THIS IS A PIECE OF INDEPTH WRITING ABOUT MY RECENT LIFE IN LONDON - SURVIVING MY DREAM OF WORKING AS A FINE ARTIST! STILL DOWN & OUT IN GREATER SOUTH LONDON ! BUT GETTING ON WITH SOME IMPORTANT ARTWORK NEVERTHELESS. A BOOK ON THE CARDS, WHICH I'M SO VERY EXCITED ABOUT! UNFORTUNATELY I'M SKINT AT THE MOMENT! MY ESCORT BIZ, THE WAY I HELP SUPPORT MYSELF AND FUND MY ART PRACTICE ISN'T DOING GREAT AS I BELIEVE THERE MAYBE SOME PEOPLE SPREADING RUMORS AMONGST THE 'SWINGING' COMMUNITY!! I HAD A PRETTY ROTTEN NIGHT A FEW NIGHTS BACK, HERE YOU CAN READ ALL ABOUT IT! THIS PIECE OF WRITING IS FOR ADULTS ONLY - OVER 18 CONTENT PLEASE. WE DO NEED TO BE ABLE TO DISCUSS ADULT SUBJECTS AFTERALL DON'T YOU AGREE?

1. LIZARD MAN, BANKER WANKER & ALIENS – THE LIFE
& TIMES OF KEZ THE ARTIST!
(GLAD I STAYED ALIVE TO WRITE MY BOOK)
Hello lovely people that actually care about me!
I haven’t written a life update / blog or had a
MOAN for quite a while so I am writing today at
last!
I’ve been really busy working on new ideas and
new work and it’s just been totally all UP IN THE
AIR!
So many things I need to write about today to
express, talk about and help me organise myself
and see what is going on from a reflective
position.
So firstly I shall write about my everyday life and
how I am coping before I get onto the new art. I’m
still incredibly alone as always and have just
picked up over the last few days after a very
depressing and dark week, in which I totally

2. relapsed on the drugs and drink! I was really doing
well, I’d managed to get the methadone levels
down by 10mls over the last month, which I was
really pleased about as I get sick of having to go to
the chemist everyday and also the methadone
does make me sleepy and lethargic and I cannot
get on with my art and writing whilst asleep can I?
I was really doing well and feeling quiet happy and
positive! I now realise why in retrospect! I shall
explain…
I have mentioned before that I dislike the nasty
Polish neighbours! They really make my life hell. I
wasn’t always sure that it was definitely them that
complain to the council about me, but now I am
ABSOLUTELY SURE! The Polish family are RUDE and
IGNORANT! They flatly REFUSE to speak English
ever! I live in a very foreign area, there are just so
many foreigners, which is one reason why I am so
lonely! There’s a lot of Polish people in this area,
so they look English, but they are not and they
don’t speak to me and most of them don’t speak
English! It’s not very nice as I feel like there is a
serious lack of communication! They do seem to
have a lot of friends and they were having garden
parties that were causing quite a lot of noise. I
didn’t really care all that much as I just work in
my front room so it wasn’t such a big deal for me.
OH!! FUCKIN HELL – she just did it!! SHE’S DOING
IT NOW – SHES SHOUTING LOUD IN POLISH AT
THOSE KIDS – She has a really LOUD Polish voice
and she shouts and screams at those kids! Those

3. kids run around that flat during the evening and it
rocks my flat and I know realise the other people’s
flats in the street. SOMEONE HAS COMPLAINED!
I reckon the people next door to me have
complained about the Polish family on the other
side to me! They no longer go in the garden at all,
which is most confusing! It does seem to be
becoming more and more like communist Russia,
rules and regulations imposed by the authorities
that restrict freedom to such an extent that it
feels seriously morally wrong, a breach of civil
liberty! I certainly wouldn’t call the council about
neighbours! If I have a problem I just tell them,
occasionally I may shout, but I’m not so fuckin
underhand that I would go off telling to the
council behind their back! Not at all my style! I’ve
shouted to that bitch to SHUT up enough times I
can tell you! I certainly wouldn’t call the council
like what they do to me!!
( As usual this is a very long winded story to reach
the final point – so do bare with me)
I now believe the Polish family thought it was I
that complained to the council about their garden
parties and the kids running riot in the flat, which
was seriously causing a disturbance! So now they
HATE me even more! They were obviously upset at
being told off by the council that they left the
country for about three weeks over the last
month!! This is why I have been so happy and

4. doing so well!! I have felt as if a whole weight was
removed from my life! Not having to listen to that
LOUD BITCH’s POLISH SCREAMING has been such a
joy that I even stopped drinking and was nicely
coming off the Eeebie juice! I didn’t feel the need
to buy drugs or drink! It has been like pure peace
in the neighbourhood when they were away! I have
felt noticeably happier and lighter! I played my
guitar without fear of her calling the council! I’ve
just been so happy in my day to day life! But then
THEY CAME BACK!! I can honestly tell you within
just two days of them returning I had another
SERIOUS WARNING from the council threatening a
£5000 fine for playing my guitar and singing too
loud! That fuckin EVIL BITCH has been calling the
council when I play my guitar – even in the
daytime!! The council come and stand outside my
house with a machine monitoring my noise and
they even knew what I was playing on my guitar
and told me I play the same thing over and over
too much!
She more than likely assumed it was I that had
complained about her, when in fact I hadn’t! I am
not that petty and conniving, if the problem got
too bad I would have just shouted out the window
for them to quieten down, as I did with the other
people who had just moved in! They have also
stopped going in their garden over the last three
weeks. Its just so godamn petty that people have
had to get the council involved over people’s
freedom to go in their gardens and play music and
make a noise! Its ridiculous and EVIL and a big

5. reason why I want to move away from these fuckin
weird people, whom most are not British and don’t
seem to speak a great deal of English anyway!
Getting the council involved is getting the EVIL
authority in, who are the very worst people alive! I
cannot believe how fuckin stupid these people are!
Surely we can together solve any problems, but
they wont do that because they flatly refuse to
speak to me or anyone else in English!
I had only three weeks of complete freedom when
the Polish family were away and it was such an
improvement! I slipped right back into my dirty
life after I received the council warning. I don’t
play my guitar late, as it’s not fair on the
neighbours! I can’t believe she called the council
for me strumming my acoustic guitar in the
daytime! The fuckin bitch doesn’t even speak
English, which is even more confusing how she
actually managed to complain! I DETEST her! I
went straight back onto the heroin after that as I
felt very depressed! I went from having a great
few weeks to back to square one all because of a
really horrible, ignorant Polish cow and her noisy
brats! She thinks she owns the street! They don’t
work either of them, so obviously also claiming
benefits, although they don’t speak English! They
even put an old wooden table over their car
parking space so that no one can park in front of
their house! Honestly they are really IGNORANT
horrible people who are really causing me to be
distressed. I know they have complained to my

6. landlord that I do drugs! They watch me! I have
seen the curtains twitching when I go out the
house and when sometimes pick up my bits n bobs
from my blokey. Talk about victimisation! They
really are ‘curtain twitching snitchers’!
arghghghghgh!
So after all that horrible petty drama, I’m back up
5mls on the juice and drinking again! I also feel
very hurt. I wish I could move, but I can’t as I
haven’t got any money! I’ve had to get my haircut
because it had completely broken off where I
sleep on it! One side of hair wasn’t there! I am not
sure if maybe it had got set fire to that night I was
robbed? I can’t be sure, but it was very odd that I
had lost a whole side of hair! I decided just to get
it cut one more time to even it up and NOT bleach
it again, as my hair is very, very fine and it just
damages it! This is the reason why I am poor! I
can’t get so many men to book me as an escort
when I have a short hair as it isn’t considered to
be as attractive as girls with long flowing hair! I do
look quite prim and square with shorter hair and
its also red so not the most stereotypically
glamorous look I have at the moment! I do,
however, like it and think it looks nice! The colour
certainly goes with my pale complexion and I am
going to keep it this colour, it does suit me! I like
the cut as well, but I do want to grow my hair
now! At least its all even now and will grow in a
nice style, as I had it cut with that in mind from a
really good Italian top stylist! I told him all my hair

7. probs and he cut it with that in mind! I know when
it grows, I’ll get a lot more escort bookings, so
then I might be able to start saving to move!! I
want to move to the East end so I can visit the
galleries and make contacts and start getting in
shows and get a studio! I can’t do any of that
whilst I’m totally stuck down here in scummy
South! Its so dreadfully lonely!
Oh yes Darth vader!!....
I recently wrote about my anger at Mrs Darth
Vader, the woman who walked past me on my
street in front of my house in a full Burqua with no
eyeholes. I do think I should just have kept quiet
now and not bothered saying anything! The reason
I did shout and scream is because I am just totally
Godamn sick of seeing Islamic woman wearing
Burqas everywhere and to be faced by a full Burqa
when I walk out of my front door one morning
even before I’ve got to the end of the little
terrace street was just a bit much for me to
swallow! Considering I am a vegetarian surrounded
by dirty little HALAL meat shops, even on my
street! I am just totally pissed off with it to the
highest degree. It’s truthfully really grinding me
down! Seeing woman, mostly what look like
enormous woman in Burqas everywhere I go is just
frankly doing me in! I’m sick of it! These woman
all stick together, they never speak to any non –

8. Islamic people. No-one ever speaks to me where I
live. I seriously cannot go into the corner shop
anymore, the woman in that shop, where I usually
get my beer from, has made it crystal clear about
how she feels about me. She will not say a single
word to me and she recently made it clear she
doesn’t like me. She made a nasty face and will
not touch me or even acknowledge me in anyway.
It’s so clear to me that finally I will never go in
that shop again! The halal meat shop at the end of
the road have just decorated the counter with a
dayglow orange and yellow HALAL sign, totally
tacky, backward and heartless and really rubbing
it in that its HALAL meat. I expect they’ll be
getting the ‘unstunned’ signs out soon. It sickens
me to the core. I am sick and tired of having Islam
thrown into my face as soon as I step out my
house! These woman in these ridiculous,
antiquated clothes wear them to draw attention to
themselves, to display their religion and difference
to other members of British society! This is why
they wear them. Sincere religious practise doesn’t
require stupid clothes! I’m sick and tired of silly
childish games that people play to create
problems. Why does a religion have to impend
onto a whole society how Islam does? Why not
keep religion contained behind closed doors, in a
personal way? Why do they have to thrust in our
faces and open meat shops everywhere and parade
around in absolutely unnecessary clothing? Why?
They do it to cause hostility and separation. In the
end I guess it’ll just end up a fucking WAR. They
make no attempt to get on together with us all, so

9. it will only end in tears. This is why I am upset, I
feel the separation and hostility and I feel the
aggression and hate. I live here, amongst this, this
is how I know!
I seem to repeat the same story every time I write,
its all so mundane, dull, repetitive and boring. The
same problems just repeating themselves each
week, each day and I’m still stuck here, unable to
move. I cannot bring myself to work like a brothel
girl just to save the money to move. I shouldn’t
have to work as a brothel girl! I want to move over
to the East end, give the so – called coolest place
in London and area of art. I’m not getting the
escort bookings, which in some ways is a good send
as I DETEST sucking random men’s penis’s. Kissing
a partners private spots and having intimate sex
with a lover is so VERY different from pulling off
and sucking off a random DIRTY BASTARD who
should know better! Now and then I do have
pleasant clients and now and then the sex isn’t
entirely repulsive, I certainly am only doing it for
the money though! If I had the money from
elsewhere I would more than likely be 100%
CELIBATE! I don’t feel the need for sex without
LOVE ever. Especially now I am a woman. When I
was younger I’d love having a quickie with a young
stud! Oh yearh! I’d often go out clubbing and pick
up a young sexy rock star kind! I’m getting too old
for that now though! I can honestly say if I didn’t
REALLY need the money I wouldn’t bother with
SEX! I’d much rather stay in a write my book and

10. make my art – hopefully a film and my music! This
is the 100% god’s honest truth! I’ve lost a lot of
clients recently as I really do believe that they
could be reading my blogs and have found out my
true identity, which is a real blow for me as I’m
not making enough money to live at the moment!
Each month is a quick scrape together from a night
in the lurk! I have debts still, It’s gonna be another
year like this until they’ve gone! This prospect is
fucking bleak! It’s the same old story, wages are
too low for a single, unskilled woman, such as
myself to put a roof over my head! I really am
mentally ill now anyhow, I am reclusive, lonely
and obsessed with aliens – COOL or WOT?
Haaaa!!!!! Kez ain’t trying to be a martyr, I’m just
trying to survive and be an artist, what I chose to
be! I’m not giving up now, not after all this time
and effort. I will continue. I always thought I was
going to do something special when I was young. I
honestly wanted to be a Doctor for quite a few
years when very young and I sometimes think it’s a
shame I didn’t, it’s such a honourable, thing to
become and do. Although, I’m far too eccentric
really to fit into the kind of niche the medical
profession is, as I have witnessed it first hand,
which is why I decided I didn’t want to join it! I
really am suited to be an artist, it is my ideal
profession and this is what I am! I am a true loner
and I enjoy my own company, but it would nice to
meet a few people, other artists and live amongst
similar types. I wonder how long it will be until I
can move to a better place? I don’t want to die in
fucking Tooting! I only live here as I was evicted

11. from Brixton and had to move asap so I moved to a
cheap room above the pub, it was so ideal as a
studio, particularly as it was also soundproof,
when I was still working on a fairly low wage! It
was supposed to be temporary, but then I lost my
job and my life sunk down this dark well! I really
am repeating old territory here – time to move
on……
NEW ART!
The crazy new alien obsession!!
Oh yes…But before that…. one more SEX story!
I am working on new art, if you are following my
life than you will already have read about my Alien
book! But before I go onto tell you all about my
exciting new project I’ll just let you know all
about THE CUNT SHITBAG EVIL BAKER WANKER the
other night! I’m skint people! I don’t see anywhere
near the amount of men I used to see for the
money! I just got too tired and worn down by it! I
need time to myself to rest and also to produce
my artwork! I am an artist afterall! I didn’t want
the sex business to take over my very important
artwork! Unfortunately this means I’m SKINT

12. again!! The other night, the phone rang and I was
all set to work on my book, paintings about aliens!
My new project! But I knew I didn’t have enough
money to pay my rent! So I said yes _ I’ll come out
and entertain! The guy sounded ULTRA rich! I can
sniff out a rich man! They smell like freshly
printed money over the phone! He was loaded, my
sixth sense ain’t usually wrong! So I got ready and I
sensed he was in a posh apartment - the Battersea
crew! The apartments in posh Battersea are HUGE
– I’ve been to a few posho locations around there,
especially living in Wand – smelly – worth!! He told
me to bring my toys and he wanted anal play. I
assumed, the way he asked, he wanted me to fuck
his ass with a strap – on! I loaded my mini-case up
with my stupid pink strap-on and other things and
also my camera! I sensed, incorrectly, that he
wanted a night of naughty fun and shenanigans, I
was, for the first time in quite sometime, WRONG!
I arrived after another nightmare cab journey with
yet another ISLAMIC ASSHOLE! Let’s not give any
false pretence here; these cab drivers are fuckin
assholes!!! They HATE us girls as they think we
have it easy - us white SLAGS! What they don’t see
is that we are doing it to survive!! They think we
are rich tarts who see all these rich men!! What
they don’t see is the rest of our lives! The Russian
ones with fuckin pimps taking half the cash!! Okay,
in my case I don’t have a pimp – but I hardly ever
see men! I think it was 3 or 4 this month!!! That’s
about £1000, of which some goes toward rent,

13. bills, food, transport, and miscellaneous and the
rest on art materials! TRUTHFULLY! Not a penny
spare – THAT”S IT!! The rest of the time I’m
working on my art seriously! Alright there’s the
odd baggo weed or this and that! Saying that I
don’t ever go out anymore, no holidays or anything
of the sort!! So I’m certainly not loaded! I’m
totally skint at the mo! These cab drivers they
hate us and really are not nice, and often they
smell! It’s not a pleasant life! Oh yearh, back to
the fuckin EVIL WANKER BANKER story…of which,
there is many!
So I got my case with my strap –on, toys, outfits,
alien mask ( I can live in hope that he has a sense
of humour, not likely, but Kez hopes!) I expected a
three hour chatting session with sex for under half
an hour – as usual! I eventually arrived after
another nightmare cab journey with a resentful
Islamic bastard who could smell the brown on me
as he hinted as we pulled up to an open grill
restaurant in Battersea square, yearh I can read
hints, I ain’t that stupid – I stink of brown at the
mo as I’m well back into smoking it, all thanks to
that Polish cow! By the time the cab driver argued
with me and the bloke who booked me over the
phone trying to find the address, of which he
probably knew where it was all along, he just
wanted to be fucking awkward. So I arrived at the
Battersea posho flat, the guy, quite a strapping,
mid thirties bit of rich, swanky, Oxford Dom hunk!
Hmm so far so good! He paid the cab – good boy – I

14. thought! We went up top his posh, swanky,
spacious apartment, far too big for him, you could
tell it was fuckin freezing in the winter! Lucky for
me it was summer, he was obviously the kind who
would refuse to have the heating on, for fear of
extortionate gas bills over £99. Trust me I can
smell these tight posh wanker bankers a mile off!
I’ve met enough of them to see the elastaine
underpants constricting the blood supply to their
pathetic knobs! HA!!
The gorgeous fluffy, yet, arrogant cats greeted me
as I walked into the huge leather four piece living
area with beautiful artefacts and paintings from
Thailand! Yearh, this guy was fuckin loaded! Out
came the champas, nicely chilled, served in glass
flutes! Strangely my suitcase remained waiting at
the door. It didn’t seem as if the guy really cared
too much for strap-ons! We chatted briefly about
his life and all his friends, of which, I now think
there are probably a BIG FAT ZERO, come to think
of it! Usually the case! He soon whisked me into
the bedroom, which had those speakers that even
come on in the toilet cubicle. This bloke aged only
33 was fuckin loaded JOMO!!! LOADED! It was an
expensive pad.
I wondered about my suitcase, the pics, my
strapons? I still hadn’t made my mind up what the
fuck this man really wanted with me? Why had he

15. asked me to bring all that stuff with me? I still
cannot fathom that! As soon as I got into the very
luxurous bedroom, off came his Chris Evans glasses
and out came the not so HUGE cock – thank FUCK!
I gave him the obligatory blow job and ‘got a
condom’ he wanted anal, so I ‘got the lube’ he
fucked me hard in my asshole – I asked him to
hurry up, as it can get a bit hot around the collar
in that department, considering I am still on fuckin
heroin and yes, it hurts, but one good thing is that
it tends to loosen things up and exercise the hole
for those large, lead weight, dried up turds!
Hahahahhahaha
HA FUCKIN HA! THE TRUTH AINT A NICE
SUBJECT!!!!!!!!
He came fairly quickly, he enjoyed his tight
asshole orgasm, men become very selfish when
they can afford to get it in the ass when they
want! It turned out he didn’t want the kit bag and
wanted to usher me away before I had time for
pics! He’d been through my suitcase and didn’t
want to give me the kindness to take a few
pictures, considering I was dressed up in quite a
sexy manner in new lacey stockings! He asked to
leave early before our allotted time was up, which
was my three hour Champagne special. He only
FUCKIN WELL ASKED for £50 back as I had only
spent 2 ½ hours with him! He wasn’t going to give
in on this, he REALLY WANTED THE £50 back! He
had fooled me into thinking I was gonna give him

16. one with the strap-on, when actually he had
wanted to simply fuck my asshole as it was a tight
fuck for a selfish cunt!! I told him to FUCK RIGHT
OFF! We got into a bit a disagreement! He wanted
the money back, I told him that was out of the
question! He still maintained that he wanted to
take £50 - back as he hadn’t spent the full three
hours with me! I had sensed that he’s done this
little trick to girls before, and I was totally
unimpressed. The guy was LOADED! He was
certainly bordering on millionaire by the look of it!
In my early days working as an escort, I’d had that
similar scenario and given in, in my naivety. I
certainly was not giving that rich bastard £50 back
after he’d rammed his fuckin dick into my asshole,
he hadn’t even tried for my vagina, he was just a
greedy, selfish, using pig – your typical prostitute
user. TOO SELFISH TO HAVE A GIRLFRIEND so HE
TREATS A WOMAN LIKE A FUCKIN PIN CUSHION IN
THE BACKSIDE!
We got into a bit of a heated debate! Until I lost
it, having been smoking smack all night, I was
ready for a fuckin hit!!!, desperately hoping he’d
have some fuckin drugs – no chance – HE WAS AS
FUCKIN STRAIGHT AS A DIE – DRUGS COST MONEY –
HE WEREN’T NO FUCKIN BIG SPENDER – I CAN TELL
YOU!! I KNOW THE FUCKIN SORT. TYPICAL BANKER
WANKER – TIGHT AND TIGHT ALL THE WAY
THROUGH – WHICH IS WHY THEY LIKE IT IN THE
ASSHOLE!

17. It started to get a bit heated in the room so I
fuckin looked around at the glass and the art and
the ornaments and the glasses and bottles and I
fuckin nearly picked one up and fuckin started to
smash his fuckin piece of heaven up! Yearh I’ve
done it before and I hope I won’t do it again, but
times like that when I see red. I SEE FUCKIN RED! I
was seeing RED! The CUNT DESERVED TO BE
TAUGHT A LITTLE LESSON IN LIFE! Ass hole still
throbbing from the fuckin forced penetration, I
was very close to smashing up the whole fuckin
joint! How someone of that wealth can ask a poor
drowned rat like me for £50 back after shagging
my asshole was completely beyond my
comprehension! I looked right at his fuckin
poncey, arrogant, fuckin posho banker wanker
face and I told him what a fuckin CUNT he was! A
fuckin nasty, using, piece of vile shit! A total ,
fuckin selfish BASTARD PIG! He deserved for me to
SMASH HIS FUCKIN WHOLE FLAT UP, ALL THE
GLASS, ALL THE FUCKIN EXPENSIVE MIRRORS, ALL
THE ART, ALL HIS PONCEY CERAMIC LAMPS – THE
FUCKIN LOT WAS GONNA FUCKIN GO ASWELL AS
HIS FUCKIN PONCEY GREY CATS!!!!!!......which is…
actually what stopped me! The cats. I suddenly
saw blood, more blood, the cats got in the way,
the place was smashed up to smitherins including
the cats that got caught by a piece of stray glass
and they had died. I couldn’t see that happen. I
couldn’t see that pain. I couldn’t hurt the
innocent cats coz of my stupid anger and his total
selfishness that is just a product of this fuckin
Capitalist, commercial, money driven, fame

18. obsessed, crazy fuckin FALSE world we have
created!! So I stopped right there before I did
something I would later seriously regret! I couldn’t
see those cats DEAD! I couldn’t see a grown man
weep and I didn’t want to get more injured and
hurt myself. I’m already covered in scars – I don’t
want anymore and I didn’t want the police! So I
told him what he was and he needed to go think
about himself and how selfish and using he is. I
walked over to the bed and softly sat down and I
looked up at him and quickly away and I said in
complete earnest sincerity: “man….I hope you go
to hell…..” . I asked him to call me a cab and I sat
in silence and waited in silence. The cab arrived I
simply got my case and walked out of his flat
bravely and honestly and I didn’t look at him, he
didn’t see my face again – I got in the elevator and
I left it there.
He’d ordered me a really expensive minicab, the
guy was fuckin twisted in the head as a lot of rich
people are, he'd become money obsessed! I was
just glad to be away from him after coming
dangerously close to a serious situation, in which I
would have certainly have gone down for, as its
not the first time I’ve smashed a place up! I then
went on to a tourist hotel at Tower Bridge, where I
met a tourist who’d been to watch Priscilla, how
much worst can the night have got! Ha HA!

19. I arrived at the Marriot hotel – West India Quay, I
always think London is particularly full of Asians
because of the India Quays – like ‘mini India’ ,
Indians may take it to be their territory! Ha!! It
could be true! Lovely large hotel, full of tourists, I
was still pretty much fuming from the scene
earlier so I went straight to the hotel bar and hit
the red wine with my very ugly, but very kind and
gentle client. I always feel guilty when taking
money of your ordinary everyday folk, as £300 is a
bloody lot of money to them! At the end of the
day, they are the ones that order me and they
know how much it costs – they don’t HAVE to call
me do they? I’d NEVER pay for SEX! It is certainly
something stupid men do and I think they are
totally insane for doing it! It comes down to the
location of ego, in a man the ego is located in the
cock! Ha! The bigger the cock, the bigger the ego,
in most cases! We had a long chat over the wine,
the man looked a bit fat, quite ‘ugly’, very
masculine looking with puffy eyes and kinda spikey
hair, he looked spikey, if he had been born a
dinosaur he would have been one of those stubby,
stout ones with the spikey tusks running along its
back! I did think that as I sat there looking at him!
The strangest thing about him was that he he
seemed very camp to talk to! He had been to
watch Priscilla and he seemed very gay to me! I
kinda hoped he was a bit gay, save me from having
to have ‘proper’ sex; perhaps I could use the pink
strap –on him! Unfortunately we didn’t get that
far, as I did my usual, very naughty trick, of
passing out in a methadone and H daze after just

20. four glasses of wine as well as the posho champas
earlier, I passed clean out and woke up in the
morning surprised to find myself naked in the
Marriot hotel next to a man who looked a bit like a
gay lizard! Yikes!
The man was kind enough to not demand sex out
of me at 7am, although he wants me to repay the
favour at a later date, fuckin hell, I thought I may
have got away with that one! However much I try
to stop myself selling sex, the truth is that is what
the men think they are paying for, in actual fact,
in my opinion they are paying for time. The reality
is sexual services, something I am not at all keen
on, I don’t know a girl who is, especially girls that
work as escorts! We’re all ONLY in it for the
money! Of course we are, why else would you suck
a fat man’s penis? No! You wouldn’t! I don’t care
how much you pretend to me that you would – I
know you fuckin well wouldn’t!
Finally I got off for home in a cab at about 9am, I
was pretty snarled about not waking up in own
bed, I hate waking up in strange beds and places,
unfortunately in my line of work it happens a lot!
I’m so glad I managed to get that money now
though as I found out yesterday that I’m down to
nothing! If I hadn’t have got that money from
those men I don’t think I would have been able to
pay my rent this month, which is quite a serious

21. situation of poverty! I don’t get booked enough
these days as I reckon the punters spread the word
around that I’m ‘KEZ’ as opposed to Kat. They will
not fund an artist as its too much of a threat the
their male ego’s. Men are disgustingly cruel!! I’ve
blown my cover and now have to deal with the
consequences of that! In all honestly I think I have
blown my cover on purpose as I’m just so sick and
tired of sucking penis’s. I don’t like penis’s
anymore! They are just horrible things! Its all just
such a horrible repetitive routine, which is one
reason I ‘specialize’ in hard anal and hard fuckin,
get the godamn thing over in minutes with a fuckin
durex – easy, clean and safe, and no mouth ulcer
worries!! Its always a bit hair-raising in the ass,
but it’s the tightest for the men and they cum
quick and strong and the endorphins blow em away
and I slip off and let them tingle in the post –
orgasmic bliss whilst I rejoice in the fact I can go
home and manage my life, eat and fund my art,
aswell as go for a good shit the next day. I DID SAY
KEZ THE ARTIST IS BRUTALLY HONEST didn’t I?
( I hope I can post this blog without too much fuss
over the unfront nature of the writing – I guess this
will mean the loss of yet more clients – as I know
that some of them are reading my blogs,
particularly Mr. Stretch your pussy open wide
aubergine man! He isn’t a bad man, I just don’t
understand why he feels the need to force things
in my hole? It doesn’t give any pleasure for him or
me and it just stretches my insides and makes me

22. feel violated, other than that sexually he isn’t to
bad, he had a big cock ego, which is what men
with big cocks have – Mr. Aubergine – don’t be too
offended)
So that’s the story of the other night, there are
many more stories, but I feel its now time to move
on the subject to the main exciting area for me:
my new art – The KEZ Sci-fi epic!
My new HUGE project that will change the nature
of KEZART I believe!
Well if you’ve been keeping a breadth of the life
and times of KEZ then you will already know all
about my ALIEN fixation! I actually began making
sci –fi art hmm..about four years ago now when I
first moved to Brixton. I wasn’t selling my poor
little body then! I had a poorly paid job in the
Elephant & Castle shopping centre in a little
Photography Kiosk / minilab with these Cockney
brothers who reminded me of Phil and Grant from
Eastenders! I was an angry Goth girl, I had
previously been working in a warehouse in
Leicester and had had the hots for the GOTH boy
and I had also turned into a Camden goth girl, I
used to have Blue black hair, sometimes I’d dye it
red! I didn’t have ANY money at all and I even had
to nick a pair of trainers!! I was earning £212 a

23. week and I had to pay my rent out of that and all
living expenses!! I lived in a shoebox room in a
shared house with 5 other people! I used to sit
drinking 4 cans of Stella on a old bit of foam with
my a guitar at night! I used to make ink and
watercolour diaries in those days too and that’s
when I started writing my alien abduction film and
I also started painting aliens!
KEZ WOZ POOR AS FUCKIN POOR CAN BE.
I also got into hard drugs in Brixton, for the first
time, it was quite a rough, poor, edgy life, but I
enjoyed myself. I worked very hard and I even
managed to get a studio for a short time, I
couldn’t afford to keep the studio at
Loughborough junction, but I did a few oil
paintings whilst working in there! I had a few on /
off boyfriends and one boyf was this GOTH lad who
moved to London at a similar time to me: Rob, he
was to be the star of my film, I ended up writing
the film around him. They were lovely days! I’d
bought myself my first partial SLR canon 400D, I
was really proud of it, it was a lot of money in
those days for me! I decided to make him the
subject of my art as he was a really skinny GOTH
boy and he played my guitar beautifully, he was in
a band! A HARD ROCK band, not really my cuppa
tea! I began taking photos of him with the view to
making this film and applying to the RCA, I

24. reckoned I was in with a chance, its funny how life
turns out, I was never in with a chance and now
I’m glad I’m not bothering with fuckin education!
YEARH THAT FUCKIN HURT YOU RICH CUNTZ!
Rob and I ended up arguing a lot! We always had
our differences! He was really moody, but he was
good looking, but he was just way too uptight for
me, he was quite posh, I was really quite common
at the time, I had only just moved from Leicester!
We were both really poor though! I’ve got a few
drawings about him – I shall upload them with this
blog to reminisce about my early days in LONDON,
how time passes and how life moves on! I am glad
that I have decided to revisit my original ideas for
artwork when I was living back in Brixton! I always
made very personal artworks about myself and my
life too, I have some lovely watercolours and ink
drawings on lovely handmade Indian paper! I was
happier back in Brixton, I had friends and there
was loads to do around there, great pubs and clubs
and the fabulous market, I so much miss Brixton, I
began getting very depressed when I moved to this
dive as its so lifeless compared to beautiful
Brixton! I had mates and boyfriends back in those
days! I just can’t meet anyone in this dull land!
Why the hell have I suddenly made a change

25. toward this idea of these extra terrestrial visitors?
Ha, it seems quite funny, but I do have some ideas
why I have decided to pursue this subject matter. I
find life itself a completely overwhelming difficult
reality to comprehend, although we are alive! I
have always wanted to explore reality and what it
actually is to be alive, in a philosophical and
spiritual nature. Along with this enquiry comes the
exploration of the possibility of life elsewhere in
the universe, something that to me is simply
inevitable! I feel that there must be life elsewhere
and the more I contemplate the history of planet
Earth and humanity, the more I feel that it is a
natural truth that planet Earth is not unique, that
yes, life exists elsewhere. I think the world that
we have created has just moved so far away from
our roots as entities in the universe! We have
created a blind capitalist world that breeds greed
and the accumulation of capital rather than love,
spirituality or truth. I long to reconnect with my
archaic, spiritual, sublime nature and with this for
me comes the exploration of consciousness, life
and the universe. I am exploring these ideas in an
imaginative, metaphorical way that is fun and I am
creating, beings, characters, stories that can
really be read on many different levels. This is
why this project is so VERY IMPORTANT to me. So
much could be contained in this ‘novel’,
‘project’,’story’, ‘film’, however it may manifest
eventually. I am beginning as I did with my last
short AAAA Alien Abduction film in watercolours,
however this latest work is far superior to my last
sketch book, the paintings are beautiful in

26. themselves which is very important to me. The
paintings must be seen to be works of art in
themselves, not just sketches for a film. The film,
may or may not happen, the paintings are already
here and there will be many. I like to draw and
paint my ideas and the story will appear through
the drawings. This is how this project began. I
started painting shapes and visualising figures and
spaceships and ideas about reality, consciousness
and the universe. I feel that I let my mind
investigate, wander and expand on the ideas until
it began weaving stories and ideas for forces of
dark and light and metaphors for the occurrences
in the universe.
I did see a coupe of UFO’s that looked like vessels,
oval shape vessels very, very high up in the sky,
about the height of a satellite and then after a
few minutes another travelled along and then they
crossed each other paths! I gasped in amazement!
I couldn’t believe it ! I must have been about 14
years old with my Dad in the garden who first
spotted them! I was always a pragmatic youngster
and I remember saying Oh it can’t be a UFO, it
must just be a satellite, until there were two and
they danced together and then after sometime,
they both zoomed off at such a speed and they
were then gone. I remember trying to get MUM,
who was never really that excited! My Dad and I ,
we couldn’t believe what we were seeing,
although my Dad did say he’d seen similar UFO’s
before, as he works nightshifts and he often used

27. to stargaze trough the night in the factory that he
works in. We used to chat about the universe and
that he thought the aliens were visiting! I always
thought it was such an amazing subject! This is
one of the reason’s it has stuck in my mind and it
is something I think about in my private crazy
moments and something in my mind I would like to
explore! Visually it opens up avenues of
possibilities! Great! Lots to paint, think and
create, as long as I stay level headed and don’t
end up looking as a complete eccentric,
schizophrenic, outsider artist, then I won’t get any
credibility or respect!
So onwards and hopefully I shall create an
allegorical story with lots of threads of meaning,
mystery, emotion and depth, as well as some
exciting ideas for the progression of humanity into
the future!
A final few thoughts.
I’m feeling a bit hurt at the moment by how I have
been treated recently both in my everyday life and
also online. Online, these AMERICAN CORPORATE
TOSSPOTS really have in for KEZ! I know it ain’t
just coz I say “Penis”, they ACTUALLY are going
out of their way to BLOCK and REMOVE me! I’m
getting hits and they can’t have a little poor
English whore gain fame and notoriety in America!
Oh no! ONLY AMERICANS CAN BE FAMOUS IN

28. AMERICA! This is how Americans generally are! The
English are NEVER as GOOD as them! I know I’ve
met enough Americans to know this is true! You
only have to look how they treated the very
beautiful Beckham couple! They were fabulous,
she was beautiful and fuckin SKINNY as any
American and he was just fuckin a fit as fuck
tattooed bit of yummy stuff – they should have
fitted in lovely in the U.S? I like Victoria Beckham,
I think she has taken many interesting unique risks
with her very chic style and I think she is a very
stylish lady who deserves lots of media attention!
The fuckin NASTY Americans fuckin well snubbed
her! NASTY! Real NASTY! So I am pretty sure it’s
the fuckin NASTY CORPORATE AMERICAN tosspots
that are repeatedly blocking me from the net!
Myspace have particularly had in right in for me!
They have censored and removed by blog
REPEATEDLY removing content that really
shouldn’t have been removed and blocked nearly
all the links to my other web pages – which they
really shouldn’t have been doing! I wrote several
serious threatening letters in a very polite and
serious manner bit they responded in a rude,
abrupt way and finally arrogantly told me to “get
an attorney” BASTARDS! I really did have a strong
case against myspace, particularly as I always
place a content warning on my blogs with even a
hint of adult content. We do need to protect our
children, but we also need freedom in out adult
life – SERIOUSLY! Children do become aware that
adults do have sex.

29. Of course I do not think its correct to expose
children to large amounts of porn and I actually
don’t really approve of the huge amounts of
internet porn online, most of my pictures are
actually only partial nudity when looked at it, like
a girl in a bikini. Myspace really have had it in for
me and since I put my own songs on my profile,
the music player fails to open automatically on my
page. I fear foul play – I REALLY DO and it’ll be
some AMERICAN tosspot on the other side pushing
the buttons if you ask me! They have now removed
my Google profile, and I am inclined to believe it
is because I was getting a large amount of hits on
it, same for my blogger online blog that myspace
have blocked! When I started getting hits they
blocked the links and I’m pretty certain it is
BECAUSE I USE BLOGGER! My instinct is SELDOM
WRONG - IF EVER. Incidentally they will not
unblock my Google profile – I am such a threat in
my upfront honesty! WAY TO GO KEZ!
So my plan is to make my own website asap! I’ve
tried having a quick look at flash, but I still
haven’t fathomed it! I was supposed to be doing
this college course, which was free, but I just
cannot bring myself to go back into fuckin
education at my age, with a load of kids and
‘tutors’ who will blatantly look down at me, I’m
too old for that kind of crap and I reckon it is far
superior for me to concentrate my energy on my
art and my book. I am a fine artist afterall and
they really quite upset me and were extremely

30. rude to me at ‘the interview’. The woman man-
handled my fine quality sketchbook for my original
film idea, which was a really special to me on
beautiful handmade paper! I am sometimes dicing
with death with the drugs and booze and I think its
best that I work on my own art that is close to my
heart, which is now my new watercolour project. I
want to express how I feel about the world in this
book. This is far more important that doing some
poxy college course so that I can end up doing
layouts for leaflets or some other similar crap
office job at the end of it!
A few final thoughts.
I get the distinct feeling that I am extremely
misunderstood in society! I do think about life,
death, the universe and the meaning of life a lot. I
think most people have become very removed
from such thoughts. We live in a world of total
ignorance a fake little artificial world that we all
just subscribe to without question and this
‘fakeness’ is getting worst. We live through
capitalism, particularly driven my America and
following closely is Britain with this idea that you
live to generate capital. Most men I meet live
through this premise and do not think about
ANYTHING else. I honestly think if we have been
visited by alien beings, which is QUITE POSSIBLE
and perhaps they may have even crashed one day

31. in the desert and bodies and a spaceship may have
been recovered then the governments and the
authorities in power would do EVERY GODAMN
THING THEY CAN TO COVER IT UP as this would
change the way we look at the world. The human
race would need to unite very quickly and we
would be forced to think outside our HUMAN
BUBBLE. We would be forced to think about what
the hell is out there and how the hell are we
gonna move the race on to meet with these
beings, protect ourselves, unite in the universe!
Life would drastically change and it would change
for the better. The world would need to continue,
but at the same time things would seriously have
to change and our attitude toward one another
and the universe and the planet would have to
rapidly change. The world would be a better
place, once the panic had subsided and the fear of
seeing something totally new and non-human!
WHAT A REVELATION!