1. forget sk8ER boys.

2. they ha good hair, but not much else.
ve
(if you’re a sk8er boi, ignore that comment above. call me!)

3. on the other hand,
i went to my first roller derby
this weekend.
and met some sk8er girls.

4. and no, drew barrymore w not there.
as
(I know, I know, part of me thought she’d be there too.)

5. fish net stockings. short skirts. skates. tattoos.
daaaaaaaamn gina!

6. these girls weren’t nice.

7. they were bad ass.

8. remember what it w like when we were kids and
as
we hung out at the roller rink?
(side note: remember when roller rinks existed?!)

9. ok, now add a few things to that image

10. trash talk. shoving. beer. bruises.
oh yeah, and the occasional broken face.

11. and the names. oh the names.

12. missile america.
peter pansy.
primp daddy.
sheeza brickhouse.
carmen getsome.
hard cora.

13. and then there w the re-animate’her.
as

14. yes, she is for realz.
be afraid.

15. she w the most intimidating girl i’ve ever seen.
as
(well aside from that girl in the ring. but they kind of look alike, don’t you think?)

16. i think maybe i’ll put on a few more coats of eyeliner
this week and see if I can imitate her cold stare.

17. but i don’t think my mom would approve of tattoo sleeves.
so alas, i’ll probabl just look like a tired raccoon.
y

18. I suppose most of us book nerds
don’t grow up to be roller derby girls.

19. but thats okay.

20. because we all secretl own
y
‘whip it‘ on dvd anyw y.
a