Ride the Storm: Navigating Through Unstable Periods / Katerina Rudko (Belka G...
How to heal a broken heart – 5 tips for healing a broken heart
1. How to Heal a Broken Heart in 5 Simple Steps
Figuring out how to heal a broken heart is a very hard and painful process. Every person deals
with it in their own way, for better or worse. Some people resort to alcohol and drugs to numb
out their feelings while others indulge in food and overeat. Some go out and hook up with other
people to fill the empty void after a break up while some jump into rebound relationships to get
rid of that lonely feeling in the pit of their stomach.
Unfortunately, all of these things are just a quick fix and aren’t truly helpful in dealing with a
break up. So in this article, I’m going to share 5 tips for healing a broken heart that will actually
help you in long run instead of just giving you a temporary distraction from your misery.
2. Step 1: Accept that the Relationship is Over
Healing a broken heart is a process and the first step of that process is accepting that the
relationship is really over. Until you do this, you are essentially denying the reality of the
situation. And you can’t truly move on with your life if you’re living in denial.
The reason it’s so tempting to live in denial is because we don’t want to admit to ourselves that
the relationship is really over. The thought of losing the person we love and living our lives
without them is too painful. Instead, we want to cling to the hope of being able to work things
out and get back together. However, in most cases, this is simply not possible because you guys
broke up for a reason. And if you think those reasons are not going to be there if you guys get
back together then you are only fooling yourself.
Step 2: Remember Why It Ended
People will go to any length to avoid pain and yet it’s a well-known fact that losing the person
you love is a very painful experience. So why would someone inflict this pain on both
you and themselves if it’s human nature to avoid pain at all costs?
It’s because the pain of being in the relationship to them was far greater than the pain of losing
the relationship. In other words, the relationship was no longer a source of joy and happiness for
them. It was a source of frustration and disappointment and they felt unfulfilled. They were far
more focused on the pain that being with you was causing them rather than the joy. This is what
gave them the strength and courage to overcome the pain of losing you.
Well, if you want to get over your ex and move on with your life then you ought to do the same
thing. Focus on all the bad things about the relationship. Concentrate on the things that made you
unhappy. Recall the reasons why you broke up. This will give you a much more accurate and
realistic picture of your relationship and remind you of why things ended. After a break up, it’s
tempting to idealize our ex and act like the relationship was much better than it really was. If that
was truly the case, then it wouldn’t be ending. Take off the rose-colored glasses and see it for
what it really is.
Step 3: Allow Yourself to Grieve
You will certainly feel a variety of emotions after a break up, such as anger, loneliness, sadness,
fear, jealousy, shame, humiliation, depression and despair. These feelings can also surface
physically, like crying or feeling a pain in your chest as if your heart is breaking.
Not only are these “negative” emotions considered healthy, but they are also very important for
you to feel in order to remain healthy. I know it may not seem like that right now because they’re
making you miserable but allowing yourself time to grieve is an important part of healing a
broken heart. So give yourself the permission to feel all these emotions and work through them
as they come up.
3. Repressing your emotions and burying your feelings may make it easier to cope with a break up
day to day, but it will only make the feelings worse when they do eventually come back up. Now
don’t get me wrong, you don’t have to walk around wearing your heart on your sleeve all the
time. It’s okay to sweep your feelings under the rug for a short period of time in order to get
through the work day but be sure to revisit them frequently so that you can work through them
and eventually let them go.
Step 4: Reflect on The Past
You will know when you’re ready to reflect on the situation logically. In the early weeks, even
the thought of your ex may send you into fits of sobs. But as time moves along, you will find
yourself naturally contemplating the entire situation with logic rather than emotion. At this point,
you are ready to see things a lot more clearly, especially with the help of hindsight.
Now is the time to determine what you learned from the relationship. No matter how good or bad
the relationship was, and no matter how it ended, you have surely learned some valuable life
lessons. There are always gifts that come with any relationship. It might be some realization that
you had about yourself, what you want or what you don’t want in your life. Think about how this
relationship made you a stronger and better person. Assessing the good and bad and determining
what you learned is absolutely essential in order to grow as a person and move on with your life.
The goal here is to turn your wounds into wisdom.
Remember, your wounds can make you bitter or your wounds can make you better.
The choice is yours.
Step 5: Learn to Love Yourself Fully
After a breakup, we often start scrutinizing every aspect of ourselves. Were you not pretty
enough? Not funny enough? Not exciting enough? The truth is that you were “enough” in every
aspect, but getting this through your head after a breakup is like fighting an uphill battle. That’s
because we usually feel like we were somehow responsible for the break up. We like to think
that if we had only been more ____, then they wouldn’t have left us.
All I can say to that is that nothing your ex ever said or did is entirely about you. It’s simply a
reflection of who they are, where they’re at in their life and what they value. Even if your ex
blames you for everything that happened in the relationship, remember that it’s only one side of
the story. It takes two to tango and your ex is just another human being with their own
imperfections and shortcomings. They have their own set of issues to deal with, as do you. So
keep that in mind before putting all the blame on yourself.
4. Let go of your feelings of lack and realize that you are not any less worthy, whole and complete
as a person just because things didn’t work out with this particular partner. Remember that they
are just one person. I know they were probably the most important person but they are, after all,
just one person. The fact is two may have simply not been a good match for one another. I know
it may have felt like they were “the one” when you guys first met but your true compatibility can
only reveal itself over time. Unfortunately, the beginning of a relationship is often not the best
indicator of what being in a relationship with that person is really like.
Remember this the next time you blame yourself for what happened. Realize that there’s no way
you could have foreseen any of these things in advance because a person’s true character is only
revealed over time. Yes, I know it hurts to face the fact that what you had is not what you
thought it was but what can you do now? Dust it off and move on. Don’t let one incompatible
partner get you all down about yourself. There’s plenty of people out there that will love you and
appreciate you for who you are. Acknowledge all your positive qualities and go out there and
give people the gift of you!
Can’t Stop Thinking about Your Ex?
Click Below to Learn a Proven “Step-by-Step”
Formula on How to Get Over a Break Up
http://howtogetoverarelationship.com/how-to-get-over-a-break-up-advice3.html