Universe in front of you you would expect to be over-awed. İn fact Krishna himself showed his friend Arjuna his Universal Form… and then Arjuna pleaded take it away. İt was too much. Plus… Arjuna loved Krishna without reason. He was not interested in God. He loved God. God just happened to be his friend. Covering the souls in our material world is an energy called maya, mahamaya. İn Vraja there is an energy covering Krishna called Yogamaya. Yogamaya is an energy of Krishna’s … as everything is…. Which enables perfect forgetfulness in order for there to be enhanced sweetness in the Play of God. Lila. The play of God is the reason we are all existing. Yet it is beyond reason. There is no reason there. There is only love. From this world of reason we may enter that realm when love plunders our reason and makes a home in our heart. 33
  • 34. Due to the intimacy Yogamaya allows, Krishna is absolutely in love with everyone… and especially Yashoda and Nanda, and especially the cowherd boy friends of his… and more especially the gopis.. and of all the gopis… yes… you are getting it… Radha is the Queen. Hmmm.. now we are getting into rasa-tattva…. Knowledge concerning the science of relationship. Once you start explaining Krishna’s world it is difficult to get out and come back down to sadhana… but I will in a moment. Let me explain rasa now, having opened this door. There are 5 types or flavours of relationship. They ascend according to depth. Santa rasa means neutral love. The love we have for trees and plants and animals here. Universal love. Dasya rasa means servitude and it is the relationship of teacher and student which in Vedic tradition is very close. Then there is Sakhya rasa which is friendship. Vatsalya rasa is parent-child love. And srngara rasa or madhura rasa is romantic love. Now… a little bit of simple Sankhya philosophy. İn 5 there is 4,3,2 and 1. The romantic lover may feel all the different relationships of love. The mother cannot feel like the lover however. 4 cannot taste 5. The mother can be the friend but the friend cannot really feel like the father or mother. And so on. Created first in our world is ego … and then intelligence and mind. And then comes the five gross elements the first of which is sound. Sound resides in the ether and enables hearing. The ear represents sound. Second is air which enables touch. The skin hosts touch. Third is fire which enables sight. The eye hosts sight. Fourth is water which enables taste. The tongue hosts taste. Fifth is earth which enables smell. The nose hosts smell. İn earth you have the ability to smell, taste, see, feel and hear. İn water you can sense four things.. but you cannot smell it. 34
  • 35. İn fire you can sense three things.. but you cannot taste or smell it. Air you cannot see. Ether you cannot feel on your skin. Relationship is similar and actually to go deeper into this I could explain how elements and relationships are more intimately connected. Later maybe. Now we are out of the rasa as we describe what it is. As we get to know Krishna we will get to know who he is before forgetting all about the philosophy and diving into relationship with him. What relationship depends on who you fall in love with down here. Because the gurus know what relationship they have with Krishna. And their mood will be your mood too. You will be unique but you will inherit a certain rasa. I will save something for later. Because we are still a little way on the journey. Part 11 Tapasya – austerity for spiritual development There is something in this world that we keep failing to understand. That is that real happiness comes from austerity and not indulgence. They are opposites. Generally in this world people collect, indulge, consume in order to be happy. But the happiness is fleeting and the suffering drawn out. On the other hand for one who performs a bit of austerity for the sake of spiritual awakening (or even for physical and mental health!) the suffering is fleeting and the happiness is drawn out. İf you have open eyes you can easily understand that indulgence does not lead to happiness. İt leads to you being fat. Or it leads to you being addicted to pornography or drugs. İt leads you (some) to having a big bank account and fast cars and very little wisdom concerning what comes next. Even the offered revolutions talk about faster trains and more advanced technology yet those with wisdom realize that speed is not going to get us anywhere. Because we are ‘here’ to stay! What comes next? İt depends on what we do now. That is why it is recommended in the Vedas to utilize this very precious human body for austerity. There were yogis in ancient times who used to do so many things to achieve different boons, mystical powers and spiritual enlightenment. There are nine mentioned mystic powers 35
  • 36. including being able to levitate, walk on water, create from thin air, duplicate yourself, visit different dimensions… etc . You can read Paramahamsa Yogananda if that takes your fancy. Me… I’m not so fascinated. I want love. And in bhakti yoga you can do stuff for love too which doesn’t involve so much austerity. The yogis I just mentioned used to sit in caves for hundreds of years naked, stand on one leg for years, lie on nails, live inside fire, alsorts of weird and wonderful stuff. İn fact in İndia you can still see some weird and wonderful stuff. I mentioned Goverdhan hill. Around the 16 km sadhus bow full length 108 times on the spot before moving to the next body length. 16 km they go around like this. İt takes about 4 years. They eat what comes to them and sleep with the snakes in the rain. They have different desires, different material and spiritual goals. Recently I saw a video of Buddha boy.. one boy who meditated inside a tree for three years in his teens. İt was impressive. The boy used some Buddhist techniques to live on his own prana, life-air. Of course, the western reporters couldn’t believe it and looked for conspiracy. The boy looked beautiful as he gave his first speech after. It was inspiring to see. Despite Buddhism not being my path or my goal, it is encouraging to see youth meditating rather than playing play station 3. We have become useless. Life is for spiritual wealth and in bhakti yoga there are some austerities that will help with the dive into the bliss of devotion. When I started to chant and trust Krishna and Srila Prabhupada I read that a devotee has to follow four regulative principles. The four regs!! These were 1) No meat 2) No sex 3) No drugs 4) No gambling I was ready to follow and needed a week’s contemplation before giving my life to devotion because at that time to give up these four things was to give my life to devotion. That is all I did. I ate meat. I had sex. I took drugs. And … well… I didn’t really gamble. Reg 4 was easy. I got so happy chanting that I decided to do it. I vowed to follow these regulations and chant and surrender to the whim of Krishna, who I didn’t really know but trusted was inside my heart. That whas a good idea. I was elevated to a platform of happiness which was beyond sex, beyond drugs. Replacement. I replaced these indulgences with an austerity which gave more happiness… immediately. Because I meant it. The vow was sincere. 36
  • 37. Drugs was easy. I didn’t really miss a few joints and the odd mushroom trip of course. I wasn’t heavily into it. But İ did like sex. And this regulation … of course… is THE regulation. İt came back to haunt me after a month of freedom from sex desire. Because it is not a small thing. İt is the biggest thing. İt creates us. İt destroys us. It uplifts us and it can bring us down. Sex is another sub heading. İt is another book. Everything has its use and abuse. İn this world abuse is so easy to fall into. The river’s current runs rapidly into abuse and therefore Bhagavad-gita teaches us to beware not to go with that flow. Desire unfulfilled will lead to anger which will lead to frustration which will lead to delusion. Therefore Prabhupada more or less banned it. He spoke vehemently against it encouraging celibacy. And it worked. Many people tasted the fruit of celibacy, which is something like an orgasmic chill. What experience you have after sex can be had by not having sex at all. However, it is not the cessation of sex which is important but rather the acquisition of a higher taste. When you have that higher taste even sex is easily given up. Not so easily but not as difficult as most would think. For those who didn’t get a higher taste while chanting sex became too difficult to overcome and many plopped back into the material pool. Unfortunately, these ‘many’ thought sex and God were incompatible opposites. Thus to really enjoy sex they had to dispatch of the philosophy which stopped them from enjoying that too. Krishna helps of course by giving everyone the feeling that they are right whatever they believe. God is not opposite of sex. On the contrary. He is the God of sex. He is sex, personified. This is what is quite confusing for people who meet Hare Krishna devotees. How come your God is having sex and you cannot? İt is a good question and one which has been answered by…..’God is God and you are his servant… sex is for God not you.’ But that doesn’t pull anyone in to bhakti yoga. What kind of God is it that enjoys and keeps you as a slave? Another answer is ‘Krishna is the only male and we are all females in the highest spiritual sense.’ İt is true. In an Absolute sense. But on the journey from A to B we are advised to act according to our position, both temporary and eternal. So there needs to be a closer examination of what is good for the soul whilst residing in this body. Rupa Goswami, a respected associate of Chaitanya wrote that one is a great devotee who can control the tongue, belly and genitals. We waste so much energy by indulging in idle speech, by consuming too much food and by losing too much energy in sex. Control. Control 37
  • 38. doesn’t mean negate. İt means use not abuse. The use of the tongue in bhakti is to speak about bhakti and about Radha and Krishna, about sadhana and sadhya. The use of the belly is to eat food which has been offered to Krishna by mantras which is called Prasad. That food will clean you of karma and give you the desire for performing more bhakti. And sex. That is for making devotee children. Or remembering Krishna. Because Krishna is the God of sex. His play is very romantic and very erotic. That is known. What is not known is how exactly that can be. That what is binding and blinding here is liberating there. This topic needs a deeper look. For now… I want to glorify tapasya. What Prabhupada saw in the world was addiction to sex, drugs and meat. The cure then was to give up. I know a way in which sex can be used in Krishna consciousness…. a tantric path… but Prabhupada spoke against that too. He had to. You cannot allow an alcoholic a sip of wine. It doesn’t work. One sip leads to two. İndulgence is destructive. The world is indulging in so much meat consumption now which is a gross addiction in itself… that even the planet is suffering from it. So much water is required to produce fodder for cattle and the cattle are not animals anymore… they are meat. The most glorious animal. The sacred cow. Why sacred? Only in Kali yuga does a human being need to ask. I challenged children at a school I was teaching when they asked me why the cow is sacred in İndia. ‘What would you take to Planet Venus if we had to go and live there and we could take five things?’ Of course the answers were play station, internet etc.. and the more serious answers… water, food…. Yes… and what food. Take a cow. Take two… one male and one female. The cow gives pacha gavya. Five gifts. Milk, yoghurt, ghee, pee and poo! Food… the cow is giving ice cream. Don’t kill it if you have respect for ice cream or butter or milk. Ghee is regarded as the best of all foods and is very healthy despite what modern science desires you to believe (for their very ill agenda). Urine is a medicine for the inside of the body. Cow dung is a medicine for the outside of the body. Both disinfect and purify. Cow dung is also used to build houses and make fires and cook food. Need I continue? … oh, and they are so sweet and friendly. When you love them they love you back. Meat. Don’t eat it. We can do what we like. We have choıce. But why when we have choice to we choose pain for others and pleasure for our self? Most religions tell you to stop it. But when a religion tells you don’t drink blood so you squeeze the blood out of meat and eat 38
  • 39. that meat…. then it seems we are abusing our intelligence to do what we want anyway. What is the difference between eating muscle and blood. İs blood bad and muscle good? The more you eat the more you want to eat. People are gross. Even some devotees get very fat and use the excuse that they are eating Prasad and it is purifying them. But you only need a little Prasad to purify you. Again, abusive intelligence. Drugs. The more you take the more you have to take. Downhill slide. Sex. The more you have the more you need. Downhill slide. İt made sense to me to control. To give up altogether. It was the best thing I ever did. For a couple of years I occasionally slipped. Wanting sex. Feeling like I could never do without it. But I did not beat myself for that. I continued the medicine. Celibacy. After a couple of years there was no more desire. And that was a trip. Because I looked at girls very differently. İt wasn’t a philosophical difference it was a feeling… I wasn’t getting excited but I was very excited to devote my life to chanting Hare Krishna. Tapasya. Austerity. Difficult in the beginning but fruitful in the end. When teaching English recently in a school I asked some students to tell me how long they could go without the following things for. Then I wrote on the board some words. Food, water, roof, family, talking, sex (all kinds), internet, mobile, money, make-up, tv, electricity. There were more. İt was insightful. Because nobody had really observed themselves being without. Most people in this world just get as much of what they like as they can. The same people ask what is wrong with the world. This is wrong with the world. The students asked me and I told them. I have been without food for 15 days. Eating twice in 45 days. I have been without water most 24 hours. I have been without talking for one month. I have been without sex for 6 years. I have been without money for 14 years. I have been without family for 6 years. I have been without a mobile for 40 years. I have been without tv and electricity for millions of years…. Only recently have I .. we.. ‘needed’ it. 39