1. if I had a hammer, it would look like this.

2. But Who would trust me with a hammer?

3. i’ve never reall used one
y

4. up to this point in my life i’ve managed quite well without a toolbox

5. When you’re an un-handy woman,
you too will find that thumb tacks And Adhesive hooks can work wonders.

6. unfortunatel houses are not
y
built with sticky tack.

7. when i volunteered for habitat for humanity,
i did not take this into consideration.

8. i showed up at the build site, bright eyed and bushy tailed.
ready to build a house.

9. i imagined it would be just like making and decorating gingerbread houses.
I w hoping to be in charge of lining the roof with gumdrops.
as

10. one look at the height of the ladder
climb up to the roof, killed that dream.
Fast.

11. instead I volunteered for the ‘ground crew.’

12. i quickl found out that the ground crew name is deceptive.
y
there reall is no standing on the ground.
y

13. the ladders stand on the ground.
we stand on the tippy top steps.

14. while we hammer.

15. above our heads.
(notice the rock hard muscles this requires)

16. at first my hammering w comparable to chicken pecks.
as
Peck, Peck, Peck.

17. after out-pecking the hungriest chicken you could find
the nail still didn’t budge.

18. i w then introduced to the hammer sWING.
as
pull her back.
and let her rip.

19. my hammering then took on a rhythm:
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
hit.
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
hit.
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
miss.
swing.
hit.

20. slowl the nail inched it’s w y into the w
y, a all.

21. and what seemed like hours later,
(after more than a few thumb casualties)
i had nailed the entire insulation panel to the wall.

22. i proudl ga a little fist pump in celebration
y ve
a smile creeping onto my face.

23. as the build leader w alked by and sa my w
w all.
she frowned and shook her head.

24. not up and down with the thumbs up approv i w expecting
al as

25. side to side
(with an audible ‘oy vey’)

26. she quickl confirmed my growing fear as she marched over to the w
y all
and tore down my hours worth of work in a matter of minutes.

27. she told me to start again from the beginning.

28. so i did.
peck. swing. peck. swing. peck. peck. peck.

29. side note:
(twenty-five years old and still can’t find the hammer in this highlights hidden pictures)

30. i w the little chicken the could.
as
i nailed my second wall up like the best of ‘em.

31. and I ha a callus to prove it.
ve
best trophy ever.